Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews, I certainly like getting those. So wow I churned out this chapter fast right? I don't know, the words were just flowing out of me. Ha, but anyways, I hope you guys like it.

Just giving fair warning that you might not understand James' ranting and ravings in the beginning till the end. Give it a chance though.

Oh and BTW I read all over my first chapters and fixed most of the grammatical mistakes. Some were blatantly obvious so I apologize for those. And sorry for the Harry reference at the beginning of the last chapter. If there are other crazy obvious errors in this chapter. Please let me know. Okay well enjoy!

Chapter 6

If anyone were looking at James at the moment, they certainly would have thought him a strange sight. There he sat in Defense Against the Dark Arts, slumped forward in his seat and gnawing quite purposefully on his quill with a look of complete bafflement spread across his face. He was deep in thought, oblivious to Professor Dumbledore's words of wisdom involving hags. He had bigger fish to fry, or perhaps bigger forces of evil to deal with. His frown momentarily lifted into a grin at his own hilarity. That was certainly what Lily Evans was becoming, a dark art in his life. She was completely unpredictable and completely mental, a force to be reckoned with. But now was no time for jokes, he thought seriously, now is a time for a logical thought process. He furrowed his brow once more, losing himself in the words Lily had said to him only moments earlier.

He mentally scoffed. It certainly was a proposition! One so preposterous, so insulting! Yet… at the same time so enticing. The idea made him want to laugh, and at the same time crawl into bed and weep for hours on end. It was a compliment to receive such a proposition, yet so offensive when he thought of its purpose. It made him stare in awe at her own scheming and plotting, but at the same time he felt a little bit of the Lily he liked so much disappear. So many emotions were battling within him: jealousy and possessiveness versus lust and pride. The list just went on and on.

And the puzzle it weaved in his own head made him dizzy. So Lily had a thing for some mystery man, huh? A man that most certainly wasn't himself. He automatically hated him, unable to imagine that he could be better looking or more charming than James. Not to mention more sexually experienced. It was too much to imagine pure, sweet Lily Evans lusting after someone so intently as to cause her to devise such a completely mischievous and wicked plan. And it certainly added a new dimension to Lily to imagine that she had hopes of seducing someone as if he were simply another drop in the bucket. There was a sudden level of tawdriness to her James could have never imagined. He wished he could only tell Lily how stupid she was being; he wished she could just see him, the perfect guy for her, standing there right under her nose. He was practically waving his arms in front of her, screaming, "Look at me! Look over here!"

Her choice in men made him want to vomit and cry and laugh and shake her and write her off forever, all at the same time. He couldn't help but give up a little hope on her for being so oblivious to his own attempts. How could she be so intelligent yet so senseless? Yet he wanted desperately to please her, to do something for her. He wanted her to be happy and get what she wanted. And at the time he just wanted to be near her, spend time with her, just be completely enveloped by her presence. Lily's plan would definitely involve just those things.

Of course… the proposition certainly had its perks, he couldn't deny that. There were definite advantages to taking part in such a deal; his mind reeled at the possibilities. Yet he felt dirty at the mere thought of it.

Could he allow himself to be so blatantly used and still have some self-respect left over? He wasn't really certain it was possible. He might be sacrificing all his dignity just for the hope that she would finally notice him and see how perfect they were together. Was Lily worth such a sacrifice? But there was also the question of how much dignity he had at the moment; he didn't receive the reputation he had for being dignified. Of course he had had most of the women at Hogwarts and perhaps at times his standards hadn't been as high as they should have been, but this was different. Firstly he would certainly be sober, and he and Lily both knew he would be getting used. Yet he was so honored and proud that she had come to him. He'd like to think she hadn't just chosen any bloke off the street, no, he knew she had been selective. She had studied him for Christ's sake! And he wanted to prove himself to her; his sexual prowess was yet another thing that might catch her attention, something that certainly would be more effective than his stuttering and stumbling.

And to think that she had been planning this all along. That's what really got him, realizing that she had been twelve steps ahead of him the entire time! She really was extremely clever; perhaps she would have made a good Marauder if only she wasn't so shy and studious and perfect. It only raised her higher on the pedestal he had so long ago put her on. But the plan was despicable, even to him. It showed a complete lack of regard for another's emotions and insensitivity that startled James. She obviously didn't blatantly using him. Did she really think she could do this without developing any sort of attachment or feelings for him along the way? He wasn't being arrogant when he thought it'd be hard not to. This was a big deal for girls; he knew from experience.

