Edited 1. 6. 2015.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Also, some conversation I took from the manga directly, so I don't own that either.

Sakura was standing behind them, and besides, everyone was looking at the redhead. So, she realized with horror, she was the only one who could see the sand. It was erratically slithering around them, and a part of her mind wondered where it had come from. But the larger part of her mind was too preoccupied with icy fear. She could almost feel the sand's harsh touch on her arms and legs. It was just like in her dream and she was again in that meadow being chocked and scratched and killed. The same fear rampaged inside her and she almost screamed. She harshly brought herself to the present but the sand was still there.

She felt panic bubbling up inside her. She tore her eyes from the strange boy to look down at herself. The sand was circling her as well, and as she tried to take a step back, it tightened around her ankle. She was shaking uncontrollably, her mind a complete blank. Her eyes snapped up to face the one she was sure was controlling the terror.

He was staring at her. In a moment she thought he could smell her fear, but that was ridiculous, wasn't it? And yet he was looking at her, his sand was squeezing her and she wanted to cry. Her mind was going into overdrive and she wanted to be somewhere else, somewhere far away, she wanted to be safe, wanted it all to stop.

And it did. Maybe she had reached her breaking point, maybe it was something else, but as quickly as it came, her panic disappeared. Sakura knew that the sand was his doing, knew she was in terrible danger. But she wasn't shaking anymore, wasn't on the edge of tears. She was numb and as she looked into his eyes, all she could feel was resignation.

The sand tightened around her ankle, but she didn't scream. She didn't even try to struggle. That wasn't courage, no. She wasn't defiant, or angry. Sakura was just tired, completely wiped out with phantom weariness. She could only look at him and wait for his next move.

He looked surprised and his mask of indifference fell. His walls were back up again the next second, but that one short moment was enough for her to see. She saw a beast in human skin, full of bloodlust, with a desperate, unquenchable need to kill. But she saw something else beneath all of that. A glimmer of vulnerability, a flicker of pain and she had a sudden urge to help him.

It was so ridiculous, a hysteric giggle escaped her.

He couldn't have heard her, no normal person could've (though he was not a normal person, was he?) and still his gaze became tighter, burning her with its intensity. And then she felt the grip his sand had on her weaken, and she could move again.

She almost let out a sigh of relief, but he was still looking at her, his eyes smouldering. She nervously licked her dry lips and for a fraction of a second, his eyes flickered to her mouth, but then his stare was back to her eyes. She felt small and weak. She felt like prey.

But then, he gave an almost unnoticeable shake of his head, as if he was shaking something away. And his gaze slid away from her, to rest upon his companions.

"Losing yourself in a fight. How pathetic. Did you forget why we came to Konoha in the first place?"

His voice startled her. She was dazed and she could feel a dull throbbing at her temples. She had to make an effort to concentrate on what he was saying.

"Listen Gaara, they started it..."

The other boy's voice shook. He was visibly afraid of the redhead, and Sakura thought she ought to be surprised, they were teammates after all. But she wasn't shocked by his fear, after what she had experienced, she couldn't expect anything less.

The redhead's raspy voice cut through his team mate's rambling, "Shut up, I'll kill you."

Sakura thought she could see a few drops of sweat on the other boy's forehead.

"I'm s-sorry Gaara..."

"Y-yeah, I'm sorry t-too, r-really sorry," said the girl. Then she turned to the Konoha ninja and apologised again.

A whirlwind of sand surrounded the redhead and he disappeared, reappearing a few seconds later on the ground. He cut off the other two.

"It looks like we came here too early, but we didn't come to play."

His eyes slid to Sakura one more time, but it was only a casual look, and for that she was immensely glad. Then he turned away.

"Let's go."

His teammates immediately followed, not sparing any glances back as well. They looked relieved.

But Sakura suddenly started to panic. A huge part of her wanted to run home and lock herself in her room until she could be sure they left. But another part of her, a part that had always pushed her to study so much at the Academy, wanted to know. Before being a love-struck girl she was perceived as, she had always been analytical, a researcher who wanted to know why. So she wanted to figure that boy out, wanted to understand that glimmer of something else she saw in him. She was fascinated.

It was probably very stupid, and most certainly reckless, as she was well aware, but she couldn't stop herself. So she shouted, "Hey, wait!"

