Naruto merrily skipped down the path towards the lake, bucket swinging from his hand. He travelled down the path for a few moments, then the path turned into a trail. He skipped down the trail until the trees stopped. A large lake surrounded by a bit of a gravely beach, trees, and mountains lay before him.
Naruto let out a loud "Woooow!" as he gazed around the area in awe, quickly forgetting his duty to collect water. He shouted out at the top of his lungs and jumped into the lake with all his clothes still on, laughing and splashing around in the water.
Naruto gasped as he saw something move in the water. "FISH!" he shouted out loudly as he lunged at the fish, only to miss it.
"Damn! Missed it. Ooh! Another one!"
And so Naruto continued diving and jumping round in the water, trying to catch a fish that he would never catch.
Back at the campsite, Kakashi was still waiting for the water to make the ramen.
"What's taking him so long?" Kakashi wondered aloud.
Sasuke was squatting at the small fire pit, striking matches in an attempt to light a fire. He was not used to using matches, as he generally just used his fire jutsu whenever he needed to light up anything.
"Dammit! Why isn't it working? Stupid camp site, not letting me use my fire-breathing jutsu!"
Sasuke lit match after match, but the fire failed to start. Sasuke began to get rather irritated. "Light, dammit! Catch on fire, you stupid piece of wood!"
Sasuke hit his fist upon the firewood, only to bruise his hand and cry out in pain afterwards. "Stupid piece of crap! Why won't you burn?" Sasuke shouted angrily.
"Sasuke, it's not good to be seen talking to inanimate objects." Kakashi advised.
Sasuke got up, frustrated, and kicked over the pile of wood in the fire pit, only to hurt his toes, as he was wearing his toe-exposing ninja sandals. Sasuke clutched his foot in his hand, cursing under his breath. Sasuke stormed off, or really, hopped off, into his tent.
"It's not good to hit inanimate objects either, Sasuke." Kakashi told the vexed Uchiha.
Sasuke shouted a mixture of colourful cuss words at his sensei.
"It's very impolite to use bad language like that, Sasuke." Kakashi scolded, just pissing off Sasuke even more.
"Kakashi-sensei, shut up!" Sakura shouted.
Back at the lake, Naruto was still goofing off.
"FISH!" Naruto lunged at the fish again, just to miss catching it.He looked up,spotting the bucket he hadleft lying on the shore.
"Oh, that's right! I was supposed to be getting water for ramen. Ramen? Boy, am I ever hungry!"
So slightly ADD Naruto quickly got out of the lake (completely unaware that we was covered in water plants and had a fish flopping in his hair), took the bucket and filled it up with water, that had dirty people and fish and who knows what else swimming and peeing in it...gross. Oh well, they'd be boiling it, so the germs would be boiled away. But they would probably use it for drinking water as well. Oh dear...too bad poor Naruto didn't think about all of this.
So Naruto took his water and heaved it back to the campsite, nearly tripping and spilling it on the way, but he was lucky. He didn't spill all the water, because he has main character power. So he's special.
"I'm baaaack!" Naruto announced, grinning ear to ear.
Kakashi stared at Naruto, who was dripping wet, covered in water plants and had the fish still flopping in his hair. "What the bloody hell have you been doing, Naruto?"Kakashi asked, puzzled by Naruto's state.
"Kakashi-sensei, you hypocrite! You were just saying how one shouldn't use bad language!" Sakura cried angrily.
"You're right Sakura, but you've got to check out Naruto's lake-wear here." Kakashi chuckled as he grabbed the fish off Naruto's head. "Well, this will make a good dinner." hesaid thoughtfully as helooked at the fish he was holding.
"But we're having ramen for dinner!" Naruto reminded him.
"Yes, you guys are. But I think I'll stick with the fish." Kakashi replied.
So Kakashi took a sharpened stick, butchered the poor still-flopping fish, lit a fire at the fire pit, and sat down at the campfire to roast it...alive. How cruel.
"Kakashi-sensei, shouldn't you wait until it dies first before you stab it and roast it? It seems kind of cruel." Sakura pointed out.
"It's a cruel world out there, Sakura. Welcome to the world of shinobi." Kakashi merely replied. "Besides, it's just a fish."
Sakura gave an involuntary shudder.
Sasuke emerged from tent. "Hey, can I try roasting that fish?" he asked, and then suddenly stared at the fire where the fish was being roasted over.
"Wait! How did you get that fire going?" Sasuke asked.
"With matches, of course." Kakashi replied.
"You mean those damn things actually made fire?" Sasuke said in disbelief.
"Yes."
"How is it...that I couldn't get those simple sticks to make a fire...how can it be..." Sasuke sat down on a fold-up chair and stared into the fire and mumbled on how he couldn't get the fire started before.
"Hey! How do you turn this stove on?" Naruto asked loudly.
"Turn the knob clockwise, and that will turn the gas on." Kakashi instructed.
"Ok! Umm...which way's counter clock-wise?" Naruto asked.
