For brandybuckpuck on tumblr.

Now, Or Next Time

Today was the day. Kíli couldn't stop fidgeting nervously, playing with his shirt buttons and the cuffs of his sleeve. He had been preparing for this day for months now. He had a sneaking suspicion that Tauriel knew what was coming. Actually, he hoped she did. It would make it less awkward.

That night, he had taken her out to her favorite restaurant. Now he led her through a park, holding her hand with one of his. The other one clutched the box in his pocket. He hoped he wasn't sweating, or that his nervousness was obvious enough to make Tauriel feel uncomfortable.

"Look at that sunset," Tauriel murmured, squeezing his hand as she stared out into the golden horizon.

"It's beautiful," Kíli agreed. Tauriel turned to look at him, the light of the faintly appearing stars in her eyes.

They sat down on a bench together. Kíli took a deep breath, preparing to launch into his speech.

"Tauriel," he began, his throat dry. He swallowed, trying to calm his nerves. "We've been dating for what, a year and a half now?"

"Yeah," she said. "Remember when we met?"

Kíli blushed. "Yes."

"You dropped all your textbooks in the hallway," Tauriel recounted.

"And you were kind enough to help me pick them up," he continued. "Yeah that was—"

"And then your brother came along—"

"Fíli thought seeing me stumbling over my words because damn you were attractive was just hilarious—"

"And he was in my chemistry class—"

"So he invites you over to 'study' in our apartment, only he didn't tell me—"

"And so you ended up wearing Batman pajamas on what turned into our first date after he leaves to run a couple errands. After lighting candles and ordering dinner, of course."

They both laughed, and Kíli grinned at her. "At least I dressed up a little more for our second date."

"True," Tauriel agrees. "The third date, though—"

"Let's not talk about that." Kíli laughed. He felt much more at ease. God, they'd both been so silly and stupid and in love. They still were. He loved her, more than anything else in the world. He felt better about what he was going to say now.

"I love you, Tauriel," he said, squeezing her hand.

"I love you, too, Kíli," she said. She leaned down for a kiss. He gave one to her, then leaned his head on her shoulder. At first, he'd resented being shorter than his girlfriend, but now that he'd grown used to it, he was grateful to have a shoulder to lean on.

"Anyway," he said quietly. "We've been together for awhile."

He didn't look up, but he could feel her nodding.

"I've been thinking a lot recently," he said. "We've talked about the future some. I've loved you since...God, I think I realized it two months into our relationship."

"You fell fast," she said, giggling. "It took me almost six."

"This relationship is long-term, we've decided that already," he continued. She shifted a bit, and he sat up straight, looking at her in the eyes.

"Yes," she agreed. "I would certainly hope so, seeing as we're living together."

Kíli ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Tauriel, I love you. You're one of the best people I've ever met, right up there with my brother. You're sweet, and kind, and compassionate, but you're also so passionate about your art and your beliefs. I never want to have to be without you."

Tauriel blushed and glanced down. "Kíli, thank you, I don't know what to say—"

He took her hand with one of his own, getting off the bench to kneel down. He took a deep breath and pulled the box out of his pocket. "Tauriel, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He flipped the box open, revealing a beautiful, hand-picked ring made by his uncle, a local jeweler. It was a silver band with a gorgeous emerald laid into it. Emeralds were her favorite gems. He had done everything he could to make this as personal and special as he could.

"Will you marry me?" he asked, looking up at her with hopeful eyes and a trembling smile.

Tauriel covered her mouth with her free hand and gasped. "Kíli—I—"

His heart stopped as she stalled, her eyes wide and almost fearful. She took her hand away from his and sighed, wringing her hands together.

"Kíli..." She bit her lip. She was cute when she was anxious, but right now her anxiety was only making his own worse. "Look..."

His hopes plummeted. His shoulders slumped visibly. He'd been anxious about this, he'd had nightmare scenarios of her saying no (always breaking it to him gently—she was too good to be cruel), but he'd honestly expected a yes. He loved her—she loved him! She'd just said so! What had he done wrong?

"Kíli..." She said again. "I love you, I really, really do. But...marriage? Now? I just...I'm flattered, really, I am, but...We're just not ready. I'm not ready."

He closed the box, nodding. "I...I guess I'll just...return this ring then..."

"Kíli, no, no!" She looked very distressed. "I'm really sorry. I know you probably spent lots of time and money on this...I really wish I could say yes, Kíli! Maybe someday."

"So...are we still..." Kíli trailed off.

Tauriel leaned down and helped him stand back up. She gently guided him to sitting back down next to her. "I want to be. Kíli, I really do love you. I'm just...not ready."

Kíli nodded. He was in shock. He wasn't quite sure what had just happened.

"Uncle Thorin helped me make the ring," he said, stating the fact.

Tauriel bit her lip. "Now I feel really bad."

"No—no, don't." Kíli took a deep breath and tried to focus. "If we get married someday, you're right—we should both want to. Don't feel bad. You're right."

"Keep the ring," Tauriel told him. "Save it for later."

"Later?" he said.

"Have you not been listening?" She laughed. He felt a little better just hearing her laugh. This day hadn't gone exactly as he'd planned, nor as he'd imagined it, but...well...he supposed it could have gone worse.

"Kíli, I love you," Tauriel explained. "I just don't want to marry you right now. Keep it when I change my mind."

"When?" he said, looking up at her hopefully.

She smiled. "Well, probably when. A couple years down the road."

Kíli nodded, and put the box back into his pocket. He'd have to explain to Thorin and Fíli how this had gone...yikes.

Tauriel lifted his chin and bent down for a kiss. He could feel her smiling into the kiss, and the last of his anxieties melted away.

"Well, this is embarrassing," he murmured as they broke apart. Tauriel put an arm around them, and they snuggled. By now the sun had set, and the stars were lighting up the indigo sky.

"Next time, Kíli," Tauriel said, "maybe you should, you know, talk to me about this. Getting married isn't a decision that people can just jump into. A surprise proposal is a grand romantic gesture, but a happy couple really ought to communicate better."

He blushed. "Yeah," he said. "I see that now." He looked up to her and grinned. "I'll do better next time."

"At least we got a good date out of this," Tauriel said.

"Yeah," he agreed. "And the sky is beautiful now. Not as beautiful as you, though."

Tauriel laughed again, and Kíli grinned.

"You're the sweet one, Kíli," she said. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said. And even though his proposal hadn't worked out this time, it had turned out alright after all.