~Author's note~
Ahhhhh! 'S good to be back. The outside world is a hearty taskmistress, eh? Ella, twenty-odd chapters, where did you find the time?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Five:
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"So, Carter," distracted by the noise of the busy cafateria, Kerry searched the room with her eyes, "you've been to Africa..." She was a little unsure of how this conversation would go. When she accepted, on a whim, to have lunch with Carter, she was in a rare emotionally vulnerable state. That state had passed. Kerry liked Carter; she just made it a policy to never get too close to colleagues. Except for Mark, the thought came back like a dull ache. But that closeness had steeled itself into her subconscious -she hadn't even known it existed until that damn fax from Hawaii...
"Uh, yes, yes -It's," a nervous chuckle, " -it's certainly something... You've been, right?" She only nodded, so Carter continued, "I didn't know that people... Well, I guess I've always been so comfortable..." he shifted, uncomfortably, "I didn't realize people had to endure rather than actually live..." His eyes flitted in her direction and then, quickly, away. There it was again. That... nervous, or maybe... agitated? squirm in his chair.
"You've an interesting and very valuable perspective now, Carter, a perspective most of us don't have the opportunity to develop..." He definitely wasn't making eye contact... Was Carter in trouble again...? Kerry let her eyes hone in on Carter's demeanor, searching for the inevitable signs. "I think people with plenty tend to think everyone has enough. Or, at least, have access." No...no, she could be wrong but she didn't think he was struggling with relapse. He was definitely different but, Kerry thought, somehow in a not altogether bad way. "We walk around in a little bubble sometimes, never realizing that a significant portion of the world goes to bed hungry every night. I mean," she paused searching his face, " we just don't think about that stuff, right?"
"Yeah, well -I thought I had that perspective, thought with my family and Bobby and..." Imperceptible as a breath, his voice faded into the cafeteria noise. "Hey," switching directions, "you wouldn't believe Kovac -he seems to be in his element... I think he's actually having fun over there. Crazy. It's like in spite of the frustration -seeing sickness you know you could cure, if you only had the right meds -it just..." a flick of his eyes; then a quick, mirthful chuckle, "..I guess 'The Cape' just looks good on him..."
" 'Kovac as Superman,' " Kerry snorted, "it's a bit of a stretch, Carter, but I can see where field medicine might wear well on him..."
"Yeah, yeah... he, ah... I don't know if he's even coming back. I left him there, in the middle of all this, this... fighting...told him not to get himself killed..." That Carter was chewing on something was ever more apparant, especially when he spoke of Kovac.
"Well," Kerry weighed her words diplomatically, "it's no secret that Luka has many... misgivings, regarding County procedures..."
"Yeah..." Carter readily agreed, "but I don't think it's so much the procedures, Kerry... I think it's just the bureaucracy that gets to him..." he looked up quickly, "Oh, I, uh, damn. No offence to you, of course..."
"No, Carter, don't worry about it," she let out an amused chuckle, "...maybe I took the position in order to cut through some of that crap. Or maybe," her mouth twitched into a sardonic bow, "I'm just the ball-busting, power-hungry bitch everyone thinks I am..."
Tension thickened the already dense air for the tiniest moment before they both burst out laughing.
"Kerry, no one-"
"No, it's oka-"
Nodding his head, he urged her, "...go ahead, you first..." their shared laughter still encircling them.
"It's just that any person in a position of authority has to be prepared to face the animosity of their colleagues..." It sounded textbook and lame even to her own ears. "Carter, I have few illusions. I know people think I am... less than desirable in the personality department."
"Kerry, I don't think..." She could see he agreed with her. Carter was just too polite to confirm her suspicion. "I think you have a job to do. And you do it well." Looking up at her from under his brow, "And, in the process, your, ah, demeanor rubs some people the wrong way..."
Well done, Carter. "You know," she felt more jovial now, "you would make a pretty fair administrator. You've certainly nailed the bullshit aspect," catching the quick panicked look in his eye, she continued, "but you have to work on that poker face." He blinked, uncomprehending at first. As realization dawned, his face broke into a relaxed grin.
