Author's Note: Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews last chapter. As I said, that last scene is easily my favorite scene I have ever written – and considering how much writing I have (both posted and not), that says something. I do apologize for the delay in updates; my job sort of took over my life this last month. But, things are beginning to calm down a little, so hopefully that means more regular updates. My goal is every other week…let's see how that goes, lol.
Also, for my the Dawning readers, the epilogue should be up in around a week – it just needs to be edited/proofread.
Without further adieu, here is the next chapter.
Chapter Two:
Sanity
"Without the sunshine, there can't be rain.
Without the hard times, there's nothing to gain."
"What?!" the group chorused as the news was announced.
"A-alive, but…" Tseng stammered with disbelief. "But…that's impossible!"
"I thought so, too, when Elena told me," Rufus said quietly. "It's been seven years – I didn't think…" He sighed as he sought the words. "I wouldn't have been able to believe her if I hadn't seen him myself," he said finally. "But I did. And he is alive."
"Where the hell was he?" Reeve questioned, bewildered.
"In a secret extension of Hojo's lab," Elena explained. "When I was cleaning the bookshelves in the lab, I noticed a peculiar crease in the wall by one of the bookcases. Upon investigation, I found a secret button that activated from Hojo's office and opened it. When I went inside…I found Reno in one of the hidden experiment units."
"But he looks…very ill," Rufus continued.
"Where is he now?" Reeve asked anxiously.
"I left him in his apartment," Elena said.
"Is that wise?" Tseng inquired. The room fell quiet around him and eyes peered at him curiously. "We aren't sure what was done to him," he continued sternly. "We don't know if he's still sane."
"Sane?" Elena repeated. "Of course he's sane, Tseng – I was with him for almost an hour. In fact, aside from his memory, he seems to be the same old Reno."
"But we can't be too sure, Elena. We need to know exactly how he was…altered," Tseng argued, picking sensitive words carefully.
"Tseng, how could you—?" she began, outraged by his accusation.
"No, Elena," Rufus interrupted. "Tseng does have a point. The truth is that, if he was in Professor Hojo's…er, care these last seven years, there's no telling what was done to him – what damage might be inflicted."
"Medical and psychological evaluations will need to be done," Tseng said. "Not to mention tests by our scientists."
"I agree—" the young president began, nodding curtly, but Elena cut him short.
"You can't be serious?" she exclaimed, fuming. "We just got Reno back! Can't you just…just give him a chance to be normal again?"
"If we wait, Elena, it could be too late," Tseng countered, growing weary of battling the fierce blonde. His tone grew harsher, and his normally calm expression hardened sternly. "He could be a ticking time bomb for all we know."
"If I may," Reeve piped up. "Perhaps we could allow these tests to wait until tomorrow. That way he can gain some rest, and we can still…be safe."
"He'll have to be watched tonight," Rufus pointed out.
"I'll do it," Elena volunteered without hesitation.
"No offense, Elena," Tseng said, and blue eyes struck him venomously as she scowled. "But…I think it would be wise for someone else to stay with him – and don't argue with me," he added as she opened her mouth in protest. "If the situation should arise where…where it were needed…"
"…He's right," Rufus agreed. "If something happens, and he turns…"
"He won't – he won't turn!" Elena objected irately.
"Elena," Reeve said. "I don't want to think about it either. But…but they are right. We don't know what Hojo did to him or what…what it might cause him to do."
"I can handle it," she replied sternly, arms folding across her chest.
"No Elena, you can't," Tseng said, standing. "You can hardly handle deciding his fate, much less enacting it. I will stay with him the night," he added before she could protest.
"But I—"
"No buts, Elena," Rufus said. "As the Director, Tseng has the final say. And we have other matters to discuss." She slouched back into her chair, reluctantly accepting Rufus's decision. "Reeve, what's the status on the Reactor inspections?"
"It's slow progress, but we're near complete," he replied, shuffling through his papers at the unexpected subject change. "All of the Midgar ones were fine except for Sector…Sector 5. It had some abnormal readings that do require a more thorough investigation. Aside from the Midgar reactors, we have inspected Kalm, and the Underwater Reactor in Junon. We still need to inspect the reactors near Icicle Inn, Nibelheim, and the ruins in Gongaga, as well as the Northern Crater itself. Time permitting, I'd like to check the Mideel area as well."
"Over the next couple of weeks, I'll be pairing with Reeve to ensure we get them all," Tseng assured. "Once completed, we will assist Urban Development in inspecting the turbine fields."
"Very well," Rufus agreed. "Elena, over the next few days, I need you to go through Hojo's files and locate Reno's."
"…Yes, sir," she replied, a pointed reluctance laced over the obedient answer.
"The new scientist, Professor Hart, will be assisting you," Rufus added, deliberately ignoring the blonde's clear disdain for him at the moment. "Is there anything else to be discussed?"
"Not to my knowledge, sir," Tseng replied, but onyx eyes told another story.
