Yo TTJOD here with the 3rd chapter of Ten Tailed Jackal Of Doom. It's back to Konoha in this chapter along with Haku's fate, a little Sasuke and Sakura bashing and som humor. Enjoy!

Chapter 3; Back to Konoha and the Hole?

A few days later and Naruto was looking at himself in the mirror. What he was looking at is the small hole in the middle of his chest. It was a hole all the way through his body, with nothing between it. This hole confused the hell out of him and was weird as heck. He was looking at said hole through a window in Tazuna's bathroom. He sighing decided to put a shirt on, hoping that he could hide the hole from his sister. He walking out of the bathroom rolled his eyes spotting Sasuke standing outside of the bathroom with his arms crossed. Naruto asked "What do you want teme?"

Sasuke growling said "Give me your swords dobe."

Naruto giving the Uchiha the finger said "Kiss my ass Uchiha."

He then dodged the attack by the prick and kicked the boy hard in the beans. He ignoring the boy sliding to the floor walked down the stairs. He reaching the bottom rolled his eyes again as now the useless fan-girl was in his way. He asked "What do you want Sakura?"

Sakura scowling said "Give me Sasuke-kun's swords."

Naruto giving her the finger said "Suck my dick bitch."

Sakura screeching rushed him. He dodging her really sad attempt at attacking him pimp slapped her. He walking into the kitchen sat down and looked at Kakashi who was reading his smut. Naruto said "Kakashi-sensei I hope you have a plan."

Everyone blinked hearing him say this. Kakashi curious asked "Plan for what?"

Naruto lifting up his shirt to reveal the hole said "Plan on escaping my sisters wrath once she discovers this hole and learns of how I got it."

Kakashi staring at said hole quickly did a healing jutsu and tried to heal it. He blanched when that didn t work. He trembling asked "Can't you keep it a secret?"

Naruto shaking his head said "That won't work as she always knows when I am lying. Plus I kinda sleep without a shirt."

Kakashi hearing this started to cry. Naruto spotting the wide eyed Kurenai said "Don't worry Kurenai-sensei you can push all of the blame of Kakashi-sensei. Just say you wanted to turn back but Kakashi-sensei wanted to get Sasuke's Sharingan."

Kurenai hearing this blinked and smiled, ignoring how pale Kakashi got hearing this. Naruto then said "I'll even back your statement up and I'm sure Kiba, Shino and Hinata will help."

Kiba smirking said "Hell yeah. I got your back sensei."

Hinata blushing and poking her fingers together said "I got your back also Kurenai-sensei."

Shino pushing up his glasses said "It is most logical that I have your back."

Naruto clapping said "There you have it. We've got your back 100 percent and with four out of the six genin backing your statement, Nee-chan and the old man will take your side. "

Naruto then hearing soft footsteps turned his head and smiled at Haku, who he had talked too and comforted. She had got over Zabuza's death and too his shock started calling him Naruto-sama. He had tried multiple times to get her to stop, but she would pull out the puppy dog eyes and that would end the argument right there.

Haku feeling him smiling at her blushed and said "Good morning Naruto-sama. I am ready to leave if the rest of you are."

Naruto was about to say let s go, when he remembered the Uchiha and Haruno. He groaning said "We can't leave until the useless fan-girl and the prick recover."

Naruto's ear twitched when Sakura came into the room rage burning in her eyes and a red handprint on her face. She looking at him with murder in her eyes said "Naruto-baka."

Naruto giving her a deadpan look said "Useless fan-girl."

Sakura then screamed and charged at him. Everyone blinked when Sakura ended up colliding with the floor courtesy of Haku. Haku glaring at Sakura said "Useless fan-girl. You will not approach Naruto-sama like that again or I ll freeze you. "

Naruto hearing this blinked and said "That's new."

His ears then twitched again as Sasuke came down the steps. He glaring at Naruto with his one tomoe sharingan said "Dobe."

Naruto rolling his eyes said "Teme. "

Kakashi ignored all of this in favor of trying to come up with a way to not be killed by Yugao.

Both teams and Haku were now on their way back to Konoha, after hearing that the bridge was named after Naruto. Said boy was shirtless as Haku who had a healthy blush on her face looked over the hole he had. Kakashi was still trying to come up with a way to save his hide. Sasuke was glaring hot daggers at Naruto and planning on getting the civilian council to make Naruto hand over his swords. Sakura with a small blush on her face was glaring at Haku not liking or trusting the girl one bit. Kiba was picturing how jealous Hana was going to be when he told her about his mission. Hinata had a healthy blush on her face spotting her crush without a shirt. Shino was, well no one really knew what he was doing. Kurenai with a blush of her own was wondering how mad Yugao was going to be.

