Hiccup: Will you get out of there?
[Cut picture]
Hiccup: We're going on night patrol.
Tuffnut: Night patrol! I love it! What is it?
Ruffnut groaned, "It's when you patrol the sky in the night, duh!"
Hiccup: It's where we patrol... at night. To keep an eye on the dragons. Make sure they don't get blamed for anything else.
"...I knew that," Ruffnut said, averting her eyes.
Fishlegs: Um, have you cleared this with our parents? Because some of us might not be allowed out after a certain hour...
"Aww, is poor Fishlegs afraid of the dark?" Snotlout taunted.
"No!" Fishlegs protested, "...I just think my mother would like to know where I was...at night...in the d-d-dark..."
"Pfft, sure Fishlegs...whatever you say..." Snotlout scoffed.
Snotlout:
Not allowed? Or afraaaaid?
Fishlegs:
Hey! Things happen after dark.
Hiccup: Guys! We have to do this. You heard Mildew...he wants the dragons banished.
Mildew huffed in agreement.
Ruffnut:
[Saluting] Permission to shoot first and ask questions later?
Tuffnut:
Permission to skip the questions?
Hiccup:
We're just patrolling! No one is shooting anyone!
Tuffnut: I have a question! [Beat] What's fun about that?
"So much for skipping questions..." Astrid muttered.
Astrid: It's not supposed to be fun. It's a "Hiccup" idea.
"...What's THAT supposed to mean?" Hiccup asked, folding his arms.
Astrid averted her eyes, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Hiccup: Exactly. [Beat] What?
[That night...]
Astrid: Hello sir!
[A burly, Viking woman enters the screen]
Astrid: Ah, umm, ah-ma'am.
Said burly, Viking woman scowled.
Astrid blushed.
Astrid:
My name is Astrid, and I'm with the Dragon United Monitoring Brigade.
Woman:
[Thinking] Dumb?
Astrid: Yes. That is correct. Not my idea... But it is easy to remember. If you have any dragon-related problems, contact us. Just cup a hand on either side of your mouth and at the top of your lungs yell...Dumb.
The teens burst out in a fit of giggles. Even Astrid couldn't deny how stupid she sounded...
[Camera changes to film Snotlout and Gobber]
Snotlout:
Halt! Who goes there!
Gobber:
Take a wild guess.
Snotlout:
I don't think I like your attitude.
Gobber:
Right back at yeh.
Snotlout:
Yeah...but I'm the one with the sash.
Gobber: Let me take a closer look at that. ...Dumb. Well that suits you.
Hiccup and Gobber secretively high-fived.
"I saw that!" Snotlout shouted.
"Is it because you're dumb?" Ruffnut smirked.
Snotlout turned a deep shade of red and set his jaw, "No one asked you."
"Good, because I don't talk to dumb people," Ruffnut shot back.
"Ha! Good one sis!" Tuffnut cheered.
They bumped helmets, knocking them onto the ground.
Gobber stifled a laugh, "Who's the dumb one?"
Hiccup sighed, "See what I have to deal with all the time?!"
Snotlout: Okay, I think we're done here.
[The twins make shadows with the moonlight, attempting to scare Fishlegs]
Fishlegs:
Oh! What was that?
[Hookfang appears, scaring Fishlegs away]
Tuffnut:
Whoa...
Ruffnut:
Whoa...
Both:
Did you see me scare him?
Ruffnut:
No, I scared him!
Tuffnut:
No, I scared him!
Ruffnut:
No me!
Tuffnut:
No, no, no!
Tuffnut:
Hey! Ugh!
Ruffnut:
It was me! I did it!
Tuffnut:
Clearly me!
[To the outside of the Great Hall]
Hiccup:
Well, Mildew will be happy to know what dragons do at night: they sleep like everyone else.
[Someone alerts a new emergency in the Great Hall]
Stoick:
Who could have done such a thing?
Fishlegs: Oh, it looks like a dragon to me!
"How...observant Fishlegs..." Hiccup drawled.
"Thank you!" Fishlegs beamed.
Hiccup:
We don't know for sure, Fishlegs!
Fishlegs:
Sure we do. Look at these claw marks. It was obviously a Monstrous Nightmare. The spacing of the talons is dead on.
Hiccup:
Once again, thank you, Fishlegs!
Fishlegs:
[Gushing] Oh, stop, it's just basic stuff.