"Then you are dismissed for the evening."
*~*~*0*~*~*
The scent, like formaldehyde, hung heavy in the stagnant air, in his senses, in each slow, deliberate breath. Green shimmered like moonlit water across stone walls, and eyes gazed downward into the pool that caused the dancing reflections. Footsteps echoed across the cavern walls and he turned sharply. A smirk gleamed beneath the shroud of the black hood and silver bangs framed the hidden face. Slender metal gleamed by the man's side, and he recognized the slender blade instantly. Blood stained the length, oozing off steadily. The drips echoed across stone like a steady heartbeat, and he suddenly realized that his head pounded in rhythm.
Suddenly, the world spun, the neon light of the Lifestream fading until he was left standing in darkness. Somewhere nearby, a droplet of water plopped into a puddle, the light sound echoing heavily in the silence. He turned quickly, and behind him a figure stood over a crumpled mass. A silent footstep drew him closer; the man standing was tall and unattractively lean. Wispy raven locks draped down his back in a pony tail and rubies speckled his bleached lab coat. The raised arm fell to his side and the barrel of a revolver gleamed distantly. Eyes glanced down to the figure on the ground. Strands of red mingled among the growing puddle that had formed beneath him, and suddenly he gasped.
Reno looked at himself. The madman chuckled to himself as he studied the fallen Turk, and Reno was unsure if the wounded was dead or if breath still shuddered in the still air. A bright light formed behind him, and Reno turned sharply. Mako swallowed him and his senses burned. Vision blurred, and the laughter muffled; he turned back, and the professor had disappeared beneath the fog. A silent scream tore from his throat and Reno clenched his eyes tight. His chest pressed inward and suddenly breath caught in his throat. Wind rushed through his ears and voices screamed all around him.
Eyes opened and the world around him had disappeared once more. He stood back in the cavern, green light casting a dancing reflection across stone. Reno whirled sharply and Mako eyes met his gaze. Heavy breath caught in his throat as the general sheathed the bloodied blade against his back and chuckled softly.
"…The time is coming…soon…"
Suddenly, the world shattered as hot metal pierced through him with an echoing bang.
Reno awoke damp with sweat, and panting heavily. The moon peered in through the creases of his blinds, casting velvet blue shadows across the dark room. His body shuddered against stagnant air, and his tongue stuck dryly to the roof of his mouth. A dream…?
'A nightmare,' he corrected mentally. Quietly he stood from the tangled mass of sheets and crossed the apartment. Bare feet thudded quietly on tile as he reached the kitchen, and glasses clanked in shaky hands as he pulled one from the cabinet. The spigot cut on, tap water bubbling slightly as he filled the glass, and the handle gave a small squeak as he cut it off. Greedily, he drank, nearly stomaching all of it in one long swallow.
"Are you okay?" Reno jumped at the sudden voice; water splattered his chin and the glass shattered as it hit linoleum. Tseng stood behind him, expression stern and unwavering at the skittish reaction displayed by the other.
"Tseng," he breathed, voice still gasping from the shock. "I…I didn't know you were here."
"We felt it was best to have someone watch over you for the night," he replied. A light smile touched the director's lips. "It's good to see you again, Reno." He reached a firm hand out and Reno hesitated as he reached for it.
"Y-yeah…you, too," he replied quietly, swallowing the sudden lump that had formed in his throat.
"Are you alright?" Tseng repeated. "You woke with quite a start."
"Oh, er…yeah," he mumbled. "I just…er, bad dream." A silence sank over them as the director waited for clarification. The redhead winced as static, like a bad cable feed, tugged at his attention. Reno shifted a shard of glass with his toe, trying to force himself to focus on something else – anything else; but the sound blared through his mind. Finally, he shook his head, letting his gaze fall back on the director. "I…I don't need you to stay with me, Tseng…I'm…I'm fine. Really."
"Don't worry, Reno," the director said as he reached for the broom. "I'm only here for your protection – to make sure you're okay. Try to get some sleep." Reno nodded silently and watched as shards of glass caught the moonlight. They clanked as he swept them into the dustpan and the redhead gave a weak smile as Tseng dumped them into the garbage bin. Hesitantly, he crossed the room back to the pile of bedding. He slid beneath the sheets into the still-damp bed; eyes didn't close. Instead, he stared at the photo on his nightstand, studying the smiling faces of his comrades.
That moment seemed distant. Like a dream that had somehow manifested into a memory.
*~*~*0*~*~*
"You must be the Turk," the scientist smiled, offering a hand, and she accepted it warmly. "I'm Professor Hart. Er, Derik."
"Elena," she smiled, "It's a pleasure. I, um, really appreciate you helping me go through these," she added, eyeing the stack of boxes. There were around a dozen boxes of files just in the lab – and at least another seven in the office; not to mention the ones she had not packed yet, she realized, recalling her distraction. She lifted the first one off, setting it down on a nearby table. Quietly, the lean scientist sat beside her.
