There was a man standing outside the house when Emil got home from school. He was in a bad mood, because Mathias had had a student council meeting, so he had been forced to take the bus. Loud, smelly, and crowded, and he was looking forward to the relative peace he would get before his parents got home from work. Instead he got a freakishly tall stranger staring up at his new house with glazed over eyes.

"Um, can I help you?" he said, wincing a little when it came out brattier than he had planned.

The man looked down at him, squinting. Jeez, he's kind of scary looking. Emil glanced up at his window, but didn't see his ghostly…boyfriend? Well, he didn't see Lukas, so he steeled himself and met the stranger's harsh gaze.

"My family and I just moved in a few weeks ago. If you're looking for the Thomassens, they moved out about five years ago."

"I know," said the man gruffly. "I just…was in the area and thought I'd stop by to see the house again."

The stranger looked back up at the house, his face softening slightly.

"I'm Emil Steilsson."

"…Berwald Oxenstierna."

"Did you know the Thomassens?"

"I…knew their son, Lukas."

"Were you friends?"

"You could say that."

"Do you want to come inside?" Emil wasn't sure if inviting a total stranger inside his house was such a good idea, but he was curious about this guy.

"No," Berwald answered quickly. It occurred to the younger that Lukas probably wouldn't want to see an old friend who couldn't see him.

"How well did you know Lukas?"

"Better than anyone, but not well enough."

"What was he like?"

Berwald glared down at Emil, making him jump a little. "Sorry! It's just that he lives in my room. No, no, wait that's not right. I mean, I live in his room. Er, his old room, that is. Um, I was just curious."

"Hm?" The glare turned into a look of confusion that was still pretty terrifying, but it seemed that Berwald didn't realize how angry he looked. "Serious and brilliant," he finally answered. "He was quiet and shy."

"Oh." That didn't sound at all like the Lukas he knew. Maybe Berwald hadn't actually known him? Or maybe death had changed him, warped his personality? Emil knew very little about ghosts, despite the fact that he could see and talk to them.

"But," Berwald continued quietly, "he had another side that almost no one saw. He was sarcastic and sly, and he could always make me laugh. Not an easy thing to do."

"I can imagine." Emil shifted on his feet, rolling his shoulders. He wanted to get this heavy backpack off, but he also really wanted to hear more about Lukas. "So did you two date?"

Now it was Berwald's turn to jump. Then he sighed, giving a tiny laugh. "I forget that it's been five years already. Things have changed around here a lot."

"Were his parents homophobic?"

"Mhm, they should've been proud of him, all that he accomplished. Well, not like they were the only ones…" A heavy silence fell between them. Emil was starting to feel guilty about the fact that he could see and touch this man's dead boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend since five years ago, but still. He searched desperately for a new line of conversation.

"What do you do now, Berwald?"

"'m about to finish college. Nuclear engineering."

"Wow, that's…wow."

"Mm. I wanted to…I thought about…physics…" The last word was muttered so quietly that Emil had to strain to hear it. He filed it away for later, figuring it must be important.

A car horn beeped, making them both jump. Mathias parked his car on the street in front of the house. "Oh, that's my…" Emil paused, searching for the right word. Boyfriend still felt so foreign. "That's Mathias." He had completely forgotten that the older boy was coming over to help him study.

Berwald gave him a tiny, knowing smile. "Here," he mumbled, holding out a CD case. "Take this."

"A CD?"

"Lukas made it for me."

"Why are you giving it to me?"

"'t's damn good music."

The tall man gave another sad look towards the house and walked away without another word. "Well, that was weird," Emil grumbled to himself.

"Hey, who was that guy?" Mathias called, getting out of his car. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. He's…he was a friend of Lukas's."

"You weren't asking about him, were you?"

"What if I was?"

"Emil, you don't need to go prying into his old life," Mathias sighed, crossing his arms.

"Aren't you at least a little curious? I mean he did…" The younger shut up when he heard the front door open.

"Oh, there you are, Emil," Lukas called from the doorway. "What are you doing out there with that guy?"