She was surprised at how strong her voice sounded. Much bolder than she felt. And the redhead turned around.

"What?" he said. She tried to figure out what he was thinking by the tone of his voice, but his voice was completely bland and impassive. And yet, still dark and menacing and powerful.

Then she realised she had to ask them something. She frantically thought and said the first thing that popped into her mind.

"You are ninja from the Hidden Sand village, right? You may be allied with the Leaf but it is forbidden to enter other villages without permission."

Sakura tried to make her voice sound impassive, but a slight tremor escaped her. Still, she was proud, for she sounded much better than she felt.

She was aware her question was unnecessary. They probably had a good reason they were in Konoha, as they weren't hiding their headbands. Still, now that she started, she had to stick with it.

"State your purpose," she continued, "depending on it, we may be able to let you go."

Sakura thought that the redhead would answer, as he seemed to be the leader. But he just gazed at her. The girl answered, with an ironic chuckle.

"Heh, talk about clueless," she took out a pass from her pocket and held it up do they could see it, "don't you know anything? Yes, we are genin from the hidden sand. We have come to your village to take the chūnin selection exam."

"Chūnin selection exam?" exclaimed Naruto, fight forgotten. He was back to his usual self, sounding excited.

The girl started an explanation about the chūnin selection exam, sounding patronizing. Sakura already knew that, so her thoughts trailed away.

She had managed to keep them from leaving, but she hadn't learned anything. She looked at the redhead again. He was staring somewhere to the distance, looking almost bored. As if he could feel her looking at him, his head turned and his eyes met hers. She shuddered and quickly looked away. She regretted her decision of stopping them from leaving.

Sasuke's voice cut through Naruto's excited shouts, and the Sand girl's exasperated explaining, "Hey, what's your name?"

The girl blushed and Sakura felt a pang of jealousy, but then she saw that Sasuke's gaze was directed at the redhead.

"Sabaku no Gaara."

Sakura shuddered again. His voice was low and harsh.

"I'm also interested in your name?" he said, and Sakura almost thought he was talking to her, but he was returning Sasuke's stare.

Sasuke smirked.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

Two boys stared at each other, and the tension built. They were silently appraising one another, and Sakura began fearing that a fight would break out. And as much as Sasuke looked confident, she was sure he didn't have a smallest chance against Gaara.

But then Naruto's loud voice broke through the tension, and Sakura sighed in relief.

"Hey, what about me, huh?"

"Not interested," Gaara said, and spun around. "Let's go."

Sakura was extremely glad that he didn't look at her. She didn't think she could have handled it.

They were gone. She took a deep breath and tried to expel all the tension from her body, but it didn't work. Small tremors still shook her. She had to leave and curl up in bed and try to forget everything that had happened that day.

"Naruto, Sasuke-kun, I-I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow..."

She didn't receive and answer. She looked back and saw that both of them were concentrated on themselves, deep in thought. Any other time that would have left a bitter tang in her mouth, but she was just glad they hadn't noticed anything.

That night, Sakura couldn't sleep. When she got home, it took a calming bath and a romance book to still her frantic mind. Yet, she couldn't sleep, and every time she closed her eyes she saw that predatory stare. She could almost feel sand brushing against her legs and then she had to force herself to calm down.

Under all of that, she was ashamed. She was a ninja, and she wasn't supposed to be afraid. She was supposed to fight back. But all she could do was cower in fear.

With those thoughts swirling through her head, Sakura lay in bed for hours. Finally, she gave up on sleep. Sighing deeply, she sat up in bed. Thinking about what she could do, she came to a conclusion that maybe a walk would help her clear her head, and make her sufficiently tired, so she could sleep.

With mind made up, she dressed quickly and left the house. The street was empty and strangely calm. The night itself was beautiful with stars shining and a light breeze that ruffled Sakura's hair.

She didn't know where to go, so she just took off in a random direction. The peacefulness of the night calmed her, and her thoughts drifted, finally not fixated on the events of the previous day. She walked around Konoha aimlessly, until she arrived in front of a training ground she had never been to before. She had already been outside for a long time, and thought it was maybe time to go back, when she heard whimpers. They were so quiet that she at first thought she had imagined them, but as they gradually became louder, she tried to find the source.

The training ground was barren and forlorn, and seemed abandoned. Sakura could see a figure crouching near the base of an oak tree, at the far end of the training ground. The scene was a bit eerie, and she shivered.