Astrid:
But how could this happen? We had every dragon accounted for at all times! Right, guys?
Snotlout:
When you say, "at all times," and "every dragon," what exactly do you mean?
Hiccup:
Okay, what happened, Snotlout?
Snotlout:
Well, I was detaining a suspect who wasn't showing sufficient respect to the sash.
Gobber:
I think I showed sufficient respect to a sash that says "dumb".
Astrid: We've got to change that name.
Astrid nodded in agreement.
Snotlout:
Anyways, as I was questioning said suspect, Hookfang may have - and I'm not saying he did - but it is possible he wandered off for a few...
Ruffnut:
Seconds?
Tuffnut:
Minutes?
Snotlout:
Hours.
Tuffnut: Oh, that's way longer than minutes.
"...That's what I was thinking!" Tuffnut gasped.
Mildew: Oh no, it's true! The Great Hall! So many memories. My three weddings, their three funerals. Oh, the funerals!
The teens stared at Mildew in disgust.
Gobber:
A dragon must have gone on a rampage. I hate to say it, Stoick, but you're going to have to-
Stoick:
I know what has to be done, Gobber.
Mildew:
So do I!
Stoick:
Starting tonight, every night, I want all the dragons put in the Academy under lock and key.
Mildew:
What? That's it? Look at what they did!
Hiccup:
This just doesn't make any sense! A dragon wouldn't just come in here and destroy the place! I mean, none of the food was even touched!
Stoick:
I don't know why dragons do what they do, but I'm not going to let them do any more damage.
[Hiccup storms off]
Gobber:
You had to cage the dragons, Stoick. You had no choice.
Stoick: I know. But to Hiccup, when I punish them, I'm punishing him.
The dragons look at each other, then at Hiccup in pity. That must be so many punishments!
Gobber:
Yeah, that boy thinks the dragons can do no wrong.
Stoick:
I just hope he understands that while a father does what's best for his son, a chief must do what's best for the village.
[Over at the Academy...]
Fishlegs:
Sleep, little Meatlug in your bed, where yummy little boulders dance in your head.
[It fails]
Fishlegs:
That usually works! Our whole bedtime routine is upset! She won't even lick my feet, thanks to-
Snotlout:
Watch it, Fishlegs! At least my dragon doesn't need a lullaby and a blanky.
Ruffnut:
Actually, it's your fault that all our dragons have to sleep in jail.
Tuffnut: Yeah. You don't see our dragon going on a rampage and wrecking stuff. [Said dragon smashes a bucket].
The twins burst out into laughter, "We have the coolest dragon ever!" Tuffnut yelled.
"Total destruction," Ruffnut said, dreamily.
Tuffnut:
Well, not any good stuff.
Hiccup:
I don't think a dragon wrecked the Great Hall...or stole the boots.
Astrid:
None of us wants to believe it either, Hiccup, but you saw the proof.
Hiccup:
What proof? You saw the footprints, too. They were supposed to be made by a Zippleback, but they were no deeper than mine. Look at these! I could lie down in them!
Fishlegs:
Well, there could be a lot of explanations why a dragon made shallow footprints.
Ruffnut: Like, hello, he was trying to be sneaky!
"...Do I always sound so..." Ruffnut started.
"Lame? Stupid? Boring?" Tuffnut offered.
"...Nevermind," Ruffnut said.
Astrid:
All right. Well, how do you explain the Great Hall?
[Hookfang bursts into flames]
Hiccup:
Snotlout, do something about him, please? We're trying to think over here.
Tuffnut: Yeah, I gave up thinking. Never been happier.
"You never started thinking, idiot!" Ruffnut said triumphantly.
Astrid leaned away from the twins, "Is it just me, or are the twins having a...verbal sibling rivalry?"
Hiccup nodded, "Well, at least they're not causing any damage...yet."
Hiccup:
Snotlout!
Snotlout:
I'm not the boss of him. He always does that when he gets angry!
Hiccup: Or goes on a rampage. That's how I can explain the Great Hall! I've got to tell my dad about this! [Runs off].
[Camera readjusts to Hiccup and Stoick, and the confrontation in the Great Hall]
Thank you for your patience with my unstable updating. Starting now, I hope to keep this up and not leave you all hanging for almost six months. (At least I finally updated Quit Pressuring Me!).
The next story to be updated will probably be either Quit Pressuring Me! or How to Please a Jorgensen; which should be up by Sunday 6/29.