VATTENTION ATTENTION! THIS IS NOT A SELF INSERT!
And also for the disclaimer please check the first chapter thank you.
On to the Story!
"So Kasumi, chaos turns you on?" Nabiki inquired.
Kasumi, for her part, got over her shyness and decided to shock everyone. Thus she put her hand on her cheek tilted her head cutely and gave an innocent smile as she said, "Oh my, yes imouto. Haven't you ever wondered why, Ranma, who is my husband, has never done any thing to resolve his fiancée situation, until recently?" Her face shifted to serious here, " Even though it appeared to bring him pain. Or how he falls asleep in Class and still get passing grades? Come on little sister, he's not really an idiot. Anyone who soaks up techniques like he does has to be smart enough to know that there is no shame in walking away from a situation his father is responsible for. And he most certainly isn't a masochist. He's never once brought anything resembling pain up in our little games.(although I wouldn't mind being spanked)" Here Kasumi sweet maybe- not- so-innocent Kasumi scoffed "Come on Nabiki-chan use your head."
"Well that actually makes sense. Now that I Think about it." Nabiki said.
"Wait-wait-wait wait. Time-out," Ukyo said putting her hands into a "T" symbol. "Did you say husband?" she inquired.
"Yes, what else would Akane be a witness to?" Kasumi responded innocently flashing her green and gold weding wing. "It is improper to have sex before marriage after all."
Ukyo did a fair impression of a fish.
"I keep a picture of the day in my locket." Kasumi smiled and took a locket out from underneath her blouse to show everyone a picture of her in a western wedding dress and Ranma in a red and black tuxedo in a rather… intense make out session one side. There was a picture on the other side but her thumb was covering it.
The fathers were dancing a dance best not described for my writing convenience.
"The Schools will be Joined!" They both Shouted in Joy.
This was interrupted by the strange caramel skinned woman from before developing a tick mark which only increased when they started to pull out the sake. She only moved into action when the idiots… ahem… fathers started making plans for the wedding, totally ignoring what Kasumi just said. She preceded to kick both fathers in the gut. Then whacked them over the head with the staff part of a long scepter that seemed to double as a glaive that she pulled from… somewhere.
"Kono baka no aho no ahobaka! Omaetachi kittenai yo desu ka!(1) Their already married! Look. At. Her. Hand!" She punctuated each sentence with a another whack on the head. "your schools are already joined you baka.(2)"#₩She whacked them again for good measure.
Genma, who had somehow managed to acquire hot water and change back, had finally had Enough of this treatment. So he proceeded to perform the Saotome Secret Technique passed down three generations: Foolish Monkey Chews Own Foot! " Who do you think you are, woman? Barging in here like you own the place and then hitting your host and his guest over the head, repeatedly. Why Back in my day…"
Genma was interrupted by a phrase no one expected for the woman who uttered it looked not a day over 25. "Respect your elders Boy! Back in your day I was already well over 1000 times older than Kuhl Ohn and I'm not even sure of that! Just because I look twenty five doesn't mean I am." the silver, black and blue haired woman exclaimed pointing at the Amazon Matriarch. She then used her foot to make crater in the wall across the room…with Genma's body. The pudgy …ahem…hulky martial artist was not going to be getting up for a while.
Getting back to the plot…
The rest of the NWC and the sole non-combatant used this moment of… entertainment? Meh, good enough. To get over their shock.
"I am so glad I don't have to clean that up any more!" Kasumi bubbled happily.
Soun and Nabiki paled.
Soun because his maid…ahem… beloved daughter wouldn't be there to take care of him any more and he realized that he would actually have to get a Job because the City Council didn't pay enough for him to pay the bills without Kasumi's income, which he hasn't been able to touch at all lately.
Nabiki paled because she realized that they were going to have get a maid, or she would have to learn how to cook and clean. Frankly the maid was cheaper. It was that or Plan B. She would she which was cheaper later.
"So Too Too nice girl Kasumi if Destruction so pleseable why you leave?" Shampoo said.
"Shan Pu please speak properly." this was said by none other than…(A/N: wait for it) Ranma.
