I do not own Naruto, or Crazy, Stupid, Love.

All rights go to Masashi Kishimoto, and Dan Fogelman.

Go Big Or Go Home

"Wait, you two know each other?" Kurenai asked, still blindfolded.

"How do you know my dad? Sakura interjected.

Kakashi's eyes widened with realization. "Oh, gosh."

"I'm not understanding what's going on here!" Gai exclaimed.

Sakura let out a frustrated sigh. "Dad, this is my boyfriend, Kakashi."

"No. No. No," Gai chanted, in disbelief of what he was hearing.

"I want to see the boyfriend! Can someone please take this off?" Kurenai pleaded, struggling with the scarf that was restricting her vision.

"How the hell do you have a 24-year old daughter, Gai?!" Kakashi spat.

"I was seventeen!" Gai hissed. "That's why we got married so young!"

"Why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"You told me never to talk about my children!" Gai turned to Sakura. "So, you two are together?"

"Yes," Sakura replied.

Gai shook his head vigorously. "No. No way. Break up right now."

"Daddy!" Sakura exclaimed.

Kakashi winced. "Please don't call him that. Gai, that's not going to happen."

"Well, then I'm going to murder you," Gai stated.

Kurenai managed to tug off her blindfold. "Oh, honey," she spoke, "he's cute."

"You!" An accusing voice called out. Gai spun around. "Hiashi?"

Hiashi lunges forward, tackling Gai to the concrete. Hinata was not far behind when she saw Gai and Hiashi fumbling around on the ground. "Daddy, no!" Hinata screamed.

"Hinata?" Lee spoke, looking longingly at her.

"What is happening?" Kurenai blurted.

Hiashi rapped his hands around Gai's neck. "I let her babysit for you, you sick son of a bitch! She's seventeen!"

Gai struggles to steady his breathing. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Hiashi ignored Gai. Hinata stepped in front of her father. "Stop! He didn't do anything. He doesn't even know."

Lee interrupts. "Know what?"

"Yeah, know what?!" Gai agrees.

"He doesn't even know that I'm in love with him!"

Lee turns and points accusingly at his father. "Him?!"

"Are you pointing at me!?" Gai exclaimed incredulously.

Lee finally processes everything. "Wait. My dad is the older guy you've been seeing?"

"I knew it!" Hiashi tries lunging at Gai once more, but Hinata grabs him.

"He doesn't even know about the naked pictures I made for him!" Hinata pleaded.

Gai's eyes practically pop out of his head. "WHAT?!"

"You sent my dad naked pictures?" Lee felt his heart break. "But Hinata, I love you..."

Gai stops freaking out momentarily. "Hinata is the one you're in love with," he stated in realization.

"I'm sorry, is Kurenai home?" All turn to where the voice was heard. "You left your sweater in my car," he smiled, holding the light blue object high.

"Who are you?" Sakura blurts.

"Asuma Sarutobi," he says plainly.

Kakashi squints his eyes. "Asuma Sarutobi...alright." He slides his ring off his right middle-finger.

Asuma looks around skeptically. "Is this a bad tim-" Kakashi lands a right hook to Asuma's face.

"Kakashi!" Sakura screams.

"You know how much misery you've put my friend through!?" Kakashi asks, standing over the pained Asuma.

Gai grabs Kakashi from behind. "Stay the hell away from my daughter!"

Hiashi grabs Gai from behind. "Stay the hell away from my daughter!"

Asuma grabs Hiashi from behind. "I don't even know you!"

"Look, I'm just gonna write domestic disturbance reported, but all clear, okay? 'Cause honestly, I don't even know what to put down here."

"Thank you, officer," Kurenai mumbles, embarrassed. He nods, walking toward the parked police car. "Just... simmer down, okay? We all have arguments, but if you're gonna fight - just do it inside. Keep it in the family, okay?"

Kakashi covers his mouth, silently chuckling.

Gai glares at him. "I'll kill you."

Asuma, Kakashi, Gai, and Hiashi sit on the curb bruised, and disheveled. Kurenai, Sakura, and Hinata stand in awkward silence. Lee kicks pebbles scattered among the sidewalk. He's heartbroken. Hinata won't like him because he's "too young" and yet she likes his dad, who could be her dad! Everything Gai set up for Kurenai was torn to pieces. There were holes in the grass, and flowers strewn all over the sidewalk. It looked like a hurricane had passed by.

Hiashi breaks the silence by letting out a frustrated sigh. He looks at the battered men seated next to him. Shaking his head, he stands, turning to Hinata. "Let's go."

Hinata twirls her hair with her index finger. "But dadd-"

"Now!"

"Okay.." Hinata follows after her father. She passes Lee, and gives him an apologetic look. He doesn't return her look, but instead turns away, slumping on the steps of the back porch.

Kakashi is the next one to sigh, then stand. He turns to Gai.

"Don't." Gai puts his hand up.

Deafeated, Kakashi walks over to a confused, and irritated Sakura. They start to walk away, but Gai interrupts their steps. "This man is a lowlife, and a womanizer."

Kakashi winces.

"Oh, that's ironic," Kurenai mutters under her breath.

Gai turns sharply. "I'm sorry, what?"

Kurenai simply rolls her eyes. Gai glares at her, but gives his attention back to Sakura. "You may not be able to see it, but I have. Over and over again. You are not to see him any more."

"Dad, c'mon, I'm not going to stop seeing him..."

Gai turns his back to them. "Well then, I don't have anything else to say to you."

Kurenai scoffs. "Gai, stop being unreasona-"

Gai snaps. "Get the hell out of my house!"

"It's not your house anymore, Gai!" Kurenai retorts.

"You made damn sure of that didn't you, sweetheart?!"

His words stung. There had been a whole lot of hurt passed around lately.

Sakura takes Kakashi's hand, and pulls him toward the front of the house where the car is parked. Kakashi tries one last time. "Gai, c'mon."

Gai won't look at him.

Emi runs up to Sakura. "Goodbye, Sakura."

"Goodbye, cutie," Sakura manages, her eyes blurred by tears.

Gai grabs his torn coat, and walks toward the front of the house. "She's all yours, Asuma," he calls back with disdain.

"Nice," Kurenai replies through gritted teeth.

Gai stops to look at Lee. "Go big or go home, right, buddy?"

Lee looks up for a moment, then glances at the disaster. "Go home, dad."

Authors Note: This was quite the cluster...thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! R&R