XXX
Three is not a crowd but a part-ay!
Raito dated. He kissed, forplayed, fucked. None of it was of any importance. It was simply a matter of giving in to his lesser instincts to consummate as a man. And 'virginity' is for sissies who don't shatter their shells; and Raito is an advocate of self-righteous choices and he believed profoundly that engaging in sex is just one of the things one must do for information and perhaps technique and leverage. Sex is an act of dismantling your inhibitions even if you have to pretend emotional connection with your mate. It only takes thirty minutes to do this anyway so Raito figured he can spare an amount of humanity for half an hour, exactly half an hour, thirty minutes, one thousand eight hundred seconds. Exactly.
Like any other day around the headquarters, Raito prepared his constitution for stressful long hours of internet surfing, analyzing and comparing the data documents of the Yotsuba group. The financial rank of the said company is suspiciously escalating, with its competitors' bosses suddenly dying of, get this, heart attacks. How convenient if Kira (L formed a theory that this is a different Kira) is now a big-time tycoon in suit. Gee, joy. Working for L is another delightful experience. Raito, his father and along with the other men are on a strict caffeine-and-doughnuts diet, provided of course by Watari. L's strictest order is to keep the coffee pouring and the sweets on every reachable distance. This is starting to feel like one of those nightmarish half-awake realities: men pushing the envelope of their stamina as food and health only appear questionable if you dwell too much on them.
In addition to being metaphysically incapable of eating normally, the police officers are not comfortable working alongside the outlaws Aiber and Wedy. Aiber the con-artist, Wedy the thief. This is some sort of twisted whacko illusion with management (L) and crew (them, the puppets) fighting the injustice (Kira) of this world. Raito sometimes amuses himself with stupid thoughts, a chore he vowed never to do, but when your blood system mingles with caffeine and sugar, there are not much options to begin with. Unless of course you shoot yourself.
I'm not there yet. Raito blinked as he stared into the computer screen for the seventh hour of the day. I'm not going mad yet. Moving his mouse, he clicked on a hyperlink and a series of pop-ups featuring people frolicking scattered distastefully across his screen. Brilliant.
Misa wasn't around to break the monotony. For three days she stayed locked in her room. Raito, through surveillance, could see her painting her nails or reading her mags. She never once looked at the camera. For three days. She has been playing some punk bullshit loud enough to tear the space between her room and the control room. Aizawa and Mogi actually found this noise better than silence and Matsuda knew the songs and (to everyone's aversion) sings along. Misa had never gone out to see Raito so she could whine or pet him or—god, he misses her! He knew it! Not eating properly and sleeping well is starting to show early signs of dementia.
It wasn't his fault that Misa and L participated in a blatant lack of discretion. What is it to him, he could never answer yet, but Raito found himself thinking about that incident for hours and hours now. He was overcome by a probing sensation when he remembers what Misa and L did together inside that room. It was fascinating, the way they touched each other. Disgusting, how he finds that fascinating. He had no idea why he felt…envious (!) Oh gods of inferno, he feels envious (?) because L pleasured Misa? He recalled hearing Misa's moans from afar as he approached the room. If only he wasn't puzzled as to why L addressed Misa as 'Misa-chan,' Raito wouldn't have come to investigate. And he ends up seeing stuff that damaged him exclusively for the next two weeks or so. He had to get out of the headquarters for some clear air but he didn't want L to get the wrong idea. Not like it was unpleasant, the groping and the kissing and—it was just weird. L and Misa? Misa and L? L and Misa! Misa and L!
Raito pinches the bridge of his nose. He cancels the pop-up windows splashing obscenity in his sight. Really, what gives? It's not like he found Misa special. She was just another piece of meat but she is a fine piece of meat at that. If he had more time in his hands, would he have done her already? Three days ago, he was opposed to the idea so what the hell is he thinking about right now? World famous L with his complete disregard for convention makes Raito look like a pampered, genius Ken doll while L is the one who plays around with Barbie, his Barbie.
A pop-up ad blinks colorfully, telling him he won something. Raito cancels the window, snarling a little. That Misa. She just had to mess around with a first-class detective just because she has an itch that Raito doesn't want to scratch. Raito wants to deny it but he found a lot of things stimulating about L. Are they latent sexual feelings, Raito wondered, but he got a hold of himself before thinking of that further. He would rather not cross that line. He cannot be gay, no even for L—or for anyone. True, the prospect of engaging with the same sex crossed his mind twice, thanks to this high school teacher he had so much respect for. He couldn't deny that he was attracted to said teacher, and he feared that attraction, hated everything about it and himself in the process. Now L is just L—he should not cross a risky line.