"Is that really what you call your boyfriend?" Mathias laughed. He gave Emil a significant look and nudged him towards the house. The younger walked in, slipping the CD into his coat pocket.

Even with both of his, um, boyfriends helping him study, Emil was still getting frustrated. He had a big math test the next day, and he couldn't understand half of the concepts. Lukas would show him how to solve the problems, but he couldn't get the right answer no matter what. Mathias would give him mnemonics to memorize the formulas, but they wouldn't stick in his brain.

He finally threw his math book to the floor, burying his head in his arms as frustrated tears slipped out. "Just forget about it," he groaned. "You guys are just wasting your time."

"Maybe we should take a break," Mathias suggested. "You're probably getting a little brain-fried with all of this studying."

"I would need a brain for that first."

Lukas blew cold air into his ear, practically making him jump off his bed. "None of that self-pitying crap," he said flatly. "So what if you don't understand pre-calculus? That doesn't make you stupid."

"Oh great, a suicide victim is lecturing me about self-pity."

Silence. Cold, dead, silence, literally and figuratively. Emil looked up in realization, his eyes wide. "Oh, jesus, Lukas, I'm so sorry." Now he really was crying, to his absolute horror. "God, I'm a piece of shit."

Lukas carefully wiped away his tears. "I ran out of self-pity three years ago," he said quietly. "I'm sorry, too."

"Okay, that's my cue," Mathias said, climbing onto the bed and hugging them both. "No sad boyfriends on my watch." He squeezed them tightly, his warmth offsetting Lukas's cold touch.

They lay like that for a few moments, the room quiet except for Emil's miserable sniffling. "Hey, Emil," Mathias mumbled into his hair.

"Yeah?"

"What's cooler than being cool?"

"Dead," Lukas answered.

Emil gave a weak, teary laugh and received a kiss on either side of his face from the other two.

"Do you want to hear a story, Emil?" Lukas asked.

"Um, sure."

"Too bad, because dead men tell no tales."

He laughed a little more, still sniffling. "I'm about 70% sure that you spend all day thinking of more dead jokes."

"You would be about 70% correct."

"Geez, Lukas," Mathias said happily. "You really need to get a life."

That made all three of them laugh. They untangled themselves from each other, sitting up slowly, and decided to head downstairs for a snack.

Emil's mom came home while they were digging through the pantry.

"Hi, sweetie! Oh, hi, Mathias!" she greeted happily. Lukas snorted at the nickname, but, of course, she didn't hear him. Emil sighed, crossing his arms.

"Hi, Mrs. Steilsson," Mathias replied, grinning at the flustered younger boy.

"Brr, it's cold in here," commented Emil's mom, rubbing her upper arms. "It wasn't this cold outside, though."

"Sorry," Lukas stage-whispered. "I'll just go back to making the second floor cold." He disappeared into the wall next to the pantry.

"We just had the freezer open," Mathias said. "Maybe that's making it feel colder in here."

"Maybe…it does feel a bit warmer now."

They grabbed a couple of apples and headed back up to Emil's room. He hadn't told his parents yet that he and Mathias were officially…going out. God, even the thought made him embarrassed. Anyway, the fact that he couldn't tell his parents about his second boyfriend made things a lot easier, but he didn't feel right only telling them about Mathias.

After that break, Emil felt a lot calmer, but it didn't help his studying much. By the time Mathias left, Emil still hadn't memorized any formulas, but at least he was getting half of the problems right now. Lukas continued to help him until 10:30 when he ordered the younger to go to sleep.

"But I'm not ready for this test," he protested.

"You'll be fine if you get a good night's sleep," Lukas said gently, closing the math book and packing it in the boy's bag. "But you'll do horribly if you're too tired to think."

"But—"

"If you're so concerned, you can study some more tomorrow morning before school."

Emil conceded and got ready for bed. He did get some good sleep, but he had a strange dream that Lukas took his math test for him. Still, he woke up feeling pretty grumpy, and this was compounded by the fact that Lukas was sitting on top of him.

"Get off, you creep," he groaned, trying to roll over. Unfortunately, Lukas had the ability to be heavy enough to keep him in place without actually crushing him.