"Naruto, you should really know this by now, you know." Kakashi said exasperatedly, shaking his head.
"Just our luck to have the stupid boy stuck with us!" Sakura huffed. "I'm going to take nap now." she added, heading to the tent.
"So which way is counter clockwise?" Naruto repeated the question in hopes of getting some help.
Sasuke whirled hand around in a clockwise direction. "It's 'this' way, idiot."
"I didn't ask you!" Naruto growled.
But Naruto followed Sasuke's instructions and turned the gas knob around. The stove emitted a hissing sound that signified that it was on.
"Ok, I did it, but now what? There's still no fire!" Naruto frowned, expecting more instructions from someone.
Sasuke sighed. "Naruto, ever heard of a match?"
"Oh yeah! I forgot about that!"
Naruto rummaged through the camping box for a few moments and found a box of matches. "Alright! I'm ready to go!"
Naruto struck a match, but what he did not know was that he had left the gas running for a few moments, which is a lot of time for gas to travel around in the air, and it filled up all the air around Naruto. And you all know what that means.
"Naruto, NO!" Kakashi cried out.
But Naruto lowered the match near the cooking stove and there was a loud "Foom!" as the fire blew upwards into Naruto, almost completely burning his eyebrows off.
Naruto screamed. "What the hell? It blew up on me!"
"Here, let me make dinner." Kakashi offered as he handed the fish on a stick to Sasuke. "Sasuke, hold my fish. Please don't eat it, and make sure nothing happens to it." Kakashi ordered.
"What did I do wrong?" Naruto asked.
"You left that gas running while looking for matches, that's what you did wrong. Luckily you jumped out of the fire pretty quickly, so you didn't really get burned much." Kakashi replied. "Just sit down, and don't touch anything."
Slightly smoky and blackened, Naruto sheepishly smiled and sat down while Kakashi made the ramen.
Kakashi lit the stove with no problems, and put the water on, making everything go well, or at least he thought it did. One thing was that Kakashi didn't read the instructions, so he didn't use enough water. He poured in the noodles and mixture, but during the 3-minute wait for the ramen noodles to soften, Kakashi took his book and wandered off to the campfire. Therefore, the 3-minute wait turned into a 10-minute wait instead.
"Kakashi-sensei! I think the water's boiling!" Naruto called out.
And surely enough, the water was boiling...right out of the pot and onto the ground.
"Oh crap!" Kakashi cursed as he ran over to the stove, quickly removed the ramen from the heat. When he peered into the pot, the ramen noodles were half burnt and stuck to the bottom and the noodle broth was almost completely gone, as it had been boiled out. And this children, is why you read the instructions when trying to cook something.
Kakashi took a deep breath. "Ok...I can fix that!"
"Fix what, Kakashi-sensei? Is the ramen ready yet?" Naruto asked.
"Uh...no, not yet." Kakashi replied.
Kakashi put some more water into the pot andtook back his fish (Or what was left of it, as Sasuke was eating it despite that Kakashi had told him not to.) So he took back the remaining fish, cut it up into pieces, and threw them into the ramen. Next he took some onions, chopped them up, and threw them into the ramen, since most of the flavouring had been boiled out of it. Oh yeah, and he added some wasabi too for more flavouring.
"There. Hopefully that's ramen-ish enough." Kakashi said to himself.
Naruto didn't see any of this, as he was squatting down on the ground, preoccupied with a squirrel that wandered into the campsite and was imitating its each and every move.
Sasuke stared at ramen longingly where the fish had been dropped in.
"Dammit, that fish was good...and now it's ruined." The Uchiha muttered to himself
The Ramen still didn't look quite complete to Kakashi. "Since we're camping, we may as well live off the land."
With that statement said, Kakashi took a fern, pulled it's leaves off, and sprinkled them into the ramen.
Sakura emerged from her tent, after taking a short nap. She looked around the campsite and saw Kakashi, smiling while cooking a heavily smoking pot of ramen, Sasuke staring into the fire, mumbling weird inaudible things, and Naruto crouching on the ground and making squirrel sounds.
Sakura shook her head. "I take a short nap and I come back, and already my team has lost their sanity from this camping trip."
"Dinner time!" Kakashi announced. He looked down at Naruto crouching on the ground. "Naruto, get those things out of your mouth!"
Naruto looked up, muffling an "Mmph?" in reply before he spat out the acorns andnuts that he had stuffed into his mouth earlier.
Sasuke rose from the campfire, scaring Naruto's squirrel friend off and sat down at the picnic table. Naruto and Sakura sat down as Kakashi split up the ramen into three bowls for them.
"Alright, eat up kids." Kakashi smiled.
Naruto stared into his ramen bowl.
"...You burnt it!"
"Eww..." Sakura cringed as she looked at the ramen.
"You destroyed my fish. Thanks a lot." Sasuke grumbled.
"That was my fish, Sasuke." Kakashi corrected the sulky genin. "And you can't say that the ramen's gross until you've tried it. I'm sure it tastes great!"