Her curiosity overpowered her caution, and she approached the tree. She could feel sand crunching under her sandals and a sense of dread filled her. The figure was rocking back and forth. Hands clutched strands of red hair, familiar blood red hair she had seen just earlier that day. She froze.

Icy tendrils of fear gripped her heart. She slowly took a step back, her head already filled with escape plans. But then he let out another whimper, which made her pause. He was in pain, she realised.

"Gaara-san," she whispered, cautiously. The boy gave no indication of hearing her, continuing to rock back and forth and clutch his head. Curiosity flared in her again.

She hesitantly took a step forward and then another, bolder one. On her third step, the sand rose in front of Gaara, blocking her way.

"Stay away from me!" his voice was raw, scratchy.

Sakura almost listened to him, almost ran away. But a part of her couldn't, wouldn't leave a person suffering. She tried to reach him again, but the sand was hard as stone. And even if she did reach him, she wouldn't know what to do, she realised.

She called his name, a little louder than the first time. Then she fell back, startled, as the sand suddenly began moving around him.

She wrestled her fear and panic under control, barely. She rose to a half crouch, took a deep breath, and pushed her hand through the sand. As it was moving, it wasn't as solid and her hand could pass through. The sand was sharp and Sakura hissed in pain, but her hand didn't stop. She managed to reach him, and she gripped his arm. He made a noise, something between a growl and a whimper and tried to shake her hand away. She didn't budge.

"Gaara-san, please, calm down," she said, almost desperately. She didn't know what to do.

At the sound of her voice, his head, finally, snapped up. His eyes bore into hers, sea-foam into emerald, and Sakura almost lost her resolve. But she was too far to back out, and she persisted. His eyes were swirling with so many emotions which she couldn't place; they were almost animal-like.

She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but... Her vision suddenly swam, and her eyes closed, almost against her will.

A small playground. A little boy sitting on a swing, dejectedly, clutching a ragged teddy bear. He stared at the other end of the playground, his gaze filled with longing.

There, a lot of other children were playing a game. They were laughing and shouting, not noticing the small figure on the swing.

Suddenly, one of the boys in the group kicked the ball they were using harder than intended, and it ended on the roof of a nearby building. The kids surrounded the building, but with no way of reaching the ball, shouts of disappointment filled the air.

Eyes of the little boy followed the ball. He half extended his hand, and sand rose from the ground, collecting around the ball. It rose in the air, then, and glided smoothly right into the hands of the boy on the swings. He stood up, made a few steps forward, and offered the ball to the kids, expression hopeful.

The other kids at first only stared at him, some trembling. Then the spell broke, and one boy spun around shouting, "It's Gaara, run!"

They all frantically followed the first one, running as fast as they could.

The boy with the ball shouted after them, desperately, "Wait! Don't leave me alone!"

The others ignored him. The ball fell to the ground as the boy raised both of his arms, reaching out. Sand followed the path of his hands, pouring after the kids. It crashed into a girl, her cry of pain piercing the night.

Then the scene changed.

The same little boy nervously knocking on a door, clutching a paper bag. When the door opened, he extended the bag in front of himself, eyes squeezed shut, whispering out an apology. His eyes quickly snapped open when he heard a bang. The door was shut in his face.

The scene shifted again.

The boy repeatedly tried to cut himself with a knife, but a barrier of sand intercepted the blade every time. A man with short brown hair entered the room, finding the child fighting a losing battle with the sand.

"How does it feel when it hurts?" the boy asked.

The adult answered him, but the scene already started to fade. The look of love and admiration the boy sent the man was still visible. And also his small smile.

Then there was a roof. The silver light of the moon illuminated the face of the boy. He was sitting on the edge of the roof, staring at the sleeping city, lost in thought. Seeing movement from the corner of his eye, he spun around, a wall of sand already in place in front of him. It was as thick as concrete, but the kunai aimed at the boy were enveloped by the sand easily. The boy's face contorted in anger, and with a sharp flick of his wrist, kunai flew back at the assassin, followed by the sand. The assassin fell to the ground with a hollow thud.

The child's anger seeped out of him, and he almost fearfully stepped to the attacker. He slowly reached out a shaking hand, grasping the cloth that hid the assassin's identity. The young boy's expression slid from fear to shock.