"Gomen Ranma-niisan" Shampoo stated in proper Japanese. Everyone was staring at Shampoo like she has grown a second head. "What? Underestimation is a weapon of many warriors. And Ranma has been adopted into the Amazon tribe as my brother. And Mu Tsu defeated me yesterday in Honorable Marriage Combat. Haven't you all wondered why he hasn't attacked Ranma yet and has that look on his face?" Shampoo pointed out incredulously what she thought was obvious. She pointed to Mousse who was Grinning like he had just found the greatest treasure in the world. And he probably did. There is nothing greater Love being returned by the one you Love. That's what he thought anyway. Every one blinked at him then shrugged. It was about time he found some Happiness.
"Any way as much as I have enjoyed the… intimate aftermath of the destruction you sillies leave behind… mmm…Aftermath…" Kasumi's eyes glazed over for a second. She shook her head 'That train of thought can wait for later but still… Mm… Ranma.' " Anyways: Everyone There are four reasons why we're leaving. All are directly related to each other. One: all the energy Ran-Ran-koi uses for fighting you can be put to better use. Two: Ranma was not getting enough sleep at night because we had to keep our marriage a secret. And Three, this is the most important one,:" here Kasumi slammed her hand down on the table so hard not only did the table break but the shock wave created a small crater beneath it, "I'm tired of not waking up next to my husband and I WANT MY MORNING NOOKIE DARN IT!" said the Nerima no Tenshi.
Everyone was shocked by this particular outburst. That is until Ranma spoke up.
"Seriously, why did you think I was falling asleep in school?" Ranma asked Nabiki. "Your sister seriously wears me out."
"Mmm…and you have quite the endurance Ranma," Kasumi purred, " You can go hours on hours with out stopping, according to the books I read your recovery rate is amazing and," Kasumi paused to sigh in contentment, "You really live up to your name. I'm so glad you're my only," Kasumi proceeded to glomp on Ranma, "MY Stallion!"
Kasumi and Ranma looked at each other hungrily. Then without any warning ran out of the Dojo and into the House and up to Kasumi's Room.
No, one noticed that they hadn't mentioned the fourth.
"Well, now that that is out of the way, would someone please specifically ask for my name and reason for coming here?" the mysterious woman asked.
Happosai was so in awe of the woman's presence in front of him he had been the last to come out of his stupor. Cologne wasn't that far ahead. When they came out of it, they shocked everyone there and bowed.
"Lady of the Tao will you please tell us your name and for what reason you would. Grace us with your presence?"
"Raise Your Heads Children," she said in a gentle but commanding voice, " I do so dislike formality. I shall tell you my name." She despite her appearance managed to give them a grandmotherly smile. " I have went by many names in the past but, you, all of you," she said looking around the room and smiling gently, "may call me Balancia."
"The reason I'm here is actually because of a little agreement I made with your Fathers. You see, the reincarnation of my daughter TerraBelle was to marry Ranma or the Reincarnation of my son-in-law Muryouzu. This contract shall be placed in value above all others and can not be escaped unless the children involved wish it." She said pulling a contract from the pocket of her pink and lavender knee length dress and presenting it to the Fathers with a smirk. Before the Fathers could fully read through the contract, she said, "Your in luck, however, they're already married." she said clasping her hands together happily." And from the sound of it it's working out very well!" she said while thinking 'At last, another grandchild!'
In the silence that proceeded you could hear words. Words like:
"Oh, My!"
"Oh Yes!"
"Motto Motto"
"Harder! Harder, Ran-Ran-koi!
"Right there!"
"I said deeper, Damn it!"
And the ever popular:
"Mm! It's so Fucking Good!"
All of these outbursts came from Kasumi's voice.
Back to the foreground.
"My, My it sounds like the children are having fun. Who Knew TerraBelle could be so boisterous in bed." Balancia said.
"My, it certainly does. I hope they give us another grandchild soon!" said the only one of the main cast, except for the two loonies, who wasn't at this meeting because she'd already known about everything. Her son had invited her to the wedding after all. Yes folks everyone's favorite…eccentric, yeah that's it, sword wielding woman, Nodoka Saotome, walked in.
A/N: 1) You stupid Idiotic FOOLS! Didn't you listen?
2) I should probably mention Balancia doesn't like people so wrapped up in their fantasies, minds, plots, and plans to listen to the others or see the obvious facts before them so yeah the Kunos if they ever cross paths will be on her shit list. She's really a sweet woman; she just dislikes idiots with a passion.