(a flicker of light)

The Forest of Death loomed before them. Sakura shuddered. They stood in front of the gate, their gate, and she was afraid. This, this was what the Chuunin exams were all about. Not a paper test, even though they could be scary as well, as she had witnessed the day before.

It had been so easy for her. She was smart, she had always known that, and the answers came to her effortlessly. That gave her confidence, confidence in the abilities she didn't have. Now, hearing about the dangers, seeing the giant trees and the darkness of the forest, all her confidence came crashing down.

(a blade)

Sakura heard Naruto's voice that cut through her thoughts.

"I had the best dream last night," he said, to no one in particular, "Ichiraku moved to my living room, and…"

A dream, Sakura thought. What had she dreamt of, the last two nights? A sliver of a memory, a flash of fear. She almost grasped it but… it slid away. It wasn't even important, she tried to convince herself. Was it?

The gates slid open. Sakura steeled herself, quelled her barely there trembling, and followed her team into the forest.

"A nightmare," a voice in her head whispered. She wasn't sure if it was referring to her dream or what lay ahead of them. Or both.

(a drop of blood)

The dark of the forest enveloped them quickly. Sakura felt as if they left the sunny streets of Konoha far away. As if they entered a whole new unforgiving world, where everything was against them. That wasn't that far of the mark, she thought.

She gave a start, and quickly looked around. That scream… Surely she couldn't have imagined it? But no, both Naruto and Sasuke were wary, tense.

"That was…" she swallowed, "a human scream, right?"

She didn't really need their confirmation; she just had to say it out loud.

(a scream)

The dense foliage felt claustrophobic. The sun was barely visible, and even where it was, the light seemed ominous. Sakura needed a distraction, anything, and so her thoughts wandered to the written part of the exam.

She had been proud of herself. She knew that feeling very well, had felt it many times when she viewed the results of one test or other. She had always been smart, and she had always been aware of it. There was always that small, haughty part of her that deemed her better than the rest, because she knew all of the shinobi rules by heart, or because she could calculate the optimal kunai trajectory in minutes. But knowing the answers hadn't been the whole point of the exam. Information gathering… Oh, how she had failed at that. After she had realized that, her pride had all but disappeared.

But thinking about the exam tempted her mind with thoughts that she wanted to avoid. Desperately. The boy from Sand intrigued her, she could admit that much to herself at least, but he also scared her. Terrified her. She could've sworn she felt eyes on her back for the most of the test, but every time she had risked a glance back, his eyes were averted. Many times, she caught herself wishing that the exam was over, or that she had never entered in the first place. But it was too late now, and she steeled herself to give it her all. (and hope she was lucky enough to survive)

(a dangerous chuckle)

She heard an unzipping sound and quickly turned around.

"Naruto! What do you think you are doing?" she half screamed, half whispered, remembering herself at the last moment and lowering her voice, "do that in the bushes!"

A sheepish Naruto with his fly half unzipped quickly scampered out of sight.

Sakura stole a glance at Sasuke out of the corner of her eye. He was staring into the distance with disinterest. They were alone now… She sighed, hands tightening into fists. Out of habit, Sakura opened her mouth, but then quickly closed it, no sound coming out.

The air felt heavy, pressing at her from all sides. She worked hard to suppress her shudders, she didn't want Sasuke to notice anything. What was wrong with her? She needed something to distract her.

(fear)

"That was great, so much came out! I feel so good now."

Something was wrong, was the first feeling Sakura had. But everything felt wrong, so she ignored it. After all, there came her distraction.

"What did I tell you, Naruto?" she shouted, fist drawn back for a punch.

This was their almost-routine, so when Sasuke's usual scoff didn't come, Sakura glanced at him in muted surprise.

She staggered back mid punch, because Sasuke wasn't looking at them derisively, or not looking at them at all. No, he was staring at Naruto, eyes narrowed. Looking suspicious.

"Sasuke-kun, wha-", Sakura didn't get to finish her sentence, as Naruto was sent flying by Sasuke's punch.

Hands instinctively going to her kunai pouch, Sakura froze indecisively. What was going on? She itched to move, to help, but… What could she do? And more importantly, who should she help?

"Sasuke, what was that for?" shouted an indignant Naruto, picking himself up from the ground.

Sakura opened her mouth to demand an explanation as well, but Sasuke beat her to it.

"Drop the act. You are not Naruto. Your kunai holster is on your left leg, and Naruto is right handed. Also, you're missing the cut on the cheek Naruto got just before the exam. Give me a break," scoffed Sasuke, "at transformations you are even worse than Naruto."

So observant, thought Sakura with awe. But then again, being observant was part of their job. Being a ninja meant being always aware of their surroundings, constantly looking underneath the underneath. And she had failed at that as well. She was supposed to be smart, that was her forte. When would she stop failing at everything there was to being a ninja? That kind of basic mistake could cost her her life, next time.

(a splatter of blood)

Clashing of weapons startled her, and she looked up just in time to see the foreign ninja's charge towards her. Hands formed into seals, but her tongue felt heavy. Her mind blanked.

