Chapter two: A chance at would could have been

The voices woke her, jarred her out of her dream world. The pain… the pain was gone, she didn't feel dizzy anymore. She felt cold… no not all of her in fact… it was just her cheek that felt cold and she couldn't understand why. Then more voices, they were louder before she clawed at her peaceful darkness wanting to stay there.

"Sara" a Texan accent, Nick Stokes, it was amused as well. She was blinded when her eyes slipped open. The lights were too bright; if she was dead she would have to have a word about the lights.

"Hey come on sleeping beauty" Nick teased before she could focus on him, he was leaning against something… a lab table. His arms folded and smile playing across his lips, she was sure she should have been in a hospital receiving some sort of medical attention, her mind was still fuzzy. She pushed her self up and saw that they were in a lab… in fact it was Greg's old lab. Puzzled Sara rubbed her face trying to push some feeling back into it. Maybe it had been a dream… she wasn't stabbed. She felt her shoulder and chest and found no blood. She sighed and shook her head; Nick simply laughed and looked away.

"What… I've been working hard lately" Sara declared causing Nick to look at her his eyebrows raised "what you mean working hard… you spend about five hours here at the most" Nick declared with a grin spread across his face. However Sara felt a little hurt at the last statement, she did work hard… she had maxed out her overtime once before. Nick was about to say something more when Greg strolled in and grinned at them both "good evening all… hope you weren't waiting to long for his highness" Greg declared in his usual boyish manner… however he looked different and Sara couldn't figure it out… he looked… well he looked content. Like he was the cat that got the cream, Sara looked away from the men at the papers littering the table she had been using as her pillow she listened however to Greg and Nick.

"I was just waking sleeping beauty here" Nick declared causing Sara to snap her head around and glare at him. She didn't mean to fall asleep, she would never be so unprofessional at work, and it was just that… that she was so tired. Sara frowned, she never felt this tired or swollen. She felt different in her body somehow, she looked at Greg who was frowning at her too, and he looked concerned. She was about to assure him that it wasn't habit she was going to take to when she saw something else in his eyes… something she had never seen in his eyes before at least no so openly.

It made her swallow hard, it was an intense look that she felt heat rising somewhere deep inside her. She caught her breath a few moments still looking into those passionate hazel eyes before she was ready to speak… to tell him stop making puppy dog eyes at her when she felt it. It was strange something she couldn't explain at first. It was a twinge at first… but it wasn't something she ever had before then it was a thump, another one against her side… her stomach. The thumping carried on for at least a full minute which didn't make sense because her stomach never done that before… she had to admit to herself that it felt something was kicking her lightly in the side but… well but from inside. Sara dared to glance down and she felt dizzy.

WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM, she thought as she stared at her swollen belly. She was massive… her belly a large bump and her breasts… big as well. Sara gingerly touched her stomach and she flinched at the feeling of her hardened stomach… her head swarm as new thoughts entered her mind… that was pregnant stomach… she was pregnant.

Sara look up to Nick and Greg hoping to see the same confused looks but their faces swam out of focus and darkness descended then nothing else.

It was hazy waking up, the sounds and the smells. They were different she didn't know them. So forcing her eyes open she hissed when the bright light hurt but slowly she could focus on two faces before her. Nick and Greg stood staring at her with a mix of concern and relief; she faintly remembered the knife driving itself into her shoulder she didn't dare speak.

"Nick get the doctor" Greg ordered not taking his eyes off of Sara and Nick actually listened to him… nick stokes had taken an order from Greg sanders. Nick disappeared out the door and Greg reached forwards and took Sara's hand.

"Ah Sara…" he started stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, his hazel eyes droppings slightly as they glistened. Sara frowned knowing that she and Greg flirted but she never figured Greg would really… well care for her that much.

"Sara, honey… we have to talk about this" Greg ordered catching Sara by surprise but before she could say anything the door opened and a slender middle aged doctor with a stern expression stepped in followed by nick. But he softened upon seeing Sara "I couldn't get them to leave" the doctor admitted walking around Sara's other side when Greg made no attempt to release her hand.

"so… lets start with something silly, can you tell me your name" the doctor questioned as Sara took a deep breath not minding now that Greg's hand still grasped her own.

"Sara Sidle" she responded feeling her eye lids growing heavy once more. However she managed to keep them open when she glimpsed the confused looks echoed on all three men's faces. It was Greg who broke the silence by clearing his throat bringing Sara's attention to him.

"Sara you haven't been called Sidle in five years" Greg informed her causing Sara to frown and attempt to sit forward but she was too tired to even push her self up

"Ok what is my name then" Sara demanded, annoyance settling in trying to shift into a sitting position but found something was stopping her apart from being too tired. Greg threw a glance towards the doctor then nick before looking back at Sara.

