Note: this is a long one. Thank you to Dark Sparrow. You are a class act. And Ella, you're right. I have to write for myself. Damn the torpedoes -here goes.
Chapter Four
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Shit. Shitshitshit. What was THAT? Abby, have you completely lost your mind? Have the crazy genes decided to take up habitation in ME? Decisively she turned, pushed on absentmindedly toward the EL platform. I can't go back up there. I should... but I can't! Romano hates my guts and- "why do I care what that Napoleonic tyrant thinks..." Abby muttered. Noticing the stares of her fellow passengers, Abby rose from the seat she'd just taken and walked to the back of the EL car. Right. I'm just another funtioning neighborhood lunatic riding the EL, she thought, '...nothing to see here folks...' As the gentle rocking of the train lulled her ravaged senses, the need for nicotine crept slowly up the back of her mind. Logical. She always wanted a smoke after se.... Stop, Abby, she chided herself, best not to think of that. Too dangerous. At least, not right now. Feeling a blush replacing the nicotine craving, rising from her neck, washing over her face, she realized, nope, too late. She couldn't help herself; she hadn't been taken like that -consumed, really- in such a long time. Had Carter always loved her like that? With such intensity and passion? Just couldn't show it, physically? And the gun? She gave an involuntary shudder. What had happened to him over there?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey, Ab' " Yosh Takada's smiling face was the first thing Abby was fully conscious of since Carter dropped "the gun" on her. And he was... smoking?
"Hey, hello yourself, Yosh!" Abby liked Yosh. He was always cheerful and helpful and, God love him, he was such a gossip-monger. Abby actually, shamefully, liked gossip. She felt a reluctant smile spread across her lips. "What're you doing smoking," she emphasized mock-seriously, "don't you know it will stunt your growth," voice dropping to a whisper, "down there?" She grabbed her own pack, tore off the top of the wrapper, and shook one out.
Yosh laughed, "It's not like it's been much use to me, lately, and anyway -hypocrite!" he held a flame out for her deftly, "and yes, I am talkin' to you!"
"Ah, come on Yosh... you know the rules,' chuckling, she held up her finger, "Do as I say, not as I do!"
They stood there in companionable silence, each pulling a few heavy drags off their cigarettes. Yosh broke the silence, "I thought you quit." He gave her a sidelong glance.
"I didn't even KNOW you smoked" she smiled, "and, yeah. I quit. But I bought a pack right off the EL this very morning..." Her thoughts turned to the events of that morning. "You know what they say, any thing worth doing is worth doing over..." Tossing her spent butt into the ashcan, Abby turned with a friendly pat on Yosh's shoulder, "Gotta get in there -Romano and Weaver all on the same day, you know." She cast her eyes heavenward in a silent prayer.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yosh stared after Abby. Boy, she's really friendly this morning, he thought. Except, she looked kind of stressed or something. Oh, well. She's a hard one to read. It's even harder to get any good gossip on her. Not that he tried. He liked Abby. She was always pleasant to him and, anyway, she did right by him with scheduling. He had no complaints.
Seeing Romano making his way up to the ambulance bay door, Yosh quickly took one last drag off his cigarette and aimed it for the ashcan. Not quickly enough; Romano caught him in the cross-hairs and leveled a withering look at him.
"Yo, Bruce Lee, don't you have any work to do?" Romano spat out. "If I need you in the ambulance bay, I'll yank your chopsticks, got it, Yu-gi-oh? He emphasized each syllable, as if speaking to the deaf.
Funny, Yosh usually liked everybody. Usually.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Romano announced his presence in the ER admit area in the same style, every day. "Listen up, you vo-tech school rejects. I want this board cleared and I want it cleared fast. Anybody not critical -treat 'em and street 'em. Turf what you can get away with without causing the hospital frivolous lawsuits. This isn't your grandmother's Sunday meal, people, so stop standing around like a bunch of slack-jawed troglodytes and get something done."
"Jerry, where is the procedure manual on hazardous waste spill protocols?" Rocket barked. Ever since he was humiliated and shuttled down to the ER he had made a point of shouting obscure requests at Jerry. He liked the idea of the good-natured giant, running around with his tail between his legs. Positively David and Goliath-like. A wicked smile spread across his lips, '...only the giant is an idiot and I'm the dwarf with the stones..." he thought.
