Warnings ahead for realistic crack-ishness (does that really count as crack? Who knows) and Kaito's foul mouth. I was stuck between what to rate this because the content is pure, unadulterated G without a doubt. But characters curse as they always do in my fics, so. Just be aware that what you read ahead does include cussing. Not a ton, but it's there.
I had fun writing this! I hope you have fun reading it.
"Why the hell are we slowing down? He's getting away!"
"We're out of gas."
"What? What do you mean we're out?"
"I mean when we're out, we're out. See? Car's not budging." Kaito lifted his foot from the gas pedal noticeably – lifting his leg up far higher than was actually technically warranted in exaggeration – and pressed back down on the pedal. The sound of the engine grated on their ears and the car barely stuttered, not moving an inch.
They were screwed.
"Why didn't you fill up the tank?" Shinichi demanded.
"Why didn't I fill up the tank? Why didn't you!" Kaito retorted.
"I told you to! We were at the gas station, what else would we be there for?"
"I told you I wanted chocolate! And I wasn't just doing nothing, you know. I knew that the police cruisers had been headed the wrong direction. Call it intuition. And I got intel from the shopkeeper that pointed us, in the right direction, you know."
Shinichi threw his head back and groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"Why didn't you fill up as well?"
"I thought you were going to do it!" Kaito pouted, throwing his arms out. "This is your car. It's not my fault you don't know how to drive!"
'Why do you even have one if you don't have your license?' went left unsaid.
Shinichi shook his head.
"I do know how to drive, I'll have you know. My parents taught me in Hawaii."
Kaito opened his mouth to speak, Shinichi cut him off.
"But that was with an American car in America. Not the same thing as being taught in Japan with Japanese rules, regulations, and steering wheels."
Kaito mumbled under his breath, "If you can learn to fly a goddamn plane at six, you can learn to drive with a right-sided steering wheel."
The look Shinichi shot him was decidedly not amused.
Kaito didn't even have the sense of mind to look sheepish. As it was, their culprit was long gone now. He was glad he'd had to the foresight to go ahead and ring Takagi-keiji while he was in the gas station and announce that they knew where their elusive car thief had gone, despite Shinichi's previous objections to the idea.
Yes, the Heisei Holmes felt he had things to make up for in his 'absence'. One of them was restoring the Metropolitan Police Department's belief in him, though Kaito was quite sure that it had never left. Shinichi refused to believe otherwise, however, and so set it upon himself to 'make it up' to them by increasing his workload on top of all the work he already had to do about the corpses that fell around him daily.
That, at least, hadn't changed since he'd returned full-sized and Edogawa Conan had officially moved back to America to spend the rest of his non-existent years with his parents.
That was something Kaito desperately wished would have changed. At the very least, he was able to claim that he was Shinichi's good luck charm. Ever since helping him defeat the Black Organization, whenever Kudo Shinichi was in the presence of the ever elusive Kaitou Kid, or Kuroba Kaito, not a single body fell.
But apparently that didn't account to crimes in general, which Kaito would begrudgingly admit was understandable enough, given his nighttime splendors.
So a nice afternoon was interrupted not by a dead body, but by a jewel thief (not the good kind) turned car thief as he tried to get away from the police by barreling into and past the pair before stealing the aforementioned car.
And now this had happened.
Kaito leaned against the steering wheel to groan. He'd just wanted to go out and get some ice cream, was that too much to ask?
The car horn blared, jerking the brunet from his reverie in a not-so-graceful flailing of limbs.
Apparently.
Shinichi's voice broke through the silence.
"Why don't you whip out your glider and chase him that way, then?"
Now Shinichi was just being petulant. And illogical.
Kaito was pleased to see that he was rubbing off on his favourite critic after all.
"Well, for one, Meitantei-san," Kaito drawled, subtly slipping into Kid's persona, "There are too many buildings in the area and none high enough for me to jump off of without colliding into another."
He continued, counting out on his fingers. "Two, he's already far enough ahead of us that catching up would be a royal pain in the ass. Three, that would lead to speculation and/or investigation into why the Kaitou Kid was following said car thief to begin with when there hasn't been a new heist notice since the last gem was returned. And four, would require myself to fly around in broad daylight."
All of which, added up to a Very Bad Fucking Idea. Especially if there were any trigger-happy snipers around that just so happened to spot him. Kid had never been the biggest fan of being used for target practice.
Kid's grin split completely across Kaito's face.
"And you're assuming I even have my glider with me."
