It tis I, Vladimir Tempest, your humble ("Still call bullshit on that one Tempy", Marcus shouts) guide into the mind of a psycho path. I was writing fast at first, now I plan to take my time and proof read each sentence and double check.

Chapter 6: Hard Choices

As the group of ten Fellowship members slowly descend into the darkness of the mine they come across an enormous open area. They can barely make out the gigantic pillars around them. "Let me risk a little more light", Gandalf says. He lights up the area allowing them to see that the pillars are actually towers shaped as pillars and that the towers were actually homes for the dwarves of Moria. "Reminds me of the ruins back home. Except my ancestors built their homes outside until the war drove them to make vaults underground for themselves. Well again some vaults were to save the people, others were to experiment on them. See how they would handle certain situations", Marcus says cheerfully.

The group just stare at him. "Your land is just wrong. Most of the people there must be insane", Sam says. "No, actually most are not insane by our standards. They are a few crazies out there though. A group of humans who thought they were vampires, but were in fact human. A man who wanted a cursed and evil book. And then there was good old mother. Once called these devices that if stepped on explode, hot potatoes, or the time she had father get one of those devices, or the time she wanted him poisoned so she could study its effects before they married. Or that one time she tried to dye Aunt Sarah's hair and instead made her go bald", Marcus says happily remembering his parents. "I don't whose crazier, your mother, or your father for marring her", Boromir says. "Father used to say the same thing", Marcus replies.

As the group continues forward they see a tomb. Gimli rushes inside and begins to weep when he reads the words etched in the stone of a crypt in the center of the room. Gandalf picks up a book from a dead dwarf's hands, while Marcus tunes him out. He instead looks around the room and notices dents or enormous cracks in the pillars, walls, and doors. He also notices arrows in or near the dwarves bodies along with spears, swords, axes, and more dents. He also notices how some dwarves have their bones cracked or crushed. "Crushed or broken bones. It appears to have been from some kind of blunt object. From the dents and cracks everywhere, possibly the object when it missed its targets. It's almost Supermutant like. Wait a minute. Cracks, dents, dead bodies with crushed bones… a massive creature could have done this but I need more evidence. Think, what lives in caves, crushes things, and can work with goblins?", Marcus thinks before remembering an entry in the book on creatures that a traveler might run into a night. "Oh crap. Nothing can ever be easy. Damn my 4 luck. Well as long as we are quiet, might be able to-" Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! "Damnit", Marcus thinks. Pippin looks embarrassed. They all wait in silence. Marcus draws A Light Shiny in the Darkness and Maria. They all sigh in relief when they don't hear anything. "Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!", Gandalf says angrily. As he walks away they all hear drums beating from the well. Da na danana naa! Everyone turns to Marcus, who is now holding the Mysterious Magnum in his right hand, in his left is A Light Shining in the Darkness. "What? The weapon in my left hand is enchanted. Besides, if they have what I think they do we are going to need it", Marcus says seriously. Suddenly Aragon and Boromir rush the doors to broad it up. Then a roar is heard. "They have a cave troll", Boromir says shaking his head. Gimli hops on top of the crept, Aragon and Legolas draw their bows and stand in front of Gimli, Boromir stands to the right side of Gimli, Gandalf stands to the right with his staff and long sword, and the Hobbits stand behind the crypt, because Marcus told them to, with their short swords. Marcus stand next to Boromir and Mortem stands next to Gandalf.

A goblin head appears in a hole in the door and Legolas puts an arrow in its skull. Then another appears and Aragon puts an arrow in its eye. Then the doors swing open and the goblins swarm forwards. One falls due to an arrow from the elf and another falls from an arrow from the Heir of Gondor. Suddenly four loud bangs are heard from LSitD and four goblins heads explode. Then four more bangs and two goblins lose their fingers on their sword hands and three more fall over. One from a hole in his heart the other two from a bullet going through their heads, the same bullet. Marcus fires four more from LSitD and four more fall from their wounds in their hearts. He holsters LSitD and brings out Maria. He shoots twelve times and twelve goblins fall over with holes in their eyes, head, or heart. He pockets Maria and fire the Mysterious Magnum six times. Six goblins heads explode. He holsters MM and pulls his Bowie and combat knives off his biceps and races forward. He dances between the ugly creatures weapons with ease. He slices and cuts his prey as he dodges. Each of his swings takes a goblin.

Mortem charges forward as well and dismembers or disembowels his prey easily. With each swing he takes two down. He also uses his massive tails to clobber his prey. He bites and tears heads from their shoulders. He terrifies his targets with his size and ruthlessness. Each attack is too fast to dodge and their armor is cut open like a knife on tinfoil. They try to run away, but Mortem is too fast to escape from.

