I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, OR CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.

All rights go to Masashi Kishimoto, and Dan Fogelman.

Cuckhold

As Gai and Hinata left the house, the awkward silence continued to flow through the air. He hurriedly walked over to the passenger side door, and opened it for her. She thanked him, and he walked around to the driver's side. She watched as if it were in slow motion.

There he was looking completely heartbroken. Like someone had just broken his prized possession. She could see tears starting to form a puddle atop his bottom eyelashes. He tried to rid them before getting in the vehicle.

Her house was a mere 10 minutes away, but it felt like 10 hours. Halfway there, Hinata felt the need to say something, but it didn't come out the way she wanted it to.

"You're the nicest dad that I babysit...of all the um...you're really nice."

"...That's very nice," Gai managed to choke out.

Hinata tucked a hair behind her ear. "And um...I like Mrs. Yuhi, I like her a lot, okay? But if she wants to divorce you, then I think she's batshit crazy."

Gai just let out a chuckle.

"I'm sorry."

"Okay. I-it's okay." Gai still looked straight ahead on the road. Hinata continued to fiddle with her hair, blouse, anything to avoid eye contact.

"I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable." She swallowed. Hard. "I've developed like a little crush..."

He turned to face her. "Would you do me a favor? Would you not mention to your parents that Mrs. Yuhi and I are...you know? It's something we want to tell them on our own, okay?" Gai said as he stopped the car in front of her house.

"Yeah," was all she said; face as red as a raspberry.

"Thank you. I appreciate that." He then drove away.

She looked longingly after the car. He mustn't have heard her. She mumbled a lot of the time, so she assumed that's why he hadn't made any notion to acknowledge her statement.

"Hey, guess what?" Gai asked a woman sitting next to him at the bar. She was talking to someone else.

She turned around slowly. Unsure if he was directing the question to her. "What?"

He leaned in and slurred obnoxiously. "My wiiife...is having intercourse, with someone who is not meee."

"I'm...I'm sorry to hear that." she said halfheartedly.

He looks down at the counter and taps it. "Oh, thank you. That is very nice of you to say. Very very nice. She just told me, I just found out. So I'm a little raw. It's...it's..."

Gai looks up and sees the woman at the bar isn't listening to him, but is turned back around talking to her friend once more.

"Okay. Well, you're not listening. You wouldn't ignore me if I were Asuma Sarutobi. My wife doesn't ignore Asuma Sarutobi, she screws him. She screws him," he said bitterly while twirling the straw in his drink.

"Who told you that Kurenai and I are getting divorced?" Gai asked his boss, Minato.

"You're getting a divorce?" Minato asked shocked.

Gai looked away. "Yeah."

Minato let out a deep sigh. "Tsunade, heard you crying in the bathroom. We all thought it was cancer."

"Oh...no."

"Thank God, man!" Minato exclaimed laughing.

"Yeah! Just my relationship..."

Minato laughs harder and Gai laughs with him.

Minato was gasping for air. "Thank, God! Divorce!"

"I'm so lucky."

"You are."

Gai sat up from his office chair. "I have to go pick up out furniture now."

"Okay! You go for it!" Minato said as Gai passed by him and exited his office.

"It could have been cancer, buddy!" Minato yelled after him.

Then he turned to the call center. "Hey everyone, it's just a divorce!"

Everyone in the office clapped their hands as Gai walked outside.

Gai raised his hands in the air. "Thanks! Feels good," he said sarcastically.

After leaving work, Gai had gathered all of his furniture at the old house and loaded it into the U-HAUL. Just then Kurenai jogged into the driveway. She had just finished her daily 2 mile jog.

As she slows to a stop she realizes what he was doing. "Shit..." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "I think I'm having a midlife crisis, maybe. Can women have midlife crisis? In the movies it's always men having them and buying ridiculous yellow Porsche's, but you know I'm not a man..."

Gai ignores her and walks ahead looking at the garden. "Fertilize, you gotta be sure to fertilize all this."

"We got married so young, Gai. You know, I'm forty-four. I'm so much older than I thought I'd be."

"There's a...a turn off valve for the sprinkler, it's over there," he said pointing to it.