"What, er, what exactly is it you're looking for?" the young professor asked uncertainly. A bright hazel eye gleamed against suntanned skin, and golden locks fell over a scuffed eye-patch. She could make out the scarring that leaked from beneath it, and distantly she wondered what might have caused such a grave injury. Suddenly, the professor turned away, and Elena realized she'd been staring.
"Oh, I-I'm sorry," she stammered and he shook his head.
"No, just, er…mauled by a…a wolf," he mumbled. The air hung heavily over them, the silence awkward and uncomfortable, and for a beat, neither could find words. He cleared his throat pointedly as he quickly changed the subject. "So what are we, er…what are we looking for?" Hart queried, repeating his question.
"An experiment file," she answered, swallowing the lump in her throat. She had only been here for a few minutes and already managed to offend and embarrass the new scientist. …Fantastic. "For a Turk named Reno." The scientist nodded, gaze not meeting hers as he studied the file he had pulled from the top of the box. Once more, the silence settled over them and she drew in a deep breath. Delicate fingers pulled the second, her eyes still lingering over the scientist.
"…So, er…how do we know if it's about the, er, Turk named Reno…?" he finally asked, and an olive eye lingered over his file before finding a cobalt gaze. She studied him a moment, uncertain, and looked down to her own file.
"It's…it's not labeled?" she realized.
"Mine is, but in…some sort of, er, I don't know, code?" he replied. She leaned over, and he pushed it towards her.
"S-dash-NR?" she read. "What the hell does that mean? Is it initials?"
"No idea," he answered quietly, voice trailing as he skimmed the content. "No name is mentioned…but…this can't be the one; it says that…that the subject, er…died after three weeks." His eye met hers, wide with horror. Insides rolled uncomfortably, and she cautiously opened her own file; cobalt skimmed the file, and she shuddered. "This one didn't survive either, but it was definitely during his experiments on cloning Sephiroth." She pulled another from the stack, and sighed, adding "unlabeled."
"This one, too," he stated, and she hung her head.
"Hope you don't have any plans, Professor," the blonde muttered, the bitterness hanging over her words as she skimmed the file.
"…Derik," he corrected, the syllables hanging almost silently in the air, lingering like morning fog. Sapphire eyes struck him, wide and uncertain. She smiled after a moment, heat rising in her cheeks as she buried her face in the file. A shrill ringing filled the lab, and the pair jumped; Elena's knee slammed against the underside of the table, and Hart nearly toppled in his chair. She cursed quietly, pulling the phone from her pocket.
"This is Elena," she said, and she mouthed a wide 'ow' as she massaged her leg.
"Were you able to locate Reno's file?" the director asked. The blonde sighed.
"No, Tseng," she replied quietly. "And it's not going to be any easy task." Lips pursed as the director spoke.
"Elena, we need that file – you said it wouldn't take long," he protested, and she caught herself rolling her eyes; the scientist snorted, burying his gaze into another file.
"Well, that was before I realized they weren't actually labeled," she retorted smartly, "and the ones that are, are labeled in some sort of code. I don't –"
"Figure it out, Elena," he stated sternly, interrupting her excuse. "We need that file as soon as possible. If he can, have Professor Hart help you for as long as it takes."
"I understand, sir – I'll keep you posted," she said curtly, gaze flickering to the blonde professor. "Tell the president he has my apologies." She hung up before Tseng could protest
"Well, Professor," she sighed, pulling another file from the stack, "It looks like you and I are gonna be stuck here for a while."
"…Derik," he corrected, and she smiled to herself, tucking a wisp of blonde behind her ear. Blue eyes buried themselves in another unlabeled file. "Wow…this is…this is, er…pretty dark stuff," Hart said suddenly, a nervous eye glued to the handwriting. "Turning humans into…" He shuddered and Elena studied him silently. "I'm not, er…I'm not expected to…carry on in Professor Hojo's field, am I?" She laughed suddenly, and he looked taken aback as she calmed herself.
"Technically, his field after Meteorfall was Regenerative Research," she said. "After all, his research with Mako and the Jenova Project was banned."
"Oh…well, er…Regenerative Research isn't bad," he said thoughtfully, skimming the next page.
"What is your field of study?" the blonde Turk asked nonchalantly as she flipped the page in her own file. She felt his gaze study her for a moment, and she wondered distantly if he was trying to decipher her sincerity.
"I've, er…dabbled in a few different fields," he explained. "But…mostly, I've focused in cells and genetics. A little bit of chemistry and medicine," he added quickly. He discarded the file after a moment, shuffling for another one. Elena giggled, mimicking his motion.
"You know, you don't exactly seem to be the 'scientist' type," she remarked casually.
"Oh…er, there's a type?" he replied, feigning his nonchalance.