Aragon uses his long sword to slice and cut his way through the swarm. He parries and blocks attacks with ease. Boromir catches attacks with his shield, then slices his attackers with methodical ease. Legolas is too agile for his ugly opponents to even try to hit. He shots them with arrows before moving to the next target. Gimli hacks goblins from his vantage point on the crypt, yelling, shouting, and fighting like a man possessed. He is almost roaring. Gandalf slices goblins with his sword and beats them with his staff. Almost like the old man he is. You can almost hear him saying, "You young whipper snappers get off my lawn", while beating the goblins with his cane.

Sam is beating goblins' heads in with a frying pan while Merry and Pippin fight in tandem, cover the others flaws or openings. Frodo has killed a few but his inexperience with a sword and his fear of dying have held him back, along with never having fought before. Soon the cave troll comes through the door roaring. Mortem surges forward like a rogue wave and crashes into the giant creatures side, horns first. He pulls his horns out of the ugly and smelly creature's side and roars in challenge at the brutish creature. The troll swings in anger, but Mortem jumps just out of range. Mortem charges at the troll and brings his claws on the creature's right side. The troll roars in pain and anger. The brute drops the club and punches Mortem in the side of his head, causing his head to be forced to one side. Mortem turns his head back, rage in his pale, pupil less, white eyes. Mortem bites the brutes face and stabs it in its stomach with his long claws. The troll pushes Mortem off it and clutches its stomach as blood and stomach contents fall to the ground. Mortem the stabs the brute in the throat before pulling his claws to the side, cutting off his opponents head. When the head hits the ground it rolls back out the door. Mortem stands tall, raises his head back, and roars to announce his victory over the goblins' best.

Marcus looks up from the bodies he has now added to his body count. Good thing he decided to add a list for this world so as to not add to his body count from his world. The fighting stops and all of the fighters look towards the roar. The goblins in fear the Fellowship with renewed spirits. Gimli gives a roar of his own and kills a goblin. The others join in and begin roaring their own battle cries and attack. Soon the goblins retreat and the Fellowship plan on how to leave when Mortem knocks down the back wall and the group runs through the opening.

Soon they are surrounded by an army of weary goblins. Marcus pulls LAER off his back and prepares to fire, when a roar echoes around the towers. The goblins run away in fear. "You know, I have found that if your enemy runs from something, especially after seeing what kind of weapons and allies you have are still willing to fight you, it is usually not a good sign", Marcus says. "I agree. Come we have to make for the pass", Gandalf says. And so the Fellowship is once again running for their lives.

They soon come to a stair case that is falling apart and are forced to jump across. Aragon and Frodo are stuck on unstable staircase that is separated from the others. So they lean forward to bring the staircase close enough to the others to jump into their arms. Then the group runs again to a small narrow bridge over a large chasm. Gandalf waits on the bridge for whatever is chasing them to arrive. Marcus seeing Gandalf's "last stand" pose, a pose that he has seen people use before they die, but are going to make sure they bring someone with them, he deatomizes his Fat Man that he has rigged to shoot six mini nukes at once in case the old man needs help. Suddenly a giant demon looking creature that is on fire appears. Marcus' left eye twitches. "Damn my luck! Did my father have deal with this! Nooo! Did his father! Nooo! Then why do I have to deal with this shit?! Was some kind of puppy and kitten kicker in a past life or something?! There is no way anyone else's luck is this bad, it wouldn't even be possible! The only way someone's luck is as bad as mine is if they have to face stuff like this without upgrades or allies. But what are the odds of that happening?", Marcus whines internally.

In Several Other Dimensions

Achoo!

Back to Story

"You shall not pass FLAME OF UDÛN!", shouts Gandalf. The giant flaming being starts to move and creates a whip of flame. "YOU… SHALL… NOT...PASS!", Gandalf shouts before slamming his staff onto the bridge and a shield of light surrounds him. The creature stares at Gandalf for a moment before moving forward to attack. The bridge shatters under him and he falls into the chasm below. As Gandalf starts to walk away, the whip wraps around his leg and he is pulled to the ledge. "Gandalf!", Frodo shouts. Gandalf, holding onto the ledge, looks at the Fellowship. "Fly you fools", Gandalf says before letting go of the ledge. "Gandalf!", Frodo shouts before being carried away by Boromir. Everyone begins to leave but Marcus. He keeps staring at the ledge that Gandalf was just hanging from. Arrows whiz by him. He looks up at the goblins. He raises the Fat Man. He points it at the ugly creatures. He pulls the trigger.

Outside the mine the others are sitting down when they hear six big explosions that shake the ground. Then another six followed by another. Soon Marcus appears. He is covered in dust and dirt. He smells of fire. He is quiet and walks without making a sound. He walks up to Mortem and reaches into the two duck tapped together duffle bags. He pulls out a stack of little flat circles. He reenters the mine and lays the circles down and hits the tops making them faintly glow. He walks out and walks down the hill in the direction of Mirkwood. He gestures for the others to follow.