Tall grasses swayed in the breeze, and the moon's reflection danced with the river. Small huts clustered together at the foot of the hills, beckoning weary travelers with the promise of simple living, good food and better company. It was beautiful over there - it always had been, but lately it had been becoming more so. It was starting to glow. The air... was alive. Tiny lights flashed all around, though whether they were fireflies or spirit particles, he couldn't tell. If only that were his... If only...

He longed for it. He ached for it.

But it was no use. As many times as he came here, it was always the same. No matter how he ran, he was never able to leave the edge of the forest. Here, in the damp forest where he stood, there was no such beauty. This land was shadowed; it was a place where danger was everywhere and nothing was as it seemed. In some areas, the ground itself seemed to twist as if the entire world existed on the surface of a wet rag being wrung out. There were things that looked near but were actually very far, and things that looked far but ended up behind after a few steps. There were poisonous-looking flowers underfoot, and creeping vines.

And vines growing quickly.

And vines growing matted.

And vines racing forth, exploding across the land as far as the eye could see. The vines snapped taut around his ankle, bringing him down. Down, on his knees. Green tendrils wound around his wrists, around his neck tight enough to make him wheeze, but not to choke. They braided themselves into a thick coil that draped over his shoulder and down his back. The forest grew to entrap him, and the knot of vines that lay at the crook of his neck, shaped like a snake's head, uncurled a little spiral tongue against his cheek, tasting him.

Call my name.

The vines spoke to him, many voices as one. It was at once masculine and feminine, high and low. Soft, elegant, hoarse, brutal. It was the voice of those who had no voice of their own, an amalgamation of downtrodden spirits and their silent screams for vengeance.

"Hello, Shinsou."

The vines shifted and gave way to scales - no longer green, but pure white. The snake wound tighter around its master, elongating to form new coils around his limbs. Longer and longer it stretched, longer than any snake, longer than any two or three snakes. The entire forest was snake. Where the vines had been, all was snake. Shinsou looped and twisted around the trees as well before finally wrapping around to come face to face. The shape-shifting spirit flicked its tongue out at Gin's nose in greeting.

Hello. It has been a while.

Gin grinned sheepishly at his zanpakutou. "Much as I love ya, Shinsou, it's gettin' hard to breathe. I'd be much obliged if ya'd let me go."

I just wanted to give you a hug...

Shinsou's hugs were killer, pun intended. Reluctantly, the snake let go. Rather than uncoiling, Shinsou contracted until all the excess length was gone and the spirit was only wrapped twice around Gin's right arm, his sword arm.

"Thank ya. That's much better now."

Gin stood up again, idly stroking Shinsou as he returned to his previous position at the edge of the forest. With his zanpakutou by his side, he resumed gazing at the beautiful land that was forbidden to him. Shinsou turned to him with a small tilt that served as a puzzled expression.

Do you still wish to go there? It is not real - you have said this.

"What I said was that nothin' here is real."

Intangible things can still be real. I am real.

"This world is a part of me as much as you are. If you're real, then so's that place. It all means somethin'."

So you have changed your mind and now believe that it is real, that you can go there, that you shall one day be able to step foot in that paradise. You believe this.

"It's real, insofar as it represents somethin' of mine. You're my power, this forest is my mind, and that place... Well, I've never understood because I've never been there. I've been thinkin', maybe it's a place that I ain't ever meant to go."

I will tell you what it is. I will tell you why you cannot enter.

"Ho? What's this, a straight answer from Shinsou? Surprisingly helpful today, aren't we? And you're usually such a pain in the ass, too."

I am you. I only tell you things that you already know. You have been wondering for a long time, and now you are beginning to understand. You already know this, but you do not want it to be true. I do not wish to serve a master who is a coward, so I will force you to acknowledge the truth.

"Bullshit."

Snake shit. That place is your heart.

For a few days now, Kira had felt like he was being watched by the girls. He couldn't quite bring himself to say "the Estrogen Brigade", so to Kira they were just "the girls". It seemed as if they always had someone keeping an eye on him, though the reason for such was a mystery.

Kira's first meeting with third seat Itou had been uneventful. Though the rankings were a farce, he had insisted on becoming acquainted with his only other commanding officer in the division. Captain Ichimaru introduced them with a dismissive wave of his hand, which Itou did not seem to mind. To Kira, she appeared to be a competent woman; one who was tolerant or even encouraging of the Third Division's playfulness as long as they still got their work done on time, but was herself rarely given to emotional displays. She wore no makeup nor adornments of any kind, and kept her hair tied back in a simple ponytail. Her speech was very straightforward, or as Captain Ichimaru said, "the livin' personification of blunt force trauma". (Itou, in return, said that Ichimaru "put a scavenger hunt in every sentence.")