"Not really…you just look like you should be on a surf board in Costa del Sol instead of a basement laboratory in Neo-ShinRa." He laughed nervously to himself, and she smiled. Cerulean eyes strained as she tried to read the small cursive, squinting and drawing the file close; this subject was a redhead, but a former member of SOLDIER, so it seemed. She discarded the file with disappointment, sighing. Eyes lingered over her watch, and she cleared her throat lightly. "It's going to be lunchtime soon," she finally said. "Are you going to the cafeteria?"
"Er, no…" he answered quietly. "I…usually just eat in my office." She forced her gaze to linger over the page as she turned, chewing a fingernail intently as she tried to focus on the words rather than the lingering gaze that hung heavily over her. Quick eyes snuck a peak, and his gaze snapped downward.
"Well, why don't you join us?" she asked casually. "I mean, the guys are pretty good company."
"I…I don't know," he protested, voice wavering nervously.
"What, do you want to turn into the creepy scientist that stays holed up in his lab all day?" she jested, and silence settled over them. Suddenly, the realization sank over her and her face flushed. Apparently, the same realization washed over the scientist, and his expression changed quickly. "Oh…gods, that was…that was inappropriate – I'm sorry." He snorted quietly, the sound quickly escalating into laughter. She eyed him, allowing herself to giggle.
"No, that was appropriate," he assured her. "I…er, yes, I'll…I'll go to lunch with you."
*~*~*0*~*~*
"I'm fine, sir," Reno insisted standing from the chair. Behind his desk, the president sighed. "I don't need time to adjust – it doesn't even feel like I've been gone!"
"Perhaps, Reno," he protested calmly, "but your body isn't used to strain. It's been in stasis for seven years. You should take it easy. Besides, Tseng would like for you to be fully evaluated before you go back to work."
"'Evaluated?'" the redhead repeated. "I don't need to be evaluated, sir – I told you, I feel fine!"
"Yes," Tseng's voice interrupted from behind. "But we feel it would be best to have you fully evaluated to figure out the extent of Hojo's…" his voice broke off, and Reno knew the word he was searching for. He sighed heavily as the director's eyes met the president's, a secret message barely hiding within the gaze.
"Yeah, yeah," he said, stuffing his hands in his blue jeans' pockets. "You wanna make sure I'm still sane."
"Reno," Rufus protested sympathetically.
"No," he said, his eyes tracing the creases and scuffs in his loafers. "I get it. You want to make sure Hojo's experiments didn't make me crazy. Really, I get it."
"It's…merely a precaution, Reno," Tseng replied quietly. "We just want to make sure you aren't…that you'll be okay."
"When?" he asked, ignoring the director's statement.
"The series of tests will take a couple of days, and a few more to analyze," Tseng said. "We can start whenever you're ready."
"Well, let's get this over with," he sighed, walking passed the director to the door. "The sooner, the better." He pressed the button and the door unlocked. Pale fingers pulled it open, and Tseng followed him through. Reno allowed himself to be led to the new medical wing of the Neo-ShinRa building.
"Today, you'll be going through the first series of M. and physicals," Tseng said as they got onto the elevator. "We don't want to do too much too fast, so we're going to start slow."
"I don't need to 'start slow,'" Reno argued tersely. "The quicker we get this done, the better. Throw whatever you've got at me." The director was silent, leading him in to the medical wing.
The morning went by slow; blood had been drawn, plus he'd had one M.R.I. and one C.T. – both taking around an hour – and a psychological evaluation from a quack who, Reno was sure, wouldn't know his ass from his elbow. Tseng, of course, was waiting for him in the waiting room outside when he finally finished. Reno rolled his eyes, plopping down beside the navy-clad Turk.
"Was that guy serious?" he asked sarcastically, fingers scratching at his cotton tee-shirt, and the director chuckled. "'How does being a lab rat for seven years make you feel?' Please…" The redhead sighed, picking at his fingernails. "And apparently the paper towel dispenser in his bathroom doesn't recognize me as human…" Reno chuckled half-heartedly, the humor falling flat; he stuffed his fingers inside denim pockets, and looked to the raven-haired Turk that had become his personal escort. "So, what's next?"
"I thought you might be hungry," Tseng said, standing. "If you'd like, we can join Elena and Reeve for lunch."
"Thank God – I'm starving!" The director smiled, and Reno followed him anxiously to the elevator. They went up to the thirty-second floor; as the doors opened, enhanced scenes caught the scent of fresh food. Some sort of beef…Salisbury Steak, maybe – and definitely deep fried chicken. Something spicy, too…pizza and…teriyaki sauce. His stomach gurgled, and he placed a hand over it, hoping to stifle the sound. If the director heard it – which it would have been impossible not to – then he chose to ignore it. There were tables lined throughout the room – ranging in size from a two-seater to a twelve-seater, and everything in between. Stations set up along the wall like buffet lines at a restaurant.
