I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, OR CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.

All rights go to Masashi Kishimoto, and Dan Fogelman.

Soul Mate

Kakashi whispered to Gai as they walked over to the woman who Kakashi had pointed out to him. "Just no talking about your kids, your job, or Asuma Sarutobi. Don't you dare!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!"

Kakashi and Gai introduced themselves to the woman and then Kakashi sat in a booth behind them to listen in on their conversation.

Gai spoke first. "So, can I buy you a drink, um Shizune was it?"

"Yes, and no thank you."

"I'm gonna buy you a drink anyway." Gai motioned for the waitress to come over and he turned back to Shizune. "Grey Goose, right? Rocks, two limes?"

"I'm five years sober..."

The waitress made her way to their table. "What can I get for you?"

Gai started to freak out. "Nothing! Nothing! Go away, we're good. Please, don't come back ever."

Shizune simply smiled. "So what do you do, Gai?"

Gai thought back on what Kakashi had taught him. Never talk about yourself. Always her. "I don't know. What do you do, Shizune?"

"I asked you first." She insisted.

Gai narrowed his eyes trying to be cool. "I asked you second."

Shizune laughed at his humor. "No seriously, what do you do?"

"Seriously, what do you do?" Gai retorted going too far.

The smile left her face, and Kakashi had a facepalm moment. "You're really not gonna tell me what you do?"

"Ah..no?"

"Uh...okay," Shizune said. "I'm a teacher-"

"Boring! Come on! You gotta keep it interesting. Interest me," Gai interrupted as he crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair.

Shizune shook herself. "Uh...I studied at Oxford University for five years-"

"Boring! Wow! Teacher with an alcoholic dependency who studied at Oxford. Blah, Blah, Bluuh! England. Yuck!

Shizune was thoroughly annoyed. "You know, I think my friends just got here." She stood.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Gai ran after her. "Okay, you know what? I'm in Corporate Insurance. I have children, plural. And my wife was cheating on me with Asuma Sarutobi, which I wasn't supposed to tell you about either. But I did...nice to meet you."

"What were you supposed to tell me?"

"I don't...I don't know! I was supposed to say that you are the perfect combination of sexy and cute. Which is actually something that I used to say to my wife, but now it's become corrupted. I have eighteen layers of clothes on."

Gai rambled on. "I'm wearing a shirt and a tie and a sweater and a suede jacket that just seals in all the heat. Seals in all the juices. I'm just...it's all sweat under here."

He motioned with his hands where he was talking about. "This is just sweat from here down. I'm...this sweater, this is called slim cut, but it feels like a scuba suit." He looked down at her chest and then quickly back up. "-And I'm looking at your breasts. What's that about?"

Shizune said nothing for a while. Then she grinned from ear to ear. "You think I'm the perfect combination of sexy and cute?"

"...That's what you picked up from what I just said?"

"Mhmm." She purred.

"So...this...is my crappy...apartment." Gai said in between kisses. "It's comfy. It's what I had to move into...after my wife left."

Shizune moaned into his mouth. "You're being so honest."

Gai chuckled nervously all the while unsure where to put his hands. "You like that?"

"It's so different!" Shizune ripped his jacket off his body. "It's so hot!"

"You wanna hear something else? Really?" Gai asked trying to keep up with her pace.

"Mmhmm."

Gai continued. "I've only had sex with one woman in my entire life."

"Honest or not honest?" She asked pointing a finger at him.

"That's honest," he said gasping for air.

Shizune screamed with delight and grabbed Gai. She crashed her lips into his. "Tell me more!"

"I-I'm a little worried you have aids."

She suddenly stops kissing him and tries to pull away.

"Just a little...just...just a bit. It's okay, I'm not worried."

She throws him on the couch and puts one leg up on the coffee table. "What do you wanna do with me?"

"Aah! I wanna show you off to my ex-wife, and make her really jealous."

She squealed and jumped on top of him straddling his hips.

"I have never experienced that before in my life," Gai said more confidently then he had ever said anything in his whole life.

"But great," Kakashi pointed out.

"Most women are like that these days?" Gai asked referring to his encounter last night.

"God bless technology." Kakashi held up his drink.

Gai clinked his with Kakashi's. "God bless it!"

"Dude, I went home with this girl the other night, she was like cackling me the whole time we were...I felt like I was, you know, doing it with the tour guides from the Muppet Show."

"Hey, hot guy from the bar who hit on you is here," Tenten said smiling against the phone.

Sakura sighed. "Tenten, I'm studying."

"You should be studying the ceiling of his bedroom, is what you should studying. Come on, take a break! It will be good for you to get out. And by get out, I mean have hot guy from the bar knock you into his headboard until you see God."

"What is wrong with you?"

"You should be studying the gentle curve of his coc-"

Sakura's eyes widened. "Okay! Goodbye, Ten."

"Is that too much? Hello?"

