Because I love you guys all so much, I decided to upload this chapter earlier than I planned, as I found a computer where I'm staying, so no more 1 week wait for you guys! Also, thanks a lot for all of your reviews guys.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this before the last few chapters that this messed-up fanfic now has over 100 reviews. That's the most reviews I've ever gotten for a fanfic, so thanks a lot guys! (I really mean it. :D) Kind of hard for me to believe that something this odd has that many reviews so far. Keep up the great reviews, and hope you all enjoy this messed-up chapter!
Disclaimer: Shadow Dragon Boss does not own Naruto. This makes Shadow Dragon Boss sad...
Naruto laughed mischieveously as Kakashi disappeared out of sight.
"This is gonna be great! I'm gonna go swim in the lake, hike up that weird dangerous moutain, climb a tree, pull pranks, tease snakes, sink the canoe, act like a squirrel, eat a pinecone, and sleep with the wolves! And there's no adult to stop me from doing whatever the hell I wanna do!
"Hey! Did you forget about me? I can still stop you from doing whatever the hell you want to do!" Sakura reminded him.
"Yeah, whatever. I'm gonna go draw on Sasuke's face now. Later!" Naruto replied as he ran off to the tent.
Sakura grabbed Naruto by the collar of his jacket, stopping him his tracks.
"We're in a bad situation right now! It's just us three kids against the wildreness with no adults to help us survive anymore! We have to get our own food and fend off bears, raccoons and other dangerous things alone! How can you be talking about ridiculous things such as acting like a rodent and climbing trees?" Sakura cried, ready to have a fit.
"But we're not kids." Naruto cut in. "We're preteens!"
"That's not the point!" Sakura shouted in frustrastion.
"But it is!" Naruto contradicted. "We can fend for ourselves, no problem! We're ninjas! Believe it!"
"You keep forgetting that we don't have our jutsus to protect ourselves anymore!" Sakura said, shaking her fist.
"Screw jutsus! I can survive just fine on my own without them! Believe it!" Naruto shot back confidently. "Now if you're done shouting at me, I'm going to go to the lake now.
Naruto bolted out of the campsite and down the trail towards the lake before Sakura could stop him.
"You could at least take the fishing rod with you so you can get some food while you're goofing off in the water!" Sakura shouted after him, but it wasn't like Naruto would pay any attention.
"Stupid boy...eating pinecones and sleeping with the wolves! Who does he think he is! That wild boy out of the 'Jungle Book'?" Sakura ranted, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Shut up already!" Came Sasuke's groggy and angry shout from the tent.
Naruto made his way down to the lake and jumped into the water, this time wearing his swimtrunks instead of "smartly" jumping in with his clothes like he did the day before. He swam around, rode on floating logs, harassed fish, and just did odd things that only Naruto would do in a lake.
Then Naruto spotted a small, old, two-person row boat on the shore of the lake.
"Cool! A boat!" Naruto cried, swimming back to the shore of the lake and approaching the boat, amazed at how he had missed seeing it when he first came to the lake. And then Naruto did the "smart" thing: Despite the fact that the boat was clearly not his, Naruto pushed the boat out to the edge of the lake and hopped in it, jumping with joy.
"Cool! I've got my own boat now!" Naruto gleamed. "That means I can give it a name! People always name their boats, right?"
Naruto got out of the boat, dragged it partially up onto the shore, and ran over to an old burnt out campfire. Naruto took a piece of charcoal from the burnt pile to write on the boat.
Naruto ran back to the boat and looked at it for a moment before speaking out loud. "I shall name you...the 'Naruto Boat' boat!"
Writing the name messily with the charcoal and adding a few badly drawn pictures to the side of the boat, the 'Naruto Boat' boat was now ready to set sail.
As the wind blew, Naruto ran back to the dead campfire to put his charcoal piece back. Naruto then suddenly spotted something moving in the tall grass. Curious (And just plain stupid), Naruto chased after the 'thing' in the grass, forgetting about riding in the boat momentarily.
Naruto pounced onto the 'thing' to find that it was a snake. "Alright! We're having snake for supper tonight!" Naruto cheered, clearly sick of eating only squirrels and fish already.
The peeved snake bit Naruto on the thumb, making Naruto yelp and let go of the captive snake, setting it free to slither away into the grass. Luckily for Naruto, it wasn't a poisonous snake.