"Your Sara Sanders… my wife" Greg told her, shock clouding his young features when Sara paled and became dizzy. Her hand pulled away from Greg and rubbed her forehead, her eyes lowering themselves… and she saw the large bump that made her dizzy. She gingerly touched it then she ran a hand over her stomach.

"How… I don't…" Sara trailed off looking at the three men settling on Greg; well it was only fair seeing as he had just said she was his wife. Sara raked her memory… this wasn't right, she wasn't married to Greg, and she sure in hell wasn't expecting his or anyone else's baby. It had to be a dream… if it was a dream then she wouldn't feel like she was now, her bladder felt like it had a two ton brick pressing down on it… her breasts felt tender and her back hurt, she couldn't dream this.

Sara swallowed hard and looked to the doctor "I don't remember… any of… this" Sara waved a hand towards her stomach and Greg. She didn't dare look at Greg; she could only guess that he held a face of hurt. The doctor frowned and rubbed his neck glancing down and grabbed the chart.

"Sara… I would be lying if I said we weren't expecting this" the doctor stated before Sara felt Greg move in his chair

"Doctor Lamerly" Greg started as doctor Lamerly sighed and focused his eyes on Sara "Sara my wife, she is your OYGBN… we know things have been hard since… well since the accident at the lab. Trauma like that isn't easy to get over and what you lost of course we expected difficulties when you got pregnant and yourself said what happened to your mother well we agreed… me and you that if something like this was to happy you trusted me to try and explain it" doctor Lamerly told her and Sara felt Greg grab her hand once more but she wouldn't look at him.

"You know what I'm going to phone the lab… tell them what's going on" Nick excused him self, it seemed the doctor was the only one who notice him leave. Sara was still trying to understand what the hell was going on… what trauma was he talking about, what lose and what about her mother.

"I remember what happened to my mother… what I don't seem to remember is what exactly happened… why I'm pregnant and how I could forget this life" Sara snapped feeling Greg's hand go cold "seven months" Greg's voice was distant and seemed void of emotions. Sara looked at him and her heart broke, he looked so shattered and emotionless. He turned his hazel eyes towards her and she saw tears glittering at the edge threatening to spill over, he licked his lips and lowered his eyes towards her stomach then he must have decided this wasn't a safe area so he looked at their hands.

"your seven months pregnant, the little one is due the 25th of September" Greg told her as he smirked allowing himself the briefest of smiles "though knowing that we're the kids parents the baby will come two weeks before I start my three month leave" Greg flickered his eyes up, hope glistening with the tears. Hope that she remembered something of their life but he couldn't see anything she was still in shock.

"Look how about I call my wife again see how long before she gets here to make sure the baby is ok… I'll give you two some time alone" doctor Lamerly gave them both a supportive smile before heading out of the room.

Both remained silent for a few moments neither wanting to discover what new shocks were in store. But Sara couldn't wait, the thumping was back in her stomach… the baby… she noticed the baby only seemed to move and kick when Greg spoke. She could almost smile if she hadn't been dizzy she didn't know what the hell was going on but she wanted answers.

"I…" she stopped and looked at Greg; he raised his eyes and watched her, she felt her own hot tears burning her eyes to be released. Sara shook her head and brushed a stray tears away "why can't I remember" she almost begged as her shoulders shook. Greg was up and he gathered her in his arms bringing her head to his chest whilst stroking her hair tenderly "its ok, baby it's ok" he soothed and the shaking eased slightly. Sara didn't mind being held by Greg, in fact it was comforting. He had strong arms but stroked her hair so tenderly.

"what do you remember baby" Greg questioned not moving away or allowing Sara to pull back, she turned her head so she could speak more clearly "I remember…the case… we were heading to a scene a B&E gone wrong… the suspect hadn't gone he was waiting…god I remember you calling my name and then…" Sara trailed off burying her face into Greg's chest clutching at his shirt with left hand. Greg continued to hold her lifting his hand away from her hair to swipe away at a few of his own tears.

"I woke up and nick was there… and I was pregnant… I can't remember being pregnant" Sara almost sobbed, but thankfully her voice gave out and she screwed her eyes closed spilling tears down onto Greg's shirt.

"Well you remember us… I must be too important to forget" Greg said lightly causing Sara to choke then dig him a little, she couldn't believe he would joke… but then again Greg did always have a way to make her feel better.

"Of course I remember you guys… but it's different… we're not together" Sara told him waiting for a joke but Greg said nothing. And they sat like that for a few moments before Greg pulled away, he turned and sat opposite Sara on the bed wanting to look at her completely.

"What's different then" Greg asked tears still glistened on his cheeks "apart from us being married" Sara questioned as Greg shrugged his shoulders with a nod. Sara took an unsteady breath growing accustomed to the kicking in her side.

"I don't remember the doctor… even though it's clear he knows me… I don't know why I woke up in your old lab" Sara declared as Greg frowned and stared at her.

"What" she questioned as Greg raised his eyebrows "Sara I never had a lab… that was your lab you woke up in" Greg declared causing Sara to frown again, not understanding.