"Ahhh, heh -you almost had me there." Slight pause, "But, Kerry, you know I would rather practice medicine than deal with the administrative end." He shook his head, let out a muffled chuckle, "After all, I have family pressure to run the Carter Foundation, an edict from the damn grave -and I won't budge..." His voice trailing off, Carter shook his head. "The thing I don't get," defeated almost, "I have never wavered in my commitment to medicine. Not once," looking up tentatively, "and Gam- my Grandmother -and I mean no disrespect, but... she finds a way to simultaneously alienate my father even further," his voice cracking, "and pull at me, too. To do something she knows -knew- I don't want to do..." Kerry could see he was trying to mask his bitterness. Uncomfortable, Kerry attempted to change the subject.
"Well, families all have their own ways of communicating, John. Some of that, I'm sure, was well-intentioned, wasn't it?" With the question hanging unanswered, Kerry discreetly moved on, "However, you seem determined to pass on the chairmanship, and the company will survive. Of that you can rest assured." A swift intake of breath and, "What exactly happened over there, in...You were in the Congo, right?" Gazing evenly, she made her face impassive. Give the poor guy an out...
Visibly grateful, Carter plunged in enthusiastically, "It was... amazing. I mean, the conditions were primitive at best. Meds were, are- well, they're tributes to primitive medical practice. Penicillin, Kerry -no erythromycin, nothing modern. Forget sterile conditions, heh -I don't even remember washing my hands properly. The power went out... We all just understood that we would keep going until the generators ran out... It was hack medicine, Kerry, we all knew it, but-" gulping air, Carter allowed a mellow grin to spread across his features, "... I felt, for the first time in, well, longer than I can remember; I felt like I was really practicing medicine. Meeting needs, listening to my patients; bonding with them... It was," glancing back down at his hands, "simply extraordinary."
"It sounds like you had a life-changing experience, John." In spite of herself, she was moved by his confessional. "It sounds, too, like you might be looking for a permanent change of scenery...?" Ever the admin. Hey, if Carter was thinking of vacating and with Kovac all but history, she would need to replace them. Just being practical.
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far... I mean, things here have been pretty bad for a while, personally," his brow pinched again, " but professionally, well... I know County. I am used to County. It's almost a part of my DNA, at this point. I would have to think long and hard about moving on..." looking up, lost, "make sure it was for the right reasons..."
Kerry had never been good at the friendship talk. Just didn't know how to go about it. She had come closest to a solid work friendship with Mark. But, even their communication skimmed the surface. She'd never trusted herself to really open up. Or to allow him to open up, either. She should work on that. And Carter looked like he needed a friend, right now. Maybe more than she did. "John, is there something else on your mind? Ummm, anything you want to talk about?" Where in hell did that come from? Sometime, Kerry, some day maybe... you could cultivate a friendship... "You just seem, I don't know, down. And strangely up at the same time..." Oh, that made a shit load of sense...
Startled, Carter looked up, blurting, "It's not... I don't want to, uh. Wow. You caught me by surprise..." His eyes pleaded with her.
"No, I didn't mean to shock, or... John. I don't mean to pry. I just thought..." This is why. This is why she didn't do frindshippy talk. Testing the water, Kerry started over, "You and I have known each other a long time. We both have had occasion to examine our lives through the lense of experience recently." She was really getting lost here. Tie it up, Kerry, she thought, tie it up neatly. "Honestly? Mine has come up wanting." At his surprised look, she assured him, "Yes, John. I realized I have the job I've always wanted. But I don't have one friend in this god-forsaken building."
"Kerry, you said yourself-"
She interrrupted, "I'm not in need of a shoulder at this point, John. I was offering mine to you. You look like you could use it." With this she looked, embarrassed now, down at her hands. "I'd like to think if I ever did need -you'd do the same for me..." There. Out in the open now.
"Kerry, I... you didn't..." Stealing a glance up, she could see this was uncharted water for him too. "I, uh... Well -you know about my Gam- uh, my Grandmother. Trying to enforce her will on me through her, heh, Will. My father was overjoyed at that one..." The determined look in his eyes told her he would give this a shot. "He was hoping for the chairmanship... Can't say as my, uh, Grandmothers decision has brought us any closer." Pausing, he glanced out the cafeteria door and then quickly looked back, "And... things on an even more personal note are... well, they are 'not' at the moment."
"You're speaking of... Abby...?" Kerry might have seemed unconcerned with the daily affairs of her coworkers but she kept herself informed, nonetheless.
