Chapter 3

He ran to the entrance of the library and scanned the hall. The lighting had dimmed and was much lower than its usual glow, but he had no trouble spotting the red hair that was quickly scurrying down the hallway. He yelled for her to wait but she just continued at a faster pace and turned the corner. James suddenly broke out into a sprint. He didn't know why. And he most certainly had no idea what he was going to say to her. He just felt like if he didn't catch up with her, she was going to slip through his fingers forever. She wouldn't tutor him anymore and she would avoid him the hallway. She wouldn't speak another word to him no matter how hard he tried. In short, all communication would be cut off from the first girl he had enjoyed being around for longer than a week. All because he blurted out stupid words and scared her witless. He cursed himself at his own stupidity and her own innocence and inability to handle any sort of uncomfortable situation.

As he caught up to her, he grabbed her arm and turned her towards him. He looked at her for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say. 'Careful James. The wrong words could cause more damage. Be very careful.' He cautioned himself as he looked at her heaving chest and brilliant hair. God, she was beautiful. But he couldn't help but notice that she wouldn't even hold his gaze. She refused to look him in the eye.

"Look James, I don't kn…"

"Lily, I'm sorry for that. It's just… it's just that I think you interpreted that in the wrong way."

"No, no, James. I'm pretty sure I got the message. You think I'm… Well forget what I am."

"No Lily. I didn't mean it like. Well actually I kind of did but it came out wrong. You see, I've kind of had a small, tiny, minute crush on you over the last few months and it was driving me insane not telling you. Sooo… I guess I'm telling you."

He fidgeted slightly as he waited for a response for the gorgeous green eyed girl, who simply stood there with her mouth hanging open slightly. Her mouth closed slowly and she finally spoke.

"I, uh, I don't really know what to say to that."

That's all she said. He was hoping for more but at least she hadn't turned and run down the hallway screaming. He smiled slightly and she just continued to stare at him oddly, as if he were a leper.

"Look Lily, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. But it seems I've already done that. I just hope that you'll keep tutoring me because I desperately need your help. You've actually helped me a lot. It's because of you that I'm passing."

She looked at her feet and then spoke softly, too softly for James to hear.

"What's that? I didn't quite hear you."

"I said I'd still tutor you. I would never let this get in the way of our strictly tutor-student relationship."

"Well can't we have a friendship as well?" He smiled at her, with his pouty eyes, and for once she returned in with ease.

"Maybe. I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask."

There was an awkward moment of silence before Lily spoke.

"Well goodnight James."

"Goodnight Lily."

He smiled and she laughed slightly, making James' stomach flip.

"Um, you're going to need to let go of my arm."

He looked down and realized he had been gently holding onto her arm this entire time.

"Oh, of course. Sorry about that." He smiled sheepishly as he watched her walk away. He watched her swaying hips and was glad Lily couldn't see just what her hips did to him.

He turned and walked back to his own dormitories, taking a different route so as to allow no intrusion upon his thoughts. Was he happy about what just happened? He really shouldn't be but he couldn't help but feel giddy. He felt happier than he had ever felt after rising out of someone else's bed or coming out of a broom closet with tousled hair. And why? Because she was still going to tutor him? Or maybe because she would consider being his friend? Either way, he had no real reason to be jumping with joy. On the contrary, he should be slightly upset. For now she knew and this would only cause awkward moments and more concentration on the book at hand instead of James. He had in fact only embarrassed himself and had made no improvements on their "relationship". He had told her how he felt and been flat out rejected.

But James ignored these pessimistic thoughts and was almost skipping down the hallway, relishing in the idea of more awkward moments for him to be close to an uncomfortable Lily.

The next day he arose before the rest of his roommates and was the first to take a shower, whistling loudly every step of the way. He came out of the shower to see two very grumpy boys standing by the sink.

"Good morning Mooney! Padfoot! How are you two this fine morning?"

"Not as fine as you seem to be," barked Sirius.

"Oh and why not?"

"Maybe your incessant whistling, hmmm? Perhaps that caused us to be a little pissy!" Remus scowled at him.