"I just thought you'd wanna know what I heard about your pal, Gai," Hinata's mother said to Hiashi, Hinata's father.

"What about Mr. Yuhi, mom?" Hinata asked over hearing her parents conversation as she came down the stairs.

"Um...just apparently, Mr. Yuhi has become a real ladies man."

"What?" Hinata said in disbelief.

"Stop!" Hiashi exclaimed.

"She should know, she babysits for him. She's almost an adult." She turned to Hinata. "Lots of young women in and out of his apartment."

"She's too young for this. I don't like this S-E-X talk in front of the K-I-D-S."

"Sweetheart, first of all they can spell. Second of all, I'm just saying I think we were right in choosing Kurenai."

The bell rang after what seemed like the longest Math class of Hinata's life. She needed some advice. Womanly advice, about her...problem. She knew just the person to talk to, too.

She spotted her around the corner and made her way sneakily over to her.

"Are you following me?" Ino said looking down at her cell phone.

"Ino, uh...I just had a question for you."

"Okay, Hinata. What's up?" Ino was still texting.

"It's kind of on the personal side."

"Yep, my lips are ARH ARH ARH!"

Hinata looked mortified.

Ino sighed. "Seals. My lips are seals."

"...So my question, and I don't mean to be blunt or insulting, but lets just call it what it is. You're always sleeping with older guys, right?"

"Always," Ino said without blinking.

"Oh, um...so my question for you, Ino, is um...how do you do that? I mean like, how do you get them to see you as just not a kid in high school, you know, but like as someone who's mature and old?"

"First off, I have a huge rack."

Hinata looked at Ino's chest for a brief second. "Uh...yes, you do."

"You don't have a huge rack."

"N-no." Hinata tried not to let that insult her.

"Wait, how old is he?"

"Old..."

"Like really old?"

Hinata hesitated not sure what Ino would think after she told her. "Like parent old."

"Nasty, Hinata!" She said it in a congratulatory way.

"Exactly, that's what I was thinking, right?"

"Rock on!"

"T-thank you."

"You are so dirty!"

Hinata's confidence was growing by the second. "Yes, I know."

"You gotta force his hand. You know what I mean? Go teansy on his ass," Ino said with a wink.

"...Not following."

"A dirty picture."

"Oh! Oh!"

Ino put her phone away. "Make this face." Ino then began to moan loudly and rub her body.

"Jeez, Ino! Stop!" Hinata was trying to cover her so that no one would see.

"What? You put that on his radar and he won't see you as a little girl anymore, that's for sure."

As Hinata got her tray and slapped her food on it, she saw a huge crowd. She wandered over to it and waited as everyone else did.

"Behold! Hinata Hyuuga, you are my soul mate. The love of my life. I have marked myself with a scarlet H." Lee ripped his shirt open to reveal a large H written on his chest in what seemed like red paint. "-For you, Hinata!"

All the kids started laughing and Hinata was dying of embarrassment. She marched up to him and grabbed his arm. "Lee, get down from there!" She led him over to a tree; away from the laughing crowd. "This has to stop, Lee!

"You'll learn to love me, I promise!" Lee pleaded.

"No, I won't." Hinata insisted.

"Just cause I'm four years younger than you?"

"Because I love somebody else!"

"...Who is he?"

"He's older. And I didn't want my parents find out."

"You know I'll kill him if he hurts you," Lee said in all seriousness.

Hinata rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. Okay, Lee, this has to stop. Okay? No more. Grow up. I'll see you around."

"What's with all the moping?" Gai asked Lee as they played catch.

"Uh...nothing. It's just...there's a girl."

"A girl, huh? You like her?"

"I like Pringles. I mean, this girl, she is incredible. She's my soul mate, you know? She doesn't even care though."

"But she's your soul mate, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, you just don't give up on her, right?"

"Why not? You did." Lee threw the ball harder.

"I didn't give up. Okay? It's more complicated than that. I'm...I'm a different guy now."

"You're not a different guy, you just have different clothes."

Gai chuckled. "It's not that simple, kiddo."

"What kind of crap is that?"

Gai gave his son the eye. "Watch it!"

"Either you love her or you don't, and I know you do. I'm serious, dad. You just need some inspiration now. Right? Go get her back."

"Wow! How old are you?"

Kurenai arrived at Lee's parent teacher conference. Gai met her there and this is the first time she has seen him since his new-found confidence. Without a word they both sat down on either side of Lee's teachers door.

Kurenai fiddled with her sweater. "You look great, Gai."

"Oh. Well, it turns out I've bought the wrong sized suit for like twenty years."

"Oh, well. Whatever, you um...you look great."

"Thanks. You always look great," Gai said whole-heartedly.

"Oh, thanks."

Gai changed the subject. "What teacher is this?"

"Miss Tafferty. She's the one he pulled the 'Scarlet Letter asshole' routine on."