Again, Carter looked sideswiped, "Uh," an uncomfortable chuckle, "yes. Precisely, that. But I won't burden you with that, uh, that personal crap..." And that was about all Kerry could endure for the moment. Social skills were like muscles; they would atrophy from disuse. But also, best not to overdo it on the first time out, either...
Attempting to look as concerned and caring as she desired to be, Kerry reached across and patted Carter on the arm. "I don't want to leave you hanging. You've trusted me with your concerns and I appreciate that. But," glancing at her watch, "I am now five minutes late for a meeting with Anspaugh," rising, steadying herself on her cane, "and you know what? I don't care! It has been... nice. Yes. It's been nice talking to you John. But I better be going, now, or I may lose this job I'm not quite sure I really want..." Pausing long enough to gather her paperwork and, maybe, her wits, she looked at him, "Thank you, John. I needed that, today. Needed to be just 'Kerry' for a while..."
"Uh, no problem, Kerry..." she noticed the puzzled look on his face, "we'll try and do this more often, huh?" he questioned.
"Yes. Yes, we will." She passed hurriedly out the busy cafeteria entrance and disappeared down the hall.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Carter sat a moment in perplexed silence. Feeling like he'd just been deposited by a tornado, he was slightly disoriented. What had that been about? He had actually opened up to Kerry. Well, a bit, anyway. Not about what was consuming his thoughts, certainly. But about the damn Gamma / Carter Foundation debacle. There was no one to tell of his thoughts on Abby. No one who would really understand. She was... well, at one time he thought SHE was the tornado. But it was more complicated than that.
Paying for his food at the cashier station, he absentmindedly recited, "Soup, uh, Chicken Noodle. A sandwich and, uh, pie. Pie, uh, and... coffee..." Pie and Coffee. John and Abby. He missed her. They'd made a shambles of their relationship; their friendship. Slowly making his way out of the now nearly deserted cafeteria, he thought about what drew him to her. Her life was chaos, sure; she pushed him away, yes... But she pushed in a way that made him know she really wanted him to stay. Or so he thought. Maybe he didn't really know her at all.
For him, though, being drawn to Abby was like blinking. He didn't think about it -he just did it. She was complicated, he knew that. He could spend the rest of his life trying to figure her out and would only touch the tip of the iceberg. But he knew, deep in his bones, why he was pulled, irresistably, in her direction. Her inauspicious entry into his life, her redemptive betrayal of his addiction to his mentors had become the fulcrum point of his life.
Before Addiction, After Addiction was simplistic. For him, it was the whole of it; from Sobrieki's knife twisting deep in his back, helplessly watching as Lucy died in front of his eyes, the pull of drugs, dragging him into the abyss, Abby's having the guts to "narc" on him, to see that he got help. That was it. Abby -screwed up, self-defeating, alcoholic, casualty of her mother's illness; sweet, sorrowful Abby had done for him what she couldn't do for herself. She was inside him just as deeply as that knife had been, paring away all the excess crap; challenging him to get on with it! Live. Accept the simplest hypothesis. Sometimes shit happens, Carter, he heard her voice in his head, So, deal with it; take action. Even if, sometimes, it wasn't the right action...
In his most private mind, when Carter's thoughts on Abby were not very positive, he thought of her as that proverbial two-edged sword. She cut into him deeply. She challenged him to the point of distraction. She twisted him with pain. She confused him to no end, and made him wonder -sometimes daily- if she was worth the trouble.
But, she also saved his life. Took on sponsorship of him against her better judgement because he prevailed upon her. Maybe at a bad time in her life, when she shouldn't have sponsored anyone, much less him. She was his friend, then his lover -probably against her better judgement, as well. And when she needed him, he tried. His most valiant effort. But they were at cross purposes. She wanted him for security; he was safe. But he wanted her to be "The One."
Yep. This is what was really bothering him. Stuff he couldn't discuss with anyone, least of all Kerry. These were things that, if they were happening with someone else, he would discuss them with Abby.
Things were really screwed up, now. Probably beyond repair.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Ramblings:
I've been gone for a while and I may have lost you, gentle readers... I hope not. This one was tough. I needed to get some exposition in, and that's not an easy task. Especially if you're trying not to make one character look like a mere sounding board for another! **wink** This is going somewhere, I promise. Please stick with me.