"Yeah, Mooney's right. That whistling woke me up faster than any curse could have. I suggest you don't do that from now on unless you wish to suffer the consequences that my nickname can ensue."

James smiled as he walked to the sink and lathered his face. Both of the aggravated boys gave him a curious look and Remus was the first to question the odd behavior.

"So any morning wood today?"

James dropped his head and chuckled. "Yes, in fact there was. Hence the cold shower. It was the same dream and I loved every moment of it."

"I have never seen a wet dream make you so happy."

"Well that's not really the reason. I sort of told Lily last night that I liked her."

Remus and Sirius looked at James and then one another with shocked expressions playing across their faces.

Both spoke the same word, "What?"

"Well yeah, it kind of slipped out and she freaked out a little but I think it's fine now."

"What?"

"She's still going to tutor me and she's actually considering being my friend! Isn't that great? Everything seems to be going just swimmingly."

"I'm sorry but let me repeat once more was Remus and I have now asked twice. What?"

James turned to the two and the look they had on their faces was a mixture of shock and disgust.

James was now the one to ask, "What?"

"Did we hear you say you told her you liked her?"

"Yeah. What's the big deal? I've confronted plenty of girls about my feelings for them when my boyish charm flies right over their heads."

"Oh yes, there's no arguing there. But in the past I believe it was more along the lines of, 'You are so sexy right now. I would love to see you between my sheets.' Or perhaps, 'I can't hold it in any longer; I want you right here, right now.' It always been one of those cheesy lines that seem to work only for you."

"Yeah, I've always wondered how he does that," Remus said offhandedly.

Sirius turned to him. "I think it's in the way he says it. Something to do with the huskiness and whispering in the ear."

"Oh I always thought it was the hair ruffling thing that was happening simultaneously."

James couldn't believe they were talking about this as if he weren't right here. He was just about to tell them the secret when Sirius broke in.

"Hmmm, that could be it. Maybe the hand stroking the arm and the smile. Anyways back to the question at hand."

"Yes?"

"Mate, you didn't tell her you wanted to fuck her; you told her you liked her."

"Yeah so?"

"So? So? I don't believe any of us have spoken those words. At least not in sincerity."

"Well, it just came out and it felt right so maybe I actually mean it."

He continued to shave but turned when the silence spanned for almost a minute. He saw his two best friends with completely blank expressions. It was Sirius who finally broke the silence.

"Who are you and where is the man I knew to be James Potter?"

He finished shaving and slipped past them into their room, sighing loudly. He quickly dressed and headed towards the door.

"Hey aren't you going to answer us?"

He turned as he reached the door and scoffed quietly.

"Guys, I am the same guy I've always been. The same one that bewitched Snape's wand to smack him across the ass every minute. The same one that had both of the Chasey sisters at the same time. You really have no need to worry. I've just got a bigger project this time. One that's a bit more challenging."

He turned and ran down the stairs. He was out of the common room before he heard

Sirius yell, "Be sure not to bet too much on this one challenge mate!"

As James reached the Great Hall, he slowed to a walk and caught his breath. He tousled his hair out of habit and sauntered towards the Gryffindor table. He scanned it and landed upon the object of his affection. He suddenly stopped. Had he forgotten the way his stomach twitched when he saw her? Could he not remember how her voice made his squeak and stutter? Well he remembered it now, as all his previous behavior flooded back into him and he became a jumble of nerves. Why had he been able to speak clearly the night before? Maybe it was the rush of the moment or the thought of never having the chance to kiss her unless he stopped her from running away scared. Either way his walk became much less confident and he slid onto his seat, not even able to look at her. He buried himself in his eggs and try to act as if he wasn't there.

He cursed to himself. 'What had you expected moron? Did you expect to just walk over to her and flirt with her like you have done with every other girl? Did you expect to suddenly retrieve the charm that you had been missing for months whenever you're around her?' Well, in actuality, he had. And he could see now that wasn't going to happen. The truth of the matter was that Lily wasn't every other girl and he couldn't just act as if she was. No, this was going to take some getting used to. It was as if he was starting all over, learning the rules of the game as a first year. But the difference was that this game was special only to Lily Evans. He knew however that he would learn Lily's game and conquer it.