"Are you ready for your test?" he asked, ignoring the younger's futile struggles.

"No, I'm not, so get off of me, so I can study some more."

"I think you should just stay home today."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because you're sick." Lukas smirked down at him. "You woke up with the chills. You'll have an extra day to study."

"Did you ever do that when you were alive?"

"No."

"Then I'm not going to." He finally managed to shove the ghost off and rolled over to look at his clock. It read 7:05. "Shit, the bus is coming in twenty-five minutes!" he exclaimed, jumping out of bed. "I thought I set my alarm for 6:30."

"You did, but I turned it off."

"Are you freaking serious right now, Lukas? You can't just do that, I'm not going to have any time to study!"

"Relax, Emil." Lukas opened the closet and grabbed a few shirts. He tossed most of them over his shoulder before finding one he deemed suitable and handing it to the younger. "You'll do fine on the test, trust me."

"Why should I trust you? You turned off my freaking alarm."

"Only because you were sleeping so peacefully."

"You just officially crossed into creeper territory. Now go away, so I can change."

"Nope."

"God, why am I dating you again?" He threw his door open and walked down the hallway to the bathroom.

"Because I'm hot and convenient," Lukas called after him.

After he was dressed and his hair was combed, he rushed into the kitchen to grab a granola bar.

"You should stay here and take care of me," Lukas said, sitting at the table. "I think I might be coming down with something."

"Yeah, maggots."

"That was a good one."

"I'm not skipping this test, and I don't understand why you want me to."

"You wouldn't be skipping the test, just giving yourself extra time to study."

"You're so full of it. I've gotta go."

"I'm coming with you."

"You are not."

He did. Emil had no idea why, but Lukas actually followed him onto the bus and to school. He understood when the ghost began reciting formulas for him. "That's probably not going to help me, you know," he whispered as they walked into the school. Several people shivered when they walked through Lukas, feeling a sudden chill.

Mathias was really surprised to both of them at lunch, Lukas sitting stiffly at the end of the table. He carefully sat on Emil's other side, observing that Matthew hadn't noticed the supernatural presence next to his friend.

"Are you ready for that test?" he asked, and Emil shrugged glumly.

"I'm ready to do horribly."

Lukas poked him lightly in the arm, sending a freezing jolt through him. I swear, it's like he can control how cold he makes people.

"What's going on?" Mathias whispered in his ear when Mathew was busy eating. Emil shrugged, nodding his head towards Lukas in an ask him gesture.

"I don't want him stressing out about this test" was the only explanation the ghost gave.

Finally, it was time for the test, and Emil was practically shaking. "You shouldn't help me cheat," he whispered to Lukas.

"You shouldn't get this worked up about a test."

"That's easy for you to say, you're a genius."

"Who told you that?"

"It's, um, pretty obvious."

He took a seat at his desk, and Lukas hovered over his shoulder. He figured it wasn't his fault if the ghost helped him after he had just told him not to. Still, he worried that someone would somehow notice the dead boy whispering answers, or that the teacher would suspect him of cheating.

He was so worried, in fact, that his mind went blank the second he had the test in front of him. He gripped his pencil tightly, trying to make sense of the formulas Lukas was telling him to use. Frustrated tears sprung to his eyes again, and he took a deep breath to try to calm himself.

Lukas sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Just this once," he whispered. Emil's shoulder felt really cold, and then all of a sudden it was like he had been doused with ice water. His body froze up then relaxed, but he wasn't at all relaxed. His pencil moved across the page, but he wasn't willing it to. All he could do for the next fifty-five minutes was watch his test be completed by…himself? He felt very cold and very, very confused.

Emil (well, Emil's body at least) handed in his test and sat back down in his seat. He felt something pulling, and then the cold was gone. However, it was soon replaced by dizziness and nausea. He slumped over onto his desk, blood rushing in his ears, and didn't hear the teacher ask if he was alright.