"They why don't you eat it?" Sasuke challenged.
"Well...err..." Kakashi was lost on what to say. "I'm not hungry right now." he finished lamely.
"You're so bad at cooking that you can't even eat your own cooking!" Naruto scoffed.
"They call you one of Konoha's greatest shinobi, yet you can't even overcome the small feat of cooking a simple dinner? How do you survive on your own!" Sakura exclaimed partially in disbelief and partially in shame.
"Hey, I tried. Give me credit for that." Kakashi defended.
"I'm not eating it!" Naruto frowned as he crossed his arms.
"Alright then. You can go hungry." Kakashi replied.
"Fine! I will!"
Sasuke was the only one brave enough to try the ramen. He actually ate the whole bowl. The freak.
"The fish ramen didn't actually taste that bad." Sasuke commented.
"Well, I'm glad that somebody here appreciates my cooking." Kakashi said as he smiled.
"I have tasted better though." Sasuke added, wiping the smile off ofthe silver-haired man's face.
Naruto gaped at Kakashi. "You put a FISH in it? Sensei, what kind of a cook are you?"
"A very bad one, obviously." Kakashi replied.
"No kidding!" Sakura added, grimicing at the ramen in her bowl again.
Sasuke went to sit down by the burnt-out campfire.
"Hey sensei? Are we still going to have our campfire?" Sakura asked.
"Oh yeah! We still have to sing songs, and roast marshmallows, and make hot chocolate!" Naruto exclaimed as he remembered.
"Ah, yes. Good plan" Kakashi nodded and smiled. "I'll start on the hot chocolate right now."
"NO!" Sakura and Naruto cried.
"Hmm? But didn't you just say you wanted-" Kakashi started.
Sakura interrupted, "Oh yes! But, how about I make it instead, ok?"
Naruto nodded his head vigorously. "Yeah! Yeah! You just go relax and read that porn book of yours. We'll take care of everything!"
Kakashi frowned at the term, "porn book", but he put that aside. "Alright then, but let me at least light the stove for you. I don't want another one of you guys going up in flames."
So Kakashi lit the stove while Naruto wandered over to the campfire where Sasuke was sitting. He noticed something sharp and shiny lying among the small log pile. He picked it up to discover that it was an axe.
"Ooh! A firewood chopper!" Naruto grinned. He took a piece of firewood and stood it up on its side.
"Alright! Time to get chopping!"Naruto swung the axe above his head and struck at the piece of firewood, cracking it.
"Don't chop yourself, idiot." Sasuke smirked.
"Ha! Like I'd do such a thing! Only an idiot would be stupid enough to do that!" Naruto replied back at Sasuke.
Naruto swung the axe high again to bring it down upon the wood, but this time it didn't hit the wood.
"OH MY GOD! MY LEG!" Naruto screamed out in pain.
"…And he said only an idiot would be stupid enough to do that." Sasuke muttered, shaking his head.
"Naruto, you idiot!" Kakashi cried as he ran over to where Naruto was, the axe stuck in his right leg.
"You're supposed to swing the axe standing with your feet apart, not together! Just great…" Kakashi groaned. "Now we're going to have to pull out of here and get you to a hospital."
"Awww, and just when the camping trip was get fun too!" Sakura moaned.
"Way to ruin the trip, dumb ass." Sasukescolded Naruto.
"But it was an accident!" Naruto moaned as he sobbed.
"Wait." Kakashi said suddenly. "Maybe we can still stay here. Naruto, hold still so I can get that axe out of your leg.
"It hurts!" Naruto cried.
Kakashi took hold of the axe and pulled it out.
Naruto screamed very loudly. "Kakashi-sensei, are you trying to kill me, you-"
Blood splattered onto Sasuke.
"Watch where you spill that blood!" Sasuke said irritably.
"Kakashi-sensei, now he's just going bleed even more!" Sakura cried.
"Watch and learn, Sakura." Kakashi told the pink-haired kunoichi.
And surely enough, as Kakashi had predicted, Naruto's Kyuubi powers started healing his leg.
Naruto watched himself heal. "So that still works here! How come?"
"Don't ask questions. It doesn't make sense to me either." Kakashi replied.
"How did he do that?" Sakura asked in disbelief, still not knowing about Naruto's Kyuubi powers.
"I'm magic!" Naruto grinned. That answer obviously didn't satisfy Sakura, but she prodded no further.
"Hey! I feel better now! Let's have a campfire now!" Naruto grinned as he hopped back up on his feet. "Hey Sakura-chan! Is the hot chocolate almost ready?"
"Less than five minutes ago, he was screaming his head off in pain. And now he wants hot chocolate? That idiot never fails to amaze me." Sasuke muttered to himself.
To be continued...
ADD stands for Attention Deflect Disorder. A type of illness where one is easily distracted from their original task. (I don't know if I actually needed to explain that, but whatever. Just in case anyone reading this didn't know what ADD was.)
All of you review if you wish to see the next chapter. C'mon, help me out here guys! Please?