"Good morning, Robert," Lizzie sang out, "...and I see we've not had our tea this morning, eh?" She was determined to make him crazy, lately. What was it with this woman?
"Ah, Lizzie, slumming it down in the ER? Wanted to step down into the human cess pool, feel our pain?" He challenged her with his insouciant stare. He lowered his voice, "Have you had breakfast, yet?"
"No. And, Yes, I would love to get something to eat with you." Her eyes twinkled, in response. She was
lovely, ravishing. He almost hated her.
"I didn't ask you to breakfast, Lizzie, but since you asked me, I assume you're buying?" He may have lost his arm but, dammit, he would not let her pity him. He would ride her harder than... Oh, yeah. He'd like to ride. But that wouldn't even be a remote possibility, now.
Her face was animated, she actually seemed to be enjoying this banter. Good performance, Lizzie. "Oh, Robert, how ungallant. You intimated-"
"What's that? Intimate...?" He wedged that in, knowing she would blush. Wait for it... Yes! There it was!
The color was extremely becoming. "As I was saying, Robert; You," clearing her throat, "insinuated, that you were offering breakfast, I merely took you up on the," stressing this, "implied offer."
"Ah, well, dutch treat it is, then..." As they began walking out, Romano switched places with her, and lightly placed his right hand on her back, "unless you change your mind and want to make a kept man out of me..."
"This is not a date, Robert," Lizzie stressed, catching Susan's eye and winking, "merely two old friends enjoying a breakfast togeth-" noticing his meaningful look, "don't look at me like that, you know perfectly well, I intended no innuendo of any sort!" Furrowing her brow, she poked him good-naturedly in the ribs.
"No, Lizzie, I was merely savoring the mental picture of us," and he lowered his voice again, "enjoying... breakfast... together." He stared intently into her eyes. There it was again -that lovely shade of rose rising in her cheeks...
"Robert, I will leave you... what is that expression? oh, yes -like a bad habit. No, it's drop. Yes, I will drop you like a bad habit if you do that again!" her words bit at him sharply, "Play nice, Robert." But her eyes were smiling.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Susan shook her head and chuckled. How does that woman put up with him so well? Susan liked Romano well enough -he was marginally more respectful to her than he was to anyone else in the ER. Although he certainly didn't treat her with deference, he generously offered her common courtesy and a modicum of professional respect. The same could not be said for her colleagues. Or Elizabeth. But there was something entirely different going on there...Well, work to do, she thought and called out, "Chuny, will you get me Roberson's chart and meet me in curtain two?"
Chuny grabbed the chart, "Susan, you want me to get a suture kit, too?" Chuny deposited money on the desk for the football pool, "That's my ticket outta here, so be careful with that money!" she said, with a laugh.
"Yeah. And Chuny -I saw your picks. Don't quit your job, yet..." Susan tossed her head back, a laugh escaping from her carefully composed expression. She detoured and grabbed some sterile dressing, meeting up with Chuny at the pulled curtain. "Mr. Roberson, I see on your chart that you were smashing cans on your forehead...?" As she pulled the curtain back she exchanged a look with Chuny, 'what a dumb ass' floating in the air between them.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Unbelievable! You people are unbelievable!" Kerry didn't know how much more of this she could take. The remodel was supposed to be her piece de resistance, but was turning into a massive piece of shit. Deadlines not met. Promises not kept. And the money. Constantly refiguring the budget; asking for more money. "Get out of my ambulance bay -if you're not working, find someplace else to loaf!" The stress of taking over the Chief of Staff position, coupled with this damn remodeling campaign, not to mention the Alderman... threatened to topple even Kerry's legendary determination.