And that was what made it so enticing. The thought of showing Lily his ways and forming that sort of bond with her made him aroused just thinking about it. It stirred something inside of him like excitement and endearment, something he couldn't put a name to. But what if she really was able to be that insensitive and distant throughout this whole project? What if he agreed to this, hoping for her to suddenly see her feelings for him, and in the end she walked away? What if she walked away into some other guy's bed and she hadn't thought about him in the least? Well he knew what would happen, he would have his heart handed to him in pieces, and the idea of such a thing was uncomfortably foreign. It was him who broke the hearts; he was the heart breaker. Not the other way around.

He recalled the conversation he had had with her minutes before.

"James, I have a proposition for you."

Those words keep rolling through his head. It was unlike any proposition asked of him before. It required much more of him than any other proposition too.

"James, I have a proposition for you."

She looked at him for a moment, as if she was expecting him to understand what she meant. He stared at her with a look of complete bewilderment. He had no idea what was going. He couldn't even remember how he had ended up in this classroom.

"Obviously you have no idea what I'm talking about… So I guess I'll just start from the beginning and try to explain myself."

He continued to look at her as she paced back and forth between the two stone walls of the classroom. She seemed to be searching for the right words as she twiddled her fingers. She finally stopped and looked at him, leaning against a desk directly in front of him.

"Do you remember when I started tutoring you a few months ago?"

He looked at her and was just about to speak when she cut him off.

"Of course you do. You may stink at Charms but you're no cretin. Anyhow, I doubt you really understood how I came to be your tutor… Well, the fact is, is that I chose you."

James frowned and thought back to the degrading moment when he was forced to ask Professor Snape for help. He had muttered the words to him after class one day and seen the smirk spread across that git's face. He had heard what James had said perfectly but he politely asked him to repeat himself and speak up a bit. James had tried to give him his strongest glare as he spoke the words clearly. James could remember the satisfaction in his voice as Snape said he could arrange something.

It had only taken another day or two before Kieran held him back at the end of class and told him that he had found an appropriate tutor for him. A seventh year named Lily. Lily Evans. He muttered his thanks, received some information from him about their first meeting, and rushed out of the room. He didn't really see how Lily could have chosen him though.

"You see, one day Professor Snape announced that you needed a tutor to all of his classes, including my seventh year Charms class. And, well, I was eager to help."

He smiled a bit at the idea of Lily wanting to eagerly help him. But then his smile soon disappeared as he thought about Kieran announcing to all of his students that James Potter needed a tutor. The James Potter needed help in class for once. That guy just couldn't help making little stabs at him whenever he could. What a jerk!

"I had actually been watching you for a few weeks at that time."

He heard Lily utter these words nervously and he was pulled back to the present, his cheeky grin once again appearing across his face. 'Oh really?' he thought.

Before he could thank her for the flattery, she continued rushed.

"I've heard rumors about you James, around school, especially from the girls. I know the reputation you've built for yourself with… the female population at school. And, well, it's that sort of thing I was looking for."

His eyebrows flew up in surprise. She was looking for someone with his skills? Why in the world would this innocent seventh year want someone with a forte in seduction? Maybe she was searching for the perfect guy to lose her virginity to! No that was too perfect to imagine, although he could see Lily being the kind of girl to have a rigorous screening process for such a thing. He didn't have much time to puzzle it out as she continued with her hurried explanation.

"I'd heard that you and Sirius were the… well let's just say the Casanovas at school. But there was something about Sirius that rubbed me wrong. He was too… too boisterous and loud. You were more subtle, more charming. I mean that's what I had heard. And then I even saw it in the few weeks I kept my eye on you. I mean you were quite debonair; I even saw you massage the small of a girl's back at breakfast one morning. She was quite flustered."

Wow she really had been keeping close watch on him. He found it very appealing. Maybe this girl had a thing for him after all! Maybe the past months had just been a confusion of signals! He was getting more and more hopeful with every word she spoke.