Naruto was actually talking to Izanami about getting he and Yugao a new home, or at least getting them a better apartment with more then one bed. All she was doing was giggling and it was starting to annoy him. He blinked when Haku said "Naruto-sama from what I can tell this hole is natural like your adorable whisker marks."

Naruto blinking said "My whisker marks are rather sensitive. Maybe this hole is. "

Haku and the others hearing this blinked. Haku, Hinata, Sakura and Kurenai then stored this info away for later, with Sakura not knowing why. Haku gently touching the skin around the hole blinked when Naruto started to giggle. She rubbing circles around the hole smirked when Naruto started to laugh. She doing this for a while smirked as Naruto just continued to laugh hard. She moving her hands away said "The skin around the hole seems to be ticklish Naruto-sama."

Naruto putting his shirt down wiped the tears from his eyes and said "Thanks for the info Haku-chan."

He then putting his hands behind his head closed his eyes. He then started to think of new jutsu asking the pack if they had any ideas.

The group would arrive in Konoha the next day with Sakura having another red hand print on her face, this one being from Haku for trying to hit Naruto. Naruto himself was fighting every urge in his body not to laugh at this. Sasuke was holding his privates, as Haku had frozen his beans and weenie when he had tried to force himself on her. Kurenai, Hinata and Haku were now glaring at the Uchiha with rage and hatred in their eyes. Sakura for some reason denied that it ever happened. Kiba was in the same boat as Naruto, as he found it hilarious that Sakura had another handprint on her face. Shino was ready to get this mission over with so he could get away from Sakura and Sasuke. Kakashi was now desperate for a way to avoid Yugao's wrath.

Naruto noticing that they were home said "Finally we're here."

Kurenai and Kakashi noticing this said "All right to the Hokage tower we go. Come on all of you."

Ten minutes later and they were standing in front of a curious Sarutobi. Naruto's nose could smell that his Nee-chan was in the room. Haku was very nervous now that she was in front of the Hokage. Naruto as if sensing this, grabbed her left hand and turned to her with a bright smile. This not only calmed her down, but made a huge blush spread across her face. She was easily able to ignore the killing intent sent her way by Hinata and Kurenai. Sarutobi ignoring this said "Report!"

Everyone in the room straightened up hearing the authority in his voice, except for Naruto who said "Oi old man. Get Nee-chan here for this one."

Sarutobi sweat dropped hearing this, as for some reason unknown to anybody his voice of authority had no effect on Naruto. Sighing he said "Cat please go fetch Yugao Uzuki."

Cat or Yugao nodding vanished in a swirl of leaves. She appeared in her street clothes with a clone taking her anbu position. She then bopped Naruto on the back of his head and asked "What have I told you about calling Hokage-sama old man?"

Naruto looking at her said "I don't know something about it being disrespectful to him or something like that. Honestly I don't really see the big deal. He's like 67 years old and is a grandfather. Last time I checked that was old, and he is a man so."

Everyone including Yugao's clone sweat dropped hearing this. Yugao bopping Naruto on the head again said "That's not the point. I taught you to respect your elders."

Naruto said "You also taught me to follow my gut, how to curse so bad a ship of sailors would blush, and that I need to cook for us otherwise we'd starve or get fat from takeout food."

Yugao with a twitching eyebrow said "First of all if I recall it was Anko who taught you how to curse and second it's not my fault I can't cook to save my life."

Naruto rolling his eyes turned to Haku and said

"I forgot to tell you Haku-chan. Nee-chan may be a super badass kunoichi that makes Kakashi-sensei look like a fresh out of the academy genin, but she honestly can't cook to save a life. I mean the first night after she saved me, she tried to cook ramen and burned the water."

Everyone in the room besides the blushing Yugao gained wide eye hearing this. Sakura leaning towards Hinata asked "How do you burn water?"

Sarutobi having heard the question coughed and said "I'll say this once more report!"