Now he thought about Hanazaki-sensei again, damn it. Raito carefully entertained the thought. He recalled freshman year with deliberate vagueness so not to relive the confusion. Back then, Hanazaki-sensei applauded his insights in class. He always asked Raito to stay behind and they would talk about subjects advance for his age. Hanazaki-sensei admired his easy confidence and wit, he told the young Raito once, and that he had the most honest eyes he's ever seen. Then he reaches out and brushes a strand of hair from Raito's forehead. He was twenty-three or something but when he smiled he looks about the same age as his students. Raito wanted to pursue the feelings he had since those meetings. There he was, young Raito infatuated with a male teacher, how—
"Damn fucking pop-up bullshit," Raito cuts off his line of thoughts and starts clicking angrily across his monitor. He dragged the weight of the mouse around like it did something to upset him. This made L glance at him.
"Yagami-kun?"
Raito glared at the infuriating specimen beside him. He managed a polite but cold, "Yes, what?"
"You look like you're preoccupied with something that displeases you."
"Not really. The pop-up windows are just too much sometimes."
"You should turn on the blocking system."
Why didn't he think about that—oh, he wants L dead right now for thinking something so simple before Raito did. Dead.
"Thank you, Ryuuzaki, that's a helpful advice." He smiles gently and tries avoiding eye contact. He then rubs his eyes with his knuckles and stifles a yawn. Misa, he had to talk to Misa. "Can I be excused, Ryuuzaki? I need to see my girlfriend."
He proclaimed it so casually when he never once had done that. It made L narrow his eyes suspiciously and the rest of the staff looked at their direction. Matsuda even cheered, "Eh, about time, Raito-kun! Misa-Misa is lonely right now too."
"Yes, that's why I need to see her." Raito stood up and stretched his arms. "Besides, I think she must be mad at me or something." The last statement was addressed specifically to give L a hint that Raito plans to talk to Misa about what happened.
The insomniac detective simply dismissed Raito with a wave of a hand. He then turned off the monitor where Misa's room is being watched over. This made Matsuda ask, "Ryuuzaki-kun, are you finally going to give them privacy to make out?"
Aizawa coughs violently. "Stop babbling like an idiot, Matsuda, and go back to work."
Raito sighed. He was glad that his father was taking a leak or something. He left the control room and arrived at Misa's room in no time. He knocked three times. "Misa? It's me. Can I come in?"
The punk bullshit she calls music was still jarring Raito's eardrums. Misa flings open the door and immediately launches into his arms. Raito almost fell back but he managed to hold her in a steady position. She was crying. This is not always a good sign.
"Misa is sorry! Please don't be mad at Misa! Misa is so, so sorry!" She was sobbing louder now and if it wasn't for the punk music, Raito would have found her cries noisier but less annoying. He couldn't be so hard on her. He didn't come here to antagonize her. He really didn't care if she wants to have sex with L. He just wants her to tell him exactly how she wants to settle this with him so they could all move on and work the Kira case—
Wait a second.
"Misa, please look at me." Raito held her face with both his hands. For a moment her eyes cleared from the tears. This gesture is always effective with irrational females. It makes them feel relevant. Raito knows that so he stayed that way, looking into her eyes heavy with eye shadow and mascara and pretends to like them. "Look, okay, I'm not mad at you. I think that if it makes you happy then you should go for it. I don't really see a problem with it."
"But isn't Raito jealous?"
Keep her calm, keep her calm. "Well, I was at first, to tell you the truth. But I realized we shouldn't be exclusive."
"Misa is not okay. Misa feels bad!"
"I understand, sweetheart. Please don't cry. I don't like seeing you like this." Raito smiles genuinely now. He rubs her cheeks tenderly.
Misa is smiling back, holding his hands on hers. "Raito is always so kind to Misa," she says softly. And of course Raito saw it. This is usually how it goes. This time he allowed Misa to reach out to him as he bends down and meets her halfway. Their lips met and she held onto him around his shoulders. He kissed her with softness that he knew girls liked and then he deepens the kiss after several seconds. He lets their mouths linger for another minute. Counting from ten to backwards, he begins to withdraw gracefully. Misa looks dazed.
"Raito must know he will always be Misa's love, okay?" she coos.