Disbelievingly, he stared at the person in front of him, the person who tried to kill him.

"Impressive, Gaara-sama," the man softly said.

The boy's eyes opened even more, and then snapped shut. He screamed, a high-pitched, boyish scream that conveyed beastly, unimaginable pain. Betrayal.

He fell to his knees, and then curled into a foetal position, hands pulling at his hear. Tears rushed out of his eyes, falling to the floor, mixing with the man's blood.

"Yashamaru... Why...? Why you...?" he whispered, repeating almost meaningless words, voice weak and trembling.

"You... You were always... Only you were my..."

"I was ordered to assassinate you. By your father, Kazekage-sama," rasped the man, in between coughs that splattered blood down his chin.

The boy keened softly, tears still running down his face. He was panting, unable to catch his breath, his hands clenched into tight fists. Sand trembled on the ground around them, but didn't rise.

"You were born to be possessed by the demon Shukaku, however, you are yet unable to control him. We simply couldn't let your existence become dangerous to the village itself."

The boy flinched at those words, but something the man said made him look up.

"But... Then... You were ordered... You had to do it!" corners of his lips curled upwards, in a heartbreakingly hopeful expression.

"No, you are mistaken," the man said, and the boy froze, "I could have declined the order if I wanted to. Gaara-sama, deep down... I must have always... resented you. You stole the life of my sister. She never wished to give birth to you. She didn't love you, and neither did I."

The boy was by then shaking, strong tremors wracking his body. Sand on the ground shook as well, in resonance with the boy. Still the man on his deathbed soldiered on.

"Gaara-sama... Your mother gave you that name, as a demon who loves only himself. She wanted you to live only for yourself. Fight only for yourself."

The man coughed again, as more of his life left him.

"You were never loved."

The man's eyes met the boy's, disbelieving eyes clashing with resigned ones.

"That is it. Please die," he struggled out, in a breath. He didn't breathe again.

For a second the boy stared dumbly at the corpse, at the unseeing eyes that once regarded him with love.

Then the body exploded, tags planted on the man's chest activating.

When the smoke cleared, the boy remained where he was, surrounded by a globe of sand. The explosion hadn't touched him.

He let out a sound that was between a moan and a growl. Then his head rose, and he roared.

The sound was more animal than human, and it conveyed in part pain and in part anger. But it was more than that. It represented a person descending into madness.

The sand rose, reared as if sentient, and then poured down. It cut into the boy's forehead savagely, but precisely. When it rose, a bloody tattoo was carved there, kanji for love. Blood glistened on the moonlight, pouring down the boy's face, mixing with his almost dried tears. The wound healed quickly, but the scar remained. Representing his first physical injury, but also something more.

It represented a death of a boy, and a birth of a monster.

The scene faded from view, but another didn't appear.

Instead, small glimpses and impressions spun through the darkness.

Dead bodies falling, blood, pain, anger, hatred, blood, squishing the pain, endless days of existence. Whispers of destruction stronger every day, not fighting them but following them. Fighting everything else killing everyone and crushing and liking it. Screams of pain, eyes filled with fear and loathing. Liking the killing, revelling in it. Something akin to love rising every time a life left a body. Blood everywhere on his body, not his blood but does it really matter whose blood it is if it's red and warm and comforting. No more pain on the surface, just enjoyment and death. More whispers becoming orders when he didn't listen to them but he did because he loved them and he loved the killing and he loved his existence and he was goodgoodgood not bad but powerful and he had a reason to live he didn't need anyone. And more blood it's always there inside and outside it's his everything is his he is powerful. He had the voice the whispers and the killing and the blood and the screams and the blood and

Sakura opened her eyes with a start, a scream caught in her throat. She was trembling and her hands were clammy. She wasn't sure where she was, she was disoriented and her head was pounding with an awful headache. She swayed, falling to her knees from the crouch she was in. Sakura bit her lip so hard that blood trickled down her chin, but it helped her ground herself. Soft grass woke her to reality, and she realised she was still in the park, kneeling in front of Gaara. Then with growing horror she remembered what she saw, what she felt.

The onslaught of information expelled all the breath out of her and she wheezed, but her thoughts were too preoccupied. It was all so horrible, so appalling and so foreign to her; she didn't know what to do.