The Alderman. His attentions to County were increasingly fueling the rumour mill around the hospital, but especially in the ER. She knew what people were saying, knew that toad Romano had probably started the rumours... She snorted, out loud. 'Yeah, right! I'm gay -he's gay,' she mused, 'Do they think that combination is like a double negative? The two gays cancel each other out and become straight?' She laughed at herself now. The first real laugh in a while. And, anyway, she realized that no one knew the Alderman was gay. Except for her. And his dead lover. Kerry felt tears sting her eyes. Trapped, caught between ambition and a real desire to help, Kerry had always walked the edge of the abyss. Now, she felt she was being pushed. She leaned through the restroom door upstairs, grabbed a tissue and sank against the wall for support. Wiping her tired eyes, she was startled at the realization that she was thinking about Mark. He was a true friend. She thought of his steadfast acceptance of her professionally and, she liked to think, personally. Even when she was butting heads with his best friend. She and Mark were yin and yang. But she had taken him for granted. Now, he was dead. And she really needed a friend.
"Oh, well, no sense dwelling in the past." She muttered as she exited the restroom. She looked up just in time to narrowly avoid bumping into Carter.
"Kerry" he nodded, not uncordially.
"Carter -you're back. Good to see you in one piece." A tentative smile curled her mouth.
"Yeah. I was lucky. So, who's living in the past?" He asked. If it were anyone else, Kerry might be offended. But she had always nursed a soft spot for Carter. Despite their many differences over the years.
"Oh, Carter -just thinking out loud." she evaded, but then thought, take a chance, "Actually, you ever think about Mark Greene?"
"Oh, yeah. Well, you know. Not as much as I used to, but occasionally... I'll be reminded of something he said..." His voice trailed off, his eyes did too. "What made you think of Mark, Kerry?"
"Just. Well, I respected him professionally and thought of him as a friend... I guess with Romano in the ER, I was missing him..." she looked at the terrazzo floor.
"Hey, uh, Kerry," Carter hesitated, "do you want to get a bite to eat? I was just on my way..."
"No, no -I have some adminis-" stopping suddenly, she thought better of it and exhaled quickly, "You know -it can wait. Yes. I am rather hungry."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Ramblings:
I am trying to be fair and balanced. Giving some of the other characters some play. You know, like the nurses and the other doc's in the ER? Remember Lydia? Connie? Or (this takes me back) WENDY?? Yeah, they're kinda fuzzy in my mind too! But I will rescusitate them. Bandage them up and send 'em back in the field. Because this is ER. It ain't no stinking soap opera, yo?
Chapter Four
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Shit. Shitshitshit. What was THAT? Abby, have you completely lost your mind? Have the crazy genes decided to take up habitation in ME? Decisively she turned, pushed on absentmindedly toward the EL platform. I can't go back up there. I should... but I can't! Romano hates my guts and- "why do I care what that Napoleonic tyrant thinks..." Abby muttered. Noticing the stares of her fellow passengers, Abby rose from the seat she'd just taken and walked to the back of the EL car. Right. I'm just another funtioning neighborhood lunatic riding the EL, she thought, '...nothing to see here folks...' As the gentle rocking of the train lulled her ravaged senses, the need for nicotine crept slowly up the back of her mind. Logical. She always wanted a smoke after se.... Stop, Abby, she chided herself, best not to think of that. Too dangerous. At least, not right now. Feeling a blush replacing the nicotine craving, rising from her neck, washing over her face, she realized, nope, too late. She couldn't help herself; she hadn't been taken like that -consumed, really- in such a long time. Had Carter always loved her like that? With such intensity and passion? Just couldn't show it, physically? And the gun? She gave an involuntary shudder. What had happened to him over there?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey, Ab' " Yosh Takada's smiling face was the first thing Abby was fully conscious of since Carter dropped "the gun" on her. And he was... smoking?
"Hey, hello yourself, Yosh!" Abby liked Yosh. He was always cheerful and helpful and, God love him, he was such a gossip-monger. Abby actually, shamefully, liked gossip. She felt a reluctant smile spread across her lips. "What're you doing smoking," she emphasized mock-seriously, "don't you know it will stunt your growth," voice dropping to a whisper, "down there?" She grabbed her own pack, tore off the top of the wrapper, and shook one out.
Yosh laughed, "It's not like it's been much use to me, lately, and anyway -hypocrite!" he held a flame out for her deftly, "and yes, I am talkin' to you!"
"Ah, come on Yosh... you know the rules,' chuckling, she held up her finger, "Do as I say, not as I do!"