"Damn...there goes dinner." Naruto grumbled. "Ah well, I don't think that snakes are supposed to taste very good anyways. At least I can still play with the boat!"
Naruto grinned as he stood back up, turning around to...
...find that the boat had been blown away from the shore and was already blown halfway across the lake.
"Oh crap! No! Come back!" Naruto cried frantically.
"What the hell have yeh done with mah boat?" An angry and raspy shout came from the trail.
Naruto turned around, facing the trail to see a grubby and crazy old man with his equally grubby and crazy old dog.
"Woah! It's the crazy old hobo-man from the campsite 2 days ago!" Naruto cried, pointing at the man.
"Yeh damn kid! Yeh blew away mah means of transportation!" The crazy old man raged.
"Well, you just left your boat sitting here!" Naruto accused.
As the crazy old man peered out towards his boat, his gaze widened. "You drew all over it!"
"Well, duh! You don't leave your pocessions lying around for other people to do stuff with them!" Naruto scolded.
"Well no one else has ever come here fer years, so I can leave my stuff lyin' here! But then you came along, yeh little bastard! Ya ruined mah boat, just like that other damn stupid ninja kid did from some 20 or so years ago. That one freakin' drowned mah pevious boat!" The crazy old man spat.
"Well maybe if you kept it where you lived instead of leaving it on the shore, then it wouldn't get taken, you ugly old idiot!" Naruto shouted back.
The crazy old man let out some deranged sound that was between and roar and a shout and charged at Naruto, followed by his dog.
"Aaaah! Sakura-chan! Sasuke! Help! There's a deranged old man trying to kill me!" Naruto cried as he ran away form the lake and up the trail.
As Naruto was much younger and more healthy than the crazy old geezer, he out ran him when he bolted up the trail. Sakura was just heading down to lake with the fishing rod when Naruto crashed into her
"Hey! Watch where you're going, dammit!" Sakura shouted angrily.
"Sakura-chan! Help me! There's a crazy old man with his equally crazy old dog chasing me down!" Naruto cried.
"Naruto, what did you do now?" Sakura demanded.
"I was only playing with his boat that I found lying on the shore!" Naruto defended.
Sakura hit Naruto on the head. Hard. "You idiot! You don't touch other people's things! Even a 5-year old knows that!"
"But I didn't know it was his! You gotta help me, Sakura-chan! He's creepy!"" Naruto wailed as he burst into hysterical tears, as though there was nothing more dreadful to him in the ninja world than facing a crazy old homocidal geezer...except maybe being trapped in an outhouse.
The crazy old man was hobbling up the path, pointing at Naruto.
"I'll get yooooooouuuuu!" The old crazy man called out menacingly.
"That is creepy!" Sakura squeaked, shaking.
Just when the crazy old man was a few feet infront of Sakura and Naruto, he suddenly stopped, wheezing and coughing, unable to run any further. He pointed his knarly finger at Naruto and Sakura.
"I'll never forget yeh, 'stupid blonde one' or yer little pink-haired girlfriend either!" The crazy old man growled.
"Girlfriend? WHAT!" Sakura shouted in rage.
"Shhh! Don't contradict him! It'll make him mad!" Naruto warned.
"I will get you one of these days when you least expect it! I will! I wiiiiillll!" The crazy old man wheezed and coughed as he hobbled back towards his campsite with his old flea-bitten mutt following at his heels.
"See what I mean?" Naruto cried at Sakura once the old hobo was out of earshot.
"...That was scary!" Whimpered Sakura. "If he comes to kill us in our sleep tonight, I'm blaming this all on you, Naruto!"
"I'm cold!" Naruto complained.
"Well, duh! You were just swimming in the lake, and you're still in your swimming trunks. Go back to the lake and get your clothes!" Sakura told him.
Sakura and Naruto headed back to the lake to get Naruto's clothes. With that done, Naruto headed back to the campsite, leaving Sakura to fish for their lunch.
Sakura looked out towards the middle of the lake where the crazy old man's boat was floating, unable to return to shore. Sakura shook her head.
"Oh, Naruto, you moron..."
To be continued...
Hopefully you understood the weird hillbilly-ish accent I gave the crazy old man. Expect more appearances from him. (Laughs evily) Anyhoo, if you guys could review, it would make my day complete. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!