This time everyone snapped to attention. Then what happened on the mission was told and Naruto filled in about his death and meeting Izanami. By the time the report was finished, Yugao was staring blankly at the wall, while Sarutobi was staring blankly at Kakashi. Kakashi was sweating gallons at this, while Kurenai was glad that Naruto and her students had backed her story. Naruto looking at Yugao narrowed his eyes for about five seconds.

He then spotting something in her eyes said "Kakashi-sensei you should run now."

Kakashi hearing Naruto say this teleported away just as Yugao exploded with killing intent and rage. She was quickly followed by Sarutobi, but unlike Yugao he didn't teleport to chase down and do harm to Kakashi. Sarutobi coughing slightly said "Everyone is dismissed."

He then noticing Naruto waiving at him said "Except for Haku and Naruto."

Sasuke hearing this glared but left planning on talking to the council. Once everyone was out of the room, Naruto walked over to the couch and said "We need to wait until Nee-chan finishes harming Kakashi-sensei."

Sarutobi wondering why shrugged and went back to his paperwork, even handing some to Naruto, knowing that the boy would help. 30 minutes later and Yugao appeared back in the office still pissed off. Naruto looking up from a piece of paper talking about Sasuke's clan compound being sold. Stamped approved knowing that this was most likely Izanami's work. He asking "Kakashi retreated to his home didn't he?"

Yugao nodding said "He did, but I still got my revenge."

Naruto was at first curious until his nose caught a certain scent he had learned the hard way to be wary of. He blanching said "That's cruel and unusual punishment Nee-chan."

Yugao snorting said "No it's not. He got my precious little brother killed."

Sarutobi and Haku confused asked "What are you talking about?"

Naruto turning to Sarutobi said "Green beast and his clone."

Sarutobi shivered hearing this, while Haku was still confused. Naruto coughing said "Alright old man send the other anbu out beside the clone of Nee-chan in the corner and slap a privacy seal up."

Sarutobi confused did as Naruto asked. Naruto then gaining a serious look on his face said "What I'm about to show and tell you will shock and awe you. I'm also telling you this because knowing that little prick Sasuke, he's already gone to the civilian council to try and demand that I give him my swords. Whiny little bitch."

He then explained what happened before he saved Tsunami and Inari, he even summoned a member of the pack with each of the bloodlines he had unlocked and summoned his tails. Sarutobi with wide eyes spotting the jackal with the mokuton said "You've got to be shitting me."

Haku had passed out hearing that Naruto-sama was actually the son of the primordial goddess Izanami and that he had the Hyoton. Yugao was trying to pick her jaw up off of the ground. Naruto smiling said "I 'm not shitting you old man."

Sarutobi recovering pinched the bridge of his nose and said "I see why you informed us of this. I'm just gonna go ahead and put you in the CRA and make the Uzuki an official clan, with only you having bloodlines. I'm also going to place Haku under your protection and make your swords clan swords, including the Kubikiribocho since it still has your blood on it."

Naruto nodding said "Yeah about that. I tried everything to get the blood off so I could give the sword to Haku-chan or as a early birthday present to Nee-chan but the blood won t come off."

Sarutobi shaking his head said "That just helps the case that it s a clan sword."

Yugao having snapped out of her shock asked "How many wives will he have to have?"

Naruto blinking asked "What are you talking about?"

Yugao looking at him then explained the CRA to him. Naruto with wide eyes asked "What the fuck?"

Yugao ignoring this and turned to Sarutobi who for some reason had a perverted smirk on his face. Sarutobi chuckling with evil glee said "Naruto will have to have 2 wives for each bloodline he has, and unlocks in the future."

Naruto hearing this did the math and said "Old man you dirty old pervert that's 36 wives."

Sarutobi giggling said "Yes well those are the rules."

Naruto banging his head against the desk asked "How in the hell am I supposed to find 36 women that love me and are willing to marry me?"

He missed Haku shoot up hearing this and her to start blushing heavily. He also missed the dark blush that spread across Yugao's face. Sarutobi noticing both blushes chuckled and removed the seal just as an anbu appeared and told him that the council had gathered and that Naruto had been called before them. Naruto groaning said "I hate being right."

Sarutobi sighing stood up and said "Come on Naruto, Yugao, Haku let's go deal with the council."

Naruto groaned hearing this but followed the old man out of the room, along with a once again impassive Yugao and a nervous Haku.

Remeber To Review and inform me of your thoughts. Until next time all true believers and faithful jackals. Remeber to "FOLLOW THE JACKALS!"