The next thing he knew, one of his classmates was helping him get to the nurse's office. His arm was over the other boy's – Xiao's? – shoulders, and he felt a cool arm around his waist. The arm disappeared once he was lying down in the office. The nurse gave him a wet washcloth to hold to his face and a bucket to hurl into. Which he did, unfortunately. Afterwards, he lay on his back, shaking slightly.

Mathias entered the nurse's office, looking worried.

"Oh, hi, Mathias!" greeted the nurse happily.

"Hi, Mrs. Kobevko, is Emil Steilsson in here?"

"Yes, I was just about to call his parents to take him home."

"I can do that, I'm done with classes for the day, and both of his parents are at work anyway."

Emil zoned out, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply. He felt a cool hand press to his forehead, so he opened his eyes to see Lukas looking down at him worriedly.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly. Emil nodded slightly and sat up. The room spun a little, but at least he didn't throw up again.

"Hey, Emil, I'm gonna take you home," Mathias said, offering him a hand. He took it and stood up shakily, leaning against the older for support. Lukas then had Emil lean against him, so Mathias could grab both of their backpacks. The scene must have looked strange to someone who couldn't see ghosts, because the nurse gave them a strange look.

Mathias was silent all the way out of the school and across the parking lot to his car. But as soon as they had the doors closed, he exploded.

"What the hell were you thinking, possessing him like that?" he demanded, looking back at Lukas. "Do you realize how dangerous that could have been?"

"What do you know about possession?" Lukas spat back defensively.

"What do you?"

As they began to argue, Emil absentmindedly reached into his coat pocket, feeling something hard and square. He pulled out the CD case and inspected it. Oh right, that scary guy gave this to me. He opened the case and popped the CD into Mathias's stereo. They stopped arguing when they heard the music start. It was something Emil had heard on the radio a few times when he was younger but had never remembered. The next song came on, and Mathias pulled out of the parking lot.

"I used to listen to these songs," Lukas said quietly when the third song started. "Where did you get this CD?" he asked when they arrived at Emil's house, and he had recognized every one of the songs.

"Someone who knew you stopped by yesterday," Emil said slowly, finally feeling like himself again. "He gave it to me."

"Who? I made this for one person."

"Berwald."

Silence, once again, cold, dead silence. "Let me see the case," Lukas said finally.

Emil showed it to him. He hadn't actually looked at it, himself. Small, precise letters spelled out the track list, and at the top they read "For Berwald."

More silence.

"You spoke to Berwald. And you didn't tell me." His voice was slow and steady, as if he had practiced that kind of control extensively.

"I tried to invite him in, but he just wanted to see the outside of the house."

"And what all did you two talk about?"

"Um, not a whole lot…"

"Emil, what did you talk about?"

"Lukas, don't get mad at him," Mathias cut in, reaching around his seat to dig through his backpack. "I found something interesting at the library today."

He pulled out an old newspaper and presented the front page. There was a picture of Lukas wearing glasses and a serious expression. The headline stretched across the top of the page: "Tragic Suicide of Honors Student; Parents Blame Bullying."

"Lukas Thomassen, age 17, was found hung in his room on Friday afternoon," the article began. "Thomassen was a straight A student with plans to study quantum physics at…"

Physics, Berwald had thought about studying physics. Emil stared in shock at the ghost in the backseat who was giving them both an indifferent look. "Honestly, I'm not sure what you were expecting," he said flatly. "I'm a ghost, obviously that means I died somehow."

"We were just a little curious about the somehow, and possibly the why," Mathias explained. "We're supposed to be dating, but we barely know anything about you."

"You could have just asked me." Lukas looked at Emil. "Is that why you spoke with Berwald yesterday?"

"Er, yes."

"Why wouldn't you just ask me? It's not exactly a secret that someone spray painted 'fag' on my locker and car, or that my parents told me they wouldn't accept a gay son, no matter how smart I am. Was."

"It's sort of a sensitive topic…" Mathias said.

"So obviously the answer was to go find other sources. I'm not a mine field that you guys have to step carefully around, I've had five years to make peace with myself and my suicide."

Lukas slipped out of the car and into the house. Emil and Mathias exchanged a look.

"We really fucked that up," Emil said quietly.

"We sure did."