"And so I decided that I needed to find out for myself if what I had heard was really true. So that was another reason I wanted to tutor you. It was the perfect opportunity for me to get to know you. I wanted to get close to you and see if it worked. I mean I know I'm not much to look at but I thought at least I was better than some of your other conquests. You didn't seem too picky."

Gosh, that was pretty straightforward. He was slightly offended until he realized she was right, he hadn't been too selective in the past. And he didn't have much time to waste feeling hurt since she had just said she hadn't wanted to get close to him! So she had wanted this just as much as he had? Wow, she did a great job of hiding it.

He was just about to tell her that she was most likely the most beautiful woman he had ever gone after when she continued with her reasoning.

"So I got close to you. And to be completely honest I was a little worried when after months you didn't at all seem like your normal self. I mean you didn't once hit on me it seemed. You were always stuttering and I was worried that you were disgusted by me or something. You never paid attention during our tutoring sessions so I thought you were just completely bored with me, like sitting there with me was like watching paint dry."

Wow did she have it backward. He wanted to tell her just how wrong she was and how he had been distracted during tutoring because of her heavenly body and amazing eyes but it seemed rude to interrupt when she was on such a roll. So he let her continue.

"And then it came to the point a few days ago when we were going to tutor in the library. I figured I'd given it the old college try once more to see if I could get some kind of response from you. And you know what I did? I'm embarrassed even saying it… I even unbuttoned by shirt a couple extra buttons, thinking maybe that would finally catch your attention. I know, I know. It's ridiculous and I even felt kind of pathetic resorting to such things but it finally seemed to work. I think anyways. You remember right? The night you put your hand on mine and told me that I was… amazing."

She fumbled with her skirt hem and looked down in embarrassment. He remembered the night all right. He remembered the cleavage and that third button he figured she had overlooked. He especially remembered thanking God for it and getting a giant erection under the table because of it and scenarios it brought to mind. She was amazing. To think she had done that on purpose too. She had had him wrapped around her finger the entire time and he hadn't even realized it. James had to admit he was impressed.

"Then I panicked. I ran out of there, thinking that was certainly not the kind of response I was expecting. I don't know, now that I think about it I realize it was completely irrational. I had expected a leg stroke under the table or maybe you nibbling on my ear but telling me I was amazing sounded very unlike the James Potter I had heard about. I had never heard you say something like that. But I have to give you credit you did sound sincere."

It had been sincere; she was amazing. But at the same time he couldn't believe how dimwitted she could be. What else could that be mistaken for but simple overwhelming adoration? He was obsessed with her! How could she not see it?

"But then you ran after me and told me you had a crush on me. That took me by surprise certainly since I had been told that admittance of feelings was certainly not in your repertoire. But I thought that maybe it was just some new tactic you were using so I was optimistic that maybe I could try to get you to lust after me."

If only she knew how much he had lusted after her. His cheeks burned at the thought of the dreams he had been having for weeks.

"And I was even more optimistic when you said we had to meet next in the Astronomy tower. I mean I heard, only briefly, of the things that went on up there. The… sexual things. Did you know about that? …Well of course you had to know about that given your reputation. But anyways, I figured it was a good place for you to make a move and I predicted right. You recall the kiss; it was only last night. I hope I was wasn't that forgettable."

Forget it? Was she kidding? He would never forget it, for the rest of his life. The girl needed a serious boost in self-confidence. He stared at her in complete disbelief, her cheeks almost the same shade as her radiant hair.

"Before the kiss I doubted your reputation, wondering if what I had heard had maybe just been an elaborate rumor. But that kiss… it was amazing! I mean you made me actually feel as if there was chemistry between us. I couldn't believe it. Then I thought maybe that the entire stuttering and acting so nervous thing was a tactic too. After that I was sure of it. And I must say bravo James! Quite an elaborate trick."

An elaborate trick? 'I must have been pretty pathetic for someone to think I would do such a thing on purpose,' he thought. But was she serious about that whole chemistry lot? You couldn't just make feelings like that appear no matter how good of a kisser you were. And James was certainly up there. God, she was completely clueless about anything involving love, wasn't she? Damnit, there was that word again. But where was this going? The way she was talking about it made him think he shouldn't be so flattered and worry more about where this was all leading.