Shinichi shot a very distinct look to the dashboard which had been filled up with a variety of roses, scarves, one dove still cooing happily, and other trinkets that Kaito had made 'appear' out of thin air during their chase. While he was driving.
He regretted absolutely nothing. It was funny to watch Shinichi's reaction when he just for the life of him couldn't tell where something had popped out from. And while Kaito had been driving, no less.
But always keep your eyes on the road, kids.
The dove had been the funniest part, and as much as the detective tried to hide it, Shinichi still didn't know how Kaito had gotten the bird underneath his shirt when Kaito hadn't reached over even to touch him in the time period before the animal made an appearance. Kaito wasn't about to inform him.
In the blink of an eye, Kid's persona was gone like it had never been there to begin with, and Kaito took a final breath before pushing the door handle and motioning for the other male to do the same. Shinichi shot him a look.
"Well come on, then. We're not going to get anywhere just sitting in this car and pretending a full tank will magically appear."
Though that was certainly a trick that Kaito wished he could pull off. It gave him an idea if this ever happened again, though. Whether it was intentional or not.
Oh, if only this situation had been intentional. That would've made this whole situation ten times more exciting than it was turning out to be.
Before he had completely exited the vehicle, Kaito snapped his fingers and the mess on the dashboard disappeared in a puff of smoke, all of the objects gone without a trace except the dove which now resided on his shoulder. Shinichi followed suit and Kaito grabbed the keys and locked the car up, starting is trek down the otherwise empty street.
It appeared their criminal had lead them to a relatively deserted district on the outer edges of Beika. Which was smart enough for him, but not so much for the thief and detective combo that now either needed to get to another gas station or a pay phone, seeing that no matter how much Kaito waved his phone around in the air – and scaled up the side of a few buildings in a relatively not-safe manner – in an attempt to see if height would help the issue of service. Shinichi probably thought hanging off the edge of a rooftop upside down was a ridiculous idea, especially considering Kaito hadn't bothered to use the stairs, ("There were hand holds everywhere, Kudo. Now tell me this method isn't faster-") but the detective officially lost his right to say anything when the call rang through at that very moment.
Lucky.
"Ah, Takagi-keiji! … Yes, this is Kaito. Any chance Shin-chan and I could catch a lift? … Yeah, we sort of ran out of gas. … We're around... I'm not sure, exactly. Somewhere on the outskirts of Beika near Haido Park? … Oh, you're already headed in this direction? Great! We'll see you then!" Kaito flicked his phone off and did a rolling backwards somersault off the edge of the building and landed gracefully on the balls of his feet, the momentum still swaying him backwards until he landed flat on his back.
Not the most graceful landing from two stories, he'd admit. He still gave himself a nine.
"Eight point five." Shinichi spoke. How did he do that? Kaito knew for a fact that he hadn't accidentally said that out loud.
"Oh come on," Kaito groaned and jumped up, following the detective to where he was currently standing at the crossroads between the street they were on and another. "That was clearly a solid ni-"
Shinichi's hand clamped over his mouth and he dragged Kaito backwards, pulling them both to the cover of the building. Despite the hand muffling his words, Kaito made sure to show his indignation.
"Whburr nyoo dnyooing?"
Shinichi pressed a finger to his lips with a quick 'sh' and removed his hand from Kaito's mouth, immediately pointed further down the side street where a man was walking their way, acting incredibly suspicious.
Kaito recognized the man immediately. He was their not-so-neighbourhood-friendly thief. And he was getting closer to their position.
They really should have communicated better.
In that instance, the two of them acted at the same time. Kaito began to dart forward to jump the man while he was caught off guard, and Shinichi pulled out his accursed wristwatch and fired.
The end result was a prickly needle in the side of Kaito's neck and the man immediately bolting in the opposite direction of the pair. Kaito could barely keep track of the criminals movements as the world started to slowly darken around him. He staggered, one hand to the side of his neck, before falling onto the ground which suddenly became ten times for comfortable than he could remember.
Well shit.
"Rude," Kaito moaned pitifully from the ground while his mind slowly shut down.
Above him, he heard Shinichi groan along with something that sounded akin to, "Oh come on. Of course the one time I actually manage to hit you with this stupid thing is when I'm not aiming at you."
And then the world faded to black.
Later, Kaito would learn that Takagi-keiji and Sato-keiji finally showed up and they and Shinichi continued the chase with Kaito sleeping in the back of the patrol car. In the end they caught the criminal and deposited him back at the station, and Shinichi delighted in watching Kaito's split second of panic when he woke up handcuffed in the back of a police car.
Kaito was definitely rubbing off on him too much.