"I think you'll find the food has improved quite a bit from what you remember," Tseng said, crossing the room. After all, the Turks used to go down to Edge for lunch – usually hitting up one of the diners. It wasn't paid for like the cafeteria food, but…well, the latter was dog food back then. "Help yourself," he added, gesturing for Reno to go on his own. The redhead hesitated, but headed straight for the shortest line.
Being tube-fed for seven years would leave anyone pretty hungry.
He gathered his plate, piling it with whatever he could fit on it – fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, teriyaki beef, fresh stewed vegetables, two slices of pizza…finally, deciding the plate would topple before he could make it to a table, he turned. Mako eyes scanned the room, searching for the director. Waving caught his attention, and he smiled as the spunky blonde sat back down. His gaze lingered over the man that sat beside her, a young scientist in a starch-white lab coat.
He blinked, the dim surroundings hazed against his vision. His head pounded and eyes scanned the barely lit room. Hesitantly, he turned, and pain tore into his skull, sudden and white-hot. He crumpled to the floor, screams biting at his lungs and throat, unable to escape. A hand reflexively clamped across the side of his face, hot, sticky fluids seeping between his fingers.
Reno tore his mind free, blinking absently against the bright fluorescent lights of the cafeteria. His gaze lingered on the stranger…what…what had he just seen? Brows furrowed as Tseng's gaze caught jade eyes, and the redhead feigned composure as he neared the table. The director sat across from Elena and the blonde, and Reeve beside the director. Reno sat, and they eyeballed his plate.
"…Well, at least your appetite hasn't changed," Tseng jested, swirling his spinach salad in some dressing. Elena giggled as Reno frowned; eyes looked down to his plate and he laughed to himself.
"Yeah, I might've over done it," he admitted, pulling his mind away from the strange and violent vision.
"How're the tests going?" Reeve asked casually, attempting to make conversation. Tseng cleared his throat and Elena shot a glance across the table. The scientist glanced up from his plate, and an olive eye lingered over the redhead warily. Reno hesitated; he imagined the director had told them to discuss something other than Reno.
"It's a real drag…" he answered honestly. "But, the sooner they're done, the sooner I can get back to being a Turk right?" He wolfed down a slice of pizza, and chuckled. "This psychologist – or psychiatrist, whatever – he asks me… 'How does it make you feel?' No matter what I say – that's his next question – 'and how does it make you feel that you were in a test tube for seven years?' Really?!" Elena giggled, but Reeve shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"…It's good to see you in high spirits," Tseng smiled, taking a bite of his salad. Reno nodded, silence falling over the group. He chomped to himself, hoping the sound might fill the void of conversation, and the realization settled over him; he was the only topic for conversation. Like those little shared glances were secret messages about him – about his condition. Suddenly, the director cleared his throat, and he looked up at the blonde Turk; dark eyes flickered to the professor beside her, and she caught his drift.
"Oh – introductions," Elena said suddenly, dropping her fork noisily against her plate. "This is the new scientist – Professor Derik Hart." He choked on his bite of food, clearly having not expected any formal announcement. The Turks chorused over their own "pleasure to meet you's" and he nodded wordlessly.
'ShinRa's new lab-rat,' a thought jested cynically against Reno's mind; the redhead blinked, wondering silently where the statement had come from. Finally, he shook his head and took a mouthful of pizza crust.
"Are you and the professor making progress?" Tseng continued nonchalantly.
"We, er…yeah, some," she murmured, clearing her throat; the guys exchanged looks, and Reeve cocked an eyebrow. The scientist seemed extremely interested in his green beans, eating them hastily as he avoided their gazes.
"That's good to hear," Tseng replied, his voice aloof despite his expression. Hart coughed as he swallowed one too fast, sucking down his glass of water to alleviate his discomfort.
"I'll, er, be back," he said suddenly, standing. "More…more water," he added plucking his empty glass from the table. Eyes lingered on the scientist as he awkwardly sauntered away. Reno watched him quietly; a nervous eye flickered back to him, darting to a different direction as it caught on Mako eyes.
"…You have a crush on him, don't you?" Reeve queried puckishly, and pale cheeks tinged pink as she choked on her macaroni.
"What would give you that idea?" she replied, stabbing a piece of steak and stuffing it in her mouth. Cobalt eyes suddenly found an intent interest in the meat, and she picked at it with her fork.
"So you do then?" he jested, and her gaze struck him warningly. "Admit it!"
"Oh, grow up!" she spat childishly, throwing a wadded napkin at the other. He tried to dodge it smartly, but wound up toppling himself over in the process. Elena roared with laughter, and Reeve couldn't help but join in. Tseng chuckled quietly to himself, fork stirring his salad.
