Edward Elric Discovers Fanfiction!

Glad I got at least 60 reviews. :O I mean, there is a decline in them every chapter but, man, it's going well. Thank you for reading and reviewing yeah. It really makes me feel happy. God bless you!

OoO

Beads of liquid drool down Edward's forehead. This is really twisted.

Not only is the military he works for have a colonel ruin his real life, but he is also tribally attacking him in the fanfiction world! His mind shrieks as he pictures what their initiatives may be like in the animal world. Edward the sloth shall be missing three limbs devoured deliciously by Roy the lioness. Yes, lioness. Roy acts like a giiirl. And aren't lioness' the ones that do stuff like that? Huh! Ed is so pissed at Roy, he shall now call him Barbie.

He remembers the logged in user in the computer 'E. Elric if you're reading this you're a pervert', which now reads 'E. Elric if you're reading this I'm a pervert'. It's logged in into this computer…

Barbie's computer. Edward lips Barbie's username. That phrase… it is scolding, so mocking… so expectant, knowledgeable, intuitive, perceptive, stubborn, spontaneous, constant, taunting, laughing, flickering, flicking, joking, punching, ass-kissing, ass-kicking, narcissistic, malicious, evil, superior, towering, taller, superior, towering, overwhelming taller, superior, overwhelmingly tall, taller, taller, taller… um.

Oh gowhamma. He sinks down his chair. Roy knew he would find this out all along? Annoyed and irritated, Edward kicks off his shoes. He watches the sneakers skid a few metres away. They stop skidding at the toilet entrance, remind him of Roy's pants… and of course, Roy. What the hell? No way! In disbelief, he bends the chair.

"Shit!" Edward swears and knocks his office chair backwards with him toppling over. Of course friendly fate has someone standing there behind him.

Oh, and he had his pants on.

Thank God.

Al stares at Ed incredulously. "Brother, are you alright?"

Edward nods slightly but it morphs into a truthful shake. Al frowns and decides not to tell him he bought thirty-two cats just five minutes ago.

"Al… you know Fanfiction?"

"Ah, oh yes, brother… yes. Those crazy fan girls like to write them." Al nods and blushes.

Edward is yet to get use to a human brother, noticing the reddening of cheeks he gradually gets up. "Hmm… what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. I-I, just read one recently…"

"Ah. Anyway, guess what I've found." Ed unaware his brother had read Elricest, he shrugs off the topic and brings a new exploitation. "This pencil. I found it in Roy's pant pocket."

Al doesn't ask what his big brother was doing with the colonel's pants. "Uh, yes… so?"

"And it's like… for a fanfiction club. So really –"

"–Taisa writes fanfiction!" Al gasps and wishes he was a suit of armour so he could body slam Roy like he used to do… uh, secretly when no one was watching.

"Yes! Exactly, oh by the way… his name is 'BARBIE' now. Haha, and guess what! This computer's username on fanfiction is 'E. Elric if you're reading this I'm a pervert'." Edward exclaims, snickering. "And guess whose computer is this?"

Al pauses. "Uuhmm… a pervert's computer?"

Edward pauses. "Uh – exactly! And Barbie is our pervert!"

It sounds wrong, but well, it's the truth. Barbie and Roy are perverts.

"Brother," Al begins to feel gamed. "Wow… I wonder what Taisa writes."

Edward laughs. "That's exactly what we're going to find out!"

He immediately flips to the Internet Explorer mode. Fanfiction, of course. Al bends closer to screen, chin on Ed's shoulder smiling.

Skimming, checking… ahuha!

shfhgj by E. Elric if you're reading this I'm a pervert

LIK plz rid an revew thiz ukie

Click.

Edward smirks. 'Dear Barbie, me and Al – the Action Men – are going to kick your ass.'

If you like it enough.

I shall write more chapters.

I do have evil plans.

Like. Stuff. Review, please. -curtseys-