"I…I'm not sure what to do."

"I think we need to go apologize. But first, are you alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine."

"No, I mean after the whole possession thing. Do you feel dizzy or nauseous still?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Okay, let's go."

They didn't find him in his/Emil's room, nor in any other room in the house. They finally found him in the backyard, laying out on the grass with his eyes closed.

"I can't feel the sun," he said, keeping them closed. "I can't feel the breeze either. I can feel you two and any objects I touch, but not the sun or the breeze."

"I'm sorry I went behind your back," Emil said, sitting down next to him. "I should've told you that I talked to Berwald."

"I'm sorry, too," Mathias said, sitting on his other side. "I should've just asked you."

"Oh, hell, I can't get that mad at you two, you're the only ones who can see me." Lukas opened his eyes and looked at them both one at a time before looking up at the sky. "For a while after I died, I thought I was in hell."

"Why's that?" Emil asked.

"Berwald came by the house after the funeral, and I thought he could see me. I tried to talk to him, but he ran out."

"He could see you?"

"I don't think he could fully see me, but he could definitely tell there was a presence. Five years of no contact with anyone…I thought my parents knew I was in the house still, and that's why they wouldn't sell it. And then I met you two within twenty-four hours of each other."

"Berwald said he thought about studying physics," Emil blurted out.

"Oh, god, I would hate him if he did that for me."

"He didn't, he's studying nuclear engineering."

"Good, that'll be good for him." Lukas closed his eyes again. "He's probably almost finished with college now."

"That's what he told me."

Lukas sighed. "Alright, go ahead and ask."

"Ask what?" Mathias asked.

"Why I, an honors student with a promising future and only a year left of high school, decided to end it all."

"Wasn't it because of the bullying?"

"That's what my parents would have everyone believe. Sure, the bullying didn't help, but it was nothing compared to what they put me through. My whole life, they imposed their expectations on me, and they always found some way that I had disappointed them. No matter how hard I studied, my grades weren't good enough for them. And then they found out about Berwald, and they were ready to disown me. After everything I had sacrificed and achieved in order to make them proud, they told me they were disgusted by me. And then they had the nerve to cry when I died."

"Maybe that means that they still loved you, in their own way," Mathias said quietly.

"That's a pretty shitty way to love somebody."

"I'm sorry," Emil said.

"Don't say that. Like I said, I've had five years to make my peace with things. I'm over it all."

"Are you really?" Mathias asked.

"I don't think you're being entirely truthful with us," Emil added.

"Of course, I'm not," Lukas said, sitting up. A shimmering tear rolled down his cheek. "I miss being alive. Sure, my life sort of sucked, but if I had just waited another year or so…" He took a deep breath. "But there's no use thinking about what could have been."

Emil hugged the ghost tightly, and Mathias did the same. "You're allowed to be upset about it still," said the latter.

"You don't have to pretend with us," Emil said.

"I have been pretending for a very long time."

"Well, this is like a new life for you." Lukas snorted, and Emil rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. You don't have to act the same as you did when you were alive."

"Thanks, you two. You're pretty good boyfriends, I guess."

"Your vote of confidence is overwhelming," Emil said drily, resting his head on Lukas's shoulder.

"I told you, no sad boyfriends on my watch!" Mathias said, smiling.

They held each other for a while, watching the clouds roll by.

"You two feel so warm," Lukas said quietly. "It's almost like feeling the sun again."

"You know," Mathias said slowly, "if this Berwald guy could sense your presence, that means he might be one of us, too."

"You mean, like a, oh what's the word, a medium?" Emil asked.

"That's a lot mediums from one area," Lukas commented. "Must be something in the water. Unless you're all related."

"We're definitely not," Emil said firmly. "But this might mean that there are even more mediums out there."

"That'd be cool, and maybe he knows some."

"I wouldn't count on it. Berwald was always freaked out by anything supernatural. It's a cruel irony that I'm now a ghost."

"Well, maybe he'll stop by again," Emil suggested.

"If he does, feel free to ask him about any heebie-jeebies he feels. But no more talking about me."

"I won't."