Thankfully, she had her face buried in a book and had not yet noticed him. He had to do something. He racked his brain for something to talk to her about. Quidditch?

No, she didn't care about Quidditch.

What about Snape? God, he is such a loser.

No! That was even worse than Quidditch. She cared for him like a sick puppy.

All he could come up with was tutoring and in reality, that's all there was. James had never talked to Lily about anything else. So to show his proper student-tutor relationship, he would ask her when they would meet next. He scooted closer until he was sitting directly across from her. He coughed quietly but she was obviously so engrossed in the book that she had no time to pay attention to background noise.

He coughed louder and still no response. He finally resorted to speaking to her. 'Oh God, I can only imagine what will come out of my mouth.'

"Excuse me, Lily?"

It cracked! His voice bloody cracked as if he were a scrawny second year! How humiliating! But she didn't seem to notice because she looked up and smiled nervously at him before looking down at her plate. She seemed as nervous as he did.

"Oh, hello James."

"Hi Lily. I was, uh, just wondering if we could meet again tomorrow night."

She gave him skeptical look and he quickly added, "In a strictly tutor-student way of course. I have a really hard review on Wednesday and I was wondering if we could go over it."

"Well, as long we are on a strictly professional level, I don't see why not."

"Um, that's great! But it will have to be outside because the review is over astronomy."

"Since when am I tutoring you in Astronomy? I thought you needed help strictly with Charms?"

"Well this new teacher decided to give me some extra homework and it involves the stars and practicing nonverbal spells." Now that he thought about it, he realized just how ridiculous the extra homework Snape had given him had sounded.

"Well alright I'll see you tomorrow night I suppose?

He smiled at the thought of being alone with her again and she blushed from the uncomfortable silence. He only wished she would give him another smile, like the one from the night before.

"Okay well shall we meet in the astronomy tower?"

He raised an eyebrow and smiled. Did she know what students usually did in the Astronomy tower at night? But by the look she was giving him, she had absolutely no clue.

"Er, I think that would be great. How about nine?"

"Wonderful. See you then."

Before he could speak another word to her, she had once again been engulfed by her book and could see nothing but the pages in front of her. He sighed and rose from the table to retrieve his books and get to class on time. Lily was obviously rubbing off on him or else he would have considered the idea of being to class early completely ludicrous.

The day seemed to actually go fairly quickly as his mind was filled on what he could do with Lily in the Astronomy tower tomorrow evening. He was too busy to notice a few girls throwing small notes towards him and letting out soft whispers, trying to gain his attention. He had gotten them before and before he would have read them but he now just swept them onto the floor. He only thought of Lily these days. He was even too distracted to hear them curse him quietly as he ignored their advances.

He crawled into bed that night after going to dinner and doing homework in a daze. He set his head onto his pillow with a smile and as soon as his eyes were shut, he fell into a deep sleep. Perhaps the smile was from the mere thought of Lily or perhaps it was from the dream he knew would occur during the wee hours of the morning. Either way he fell asleep quickly and soon awoke in his dreams.

Yet it wasn't the same dream as always. He was no longer located in the Gryffindor common room but in a place he certainly didn't visit for fun. He was seated at a long mahogany table and the only thing that was illuminating the book in front of him was the soft glow of candles along the walls. He leaned back in the uncomfortable chair and stretched his arms towards the ceiling in efforts to knock the tiredness out of his body. As he came back towards the table he ran a hand through his unruly black hair and glanced around him.

The library was empty and the only sound he heard was his own breathing going in and out and the soft ticking of the clock located on the wall in front of him. It read 1:40 am and prompted by the time, he pulled his head back to the book in front of him.

After slowly flipping through a few pages he sighed and realized this wasn't what he was looking for. It seemed as if he had been looking for something for days. He wasn't sure what but he was certain it could be found in this library. He was growing restless from the effort and tired from the amount of searching, the hours, the days of searching. He had to give up for the night, searching for the unknown. It wasn't something for school, no nothing that pointless. It was something inside of him that was missing. Why he had the urge to look in the library books he wasn't sure but that seemed to be the way dreams worked, doing random actions that somehow felt right.