They stood there in companionable silence, each pulling a few heavy drags off their cigarettes. Yosh broke the silence, "I thought you quit." He gave her a sidelong glance.
"I didn't even KNOW you smoked" she smiled, "and, yeah. I quit. But I bought a pack right off the EL this very morning..." Her thoughts turned to the events of that morning. "You know what they say, any thing worth doing is worth doing over..." Tossing her spent butt into the ashcan, Abby turned with a friendly pat on Yosh's shoulder, "Gotta get in there -Romano and Weaver all on the same day, you know." She cast her eyes heavenward in a silent prayer.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yosh stared after Abby. Boy, she's really friendly this morning, he thought. Except, she looked kind of stressed or something. Oh, well. She's a hard one to read. It's even harder to get any good gossip on her. Not that he tried. He liked Abby. She was always pleasant to him and, anyway, she did right by him with scheduling. He had no complaints.
Seeing Romano making his way up to the ambulance bay door, Yosh quickly took one last drag off his cigarette and aimed it for the ashcan. Not quickly enough; Romano caught him in the cross-hairs and leveled a withering look at him.
"Yo, Bruce Lee, don't you have any work to do?" Romano spat out. "If I need you in the ambulance bay, I'll yank your chopsticks, got it, Yu-gi-oh? He emphasized each syllable, as if speaking to the deaf.
Funny, Yosh usually liked everybody. Usually.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Romano announced his presence in the ER admit area in the same style, every day. "Listen up, you vo-tech school rejects. I want this board cleared and I want it cleared fast. Anybody not critical -treat 'em and street 'em. Turf what you can get away with without causing the hospital frivolous lawsuits. This isn't your grandmother's Sunday meal, people, so stop standing around like a bunch of slack-jawed troglodytes and get something done."
"Jerry, where is the procedure manual on hazardous waste spill protocols?" Rocket barked. Ever since he was humiliated and shuttled down to the ER he had made a point of shouting obscure requests at Jerry. He liked the idea of the good-natured giant, running around with his tail between his legs. Positively David and Goliath-like. A wicked smile spread across his lips, '...only the giant is an idiot and I'm the dwarf with the stones..." he thought.
"Good morning, Robert," Lizzie sang out, "...and I see we've not had our tea this morning, eh?" She was determined to make him crazy, lately. What was it with this woman?
"Ah, Lizzie, slumming it down in the ER? Wanted to step down into the human cess pool, feel our pain?" He challenged her with his insouciant stare. He lowered his voice, "Have you had breakfast, yet?"
"No. And, Yes, I would love to get something to eat with you." Her eyes twinkled, in response. She was
lovely, ravishing. He almost hated her.
"I didn't ask you to breakfast, Lizzie, but since you asked me, I assume you're buying?" He may have lost his arm but, dammit, he would not let her pity him. He would ride her harder than... Oh, yeah. He'd like to ride. But that wouldn't even be a remote possibility, now.
Her face was animated, she actually seemed to be enjoying this banter. Good performance, Lizzie. "Oh, Robert, how ungallant. You intimated-"
"What's that? Intimate...?" He wedged that in, knowing she would blush. Wait for it... Yes! There it was!
The color was extremely becoming. "As I was saying, Robert; You," clearing her throat, "insinuated, that you were offering breakfast, I merely took you up on the," stressing this, "implied offer."
"Ah, well, dutch treat it is, then..." As they began walking out, Romano switched places with her, and lightly placed his right hand on her back, "unless you change your mind and want to make a kept man out of me..."
"This is not a date, Robert," Lizzie stressed, catching Susan's eye and winking, "merely two old friends enjoying a breakfast togeth-" noticing his meaningful look, "don't look at me like that, you know perfectly well, I intended no innuendo of any sort!" Furrowing her brow, she poked him good-naturedly in the ribs.
"No, Lizzie, I was merely savoring the mental picture of us," and he lowered his voice again, "enjoying... breakfast... together." He stared intently into her eyes. There it was again -that lovely shade of rose rising in her cheeks...