"Okay." Raito smiles again and pulls her into a safe embrace. He gathers her small frame and sighs into her hair. He doesn't mind this closeness because Misa only becomes irritating when she's in one of her unstoppable cheerful moods. But this he could handle and gradually enjoy. This is a perfect opening for his proposal.
"That was not half-bad, wasn't it?" Raito pulls her face close to his as he murmured against her lips. "But I'm sure the taste of L's saliva is sticky that it stays longer than it should. Too much sugar, maybe."
Misa winced. "Misa is happy that Raito kissed her! Do you want to have sex with Misa now? Misa will make it up to you."
"Actually there is one thing that I want you to do again," Raito fondled her hair, smiling at her surprised expression. Something is starting to stir inside Raito and he's about to see how deep it goes. He says. "I want you to seduce L for me."
"Why would Raito want Misa to do that!" she exclaimed defiantly. "What's on Raito mind? Why would Raito do this to Misa?" She was starting to cry again. He frowned and shushed her, pressing his lips against hers again.
When he pulled away, he looked into her eyes with as much authority as he can master and said. "Don't try to be so incorrigible, Misa. I understand you more than you know. I understand how you feel about Ryuuzaki."
Misa kept shaking her head until Raito held it in place with his hands. She starts talking. "Misa wasn't thinking of going too far. She wanted Raito to be her first. Ryuuzaki-san was just rebound for her."
"You lie, Misa." Raito hardened his stare. "L is more than a snack to you."
Misa froze, terrified and small in all her beauty and devotion to Raito. And then she responded. "Tell Misa something. Does Raito want Misa to have sex with Ryuuzaki?"
"Perhaps." Raito didn't even pause to think about his answer. Misa's eyes widened. "And don't judge me for this, Misa. I want to be able to trust you, okay? Like the way you trust me."
"Okay." Misa mumbled.
"I haven't told anyone about this but I—" Raito takes a deep breath and lets it all go. "I find some men attractive most of the time and I guess Ryuuzaki is one of them. Do you understand what I'm saying, Misa? I'm, well, attracted to Ryuuzaki too."
Misa's eyes went dead for a while.
"Oh, don't look so crushed," Raito laughed, fondling Misa's cheeks. "I want to have sex with you tonight if you like."
Misa brightens up when she heard that. She hugged Raito tightly.
"There is one condition."
Misa crossed her arms together and scoffed. "Boys and their rules. It makes Misa sick." She paused. "Um, is Raito serious about what he said earlier?"
"Yes, Misa, I am attracted to Ryuuzaki." Raito wanted to roll his eyes but didn't. "Boundaries are important but right now I am removing one boundary."
"Misa doesn't understand."
"How do you like it if you get to have sex with me and Ryuuzaki at the same time?"
"WHAT?" Misa's voice is now louder than the punk music in the background. "Why would Raito suggest—Raito wants the three of us to—? But Ryuuzaki is—and he told Misa he always suspected Raito was gay and Misa thinks Ryuuzaki's preference would be women so—Argh!"
Raito felt insulted for some reason but he smiled. "I think you should consider the possibility that maybe L is asexual. I think he is. Come on, Misa! Let me ask you again: Would you or would you not want me and Ryuuzaki at the same time?"
Misa looks lost for a moment. She bit her lip down and wanted Raito but it would be too awkward if L would be there. She could just imagine L interrupting or spoiling the mood with his random questions of things.
But the idea is just so...
"Okay," Misa reluctantly agrees. And then she smiled at last. "Misa will do what Raito wants, anything Raito wants."
She really didn't mean that like she used to. But with her boyfriend Raito she just has to swallow the fact that she is also a human being who possesses feelings so she could do everything he tells her especially if she loves him so much that she is ready to die for him.
An hour passed and Raito gave her the opportunity to be alone with L but she still has no clue how she could tell him. Finally, the detective noticed the tension.
"Does Misa-chan want to play with me again?" he asked.
"Doesn't Ryuuzaki-kun think he should slow down after Raito had found out about him and Misa?" she colored deeply.
"Relax, Misa-chan." L frowned, looking offended. "I just wanted to cheer you up. I just want to be a good friend."
Misa hated him. Hated how he managed to make her feel so—
"It's okay, Ryuuzaki-kun, Misa is not angry with you." Misa sighed.
"It amazes me though."
"What does?"
"How Misa-chan affords to be pretty even though she seems sad," he remarked with his childish smile, biting his index finger.