"That's why I walked into your room last night. I was planning on offering up this proposition then but I unfortunately walked in on a bit of an… awkward situation. I can't say how sorry I am for interrupting. I hope I didn't hurt your chances with the girl. She was quite lovely… I mean not that I was looking at you guys or anything… But seeing what I did see, I realized that the rumors if anything were understated. I mean she was basically screaming your name!"

He couldn't even look her in the eye anymore. It hurt to think she had walked in and not felt anything but a mild respect for his abilities with women. He wanted her desperately to be jealous or depressed to see such a thing. He had had dreams about her crying for what? She obviously wasn't upset about it. Embarrassed yes, but nowhere near as distraught as he had been before going to bed last night. The realization at how little she cared made his heart go up in his throat. He turned away as she looked at him in awe.

"But I'm sorry, I haven't even told you where this is all going. You see I, I have feelings for a certain someone. And I'm fairly certain they're completely out of my league."

He snorted at the absurdity of it. No one was out of her league. If he wasn't out of her league, than no one was. Who could she see at this school as being too good for her? This conversation was just sending him farther and farther over the edge. Did she realize how much she was tormenting him?

"Excuse me but your laughing at me does not help my situation at all. So that's what my proposition is for. James I was hoping you could help my situation by using your… well your God given abilities if you know what I mean."

He once again was confused. How could his sexual abilities help her snag some guy that wasn't him? And for that matter, why would he want to help her snag someone else? Apparently his confusion was evident because she blushed before launching into her reasoning.

"James, this man is out of my league in more ways than one. He incredibly good looking, charming beyond belief, intelligent, and I just can't stop thinking about him. Firstly I can't even talk to him without acting like a complete idiot. I act much the same way you acted around me, except not on purpose of course, nervous and stuttering because I like him just so much. But not only can I not even talk to him, but also he's much more experienced than me… sexually."

Realization was dawning on him. His eyes were huge and his mouth hung open at the idea that she was proposing.

"By the look on your face I'm guessing you are beginning to understand the proposition. Before I can possibly expect to… be with this man, I need to know the ways if you understand my meaning. So… I was hoping you could help me with that. I was hoping you could tutor me in your area of expertise."

Was she crazy? Was she suggesting what he thought she was suggesting? No, it was too preposterous, too insane! This was the sort of thing a guy dreams about: a girl offering themselves to you, asking for instruction in the ways of sex, and wanting nothing in exchange, no strings attached. There was certainly an obvious benefit to him. He would get to be with Lily in more ways than one. But he couldn't, not like that he couldn't. He wanted the strings attached; he wanted her to come to him for his charm and intellect and sense of humor also, not just use him for his body. It was an incredible offer but it just didn't feel right.

"This would entail certain things obviously. But I think you would be better at figuring that out than me. I just need someone's help and I figured since we already know one another it would be better if you could help than someone else. Plus if you help me with this I can be certain that you do even better in Charms. I promise, I'll work even harder with you. Think of it as repayment for my help tutoring you. I know I'm not the first girl you were hoping would offer you this kind of deal but I think I could really learn from you. I know I'd be a great student."

She finally stopped talking and looked at him. His face was blank, too many emotions to possibly hold in one look. He was completely lost for words; he had no idea what to say. Words were simply eluding him. He opened his mouth but simply closed it again.

"I understand if you need some time to think about it. I kind of rushed through the whole thing and just threw this idea on you… Well, just get back to me when you've decided okay?"

She laughed nervously and walked towards the door, still partially blocked by his body. He moved aside and she stopped, placing an arm delicately on his own. She leaned in close to him and whispered.

"Just think about it okay? Please James?" With that she leaned in, kissing him slightly at the corner of his mouth and walked out the door.

He fell back against the door with a thud and spoke his first word since entering the room.

"What?"

And now he sat in class, just running over the idea again and again. Weighing the advantages and disadvantages. He looked up and saw Professor Dumbledore still lecturing at the front of the classroom. He turned to his right and saw Remus fervently taking down notes, and on his left Sirius slept behind a standing book, a soft snore escaping his mouth. James slowly pulled out a piece of parchment and decided to organize his thoughts. A pros and cons list would be useful right? He dipped his quill in the black ink and began scrawling letters, which could only be seen as chicken scratch.

Pros:

Chance to get to know Lily better

Possibility of her seeing how she really feels about me.

Perhaps improve her opinion of me, get her to like me for me (personality and my body).