Ahhhhh! 'S good to be back. The outside world is a hearty taskmistress, eh? Ella, twenty-odd chapters, where did you find the time?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Five:
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"So, Carter," distracted by the noise of the busy cafateria, Kerry searched the room with her eyes, "you've been to Africa..." She was a little unsure of how this conversation would go. When she accepted, on a whim, to have lunch with Carter, she was in a rare emotionally vulnerable state. That state had passed. Kerry liked Carter; she just made it a policy to never get too close to colleagues. Except for Mark, the thought came back like a dull ache. But that closeness had steeled itself into her subconscious -she hadn't even known it existed until that damn fax from Hawaii...
"Uh, yes, yes -It's," a nervous chuckle, " -it's certainly something... You've been, right?" She only nodded, so Carter continued, "I didn't know that people... Well, I guess I've always been so comfortable..." he shifted, uncomfortably, "I didn't realize people had to endure rather than actually live..." His eyes flitted in her direction and then, quickly, away. There it was again. That... nervous, or maybe... agitated? squirm in his chair.
"You've an interesting and very valuable perspective now, Carter, a perspective most of us don't have the opportunity to develop..." He definitely wasn't making eye contact... Was Carter in trouble again...? Kerry let her eyes hone in on Carter's demeanor, searching for the inevitable signs. "I think people with plenty tend to think everyone has enough. Or, at least, have access." No...no, she could be wrong but she didn't think he was struggling with relapse. He was definitely different but, Kerry thought, somehow in a not altogether bad way. "We walk around in a little bubble sometimes, never realizing that a significant portion of the world goes to bed hungry every night. I mean," she paused searching his face, " we just don't think about that stuff, right?"
"Yeah, well -I thought I had that perspective, thought with my family and Bobby and..." Imperceptible as a breath, his voice faded into the cafeteria noise. "Hey," switching directions, "you wouldn't believe Kovac -he seems to be in his element... I think he's actually having fun over there. Crazy. It's like in spite of the frustration -seeing sickness you know you could cure, if you only had the right meds -it just..." a flick of his eyes; then a quick, mirthful chuckle, "..I guess 'The Cape' just looks good on him..."
" 'Kovac as Superman,' " Kerry snorted, "it's a bit of a stretch, Carter, but I can see where field medicine might wear well on him..."
"Yeah, yeah... he, ah... I don't know if he's even coming back. I left him there, in the middle of all this, this... fighting...told him not to get himself killed..." That Carter was chewing on something was ever more apparant, especially when he spoke of Kovac.
"Well," Kerry weighed her words diplomatically, "it's no secret that Luka has many... misgivings, regarding County procedures..."
"Yeah..." Carter readily agreed, "but I don't think it's so much the procedures, Kerry... I think it's just the bureaucracy that gets to him..." he looked up quickly, "Oh, I, uh, damn. No offence to you, of course..."
"No, Carter, don't worry about it," she let out an amused chuckle, "...maybe I took the position in order to cut through some of that crap. Or maybe," her mouth twitched into a sardonic bow, "I'm just the ball-busting, power-hungry bitch everyone thinks I am..."
Tension thickened the already dense air for the tiniest moment before they both burst out laughing.
"Kerry, no one-"
"No, it's oka-"
Nodding his head, he urged her, "...go ahead, you first..." their shared laughter still encircling them.
"It's just that any person in a position of authority has to be prepared to face the animosity of their colleagues..." It sounded textbook and lame even to her own ears. "Carter, I have few illusions. I know people think I am... less than desirable in the personality department."
"Kerry, I don't think..." She could see he agreed with her. Carter was just too polite to confirm her suspicion. "I think you have a job to do. And you do it well." Looking up at her from under his brow, "And, in the process, your, ah, demeanor rubs some people the wrong way..."
Well done, Carter. "You know," she felt more jovial now, "you would make a pretty fair administrator. You've certainly nailed the bullshit aspect," catching the quick panicked look in his eye, she continued, "but you have to work on that poker face." He blinked, uncomprehending at first. As realization dawned, his face broke into a relaxed grin.