Raito never compliments her with so much honesty and Misa feels like she does not deserve this kind of treatment, especially from him. L is starting to get so comfortable around her. It may also seem like he was reaching out to her, possibly wanting for something else. Could it be really that?
She watched as L stared blankly at the opposite wall, chewing on his thumb. Misa often thought that maybe she deserves to be with a guy like L than with a guy like her Raito. Was she thinking of falling in love with L?
A part of her who loves Raito unconditionally protested but another part of her wonders eternally. She wonders if it would be different; and if this time she will be loved back. Impossible. L is somewhat as detached as Raito most days.
But in most days when he's not…
"Misa and Ryuuzaki-kun will always be good friends, okay?"
And that is all we could have.
"I guess it makes perfect sense if Misa-chan would be a good friend to me," L grinned. "I like Misa-chan a lot."
Misa hated him for that again. He looked at her so normally as if the circumstances between them were not a simple steamy interaction; as if what happened was not only a single moment of meaningless passion for him. His eyes remained gentle and welcoming. He kept his hands to himself and talked to her politely. He actually treated her with so much respect, with so much warmth.
"Misa wants to kiss you, Ryuuzaki-kun"
He stares. "Misa-chan can do that."
She leaned closer to him and planted a small kiss against his lips. Then she leaned back to her chair and watched his puzzled reaction.
"Why did Misa-chan kiss me like that?"
"Because she wants to be more than a good friend," she implied. "She wants to be a great friend."
L just stared at her. He stayed like that for a long time.
"Misa-chan looks happy again." L finally said. "Did I cause her change of mood?"
"In many ways." Misa smiled. "Listen Ryuuzaki-kun, Misa wants to play again with you tonight."
"Really?" His eyes narrowed.
"But wait until Misa says so," Misa smiles suggestively. "We are going to do something different, okay?"
"I understand," L nods.
Misa went back to her room and glanced at her watch. Yes, there is enough time to pull this off. She saw Raito ten minutes after that.
"Misa has a plan," she told him. "Go to the room with no cameras and wait for Misa there."
Raito cocks an eyebrow. "Make sure it works."
"Oh, it will," Misa winked at him before she went to the door and left.
With this, she gets to give Raito what he wants. With this, she could feel L's touch on her again, something she was thankful for. With this, she might figure out whom to love for real.
It was almost nine in the evening.
L's cell phone vibrated inside his pocket. He fumbled through it, lifted it up using the tips of his fingers and moved it some inches away from his ear. "Misa-chan?"
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Ryuuzaki-kun!" she answered brightly.
"It's fine," he replied. "Are you in the room?"
"Yes." Then she hung up.
L frowned and pushed himself from the chair. He walked on the hallway and stepped on something. When he looked down, he was surprised to see a chocolate bar. He picked it up and stared. He looked at the floor again and saw another one. L scratched his head and picked it up. And then he started to walk. Just a few inches away, he saw another one. The more he walked, the more chocolate bars appeared. He had at least eight of them now. L smiled at this, knowing that this is the game Misa wants to play with him.
He was literally crawling now, picking up the chocolate bars, keeping himself on the trail. When he turned to the corner, he gasped to see this time they were candy canes. He picked up a dozen of them. When he reached a staircase he saw cupcakes this time. L was pleased how Misa thought about this. This really grabs his attention.
He gets near the room and instead of sweet treats, he was now holding a bra. He proceeded further and more brassieres were scattered in all colors and designs. L dropped the chocolate bars, cupcakes and candy canes and concentrated picking up the undergarments instead. He was grinning, fascinated.
Misa-chan sure does have a wide range of wardrobe, he thought as he picked up his first set of panties. They were pink with ruffles. L held it by the end of his fingers, turning it in all angles.
The hell with this! He picked up everything as fast as he could, making sure nothing is left. He was really finding it a hard time to walk with all the baggage in his arms. When he got to the room, he collapsed on the floor, lying tiresomely around a pool of sweets and underwear.
"It's about time."
L looked across the room and saw Raito just sitting there.
"Yagami-kun, did you see Misa-chan? We are supposed to fornicate at this hour."
Raito laughed at the way L said it. He replied. "Do you mind if I watch?"
"The last time we were engaging on our affair, Yagami-kun was rude to intervene." L sat up and looked at his adversary calmly. "Does Yagami-kun plan to play the game as well?"
"If I could have your permission."
"Then I say no."
Raito faked a pained expression. "Why not?"