The few seconds until the enemy could reach her turned into eternity and Sakura resigned herself to the inevitable, her eyes squeezing shut. But impact never came.

(a sharp edge meeting soft flesh)

Startled eyes opened, meeting the scene of Sasuke and the foreign nin locked in a taijutsu match. Sakura looked away, ashamed. She bit her lip until it bled – but her legs wouldn't move. A ninja? She wasn't a ninja. She was useless, a failure. She couldn't defend herself, couldn't fight, so what was she good for? She couldn't join the battle. What a joke, she thought.

"We need a password," Sasuke stated, crouched in front of them.

"A password? What kind of password?" Naruto exclaimed, as if they were just strolling through the village, not in the middle of a deadly forest.

How could he be so… oblivious? Sakura wondered. But then again, he wasn't the one who froze up in the previous battle. While Sasuke explained the concept to Naruto, Sakura's mind wandered. Wasn't it a bit unsafe to declare the password so obviously? But Sakura wouldn't, couldn't trust her instincts anymore. A promotion? She would be happy to get out of the exam alive. She was willing to follow Sasuke and his plan, because it probably meant survival.

Sakura wasn't really afraid. She was more… numb. And tired. She just wanted everything to be over, so that she could curl under her blankets and pretend everything was alright. Or maybe cry. Yeah, crying wouldn't be so bad. She just had to survive the forest.

Feeling a dull pain in her fingers, she looked down. And folded her fingers in her lap, carefully ignoring finger-shaped holes and traces of blood left in the dirt. She almost wished her hands would shake.

And then it struck. Head snapping up, she could see Sasuke jumping for cover, as well as Naruto's startled blue eyes. It was gone in an instant, and she was airborne.

The shock of something hitting her pulled her out of her self-pitying state, and her mind went into overdrive.

Wind, was her first thought, followed by a bunch of useless information about winds in Konoha. She squashed that train of thought. No normal wind could squeeze all air from her lungs, and launch her into the air. That was a jutsu. That thought chilled her, but she didn't have much time to contemplate it, as she saw a huge trunk of a tree quickly approaching her. The wind had caught her at her side, and she was nearing the tree sideways. She was aware that if she let herself impact it, the result would be at least a few broken bones, if she were lucky.

She was already lucky, not hitting anything before that. She pushed that useless though away, concentrating on surviving. Suddenly, her apathy was gone, her mind whizzing. She couldn't let herself be killed by a gust of wind, she wouldn't.

With an effort, Sakura turned herself so she was facing the tree. She pulled out a kunai, and tried to slow her momentum by dragging it through trees and branches that she passed, but the unnatural wind still pushed at her back, not weaning. She wasn't strong enough to anchor herself against it.

Panic started to blossom. She needed a plan, something, anything. She couldn't die getting crushed against a tree trunk! But no plan was forthcoming. So she tucked her legs up to her chin, and curled herself in a ball, which made the soles of her feet face forward. And at the last possible moment, desperately, she channeled chakra to her feet.

The impact rattled her bones. Sakura felt tears welling up in her eyes, but it was more from shock than from pain. She was shaking all over, and tentatively, she uncurled herself. She tasted blood, and she hoped it was only from her bitten tongue. Nothing felt broken, but she wasn't sure. She didn't feel much anyway. Standing up, she inwardly thanked Kakashi-sensei for drilling tree walking. Without her instinctive reaction, she would have been laying flattened on the ground. At least he taught them one useful thing, she thought bitterly, then caught herself. Where did that come from?

Belatedly, she realized she was standing in a small crater. Did she do that, with her chakra? Whatever she did, it had probably saved her life. But before she could continue her train of thought, she felt something, and jumped back. Kunai hit the tree branch right where she had been standing. She looked up.

And the bad feeling hit her back full force.

(maniacal laughter)

"Well, well, well," the foreign ninja taunted, "what do we have here?"

It was only a lone ninja, not a whole team, but to Sakura it didn't bring much comfort. Her fingers went to her weapons pouch, but her hand froze midway. Her whole body trembled.

"I wonder if your teammates would give the scroll to a weak thing like you? Well, it wouldn't hurt to check," the ninja smiled, an ugly jagged scar at the corner of his mouth catching the light. "After all, this exam has been terribly boring so far. I need some fun."

Sakura's vision was blurry from tears, she couldn't make out the foreign nin's forehead protector. She was just so tired. And not just physically, though her chakra was far from full. She was tired from being scared. From feeling self pity. But every time she thought that, her mind returned to the same thing. What could she do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Sakura's knees buckled from defeat, and she almost fell. But at that moment the enemy decided to strike, and Sakura's instincts kicked in. She jumped back, and her eyes darted around, frantically trying to find an escape. But the foreign nin was upon her, and she had to change direction mid-jump, barely dodging. She clumsily found footing on the nearby branch, stumbling and catching herself with chakra.

A whistling sound was her only warning, and she reached for her pouch, but there wasn't enough time so she slid to the left, escaping all shuriken but one, that left a shallow gash on her arm.