He rose from his chair and walked slowly to the bookshelf located near the back of the library. He slouched forward and dragged his feet as he felt the urge for sleep through each of his limbs. He was placing the book back in its location on the fifth shelf up when he felt the hot breath against the nape of his neck. A hand grazed against his hip at the same moment and he let out a sigh of relief instead of surprise. He continued to feel the breath on his neck as the hand moved to his abdomen. It slowly went under his shirt and up his tight stomach. The hot gasps on his nape soon turned to soft kisses and small licks near his ear and he let out a soft groan of pleasure. James placed his hand on top of the small creamy fingers that searched his body beneath his shirt as she sucked gently on his earlobe. He turned slowly and was immediately looking into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

His mouth openly slightly and he uttered only one word. "Lily."

She smiled softly and pushed him gently against the bookcase. Both hands moved across his chest and began to once again slowly unbutton his shirt. This seemed to happen in every dream, her constant torturing of him and his reaction this time was no different. His breathing was hitched as he felt the bulge within his pants grow. She had reached the last button on his oxford shirt as her hand grazed his hard rod. She let out a slight gasp and looked up at him, her eyes clouded with lust and her mouth curled into a mischievous smile.

"My, you're as excited as I am."

Lily reached for the buckle of his pants and the only word James could muster was "Y, ye, yeah."

She undid the buckle and the button behind it. Her fingers stroked his crotch before unzipping his zipper little by little. He closed his eyes as he felt his pants drop to the cold stone floor. His breathing was now labored coming out in short grasps as he felt Lily work his boxers over his member. He opened his eyes and just as she was about to place her small hand around him, he spoke.

"No, Lily, wait."

She looked at him, puzzled. He smiled and grasped her shoulders, turning her and pushing her roughly against the bookshelf. There he stood in his naked glory, his muscles glowing under a sheen of sweat reflected by the candle light. She looked him in the eye but her gaze was quickly gone as it traveled down his body, stopping on his huge member. She stared at it, licking her lips and he smiled sheepishly. Her hands reached for it once more but he seized them by the wrists and pinned them above her head.

As he looked at her, her eyes were large with anticipation and shock at his sudden courage. With one hand still grasping her wrists the other moved softly across the top of her skirt. His rough, calloused fingers moved slowly upwards grapping her breast over her sweater. She let out as a gasp as he moved his fingers gently across the underside of her breast and he moved closer, letting his body mold into hers. As his giant rod pushed against her skirt, his lips moved to her neck and began making slow kisses down to her collarbone. Still leaning against her body, he released her wrists and removed his other hand from her breast. She let out a sad whimper but he quickly silenced her.

"Do you promise to keep your hands off of me for a few moments?"

Her eyes were closed as she responded, "Only if you promise to put yours back on me."

"I promise," he whispered huskily.

His hands slowly fell to the hem of her sweater and he pulled it off over her head, her hair sweeping down the front of her. It was now his turn to torment her. He unfastened the buttons of her blouse slowly as he swept her into a deep kiss. As he reached the last one he pushed the shirt slowly off of her shoulders revealing her bare chest. James almost fainted at the sight. He knew it to be a dream- Lily would never walk around the library bra-less. He couldn't stop staring at the two milky mounds and before he could think, his mouth had seized one rosy nipple into his mouth. His tongue moved over it, sucking hard. His other hand moved to her other breast, tweaking her nipple and causing her to gasp. The noise echoed through the silent library and Lily's voice was fixed in James' mind. He grasped her breast hard as he felt her small cold fingers wrap around his cock. It was ecstasy. Her hand began moving in slowly movements, eased by the fluids already found there. His mouth moved to her other breast and his free hand roamed down beneath her skirt. He gasped and he heard her giggle softly.

"I figured wearing no panties would allow for better access."

He fell against her as his rasping breath fell on her neck and his hand combed through the hair between her legs. He was just about to explode from the quick movements of her hands and he was just about the feel the folds between her legs when…

When he awoke in a cold sweat, sitting up straight and his member still swollen. He stood up and was forced to take a cold shower in the middle of the night.