"It would mean that I have to fornicate with Yagami-kun," L explained coolly. "And though I am flattered, I denounce playing both fields as you obviously do. Where is Misa-chan?"
"I asked her to get something." Raito walked towards L and reached out to take a brassier, eyeing it. "And what are you saying about my sexuality earlier? How do you say I play for both sides?"
L nibbled at his thumb. "You give off that vibe."
"What vibe?" Raito looked annoyed.
"The bisexual vibe."
"Well, I have never had lovers of the same sex before."
"And neither will you have one at this very moment."
"Can I still watch?"
"Why does Yagami-kun suddenly have the impulse to watch me fornicate with his girlfriend?" Captain Sensitive.
"That sounds quite rhetoric." Raito remarked.
"Okay, I see your point, Yagami-kun!" L wriggled his fingers in a dramatic fashion. He hunches further and explains, "I can allow you to watch but if I change my mind or get tired, it can be your turn with her."
Oh, you bastard. If only Misa can hear this. Raito grins and asks. "And when will it be my turn with you?"
"Yagami-kun, I'm really flattered," he answers. "But truth is—"
Raito was fast. He pushed his mouth against the wide-eyed detective's, his hand cradling the back of his head. When he felt L's breath against his own, he got really excited. Raito understood now all those prepubescent feelings he had. He understood that he is after all quite bisexual with his choice of partners. And like hell he cared. L, meanwhile, is desirable for a freaky, abnormal person. And he tasted sweet, it's almost nauseating. But acceptable.
"Yagami-kun..." L muttered when Raito took a step back to watch his reaction.
"Don't you feel challenged?"
"If I tell you that I masturbate whenever I think of you, would you stop it?"
"Do you do that?" Raito mocks, emphasizing. "Masturbate? Think of me? At the same time?" Insert sarcasm here.
"No. I don't masturbate. I do think of you. And if you are Kira."
"Again with the accusation. And everyone masturbates, don't lie." Raito crossed his arms. "Are you shy about that?"
"My privacy is my business."
"And what about mine?"
"You asked Misa-chan for this, didn't you?" L unwrapped a chocolate bar.
"Yes."
"I figured as much."
"We don't have time to waste on this, Ryuuzaki." Raito said sternly. "Misa is willing to have sex with the two of us at the same time."
"Would she be able to satisfy us both at the same time, Yagami-kun?"
Raito thought about that. "I suppose not."
"I figure as much as well."
"Then how about a deal?" Raito suggested. "Misa wants me. You want her. I want you. Do you see that?"
"Yes, Yagami-kun." L gave him the flat eyes. "I can see you are a self-proclaimed homosexual. Very disappointing for your bisexuality."
"As I was saying," Raito continued, choosing to ignore the inflammatory remark. "While she satisfies you, I will satisfy her. And you will satisfy me."
"But I want to satisfy Misa-chan first." L complained.
"Okay then." Raito agreed. "But when it is my turn with her, you will satisfy me."
"I'm confused, Yagami-kun."
"Then we should have it spontaneously."
"But we are too systematic for spontaneous."
"Yes, I cannot settle for that." Raito replied. "But we need to reach an agreement here so what will you choose?"
"I will settle with my first decision," L answered. "I won't have sex with you."
"That is unlikely," Raito was starting to lose patience. "That deal is already made. I will forbid Misa to engage with you if I'm not included, you see. So what you're left to do is to choose how the three of us will proceed."
L nibbled on his thumb. The silence reminded Raito of Hanazaki-sensei; his quiet contemplation is always this eerie silence. But it made young Raito back then tense; especially when it was the day he finally confessed his feelings for the teacher.
And L is munching on that chocolate bar. Still, Raito waited for him to finish eating.
"How about Yagami-kun observes our fornication first." He suggested. "And then I will watch your own fornication with Misa-chan. We will have thirty minutes with her each. And afterwards—"
"She will be the one observing." Raito grinned.
"Yagami-kun, you are revolting."
Raito laughed. He smugly eyed the other man. "When Misa gets back here, let's tell her how we have decided, Ryuuzaki."
L was now devouring a cupcake. He pointed at the pile of undergarments and asked. "So do we get to keep her stuff? I ask because we should have a system as to how we divide the property." He fixed his eyes on a pair of green panties.
Raito raises an eyebrow. "You can have anything you like in her underwear collection, Ryuuzaki." He reaches inside his pocket and calls up Misa's cell. Speed dial helps greatly in urgent situations. And when the night is young, the wild will play.