"You know, last week, you know when I told you that I had to work late. I really went to see the new Twilight movie by myself. I don't know why I did that, and it was so bad, Gai."

"If it keeps raining like this, you might wanna turn off the automatic setting," he continued as he walked to the truck.

She followed him. "We haven't been us, not for a long time. And I...I don't know when you and I stopped being us. I mean, do you?

Gai opened the truck door. "Maybe it's when you screwed Asuma Sarutobi..." He shuts the door and backs out of the driveway. Kuenai walks along side it, but then stops as it starts to rain lightly.

"You know a word that is not used very often anymore? Cuckold. I'm cuckolded. Asuma Sarutobi, cuckolded me. He made a cuckold out of me. He slept with my wife and I didn't know about it! And that is the definition of cuckoldom. Asuma Sarutobi took my wife and slept with her. Uuch! Thought I did everything right. Got married, had kids, the house. What do I get for it? I get cuckolded? Asuma Sarutobi cuckolded me, he made a cuckold out of me," Gai rambled on and on and on at the bar's counter.

Kakashi, who's sitting at a table with a woman, had listened to Gai rant for a while now. He whistled at him and motioned for Gai to come over.

Gai looked behind him to see if the man had meant it for someone else. Kakashi motioned again. Gai, who was a little buzzed, chuckled and slid off his chair and made his way to Kakashi.

"When Gai reached him, Kakashi turned to the woman. "Hey, can you give me a couple of minutes with this guy?"

She nodded, grabbed her purse and left.

"Hello," Kakashi said cooly. "Kakashi Hatake." He held out his hand for Gai to shake.

"Gai Yuhi." He shook Kakashi's hand.

"Hey, Gai. Sit down, I'd like to buy you a drink."

"Okay." Gai plopped down in the open chair across from Kakashi.

"Guess what? My wife is having an affair with Asuma Saru..."

"Asuma Sarutobi. Asuma Sarutobi, I know. How do I know that?" Kakashi tilted his head to the side.

Gai sipped his drink looking confused. "I don't know."

"I'm a total stranger. How would I know something so intimate about your wife?"

Gai chuckled. "Asuma Sarutobi screwing your wife too?"

"No. Do you wanna know why I know that, Gai?" Kakashi said looking dead serious.

"Okay..." Gai looked around.

"Cause it's all that I've heard, Gai, for the past two nights. It's all anybody's heard. You're going around, and you're like...you're badgering people with this sad, sack, loser, sob story and I don't understand why."

"You know, I don't need this crap." Gai stood up.

"No, sit down," Kakashi said raising his hand.

"Alright," Gai plopped down again.

"Look, I know that sounds harsh. But it's true, and you need to hear the truth. Okay?"

Gai takes a sip of his drink through the straw in his glass. "Okay."

Kakashi shook his head. "Gai, would you take that straw out of your mouth? Please. Just for this conversation. Do you know what that looks like? It looks like you're sucking on a tiny schvatz, is that what you want?

Gai was taken aback. "What?"

"Is that the message you wanna sent to everybody?" Kakashi asked.

Gai laughed nervously. "No one's thinking that."

"Really? So, permission to speak candidly, sir."

"I think you've already gone there."

With that, Kakashi began to explain. "You're sitting there with a Super Cuts hair cut, you're getting drunk on watered-down Vodka Cranberries like a fourteen year old girl, and you're wearing a forty-four when you should be wearing a forty-two regular." He sighed. "Honestly, I don't know if I should help you or I should euthanize you," he stated matter-of-factly. "Gai, you got a kind face. You got a good head of hair, you seem like a nice guy. I wanna help you. I'm gonna help you rediscover your manhood. Do you have any idea, like where you lost it?"

Gai thought a moment. "Strong case could be from 1984."

"Well, we're gonna find it. We are. I promise you. And I promise you this too, Gai. When we're done, this wife of yours, she's gonna rue the day she ever decided to give up on you. That's my offer. You in or you out?" Kakashi leaned back in his seat.

"Why are you doing this?"

Kakashi shrugged and looked away. "Maybe you remind me of someone. You in or are you out?"

"I'm in."

Authors Note: Haha xD. I love writing this! FYI: Cuckhold means, a man with an adulterous wife. Also, schvatz...well I think you know what that means. ;) R&R