Okay. Thanks for your feedback. :)

Let's get straight into the fanfiction that I've procrastinated.

OoO

Roy isn't paying attention to the screen, but to Ed.

He takes off his intimidating hand and walks back to the couch. Sitting, he realises. "Fullmetal, you're not moving."

…

"Ed?"

…

Uuuh. Isn't this Taisa's fault? He creeps towards Fullmetal.

Waving around like Mary Poppins, Roy sings beautifully. "Hello? Hello? Hello? DOG OF THE MILITARY!" He dances around the boy like a village idiot burning up bits of dog meat and singing like Mary Poppins.

Edward's ears twitches.

"Woof? Woof?"

"What the hell? Fullmetal! Get a grip."

"Oh! Hi Roy." Edward alt-tabs fanfiction. "How are you? Let me answer that. Wow… you look tired. You should try out colon cleansing. Wanna go to a gay spa with me?"

…

Dear God! I think you can insert Roy's reaction here.

"Ed... are you alright?" He asks putting a hand on the other's forehead.

Edward shivers.

"G-gerroff yur hand offme…" He mumbles.

Roy shrugs and lifts his hand. "Whatevrrryur saahyyy." He mimicks very much like a drunken that just went for colon cleansing.

Edward pauses. "Did I really say 'colon cleansing'?"

Roy blushes and put a hand to his face. "Uh yeah," and adds to himself: "and something else too."

"I thought so. Wow, lucky you didn't agree. They shove a pipe up your ass."

Roy stumbles away and flops onto the couch. Edward is being so 'floofy'.

Edward peers around slowly. Good, the colonel's backed away. He sighs and flicks back to fanfiction. This stuff might be utterly disgusting, but it makes for really nice way to get around doing office work. He grins while investigating the 'Log in' page.

It turns out he's logged in as 'E. Elric if you're reading this you're a pervert'. Of course, she is probably a fan girl who never thought he would actually read it. Grimly thought.

Feeling half-dejected, he changes the pen name: 'E. Elric if you're reading this I'm a pervert'. Yay.

Meanwhile, flame alchemist on the couch is doused. Literally, smoke's rising from his head.

"Fullmetal. I'm going out for a while. Fresh air."

Alright! Edward swings, spins, twirls like Angelina Ballerina on his chair playfully seeing Roy every so often. Stop. "WHAT? Like that?"

"Like what? Like what? Oooh… shirtless. Yeah, why not?" Roy shrugs full of pride. "No one would be out in Central during a public holiday. There's a good reason why on this certain date you're held back, honey. You just haven't thought of it yet." He skims a hand through his hair. Edward is so lucky Roy can't do muscle ripples like Armstrong.

Oh well, time to break it to the poor old Taisa here. "Err, no. You're pantless too."

Men.

Roy glares down at his boxers. It didn't seem stripping minded little alchemist here. "I told you I'd be stripping!" He frowns and stares at Fullmetal for a moment. Then walks away to fresh air. In only his underwear.

Edward snickers for a plan sprouts.

Deftly, he sneaks towards Roy's pants. Confident to hide it somewhere, he stuffs it down the toilet. Of course, it won't be complete until he pisses on it himself. That damn Mustang! He deserves revenge… A glint of pink pricks his eye. He pulls the item out. Huh?

"A mechanical pencil?" He bursts out laughing. "With a pink bunny on top and the sides raining with bunny heads and look… oh shit…" Edward reads something scrolled on the side and stuffs the writing utensil into his pocket. No way!

Forgetting to pee on Mustang's clothes, Edward runs back to the computer.

He snatches out the mechanical pencil. Oh my gosh…

Roy Mustang isn't so outdated after all. Edward gulps.

Scrawled on the pencil is the url to a website where Fanfiction feeds off… err, fanfiction.

Sincerely by us.

Even more shocking, parallel presents his name embossed 'R. Mustang' and that means…

Edward puts a sick forehead on the computer desk.

Roy writes fanfiction too.

I feel off-and-on sick. Go me! Relax, relapse. Relax, relapse. Coma? Shit.

Oh, well can't let the reader's down so I hope you liked it. :)

Review, please?

If you like it enough.

I shall write more chapters.

Yes, you go do that. okay

I do have evil plans.