"…Good for you," Tseng remarked softly, the comment clearly only meant for Elena's ears; Reeve didn't acknowledge the statement, but cobalt eyes darted to the director sharply. She studied him uncomfortably, clearly taken aback. Finally, her gaze fell back to her food, and she prodded it quietly. Jade eyes lingered over her delicate features, and flickered back to the unfazed expression of the director…
Pale light filtered in through the open blinds, warm and hazy as the sun rose. His eyes focused, tracing the thin lines of gold and orange that creased the pale pink sky. Rose began to shift to blue as the sun peered over Edge, and a quiet sigh escaped his lips; he hadn't sighed, he realized, the sound pried breathily, demandingly from his throat. Ears pricked; there was finally movement, rustling from the other room. Pale fingers pushed the slightly wrinkled fabric of the blue suit aside to glimpse his watch; vaguely Reno realized it wasn't the cheap watch he used to wear, but rather a costly make that glittered even in the dim light. It was almost seven in the morning. He tugged the sleeve back down, the motion absent as his body moved of its own accord, stuffing hands in his pocket as he waited for her to search for him.
"…Tseng…?" she called softly, opening the door. He repeated the name mentally, wondering why the wide-eyed blonde had mistaken him for the director. She had thrown on her suit, the expensive fabric creased and golden locks unkempt. Cerulean eyes quivered as they met his gaze, but the moment was brief, fleeting as his eyes found the sunrise once more.
Metal feet scraped over tile, tugging Reno from the daydream. He blinked absently, forcing his gaze to leave the director and turn to the source of the sound. The scientist rejoined them, and Reeve chuckled to himself; the blonde cleared her throat warningly, and he stifled his snickers. Moments passed in silence, only broken by the bustle of the cafeteria around them, and jade eyes glanced back down to his full plate. Reno picked a pepperoni off of the second slice of pizza; despite his hunger, he felt sick.
"You okay?" Elena asked suddenly, placing a hand on his. Reno gulped quickly, swallowing his words; the dreams…the visions…maybe they were right. Maybe…something was wrong with him. Maybe he wasn't as fine as he thought he was. The redhead opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly. He felt the pre-acid climbing up his throat, and his eyes watered; he knew what would come next. He stood from his chair and ran to the nearby garbage can. His stomach lurched and the contents of his lunch spilled from his mouth. Coughing, he wiped his mouth with a napkin. He felt a hand on his shoulder as he vomited again. It was a warm touch, relaxing and gentle. Reno's body trembled slightly, and he wiped his mouth. Finally, he turned, deciding that everything was out of his stomach. Cobalt eyes met his, glassy with worry. The director stood behind her, clearly hesitating, and Reeve half-stood by the table; the professor sat still, fork frozen mid-bite and wide-eyed. It seemed none of them knew what to say or how to react. Finally, he shook his head.
"I…must've overdone it," he said, laughing half-heartedly.
"Elena, why don't you take him back to his room –" Tseng began.
"Its fine, sir," Reno interrupted, clearing his throat. It burned with the acidic remnants of the vomit, and his saliva tasted sour as it clung to his mouth. "I'll…I'll be fine on my own." He walked passed them, not giving anyone time to protest. He swiped his temporary ID in the elevator and pressed the button for floor sixty-two – the apartments. His mind drifted briefly, recalling the odd scene between Elena and the director…why had he seen that? Had they…had they finally gotten together? Reno sighed as he watched the digital display ascend.
He wanted nothing more than a hot shower and a tooth brush.
'So, how does it make you feel?' Reno jumped at the sudden question, turning quickly. Who…who'd asked that…? Himself…? Brows furrowed as he turned back to the digital display… Forty-five…forty-six…forty-seven…
'Do you resent them?' He didn't startle, having expected to hear it again. The question echoed inside his mind, and he shook his head hesitantly.
"…I can't blame them," he said, quietly but sternly, as he focused back on the numbers. Fifty…fifty-one…fifty-two…
'Can't you?' it protested. 'They claim to have looked for you…and all that time…seven years…you were right under their noses…' The redhead's mind drifted as he considered the bold statement. It was true; Elena had said they had interrogated Hojo, but the mad scientist had turned them away…why…why didn't they look harder?
Great. Now he was talking to himself. Tseng would absolutely love to hear this…
"I won't tell him," Reno told himself bluntly. "I'm fine…just…tired. That's all." A shrill ping echoed through the elevator, and doors slid open.
The air was heavy with the pungent scent of Mako, and a trail of crimson smeared across the floor. Reno hesitated; he recognized this place. It was Professor Hojo's old lab, on the sixty-seventh floor of the ShinRa building; the ShinRa building that had been destroyed by Meteor and demolished almost nine years ago. To his right, one of the scientist's assistants lay motionless in a pool of blood. The metal container had been ripped open, and a foul odor leaked from the hole. Cautiously, he approached it; empty. Whatever had been inside made sure it got out.
Suddenly, light flashed in his eyes, and a shrill screech echoed through his mind. Limbs went numb, and he collapsed. Vision focused weakly, and he blinked as the blaring sound died away. He pushed himself up from the carpeted hallway. Uncertainly, jade eyes scanned the altered surroundings; it was the hallway that led to the apartments. Hesitantly, he walked to his apartment, keys jingling whimsically as he unlocked the door.
