My writing schedule is a bit hit and miss at the moment – busy times with too much to fit in. For anyone following this story –sorry!

Next morning the two girls awoke and Beth followed Naomi downstairs to make some toast and tea. The silence was broken by Beth.

"Last night - I'm sorry Naomi I should have…"

"Christ Beth you've come through so much and are apologising to me. My issues are minute in comparison."

"Naomi, I just don't know how I feel about things – about you, about sex - I've never felt normal – what's that like? I feel frozen when I get too close to people physically. I don't know who I am and how to react when things get deep."

Hardly surprising thought Naomi, maybe some professional help from the uni welfare people? Surely the healing process from her childhood trauma would lessen with time?

Just when she had thought she was sliding into a deeper relationship with Beth it had been diverted away by these shocking revelations. She didn't want to hurt Beth in any way and must let her own needs and feelings come second. Was all this somehow relegating Emily into the background?

Emily! She hated herself for what she had done. Telling her that carrying on a long distance relationship wouldn't work, raising her hopes by inviting her down to London and then saying she wouldn't fit in. Her thoughts raced on. God, what a bitch I've been. I've put my own deluded self-image above caring for someone I loved? Loved? Love? Emily's too good for me – she would never have done that. Getting good A Levels brought out an unpleasant side in me that I've tried to keep in check – arrogance?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening.

"Hi darling! Oh hi Beth – you're up early – I had to drop Kieran off in town he'd forgotten about a dentist's appointment. Have you had any breakfast?"

"Err mum, why isn't Kieran at work – he's still at Roundview isn't he?"

"Well yes, but there was this student and she said that he did something – 'inappropriate ' – nonsense of course, he would never do anything like that, he's got me, hasn't he, but of course they have to investigate don't they? I hope the little tart gets kicked out don't you?"

God, thought Naomi – she didn't want her mum getting hurt but she couldn't exactly say what was common knowledge amongst the students at Roundview could she?

"What are you two going to do today, are you planning to see Emily? I told you she's not been well didn't I? Oh, and I saw Effie the other week she looked a lot better than when I last saw her, quite bright and chatty – such a terrible time for her when Freddie disappeared. It's funny how James Cook seemed to vanish at the same time – someone said they went off together but I can't see that myself can you? Why don't you go and see Effie, she'll know what Emily's like at the moment – you don't want to barge in and upset things – I know it's been difficult for you both – Emily's trip down to see you at Goldsmiths seemed to have upset her for some reason. Maybe she saw what life could have been like if she had worked harder at college…."

"God mum, Emily tried really hard but things were getting in the way that spring and I just think that she left things too late – I was lucky, I can shut myself off and work – some people are lucky like that."

Naomi knew that her mum's suggestion about seeing Effie was what she needed to do – but not with Beth there.

" Beth, perhaps I could go and see Effie and then after that we could go into town to see the highlights of wonderful Bristol – do you mind? It would be difficult for Effie…."

" No that's fine – why don't you tell me how to get to somewhere interesting and we meet up later?"

"Ok, if you really don't mind – I don't want you to feel…."

"No I really understand."

So now things were boiling up in Naomi's mind. What did she really feel about Emily – had she really been in love with her? The deceit about her affair with Sophia and its terrible aftermath, their reunion after Naomi had spilled out all her years of anguish and then the interruption of Freddie's disappearance and the breaking up of so many friendships to go off to other worlds.

Naomi rang the bell. She had messaged Effie to check she would be alone – not that she didn't want to meet Cassie, who she was curious about, but things would be said….

"Wow Effie, you look great, mum said she met you recently, how are you really?"

They went in and Naomi was surprised how neat and tidy it was.

"This is really nice Effie not what I was sort of expecting…"

"Yeah, well Cassie is very tidy, she's had issues in the past about that and other stuff but it suits us both at the moment."

" So, how are you?" Naomi repeated.

"I'm good thanks, I'm doing a design course part time at the art college and working part time at Bedrock – it sort of does high-end arty furniture, I do some store layout things."

"That's great, what are you going to do when you finish college? I haven't a clue what's ahead of me – an English degree – not very useful is it?"

"Don't know, but if Bedrock kept me on I could try to get into their design studio."

They were distracted by a ring at the door.

"That's the guy about our dodgy boiler – I hope he's brought the right part this time."

Naomi couldn't see past Effie as she opened the door but her heart leapt as she heard a familiar voice.

"Hi Effie, can I come in, I need to talk to someone. Somebody told me Naomi was in Bristol, have you seen her?"

Do I know what will happen next? To me writing is an exploration and while I don't own the characters I feel I have a responsibility towards them. Please, please review. I will carry on – but reviews do remind me that people are actually following this story.