He laughed a pitiful laugh at that one, realizing he would basically become a prostitute. God, how many men would love to be prostitutes? There had to be something wrong with him.

Get to fool around with her. Take her virginity?

She had to be a virgin; he couldn't imagine her asking for this kind of instruction if she wasn't. But he screwed his face up in a frown as the vulgarity of his own writing. But it had to be said, it was certainly a plus and taking her virginity was something he had definitely thought about it. It would be like fulfilling his fantasies, and despite what he meant to her she would always remember her first time. They would be linked forever because of it. But the statement still irked him. He scratched it out and rewrote.

Get to fool around with her. Take her virginity?

Make love to Lily.

So there were the advantages to it. But the disadvantages certainly had weight as well.

Cons:

Be used by Lily without feeling.

Lose my self-respect.

Possibility of her remaining oblivious to how I feel about her.

Fall in love with her and then have my heart broken as she walks away into another guy's arms.

He looked at the last disadvantage for at least a minute. The word love had already worked its way into his head more than once and there was no point trying to deny that it was a definite possibility anymore. He felt for her like he had never felt for a girl before. And there was also no doubt that being with her like that would only make him more attached. If she could walk away from this without feeling anything for him, then he certainly would have his heart torn to shreds. But was he willing to take that risk?

He studied the list until he heard chairs scraping against the floor. He looked around and saw that everyone was filing out of the classroom; class had ended and he hadn't even realized it. He turned towards the door and he saw Remus and Sirius waiting for him. He gestured for them to not wait up as he gathered his stuff, and they nodded in return. He slowly packed his things into his bag as the idea continued to run circles around him.

"Mr. Potter, can I help you with something?"

He looked up suddenly to see that Dumbledore had yet to leave the classroom. He stood next to James' desk, offering a welcoming smile.

"Oh hi Professor. No I think I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I need to make a decision, a pretty important decision. I just don't know what to do."

"Well I would suggest thinking about it rationally. Which would be the best for your future?"

James had a feeling Dumbledore didn't know exactly what kind of decision he was dealing with. How could he? It's not like this was an every day dilemma.

"Yeah thanks Professor, I'll think about that."

Dumbledore smiled as James moved towards the door.

"But James…"

James turned back to him just as he reached the doorway.

"Yeah Professor?"

"If that's not quite the advice you were looking for then I suggest you listen to your gut… and your heart. Often times they are telling you the same thing. And heck, you only live once. Remember that James."

He smiled wisely as James nodded slowly. He said his thanks once more and turned to leave the classroom. What was his gut telling him? Well it was groaning because he had been holed up in a classroom listening to a certain redhead instead of eating breakfast. And he knew what his lower anatomy was hoping he chose. But his heart, well his heart was telling him it was willing to get broken.

Professor Dumbledore was right; you only live once.

So it was decided then. He would do it. He would throw all caution to the wind and listen to his heart. It hadn't gotten a chance to speak much in the past anyways; his heart rarely even had an opinion on the girls he messed around with. But it was speaking loud and clear now and it called for being with Lily, in whatever way possible. As the decision was made a huge weight seemed to be lifted off of his shoulders. He practically ran to the Great Hall, eager to eat and eager to tell Lily his decision. He came into the Hall, slowly to a fast walk as he sped by his mates sitting at one end of the Gryffindor table. He past the many faces looking at him in his hurried state. He spotted Lily and slid into the seat next to her.

She turned away from her friends, who had stopped talking to look curiously at him. She looked him in the eye and asked in a voice near whisper.

"Well? Have you decided?"

He smiled before taking her face in his hands and kissing her ardently. He pulled away a few seconds later to see a dazed Lily looking back at him. She regained her composure and looked down nervously, scraping her nail across the wooden table.

"Is that a yes than?"

He smiled. "That's a yes. Oh and lesson number one Lily, confidence is key."

He kissed her on the cheek before strolling over to his mates, leaving a dazed Lily and a handful of confused girls in his wake. He smirked as he slid in next to Sirius, who patted him on the back. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. And he was going to make it as hard as possible for Lily to ignore him. As he dug into his sandwich he thought cheerfully, 'This will be interesting.'

I hope you guys liked it! Chapter Seven will be a little longer in the making since my computer is being a jerk. Let me know your thoughts!