"Robert, I will leave you... what is that expression? oh, yes -like a bad habit. No, it's drop. Yes, I will drop you like a bad habit if you do that again!" her words bit at him sharply, "Play nice, Robert." But her eyes were smiling.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Susan shook her head and chuckled. How does that woman put up with him so well? Susan liked Romano well enough -he was marginally more respectful to her than he was to anyone else in the ER. Although he certainly didn't treat her with deference, he generously offered her common courtesy and a modicum of professional respect. The same could not be said for her colleagues. Or Elizabeth. But there was something entirely different going on there...Well, work to do, she thought and called out, "Chuny, will you get me Roberson's chart and meet me in curtain two?"
Chuny grabbed the chart, "Susan, you want me to get a suture kit, too?" Chuny deposited money on the desk for the football pool, "That's my ticket outta here, so be careful with that money!" she said, with a laugh.
"Yeah. And Chuny -I saw your picks. Don't quit your job, yet..." Susan tossed her head back, a laugh escaping from her carefully composed expression. She detoured and grabbed some sterile dressing, meeting up with Chuny at the pulled curtain. "Mr. Roberson, I see on your chart that you were smashing cans on your forehead...?" As she pulled the curtain back she exchanged a look with Chuny, 'what a dumb ass' floating in the air between them.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Unbelievable! You people are unbelievable!" Kerry didn't know how much more of this she could take. The remodel was supposed to be her piece de resistance, but was turning into a massive piece of shit. Deadlines not met. Promises not kept. And the money. Constantly refiguring the budget; asking for more money. "Get out of my ambulance bay -if you're not working, find someplace else to loaf!" The stress of taking over the Chief of Staff position, coupled with this damn remodeling campaign, not to mention the Alderman... threatened to topple even Kerry's legendary determination.
The Alderman. His attentions to County were increasingly fueling the rumour mill around the hospital, but especially in the ER. She knew what people were saying, knew that toad Romano had probably started the rumours... She snorted, out loud. 'Yeah, right! I'm gay -he's gay,' she mused, 'Do they think that combination is like a double negative? The two gays cancel each other out and become straight?' She laughed at herself now. The first real laugh in a while. And, anyway, she realized that no one knew the Alderman was gay. Except for her. And his dead lover. Kerry felt tears sting her eyes. Trapped, caught between ambition and a real desire to help, Kerry had always walked the edge of the abyss. Now, she felt she was being pushed. She leaned through the restroom door upstairs, grabbed a tissue and sank against the wall for support. Wiping her tired eyes, she was startled at the realization that she was thinking about Mark. He was a true friend. She thought of his steadfast acceptance of her professionally and, she liked to think, personally. Even when she was butting heads with his best friend. She and Mark were yin and yang. But she had taken him for granted. Now, he was dead. And she really needed a friend.
"Oh, well, no sense dwelling in the past." She muttered as she exited the restroom. She looked up just in time to narrowly avoid bumping into Carter.
"Kerry" he nodded, not uncordially.
"Carter -you're back. Good to see you in one piece." A tentative smile curled her mouth.
"Yeah. I was lucky. So, who's living in the past?" He asked. If it were anyone else, Kerry might be offended. But she had always nursed a soft spot for Carter. Despite their many differences over the years.
"Oh, Carter -just thinking out loud." she evaded, but then thought, take a chance, "Actually, you ever think about Mark Greene?"
"Oh, yeah. Well, you know. Not as much as I used to, but occasionally... I'll be reminded of something he said..." His voice trailed off, his eyes did too. "What made you think of Mark, Kerry?"
"Just. Well, I respected him professionally and thought of him as a friend... I guess with Romano in the ER, I was missing him..." she looked at the terrazzo floor.
"Hey, uh, Kerry," Carter hesitated, "do you want to get a bite to eat? I was just on my way..."
"No, no -I have some adminis-" stopping suddenly, she thought better of it and exhaled quickly, "You know -it can wait. Yes. I am rather hungry."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Ramblings:
I am trying to be fair and balanced. Giving some of the other characters some play. You know, like the nurses and the other doc's in the ER? Remember Lydia? Connie? Or (this takes me back) WENDY?? Yeah, they're kinda fuzzy in my mind too! But I will rescusitate them. Bandage them up and send 'em back in the field. Because this is ER. It ain't no stinking soap opera, yo?