The apartment was dimly lit by the pale sun from the blinds as he tossed his keys onto the table. Fingers fumbled with the cord, yanking them closed so that darkness settled over the room. Not wavering, he crossed through the apartment to the bathroom, and Reno flipped on the water, as far over to hot as it would go; not that it would make a difference. It was likely his water was still not fixed, though cold showers actually weren't all that bad. Sharp vision found the light switch, but fingers hesitated; he shook his head. Instead, they plucked the toothbrush from the counter, and he coated it with toothpaste. The minty flavor was almost bitter against his mouth at first, and his stomach curled in protest; for a moment, he thought he might be sick again. Finally, he slid open the shower and braced for the cold waterfall. His body tensed reflexively, shuddering unwillingly as though he was submerged beneath ice, but after a moment relaxed as he lathered himself.
Even still the heavy scent of Mako clung over him, but he didn't bother trying to scrub himself down to rid himself of the foul odor. He'd tried for an hour that morning, and hadn't noticed a difference. Finally, he shut the water off and groped for the metal handle; the door slid open and he reached for a clean towel. He scrubbed himself dry, noting that he should probably wash the rest of the towels before use. It crumpled to the floor, and he picked shedding fibers from bare skin. A dull ring pricked against his ears, and he found the wall; but it wasn't the shrill screech he'd heard before. No, this was almost musical – a whimsical tone gently tugging at his mind. Brows furrowed as he focused on it, and the noise slowly started to shift into static.
A creak wailed outside the doorway, and his focus snapped back to reality; was that a footstep? Enhanced ears pricked, and he could make out the sound of someone shifting outside his door. Tseng, most likely, hovering like a fawning school girl outside his bathroom. A sly smirk slid over his lips as he considered the notion of walking out bare, the expression on the director's face too priceless to even picture. Fingers reached for the doorknob eagerly as he debated, but finally he cursed to himself; hastily, he tied the towel around his waist and opened the door.
"Oh, God!"
"Elena?!" he yelped, suddenly mortified. He pulled at the towel, ensuring that it covered as much of his bare body as possible, and he silently thanked whatever subconscious morality had forced him to cover himself.
"I-I'm so sorry, Reno!" she cried, blocking her face as she whirled.
"What the hell are you doing in my room?" he asked, scrambling for the bathrobe. He slid it on, tightening the waist wrap and leaving the towel for good measure.
"I was worried about you so I wanted to make sure you were okay – I'm sorry, I should've knocked or…waited," she explained, voice shrill with embarrassment.
"It's…It's fine," he said finally. "You can turn around," he added when the blonde didn't say anything. Hesitantly, she did, hanging her head shamefully.
"I heard the water, but there was no light on," she shrugged. "I thought…I don't know, maybe something had happened." She trailed, hoping for an explanation that would make her feel like she hadn't just mortified herself for no reason.
'…you can't stand the sight of yourself…of what you've become,' his mind admitted inwardly, and his humor faded darkly. Suddenly, he was heavily aware of the uncertain gaze that lingered over him, and bright eyes met sapphire. Delicate features were flushed pink, her humiliation etched over every inch. A tinge of hopefulness lingered over the expression, as though she hoped he would give some indication as to whether she should have truly worried, or if showering in the pitch dark was something completely normal. He laughed to himself, and she relaxed.
"By the way, not a fan of cold showers," he remarked. Blue eyes glanced to the bathroom behind him, and she frowned uncertainly.
"I'll…see if I can have someone take a look," she replied quietly, examining the room over his shoulder; steam still fogged the mirror, and humidity seeped out into the bedroom. It certainly looked like he'd just enjoyed a sauna, but…she shook her head. It'd been out of use and not maintained for quite some time. It was probably malfunctioning. Silence sank over the pair and she cleared her throat finally. "Are you, um…feeling better?" she asked, clearly dodging the question she wanted to ask.
"A little nauseous still, but…" he admitted quietly. "I…think I just over did it." She nodded, and he sank into the mattress. Limbs willingly gave, aching with slight relief as weight lifted from them.
This…isn't gonna work…is it?" she asked finally, head hung as she waited for his answer. She stole an upward glance, searching for smoky eyes before fleeting back to the short strands of carpet beneath her feet. The heating unit kicked on, the fan drowning out any lingering silence, and he sighed softly.
"…I'm sorry, Elena," he offered meekly, almost shamefully. But she shook her head sharply, denying his apology. A smile, weak, hesitant, but sure tugged at her lips and she sighed quietly.
"So…you and Tseng…?" Wide eyes met his and she studied the redhead uncertainly.
"It…was relatively short," she confessed. "How'd you…?"
"I heard what he said," Reno replied casually, lying. "Plus, it was pretty obvious you had a crush on him since you were a rookie." She blushed, shaking her head as she let herself sit beside him.