"Mmhmm. God, such a weird kid."

"I kinda like him though."

"Hmm. Yeah, me too. I'm glad we switched babies at the hospital." Gai joked.

"Me too. That other one's in jail probably."

"...I miss you, Kurenai. I made an effort when we were younger, didn't I? I mean, miniature golf and dancing. You were such a great dancer."

"I had to be, you were such a good miniature golfer." Kurenai smiled for the first time since she had told him that she wanted a divorce.

"I just, I don't know, I guess I got lazy. I got...I got boring, is what I got."

"No. No."

"And I'm so mad at you." He continued. "I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too, because I should not have jumped out of the car, I should have fought for you. Cause you fight for your soul mates. At least that's what my thirteen year old son tells me."

"He's a really strange kid."

"He scares the shit out of me." Gai admitted.

"I miss you too."

Just then the door opens and Miss Tafferty peeks her around it. "Mr. and Mrs." She looks up. "Yuhi."

Gai's eyes widened and he hastily moved inside the classroom.

Miss Tafferty slammed the door and walked over to the chalkboard. "As you know, Lee's shinning moment was when he set a school record for cursing in eighth grade English class," she said laughing as she wrote 'asshole' on the board. "Asshole! You're familiar with this word, Mrs. Yuhi?

"...Yes, I am. And I've spoken to the principal about-"

"Asshole, as in someone who tells a woman that he'll call and never does!" Miss Tafferty, I mean, Shizune, said through gritted teeth.

Gai rocked back and forth slightly. "Mmm."

Shizune carried on. "Asshole, as in someone who uses honesty to get a woman into bed with him, but he's actually full of shit, like the rest of them!"

"This isn't about Lee, is it?" Kurenai whispered to Gai.

"Asshole, as in someone who allows a woman to go downtown for forty-five minutes, because he's nervous!"

Kurenai threw her hands in the air. "Ew! Ew!"

"Alright! Alright! Alright! You know what? You know what? No. Here's the deal." Gai leaned over to Kurenai. "She's an alcoholic."

Shizune screams loudly and Gai grabs Kurenai and pushes her out of the door. They walk out to the school parking lot.

"I did. I slept with our son's eight grade English teacher."

Kurenai sighed. "I know. I know. And I...I cheated! So I have no right to be angry."

"That's not the point. When we were first married, you were the only woman that I had ever slept with." Gai couldn't stop himself. "-And now I have had sex with nine different women." He slapped his hand over his mouth. "God!"

"Nine!" She yelled.

"That..."

"Nine! Wow! You showed me!"

"I wasn't trying to show you. I was trying to move on. But I don't want to. You've always been the only one."

Shizune appears about 10 feet away from them; arms crossed. "Tell her she's the perfect combination of sexy and cute, asshole!"

"You said that to her?" He could tell that Kurenai was hurt. Beyond hurt.

"I did, yes."

Kurenai opened the driver's side door of the car. "Who are you?"

"...I'm your soulmate."

"Now Sakura, I uh...I did tell you that tonight would be a special night, if you pass the bar. So Sakura, I would like to formally ask you, in front of all our friends and colleagues," Sakura stared longingly into Genma's eyes. She couldn't wait to hear those four words. "-if you would like to become a permanent lawyer at the firm of Watkin, Goldberg and Schmidt? How about that?"

Everyone starts clapping and Sakura just stares at him. Disappointment written all over her face. Tenten rubbed her arm sympathetically.

"What?" Genma asked.

"I jus...um..."

"Well, what is it?"

"I thought that you were gonna propose, for some reason."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm just...it...it's just I'm a little thrown."

Genma shook his head. "I'm sorry. I...I didn't realize that you thought, that we were there."

"Oh, no! God, no! Don't be silly. I just...I'm um..."

"I need some time, I think, to figure out how I feel about us. You know? Long term." Genma explained.

"You need some time? You need some time to figure out how you feel about us? Wow! You know what? Thank you, Genma. Honestly, thank you very much for your job offer. I will consider it." She grabbed her purse and heads for the door. Tenten was smiling from ear to ear, and she high-fived her while she exited.

Sakura stormed out into the rain from her celebration party in nothing but a dress. No umbrella. She heads straight to the bar.

Once inside she spots him talking to a brunette. Stomping along the way, she pulls on his shoulder causing him to spin around. As soon as he recognizes her she grabbed the front of his coat and pulled him into a deep passionate kiss. He had no idea why this was happening but he liked it.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up off the ground and deepened the kiss. He finally set her down.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Kakashi Hatake, do you remember me?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

"Still find me attractive?"

"Yes."

"Still wanna take me home?"

"Yeah."

She kisses him again, but rougher this time. "Let's go."

Authors Note: This chapter took me foreeeever! I hope you like it :) Sorry if there are any mistakes, I will check it tomorrow. ^^ R & R