Chapter Eight:

Saying Sorry

Two weeks. That's how long Santana had been in the ice box. Roman refused to talk to her or bring his girl anywhere near her and Quinn had basically demoted her to the bottom of the pyramid. The only reason Santana wasn't spending her lunches with Suzy Pepper was because she and Puck were still an item. As much as she hated herself for leading the dimwitted boy on, he was her only link left to status at McKinley and right now she needed her popularity more than anything.

Santana felt awful, more than awful, she felt utterly alone as she walked through the halls on her way to class. Maybe it was her fault for being such a bitch all the time. If she were a nicer person then maybe she might still have friends, but that wasn't meant to be. She had far too much rage built up inside. Years of self hate spilled out into hate for others. If she didn't vent it out someplace, she was liable to explode. Instead she chose to move forward with her head held high as if nothing were wrong.

She glared at two freshmen who were standing in front of her locker chatting about some stupid drama that she could care less about. When they saw her approaching they scampered away, but not before uttering the word "bitch" under their breath. Santana tried not to let if phase her. At this point it was almost like a nickname. She twirled her locker combo around until it clicked open. She pulled open the door and began collecting her books to go home. At the bottom of the pile she noticed th camp brochure she had received from Father Thomas. The paper was crinkled and folded after being smashed between books for several weeks, but the messaged handed changed. Frustrated Santana smashed the thing in her fist and shoved it down deep into her bag where she could find it later.

She felt hot anger boiling up under her skin. 'Why couldn't she just be fucking normal like everyone else. Why did she have to feel this way about Brittany'. Santana slammed her locker door with more force then she intended causing the other students to look her way.

"Wow someone needs anger management issues." a Cheerio named Kitty Wilde said as she approached with two hockey players flanking her on ether side. Santana was about to tell her to fuck off when she noticed the big gulps they held in their hands. " Your issues might have cost us nationals and some of us think that you need to cool down"

On cue the jock to her right slowly poured ice-cold blue slushie over the top of her head. Santana gasped as the cold drink ran down her neck and back.

" The next one is a warning from Quinn. If we do lose nationals you can consider yourself off the Cheerios for good and your place at this school demolished. If I were you I'd get my shit together and do everything in my power to make sure we win. " With that the second red slushie came pouring down over Santana's already freezing head.

Kitty and her idiots pushed by without a single glance back. All Santana could do was stand there for a long moment in shock, but when the whispers of the hall finally caught her ears, she picked up her things and ran to her car.

Santana sat on the end of her bed staring at her cell phone. Her dark hair was wrapped up in a towel from the three showers she had taken that night. It seemed slushie was a lot harder to get out of your hair than most people realized. She knew if she didn't make things right with Brittany, her life would be over before she even had a chance to really screw it up.

Her thumb flipped through the contacts until she found Brittany's name staring back at her. Her stomach felt knotted and sick just thinking about Brittany's voice on the other end. Her heart fluttered and skipped as she pictured Brittany pressed up close to her, the way she had been at the dance. Her sexuality was so fluid and effortless as if she knew exactly who she was and didn't care what anyone thought about it.

Santana closed her eyes and pictured herself in Quinn's shoes, bending over for the tall blonde. Letting the music control every sensual touch between them. Looking back she knew it was Quinn she was most jealous of. The girl never seemed to have a single problem to worry about. Everything came so easy to her and it hurt to see someone else get the girl Santana so desperately yearned for.

Lost in her fantasies, Santana didn't realize her finder had bumped the dial button until she heard a faint voice coming from the other in.

"Hello? Santana...you there?" Brittany asked though her tone was indistinguishable.

Santana fumbled with her phone suddenly embarrassed by the arousal which spread throughout her body.

"I—yes! I'm here! Hey. Hey! What's up?" Santana sputtered awkwardly into her phone looking down at her comforter.

"Um...not a lot. You?" Brittany asked clearly confused by what was going on.

"Oh. Well cool... I'm good." Santana's mind went blank for a moment. She had completely forgotten why she had called in the first place.

"Cool... Did you like—want something?" Her voice grew more curious by the second.

"Uh...yea... I just—um..." She was at a loss for words. Frustrated she threw herself back against her pillows with a small grunt. She closed her eyes and hoped the right words would just fall out. " I wanted to talk about what happened at the dance."

Brittany was quiet on the other end for several moments giving Santana a chance to collect herself.

"Oh, alright I guess."

"I just wanted to start off by saying that I don't hate you. Roman told me that's what you thought after and it's not true. I felt-" She paused. Talking about her feelings wasn't something Santana Lopez ever did.

"You felt?" Santana could practically see the girl's face on the other line judging her. Santana gave a deep huff and trudged on trying to convince herself that sharing was a good idea.

"I felt really bad when I heard that and I wanted to say I'm sorry." She confessed in one long breath. Brittany was quiet on the other line again. Maybe she was at a loss of words, but all Santana really wanted was an 'okay I forgive you' so her life could get back to normal.