"Ahhh, heh -you almost had me there." Slight pause, "But, Kerry, you know I would rather practice medicine than deal with the administrative end." He shook his head, let out a muffled chuckle, "After all, I have family pressure to run the Carter Foundation, an edict from the damn grave -and I won't budge..." His voice trailing off, Carter shook his head. "The thing I don't get," defeated almost, "I have never wavered in my commitment to medicine. Not once," looking up tentatively, "and Gam- my Grandmother -and I mean no disrespect, but... she finds a way to simultaneously alienate my father even further," his voice cracking, "and pull at me, too. To do something she knows -knew- I don't want to do..." Kerry could see he was trying to mask his bitterness. Uncomfortable, Kerry attempted to change the subject.
"Well, families all have their own ways of communicating, John. Some of that, I'm sure, was well-intentioned, wasn't it?" With the question hanging unanswered, Kerry discreetly moved on, "However, you seem determined to pass on the chairmanship, and the company will survive. Of that you can rest assured." A swift intake of breath and, "What exactly happened over there, in...You were in the Congo, right?" Gazing evenly, she made her face impassive. Give the poor guy an out...
Visibly grateful, Carter plunged in enthusiastically, "It was... amazing. I mean, the conditions were primitive at best. Meds were, are- well, they're tributes to primitive medical practice. Penicillin, Kerry -no erythromycin, nothing modern. Forget sterile conditions, heh -I don't even remember washing my hands properly. The power went out... We all just understood that we would keep going until the generators ran out... It was hack medicine, Kerry, we all knew it, but-" gulping air, Carter allowed a mellow grin to spread across his features, "... I felt, for the first time in, well, longer than I can remember; I felt like I was really practicing medicine. Meeting needs, listening to my patients; bonding with them... It was," glancing back down at his hands, "simply extraordinary."
"It sounds like you had a life-changing experience, John." In spite of herself, she was moved by his confessional. "It sounds, too, like you might be looking for a permanent change of scenery...?" Ever the admin. Hey, if Carter was thinking of vacating and with Kovac all but history, she would need to replace them. Just being practical.
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far... I mean, things here have been pretty bad for a while, personally," his brow pinched again, " but professionally, well... I know County. I am used to County. It's almost a part of my DNA, at this point. I would have to think long and hard about moving on..." looking up, lost, "make sure it was for the right reasons..."
Kerry had never been good at the friendship talk. Just didn't know how to go about it. She had come closest to a solid work friendship with Mark. But, even their communication skimmed the surface. She'd never trusted herself to really open up. Or to allow him to open up, either. She should work on that. And Carter looked like he needed a friend, right now. Maybe more than she did. "John, is there something else on your mind? Ummm, anything you want to talk about?" Where in hell did that come from? Sometime, Kerry, some day maybe... you could cultivate a friendship... "You just seem, I don't know, down. And strangely up at the same time..." Oh, that made a shit load of sense...
Startled, Carter looked up, blurting, "It's not... I don't want to, uh. Wow. You caught me by surprise..." His eyes pleaded with her.
"No, I didn't mean to shock, or... John. I don't mean to pry. I just thought..." This is why. This is why she didn't do frindshippy talk. Testing the water, Kerry started over, "You and I have known each other a long time. We both have had occasion to examine our lives through the lense of experience recently." She was really getting lost here. Tie it up, Kerry, she thought, tie it up neatly. "Honestly? Mine has come up wanting." At his surprised look, she assured him, "Yes, John. I realized I have the job I've always wanted. But I don't have one friend in this god-forsaken building."
"Kerry, you said yourself-"
She interrrupted, "I'm not in need of a shoulder at this point, John. I was offering mine to you. You look like you could use it." With this she looked, embarrassed now, down at her hands. "I'd like to think if I ever did need -you'd do the same for me..." There. Out in the open now.
"Kerry, I... you didn't..." Stealing a glance up, she could see this was uncharted water for him too. "I, uh... Well -you know about my Gam- uh, my Grandmother. Trying to enforce her will on me through her, heh, Will. My father was overjoyed at that one..." The determined look in his eyes told her he would give this a shot. "He was hoping for the chairmanship... Can't say as my, uh, Grandmothers decision has brought us any closer." Pausing, he glanced out the cafeteria door and then quickly looked back, "And... things on an even more personal note are... well, they are 'not' at the moment."
"You're speaking of... Abby...?" Kerry might have seemed unconcerned with the daily affairs of her coworkers but she kept herself informed, nonetheless.