Her analytical mind, her only strength, couldn't help her in this situation, she realized with the small part of her mind that wasn't occupied with jumping and dodging. It could if she were trained to think and plan in combat situations, but Academy ingrained them with instincts, while it honed their minds for calm, tactical thinking. The fast thinking was something they learned on the go. And she hadn't had a chance, nor the desire to learn it. And now she was dead.

She was barely scrambling with defense, she couldn't even think of a counterattack. So it was only a matter of time before an attack hit her. Ducking under a barrage of shuriken, she lost track of the enemy. The next thing she felt was a stabbing pain in her thigh.

The kunai was lodged deep into her leg, the tip scraping bone. She wanted to scream, but her throat was too tight, so she just whimpered.

"There you go, girl. Don't cry too much," the nin grinned maliciously, "or do".

She tried to scramble back, but every step made bile rise up in her throat. She had had her fair share of scrapes, but never something like this. Her eyes burned, but she resolved not to cry.

The enemy stalked towards her, his grin still in place, teeth showing. Her back hit the tree trunk. She trembled.

He was older than her, she realized. The scar beside his mouth wasn't the only one, his arms were criss-crossed with silvery lines. His eyes were brown. He wasn't agile, but he was full of brute strength. Her brain ran in different directions, her thought full of useless information.

In the last act of panic, she fumbled for a kunai, but he was already upon her, pinning her hand to the tree with one of his own knives. This time she did scream, a shrill sound that did nothing to stop her pain.

"I don't have the scroll," Sakura whispered, her voice hoarse. She felt wetness on her cheeks, realizing that she did end up crying.

"I didn't think so. But that doesn't stop me from having some fun," he slowly leaned towards her, his lips by her ear, "you scream lovely."

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, trying to escape, at least in her mind. But she couldn't, and her whole body tensed, waiting for impact.

The nin was wrenched away from her.

(blood and saliva)

Feeling almost detached from herself, Sakura averted her eyes from the bloodbath in front of her. She flinched, but only barely, when a few stray drops of blood flicked her face. She surveyed her body, and her injuries. Numerous shallow cuts and bruises adorned her arms, but those could be ignored. Mechanically, with her free hand, she yanked out the kunai that still pinned her palm to the tree. The pain was there, but she ignored it in the haste of pulling out and wrapping the standard issue bandages around the injury. It was hard with only one hand, and with the strong flow of blood that poured out and dripped down her fingers, but with the help of her teeth in tying the knot, she managed to messily, but successfully, bandage her arm. She wondered if it would scar…

Her leg enjoyed the same attention, this time made easier by the use of both hands. The pain of pulling out the kunai didn't even detect, this time. Still not looking in front of her, she slid down, her back warm against the tree bark. She was so tired, she detachedly thought. Her mind buzzed with thoughts, but none of them really registered. Her arms shook, a bit, and she hugged her knees to her chest. She was so tired.

And then the screaming (finally) stopped.

"Why are you here?" she whispered, knowing he would hear. Her voice sounded… empty, even to her own ears. Then he was in front of her, suddenly, no scratch anywhere on his body. His green eyes piercing hers. Like the sea, she though, feeling far away.

He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but then closed it shut. There was something in his eyes, an emotion that she should know, but she was too tired, and too not-there, to try and figure it out.

"Why did you save me?" she asked again, this time some emotion finding her voice. She thought she could hear a beginning of hysterics in there. It should worry her, she knew, but she just…

He was looking at her, and then he was kneeling in front of her. Their knees almost met. She wondered what it would feel like to feel his skin on hers, would she disappear? She felt not- there still, and his skin looked so soft…

She looked up again, just in time to see him leaning towards her. Would he try to kiss her? she wondered. (what? why would she think that?) But she was not-there, and he was there, and maybe it would feel nice? But his lips missed hers by a mile, and was that disappointment (fear), that she felt? And then there was a wet sensation on her cheek, followed by a light stinging. He was licking a cut on her cheek, she realized. She wanted to flinch back, wanted to lean forward, but she just knelt, unmoving. His tongue was raspy, and warm… (what are you doing? run run run)

A small sigh escaped her, and he stumbled back, as if burned, his eyes wide and panicked, meeting hers, startled ones.

"What are you doing to me?" he asked, that something in his voice.

She should have told him to back off, she didn't know what he was talking about, she wasn't doing anything to him, he was the one stalking her… But those words didn't belong to her at that moment, they weren't welcome on that branch with the dark forest around them. And she was still not-there, and her cheek was warm and wet, so she just said: "I don't know. But I don't think I mind. Do you?"

Her voice sounded foreign, but the words felt somehow right.

He looked at her, and something flickered in his eyes, and his lip almost quirked up. And then he left, in a swirl of sand.

And she was left kneeling on a tree branch, still not-there, her cheek warm and wet, her injuries hurting but she couldn't feel them. There was a dismembered body on the forest floor below her, and she was alone.

(and she was still not screaming. she wasn't sure she remembered how)

AN: There you go. Sorry for the long wait, I am planning to finish this story, but it will be slow. There are many mistakes, I'm sure, so if you see something, please tell me. Thank you for reading!