"I just really don't understand what I did to make you so angry at me. I mean since the moment we met all I've done is try to get you to like me or notice me, but you seem determined to act like I'm not there. It's really hurtful, San." Brittany paused giving Santana a moment to think about her words.

Not there? How could Brittany think that? Every waking and dreaming moment Santana had, was spent thinking about Brittany. In class she'd replay conversations in her mind or think of conversations she wanted to have, instead of paying attention. At practice she constantly compared the other girl's movements to Brittany's. At night she fantasized about what it would be like to kiss Brittany's neck and run her fingers through her straw blonde hair.

"It's weird too because when I'm alone with you, you seem like the sweetest person in the world and the second we're around other people it's like that person doesn't exists. I don't get where it's all coming from. Do you have something against me dating your brother or is this just how you treat everyone who tries to be nice to you?" Brittany sounded frustrated and Santana couldn't blame her.

"Look, I get why you would think that, but all I can tell you is that it's not true. I do l-like you and I do want to be friends. It's just-my life is complicated." Santana tried to explain, but knew she was failing epically.

"Everyone's life is complicated Santana, not just yours. If that's all you can offer me then I don't really know why you called. If Quinn put you up to apologizing you can tell her that I'm transferring this Monday. You don't need to keep on with your fake apology." Brittany snapped angrily into the phone.

"Britt, it's not like that. Quinn didn't tell me to do anything and my apology isn't fake. I really am sorry and I do want to make it up to you. That girl you see when we're alone is real. I just—the people at my school expect me to be a certain way. If they found out I'm not the person they thought I was then my life would be over. I know that sounds stupid, but status is everything at McKinley. " Santana rolled over on to her side and played with the edges of her pillow. " Ever since I pushed you at the dance things have gotten kinda bad...Today they poured slushies on my head. I'm not saying sorry because of that though. I'm just trying to get you to understand what I mean."

Brittany gave a deep sigh from the other end of the phone, which sounded like she might have actually believed Santana's confession.

"I understand, but school is tough. You've gotten shit for a few days. There are kids at your school who get slushied every single day and nobody does anything to stop it. I'll accept your apology on two conditions. One: I want to hang out, like actual friends. Go places—do things together, all of it. Two: When I start McKinley I'm joining the Cheerios and Rachel's Glee club. I want you to join with me. You have an amazing voice and it's about time you show your school that you're more than just another popular cheerleader." Brittany said with an air of finality.

Santana furrowed her brows, puller her towel off, and ran her fingers through her hair. She was already on Quinn's shit list the last thing she needed was to be caught dead with a bunch of losers, singing and dancing to showtunes.

"No deal. Glee club is social suicide. I might as well just tell the entire school I'm g-" Santana stopped herself just in time. She couldn't believe she had nearly outed herself just like that. She was always so careful, but with Brittany around her filter seemed to vanish. "...-That I'm going to be a nerd the rest of my life." Santana bawled her fist and put it to her forehead.

"Fine. The I guess I'll see you around. Good luck with the whole slushie thing..."

"Wait!" Santana shouted into her phone. The last thing she wanted was for Brittany to hang up. " Fine, but if I do this I only go to rehearsals after school. No sitting with them at lunch or becoming bffs for life. Also I refuse to sing any musicals." Santana pouted into the phone. She could have sworn she heard Brittany giggle on the other in causing butterflies to ripple through Santana's stomach and chest.

"Alright. You have yourself a deal. You better text me first thing tomorrow so we can plan our first date." Brittany teased, but Santana' face grew red-hot. The idea of going on a date with Brittany was a fantasy although she knew the girl meant it in only a friendship kind of way.

"Whatever you want, princess." Santana retorted, but suddenly felt extremely stupid as Brittany giggled again. 'I should never be allowed to speak to girls ever! I'm such an idiot!'

"Well I'm going to go paint my nails and watch Adventure Time, so I'll talk to you tomorrow." Brittany said softly into the phone.

"Uh y-yea me to. Night." Santana mumbled, her brain was growing fuzzy from their conversation.

The phone clicked and the other end went dead.

Santana let her cell fall out of her hand as she reached for on of her pillows to put over her face. She groaned loudly into the soft material totally confused by what just happened. Some where in the course of their conversation she and Brittany had become friends, like real ones. Even better still, Brittany had confessed to wanting Santana's attention just as much as Santana wanted hers. She knew it was totally dumb to read into anything, but it made her heart giddy to hear. Her joy was quickly replaced by dread as it dawned on her that she would be spending a good amount of alone time with the gorgeous girl.

"Shit, what am I going to wear?"

Santana sprung from her bed and shifting through her closet endlessly searching for just the right outfit until the early morning hours. Eventually her tiered body forced her to crawl back into bed and call it a night.

Santana drifted off to sleep more peacefully than she had in months. Her dreams were filled with Brittany's friendship and all the things that would bring.

*A/N- Hope you liked the chapter. Sorry it's a little short this week. Things are looking up for them finally :) Let me know what you think so far!