"My lab… I know my present condition makes it hard for me to remain in the field I still wouldn't have my own lab" Sara stated as Greg became confused and ran a hand through his hair as though trying to figure it out. Finally he settled his hazel eyes on her and sighed.

"Sara, you've never been in the field even before you got pregnant" Greg stated watching her drop her jaw and shake her head.

"But I'm a CSI… I've been…" Sara couldn't finish when she saw Greg's expression. Something wasn't right, she remembered being a CSI or at least she thought she did.

"Baby… You've been a lab rat ever since you transferred here almost seven years ago" Greg explained to her as Sara sank back, something… well everything didn't make sense it was making her head spin.

"But… Warwick and holly" Sara managed, Greg frowned at her then understood and took her hand in his own and ran his thumb along her knuckles stopping at the gold band and sapphire set rings she wore.

"I had worked a little in the labs before becoming a CSI… before I moved out to Las Vegas. We were short staff in the labs and so I offered to cover. Holly was meant to go with me but because I couldn't be spared from the labs she went with Warwick… this was before he got help… actually asked for help. When Holly got shot one of the day shifts investigated meaning Warwick was off of active duty, Catherine needed me so that's when she went to Grissom who remembered this kick ass lab rat who offered her services to us. We were trying to help Warwick… he was getting it bad from the day shift guy when you turned up, I was working a crime scene with Grissom … I don't know if you remember it some jerk pissed off his girlfriend and she killed him" Greg paused when Sara nodded, but Sara could just about remember a different version… it seemed the more she tried to clearly remember something it became hazy.

"Well, you turned up at the scene just as me and Grissom were examining the body, said you had gone their looking for Grissom… even though I know you must have been looking for me" Greg stated looking meeting her eyes. She wanted to smile but just couldn't.

"You chased me constantly, always flirting when I came for my results… asking me out all the time" this time he received a snort and Greg looked at her with a small smile that this time didn't fall too quickly. Sara saw love in his eyes and fondness… it looked as though he liked thinking back to when they were meant to have met.

"Seriously though… it was a year before I managed to ask you out… about ten months later we stumbled out a chapel man and wife" Greg grinned and stared at Sara with a glint to his eyes that made heat rise from within her again and something else that she had to admit was quiet nice.

"That Mrs Sanders was your idea" he declared before he dropped his smile and froze his thumb mid stroke. He adverted his eyes again and cleared his throat "anyway, we were married two years before it happened…the accident at the lab" Greg paused and Sara frowned she remembered something just a fragment "a case Warwick and Catherine were working on" Sara offered as Greg stared at her hopeful again.

"Yeah… you wasn't meant to be working that day but you had come by to tell me the news. You said that it was killer case they were working on that you had to check something up. I don't know why I was walking past… I guessed I missed walking past your lab and not seeing you there. Then I had just looked up and saw you when there was a blast" Greg lifted his hand and showed her the scar running along his hand. Sara glanced at her own hand and she didn't find the scar that had been cut into her own hand… and for a moment she wondered why she would expect to find one.

"That's when I guess it started… like doctor Lamerly said, your trauma. You never truly got over the blast. It took a good few months for you and Catherine to really get on better, but it wasn't until seven months ago when you got pregnant that the anxieties started… you was worried and started to black out" Greg looked down swiped at the tears again "I knew you been going to the doctor but you never told me what happened… I guess I didn't want to risk losing you if I pushed it too much" Greg admitted as Sara looked towards the wall and thought.

"How would that explain this memory lose… or what ever it is…? I can remember things being different" Sara questioned out loud not expecting Greg to answer but he did.

"Well losing… what we lost it hit you pretty hard… even though it wasn't your fault you couldn't help it… you told me that you worried about turning out like your mother… after she fell pregnant with you she seemed to lose her mind" Greg admitted causing Sara to stare at him with shock and alarm. He knew… he knew what had happened and yet he still looked at her with love.

"what your mother did to your father when you were only a child… we didn't have enough time to work through your fears the first time but we were trying this time" Greg admitted his choice of words finally hitting Sara as odd "the first time… what lose" Sara asked as Greg stared at her then lowered his eyes sadly.

"The day of the accident you were off… the only reason you were there was to tell me you were pregnant. It was our first baby; I didn't find out until later… when you blew off at Catherine. When the blast went off you… well your injuries meant you lost the baby… our baby and the doctors could just about save you… I couldn't think about almost losing you I would have died if I had to" Greg stated as dizziness swept over Sara but she fought it off and stared at him.

"I lost our baby" she questioned again as Greg nodded, she had been pregnant before and she lost the baby... their baby. Sara rubbed her forehead as she remembered something…

The force of the blast was so strong she slammed with such force against the wall before falling to the ground. She automatically glanced up and saw him, she saw Greg laying there. And for a minute she focused on him before laying her head down as pain spread through out her…