Edward Elric Discovers Fanfiction!
Wow. I got the majority of my reviews in less then fifty hits. Thank you so much! It really makes me feel warm a fuzzy dear fans.
Alright! I feel guilty if I don't say this in the beginning. This chapter still only introduces Sarah Lee but you guys are coming. I have a whole freakkin' chapter planned with like… 2/3 of you being able to fit in it. As for the rest third, I shall kidnap you and put you in storage for the next next chappie. Yes, sorry again.
This is for Sarah Lee, after her Society Environment test and all those others who had it too. You did fine!
Yes, I am sick as I write this. I still went rowing in a regatta and loved it.
OoO
Edward strains out of the corner of his eye.
Roy's hands lie at his side, his chest sighs as he waits for Fullmetal to resume his work. He is an ant in Taisa's eyes, scurrying and twitching around to hide the screen with his puny mass. He should not be afraid to write about fanfares in Ishbal – it couldn't have been an ant's fault.
Feeling glare penetrating his tiny head, Edward decides to minimise Fanfiction in resolution to start typing his second line on his report document, typing … Ishball's fanfares were colourful like light rainbow confetti streamers that spray as if from a whale's blowhole.
Edward leans back on his chair. That was a good start.
Alt+tab.
Edward chews on Kit Kat. He wants a break. O Seriously, what is with this going to a gay spa business? Curiosity. His mouse hovers over the 'slash' link but his pride freezes him. His eyes waver then goggled at the author. DANGIT TRAITOR. Furious and print-screening the pixels, he pastes the data onto Paint saves it as P.T.S.L.I.T.M.C. which could stand as 'Proof that Sarah Lee is taking morphine crack' but cunningly able to fool his superiors as 'Pictures taken since little Ishbal took military crap'. They were both quite similar in a way.
Um, okay.
Returning to the webpage and shutting one scared eye, he clicks on the link.
The catastrophic words flooded the page as flashes of 'gay' and 'shoving a tube up your ass' appears. To Edward… it looks like this:
HORRORSTHEHORRORSTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHO
HORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORR
HORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHgayspaEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHE
HORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORR
ORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTH
EHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEwhat's colon cleansing? HORRORTHEHOR
HORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORR
ORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORshove a pipe up your assTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHE
RRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORROR
THEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEH
ORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRORTHEHORRO
RTHEHORRORSTHEHORRORSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Wow. Horror never looked so good with colon cleansing. Yeah right!
Drop Menu.
'Submit a Review'.
Quickly typing,
IH4te uyu!11oneoenONEONe2 u r sz0 ded cheezcake1z1!111! D34d m33t Isay!1!az!
An eager submission.
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24 hours. Dangit, dangit. That was a long time for fury! He muddles his eyes shut and opens them quickly. Uuuh. Shit?
Yes, shit.
Edward just reviewed something on fanfiction, right? Fishface. "Don't you need a user for that!" Edward gasps and clamps his mouth.
"Need a user for what?" Roy demands.
"U-uh… err, the military website. the military website!"
"No, you don't. You just need a –"
"Oh–"
"– password is thecolonelwantsminiskirts. Alright? I can't believe you forgot that. I told you just yesterday – the whole lot of you – hoping that it can actually be drummed in: the colonel wants MINISKIRTS!" Roy paces around the room like a madman. He marvels about this military flaw. Why wasn't Hawkeye or Ross in those dang miniskirts yet? His mouth twitches disapprovingly. Feeling flush and hot, Roy fans himself.
Yet when this was all happening, Edward gapes. At the screen, of course.
Just then he had clicked 'Login' and the statistics of the logged user exploded on the screen. And so did Edward's brain. That is why Edward does not move.
Roy lays a static hand on his shoulder.
"Fullmetal." He breathes in his ear. "Fullmetal, I'm still stripping. It's getting hot and my shirt's off."
Like.
If you like it enough.
I shall write more chapters.
I do have evil plans.