The world swayed and panic filled her. She dug her blunt nails into the soft earth, but her trembling only intensified. Her teeth chattered, and she shook her head back and forth, trying to expel the memories, trying to forget. Wishing she had never walked out of bed that night, had never met the redhead in front of her, had never become a ninja. She couldn't deal with this, she didn't know how.

Preoccupied with her panic, she almost didn't hear a raspy groan. But she did, and eyes that she hadn't even known were closed snapped open.

Gaara was looking at her, the haze of unconsciousness in his stare clearing. Confusion turned to anger, his expression contorting in rage.

"What have you done to me?" he roared, sand rising around them.

"N-no..." Sakura shook her head frantically, "I didn't, I didn't do anything."

Her whole body trembled.

If Gaara heard her, he didn't give any indication. He bared his teeth in rage, and sand surrounded Sakura.

"You did something to me. I'll kill you!"

"No!" Sakura repeated, and something inside of her snapped. She had reached her breaking point, and she started shouting, words tumbling out of her mouth.

"I didn't want this! I don't want this! I... I don't want to know your past or your reasons. I didn't need an explanation. I can't deal with this! You should be a monster; I don't want to understand you! Why did you show me?"

At one point she started crying uncontrollably, almost in hysterics. Her whole body shook, tremors that wracked her even stronger than before.

Suddenly spent, Sakura's shoulders slumped, and she curled into herself.

"I shouldn't want to help you," she said helplessly, so quiet that she wasn't sure he heard her. She hoped he hadn't.

She wanted to stand up, to escape to her room, hide in her bed and forget everything. But she was just so tired. And so she remained. She hugged her legs to her chest, buried her face in her knees, and small sobs escaped her.

Through Sakura's monologue, Gaara stayed silent. He stared at her, body frozen, sand unmoving. His breathing was ragged, and anger still dominated his features, but it was laced with confusion. When Sakura quieted, his head cocked to a side, as if listening to something.

After a time, the flow of Sakura's tears ebbed, and her sobs stopped. She slowly raised her head and met Gaara's gaze. Tears made her face shine in the moonlight. She felt resigned.

"What are you waiting for?'' she said in an almost whisper. Gaara's mouth opened for a fraction of an inch, but he didn't reply.

"Go ahead," Sakura continued, "kill me. I know too much now, right?"

A part of her screamed at her to run, but a larger part just wanted it all to end. So she closed her eyes and braced herself, tensing. Even then, when she heard his voice she flinched.

"Are you not afraid?" Gaara asked, voice hesitant as if he couldn't believe that it was him who said it. Sakura looked at him, but his expression was unreadable.

"I'm terrified", Sakura confessed, voice trembling.

"Why don't you hate me, then?" Something in his gaze hardened.

"I-I don't know. I guess I understand you too well now to be able to hate you," Sakura said honestly. The night's events drained her, and she was too numb to control what she said. Absently she thought she might be in shock.

At her answer, Gaara's eyes widened for a second, after which his face was back to being unreadable. Sakura almost thought she had imaged the boy's expression of surprise. He was stoic, all traces of anger gone, and it made Sakura shudder.

Gaara cocked his head again, listening to something she couldn't hear, and Sakura froze. He was talking to his demon, she realised. Shukaku, her mind unhelpfully provided. It must be so frightening to have a demon be able to talk to you whenever. She clenched her fists. She should stop feeling bad for him. He was a monster, and he was going to kill her. But she couldn't make herself stop.

"He likes you."

Sakura's head snapped up. She couldn't believe what she had heard. Gaara was looking at her with an expression she couldn't place and she opened her mouth to say something, but she changed her mind and closed it with a snap.

Gaara shook his head as if clearing it, and disappeared in a swirl of sand.

Sakura looked dumbly at the place where he had just been sitting. She slowly blinked, trying to sort out through her spinning emotions.

She was alive, she detachedly realised. She didn't really want to die, but he should have killed her, she was so sure. And he just... left.

She slowly stood, as her thoughts spun in circles. It was late, she realised, really late. So much time had passed and she wasn't sure how.

Sakura couldn't process everything that had happened, too much had and she was too tired. So she forcefully blanked her mind, and headed home. When she arrived, she headed straight to bed and instantly fell asleep, not noticing particles of sand that moved when she had stepped over them.

Thank you for reading, please tell me what you think! This probably has a few mistakes, point them out if you see them.

Elya