I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, OR CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.

All rights go to Masashi Kishimoto, and Dan Fogelman.

Sexy & Cute

"Dad, can I tell you something? Love sucks!" Lee said.

Gai laughed. "Yeah. You in love, buddy?"

"Well, if you must know..."

"Ding Dong!" Hinata exclaimed standing in the open doorway of Gai's new apartment.

Gai turned. "Oh, hey, Hinata, thanks for coming by."

Hinata smiled shyly. "Hey! Yeah."

Lee's eyes widened. "What is she doing here?"

"You're mom wants you to stay here while she's out hooking."

"What?"

"What?" Gai turned to leave.

"Wait, we don't need a babysitter! She's only four years older than me. You need to know that!" Lee pointed at Hinata. "She needs to know that!"

"I know! I know!" Gai ruffled his hair. "Man, are you growing up." He turned to Hinata. "Look at him. He's unbelievable, he's in love already."

Hinata pretended to be surprised. "Oh."

Lee's mouth was open and he dropped his head on the counter with a heavy sigh.

"Listen." Genma said to Tenten who was sitting next to Sakura at the Ramen Noodle Bar. "When my girl here passes. I'm gonna have another little celebration right here and I hope you can make it, because it's gonna be a special night.

Tenten smiled. "Okay."

Genma pecked Sakura's lips, sat back down, and commenced talking to some other colleagues of theirs.

Sakura turned to Tenten. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Tenten asked.

"Special night."

"Yeah..."

"You think he's gonna propose?"

"At the Ramen Noodle Bar? God, I hope not! Why? Do you want him to?" Tenten asked.

Sakura smiled slightly. "Well, he's nice."

"He's nice?! Sakura!?"

"He's a sweetheart. Look at him." Sakura nodded in the direction of Genma. He was showing one of his friends some game on his new iPad.

Tenten glared at her. "Sakura, look at you." Tenten poked her in the arm. "Look at you! If you end up with that, what am I gonna end up with?"

"Shut up!" Sakura exclaimed half jokingly.

Tenten shook her head. "It's just depressing!"

"Oh, come on!"

"Alright, you know what? I have to...I have to not big sister you. It's fine. It's..."

Tenten looked at Genma again who was snorting up a storm. "Jesus, really!? No! No! Not my life. Not my life. I'm going." Tenten grabbed her purse and stood. They hugged, and Tenten left.

Gai rode the escalator up to the second floor of the mall. He was wearing a yellow striped polo shirt, and light blue whitewashed pants. His hair was slicked to the side, and he was looking for Kakashi. This was where he said to meet him.

After about 10 minutes he was about to give up and just go home but then something shiny kept hitting his face. He looked in the direction of the blinding object and there was Kakashi about 100 feet away from him. He was leaning against the balcony eating a piece of pizza as casually as anyone can.

His hair was gelled and he was dressed in a white and blue striped button up shirt that was unbuttoned two buttons, and tucked into his slacks. Over the shirt was a jacket which had a corsage in the front pocket and it matched the pants nicely. He accessorized with a brown belt and watch.

Gai walked over to him. Kakashi felt the presence of someone walking towards him so he looked and saw it was Gai. Kakashi looked confusingly at him through his stunner shades, and once Gai stopped in front of him he said, "Let me ask you a question, Gai. How much money have you got today for clothes?"

"Um."

Kakashi looked down at Gai's shoes. "What happened to your feet?"

"What do you mean?" Gai also looked down at his feet. "These are my four-o-sevens."

"Oh, the four-o-sevens. Can I see them?"

"Yep." Gai took off his sneakers. "These offer a lot of support."

Kakashi looked at them a moment. "..Right." He chucked them off the balcony of the second story. Some people screamed below.

Gai immediately looked over the balcony. "Woah!"

"What are you, in a fraternity?"

"Are you insane?"

"Are you in a fraternity?" Kakashi repeated.

Gai ignored his question. "You could have hit somebody! What was that?"

Kakashi was straight faced. "Are you? I'm asking you a question. Are you in a fraternity?"

"No!"

"Are you Steve Jobs?"

"What?"

"Hold on a second!" Kakashi paused. "Are you the billionaire owner of Apple computers?"

"No!"

"Oh, okay. Well, in that case you have no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever!" Kakashi slapped two hands on either side of Gai's face. "Come on."

Kakashi took Gai to a hair salon in the mall called Hair Gone Wild.

Kakashi examined Gai's head carefully. "You see the problem is, your head is like...like the proportions of a Styrofoam peanut."

They left Hair Gone Wild after getting Gai's hair cut and went to Tuxedo Den.

"The skin under your eyes is starting to look like Hugh Hefner's ball sack," Kakashi said tossing a few shirts back on top of the rack.

Gai looked for the nearest mirror. "It does," he said feeling his face.

Gai sighed. "I think I'm set for jeans."

"No, you're not set for jeans, Gai," Kakashi said looking at the ones Gai was wearing currently.

Gai was trying to take a stand. "These are fine."

"You have a mom butt. Is that what you want?"

Gai sighed again. "Why don't we just go to The Gap? You know what? They have a s-" Gai looked up and noticed that Kakashi had left the store. "Okay." He ran out of the store and caught up to Kakashi. "What are you doing?"

Kakashi grabbed Gai's face with both of his hands. "Gai, you're better than The Gap. You're better than The Gap. Say it."

"...I'm better than The Gap?"

Kakashi smiled and slapped Gai in the face again. "Come on."

Gai rubbed his face. "God! Stop slapping me. Really."

Gai walked out of the dressing room with his new suit and haircut. "I feel kinda stupid, but..."

"Wow! Look at you!" Exclaimed Tiffany the dressing room clerk.

"I feel like I'm going skiing."

Kakashi turned to Tiffany. "Would you sleep with him?"

Gai couldnt believe Kakashi had just asked her that. "Jesus!"

Tiffany pondered a moment. "Hmm. Yeah, probably."

"Wha...? You would?" Gai was shocked. He started laughing nervously. "W-what are you even saying?"

"You see what just happened, Gai? Soon as you opened your mouth, Tiffany started doubting whether she wanted to sleep with you or not."

"...That's probably the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"No. This is." Kakashi walked up to him. "Your wife cheated on you because you lost sight of who you are as a man, as a husband and probably as a lover."

"You're right, that's meaner."

"So, let's talk about how many women you've been with," Kakashi said sipping his drink at the bar.

"Sexually?" Gai asked.

"Yeah. No, I mean break dance fighting!"

"One..."

Kakashi chuckled. "No, not at one time. How many in total?"

Gai gave Kakashi a look.

"Don't say it! Don't say it!" Kakashi shook his head.

"We met in high school, okay?" Gai said defensively.

"Oh, boy. You're kidding me? One woman?" Kakashi clicked his shot glass on the counter a few times. "That's great."

"Kurenai is beautiful."

"I guess."

"She was gorgeous. She was one of those women that could be wildly sexy and unbelievably cute all at the same time."

"Oh, man..."

"There was a little blip in the senior year, but-"

Kakashi rubbed his face tiredly. "I've literally stopped listening to Kurenai. I think we should start approaching women tonight. Are you ready to go?"

Gai lowered his head onto his crossed arms that were placed on the counter of the bar. "I miss my wife."

Authors Note: I hope you like this chapter! R&R