"You know, he invited me to dinner once," she said, and he raised an eyebrow. "When we were in the Temple of the Ancients. But…well, that didn't exactly go as anyone planned. I decided to not mention it; I figured…he'd probably changed his mind."
"…But?"
"…But…almost a year after you disappeared, he asked me to dinner again," she continued. "It didn't last though…"
"…What happened?" the redhead asked. Cobalt eyes had found the floor, studying the short fibers of the carpet intently.
"We had only been seeing each other for around a month, when…" she sighed quietly, swiping a quick hand over her face. Fluorescent jade studied her intently and she shook her head. "It was always hard for us…when that time rolled around; this was the first year…the day you'd…" Unable to choke the words out, she shook her head. "We just…we didn't want to feel sad…" She chuckled to herself quietly, wiping a tear from her eye. "And the next day, we decided that it wouldn't work. Not since we were both Turks. And…that was that."
"…So…you banged the director?" he asked, and she shoved him playfully.
"Really?!" she replied.
"What?!" he protested. "Did you?"
"I am not going to answer that, Reno!" she replied, giving him a light punch to the shoulder. He sniggered and she giggled quietly as she gave him another push.
"Oh, no…room's spinning," he muttered, letting himself fall back to the mattress. He laughed to himself, and a quiet chuckle reached his ears.
"Sorry," she said, standing from the mattress. "I'll let you get some rest."
"Yeah…okay," he replied, mind already drifting into slumber. Distantly, he heard the heel-toe chorus of her shoes as she showed herself to the door, the lock clicking silently into place as she closed the door behind her.
*~*~*0*~*~*
The pool gleamed beneath them, and the mosaic altar glistened as it caught flecks of light. From his view above, the young female knelt, praying. Golden locks shimmered beneath the light as bangs fell over closed eyes.
'Elena…' he realized quietly, but the comprehension was fleeting as footsteps tugged his attention away; someone approached her. He was tall, raven hair fell down his back, just below his shoulders. It was sleeked back in the front, so that he could make out dark eyes even from the distance. The director hung his head, stern façade almost shameful as he waited for the blonde to acknowledge his presence. Sapphire eyes caught the light, flickering glassily as she studied him; a smile slipped over soft lips, sympathetic and understanding.
Finally, Reno leapt from his perch, and the slender blade plunged downward. The hiss echoed like leaves shuddering in the wind as it pierced flesh, the blonde fell limply against the sword, golden tresses shimmering as they danced in the radiance, finally stilling as she hung, lifeless. Suspended. Mako eyes met onyx, glassy and horror-filled, and a smirk pulled at chapped lips as his hands withdrew the blade. Metal flashed beneath streaks of crimson, and the Turk caught her body as she slumped forward.
"Because you are…a puppet."
Wake up!
A shrill ring cut him from his sleep, and he jolted awake. The redhead blinked, grabbing the phone from his night stand. Mako enhanced eyes squinted to make out the caller ID through sleep-hazed vision and he sighed.
"H-hello?" he said.
"Reno, how are you feeling?" the director asked.
"Mm…fine, I guess," he answered. Eyes glanced over at his alarm clock; it was just past seven-thirty. At night, he realized, making out the tiny PM light.
"That's good to hear," Tseng said. "I was worried when we never heard back from you." His mind drifted over the brief silence; he vaguely recalled the blonde having stopped by, and wondered silently why she hadn't told the Turk. Perhaps it had something to do with their conversation… "I'll let you go back to sleep, but I need you to come up to the medical wing."
"…Now?" Reno asked dumbly.
"Unfortunately, yes, Reno," the director said sympathetically. "We want to conduct sleep studies over the next three nights."
"You got it," the redhead sighed, hanging up his phone. He sat up, slinging his legs over the side of the bed as he rubbed his eyes. Distantly, he wondered if this is how it felt subconsciously during the experiments with Hojo… Being poked, prodded, examined, studied…watched day-in and day-out.
What a dream… But to be frank, it didn't really make sense; him killing Elena with the director watching…a shimmering pool of water, light dancing over the still surface… Maybe his mind was just over-active…a reaction to the Mako, or something. Reno shook his head, standing as he pulled on a pair of pajamas. If they were going to watch him sleep, he was at least going to be comfortable. Feet slipped into a pair of slippers and he put his phone in the pocket on the front of his shirt. He pulled the robe on over the flannels, tying it loosely.
Absently, he locked his door and stepped onto the elevator. He felt his eyes trying to sink closed as he stood still, but he forced himself awake. Instead, he focused on the digital numbers above the brushed steel doors. They descended, finally stopping at the medical floor. Noiselessly, they slid open, and the director waited on the other side.
"Thank you for coming down, Reno," he said, leading him to one of the open rooms. "I really appreciate –"
"No offense, but save it," Reno said, sitting on the stiff mattress. "Let's just get this over with."
"Without the moonlight, there can't be days where we can start all over again."
Quotes from: Without the Sunshine by the Leo Project.