Again, Carter looked sideswiped, "Uh," an uncomfortable chuckle, "yes. Precisely, that. But I won't burden you with that, uh, that personal crap..." And that was about all Kerry could endure for the moment. Social skills were like muscles; they would atrophy from disuse. But also, best not to overdo it on the first time out, either...
Attempting to look as concerned and caring as she desired to be, Kerry reached across and patted Carter on the arm. "I don't want to leave you hanging. You've trusted me with your concerns and I appreciate that. But," glancing at her watch, "I am now five minutes late for a meeting with Anspaugh," rising, steadying herself on her cane, "and you know what? I don't care! It has been... nice. Yes. It's been nice talking to you John. But I better be going, now, or I may lose this job I'm not quite sure I really want..." Pausing long enough to gather her paperwork and, maybe, her wits, she looked at him, "Thank you, John. I needed that, today. Needed to be just 'Kerry' for a while..."
"Uh, no problem, Kerry..." she noticed the puzzled look on his face, "we'll try and do this more often, huh?" he questioned.
"Yes. Yes, we will." She passed hurriedly out the busy cafeteria entrance and disappeared down the hall.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Carter sat a moment in perplexed silence. Feeling like he'd just been deposited by a tornado, he was slightly disoriented. What had that been about? He had actually opened up to Kerry. Well, a bit, anyway. Not about what was consuming his thoughts, certainly. But about the damn Gamma / Carter Foundation debacle. There was no one to tell of his thoughts on Abby. No one who would really understand. She was... well, at one time he thought SHE was the tornado. But it was more complicated than that.
Paying for his food at the cashier station, he absentmindedly recited, "Soup, uh, Chicken Noodle. A sandwich and, uh, pie. Pie, uh, and... coffee..." Pie and Coffee. John and Abby. He missed her. They'd made a shambles of their relationship; their friendship. Slowly making his way out of the now nearly deserted cafeteria, he thought about what drew him to her. Her life was chaos, sure; she pushed him away, yes... But she pushed in a way that made him know she really wanted him to stay. Or so he thought. Maybe he didn't really know her at all.
For him, though, being drawn to Abby was like blinking. He didn't think about it -he just did it. She was complicated, he knew that. He could spend the rest of his life trying to figure her out and would only touch the tip of the iceberg. But he knew, deep in his bones, why he was pulled, irresistably, in her direction. Her inauspicious entry into his life, her redemptive betrayal of his addiction to his mentors had become the fulcrum point of his life.
Before Addiction, After Addiction was simplistic. For him, it was the whole of it; from Sobrieki's knife twisting deep in his back, helplessly watching as Lucy died in front of his eyes, the pull of drugs, dragging him into the abyss, Abby's having the guts to "narc" on him, to see that he got help. That was it. Abby -screwed up, self-defeating, alcoholic, casualty of her mother's illness; sweet, sorrowful Abby had done for him what she couldn't do for herself. She was inside him just as deeply as that knife had been, paring away all the excess crap; challenging him to get on with it! Live. Accept the simplest hypothesis. Sometimes shit happens, Carter, he heard her voice in his head, So, deal with it; take action. Even if, sometimes, it wasn't the right action...
In his most private mind, when Carter's thoughts on Abby were not very positive, he thought of her as that proverbial two-edged sword. She cut into him deeply. She challenged him to the point of distraction. She twisted him with pain. She confused him to no end, and made him wonder -sometimes daily- if she was worth the trouble.
But, she also saved his life. Took on sponsorship of him against her better judgement because he prevailed upon her. Maybe at a bad time in her life, when she shouldn't have sponsored anyone, much less him. She was his friend, then his lover -probably against her better judgement, as well. And when she needed him, he tried. His most valiant effort. But they were at cross purposes. She wanted him for security; he was safe. But he wanted her to be "The One."
Yep. This is what was really bothering him. Stuff he couldn't discuss with anyone, least of all Kerry. These were things that, if they were happening with someone else, he would discuss them with Abby.
Things were really screwed up, now. Probably beyond repair.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Ramblings:
I've been gone for a while and I may have lost you, gentle readers... I hope not. This one was tough. I needed to get some exposition in, and that's not an easy task. Especially if you're trying not to make one character look like a mere sounding board for another! **wink** This is going somewhere, I promise. Please stick with me.