But Kira had become accustomed to rough mannerisms through his friendship with Abarai Renji, and so found that he rather liked direct people. Provided, of course, that they were not unnecessarily rude, which Itou was not. She had been curtly professional to him, but the way she teased their captain had been affectionate, almost chiding him in a motherly way. It reminded Kira of Captain Unohana, but younger and a lot less scary. Perhaps she was not 'motherly', then, but more like an exasperated sibling. Like Lieutenant Matsumoto? With less cleavage...

Kira had thought they would get along... but now she was stalking him. This was awkward. At least she was somewhat stealthier than fourth seat Miyama or sixth seat Hamano, he thought, but that wasn't saying much. It was no less disturbing to know that today it was Itou who was eyeing him from across the room. It was Itou, after all, who was the eldest among the girls and had the most influence over them. Very likely it was Itou who came up with the idea of stalking Kira in the first place, and he shuddered at the thought.

Pretending not to notice that he was being followed, Kira moved away from the crowded lounge and into the hallway. He picked up the pace, turned a few sharp corners, and... Instead of losing her, he suddenly sensed that he had gained yet more stalkers! They were closing in on him, cornering him like a pack of wolves slavering over a rabbit.

If there was to be a confrontation, Kira would prefer it to be on his terms. He knew just the place - a smaller room, quiet and out of the way, with only a few dusty bookshelves, a worn couch, and a half-dead plant sitting out its last days on top of a wobbling table with a bokuto strapped to it as a prosthetic leg. Kira swiftly entered the tiny library to his right, knowing that it was usually unoccupied, and set about pulling random books from the shelves and perusing their contents.

Three distinct spiritual signatures pulsed behind him, and then dimmed. The girls had followed him in. He didn't even know why they bothered trying to hide themselves when he could clearly see the tops of their heads peeking out from behind the couch...

"You think he has a girlfriend?" Miyama whispered. He could still hear her over the sound of rustling pages.

"Boyfriend," Itou corrected.

Kira twitched and nearly dropped the book he was pretending to read. Itou did not even whisper; she wasn't even trying!

"Ahh~ Haru-chan's been reading too much homo stuff again." This was Hamano Arisu, Kira deduced. He tried to focus on the tone of voice more than the content of their conversation.

"He's Captain Ichimaru's boyfriend." Itou was very certain. As an aside, she said to Hamano, "And don't say 'homo stuff'. That's a derogatory term, and frankly, it's offensive."

"Your homo stuff is offensive. Your homo conspiracy theories are offensive. You know, Haru-chan," Hamano said in a saccharine voice, "not everyone's gay if they have close friends of the same sex."

Itou was not buying it. "Didn't you see the touching? Platonic friends don't stand that close to each other."

At this point, Kira had dropped all pretenses of not having noticed them. He stood there, staring at the mess with mouth agape as they bickered among themselves while still crouching behind the battered sofa.

"How close?" Miyama asked. Her eyes gleamed in a lascivious manner.

Itou took in a deep breath and schooled her features. She reached into an inner pocket of her uniform and, throwing a wink in Kira's direction, pulled out two finger puppets in the likeness of himself and Captain Ichimaru. There was no mistaking it even if they were made out of felt. Ichimaru-puppet wore a tiny version of the captain's haori, and his eyes were happily arched lines. Kira-puppet wore a tiny worried frown and shared his real-life counterpart's distinctive hair.

Itou wiggled them teasingly. Her eyes twinkled mischievously even while the rest of her face remained impassive. "This close!" she said, moving the puppets, one on each index finger, until they were pressed together side by side. "Then they made out like this!" She wound the finger puppets around each other.

Kira was horrified. His puppet self writhed scandalously before his very eyes, trapped in Ichimaru-puppet's lewd embrace.

"Itou-san! P-puppets... Why... H-how?"

"What? It's a woman's intuition." She looked him straight in the eye and pointed at her temple with the finger that still wore Ichimaru-puppet. "I just know these things."

"Intuition my ass! You spied on them!" Miyama huffed, snapping her fan open. With their cover undeniably broken, there was no need for her keep up pretenses. She plopped herself on the arm of the couch and crossed her legs, fanning herself in the image of a haughty empress. "You spied on them and you didn't even get me pictures!"

"I didn't see anything! The door was locked."

It meant that she had listened! "Y-y-you spied on us?"

Itou once again leveled him with her poker face. "It was hard not to. You were loud."

Inose was right! The women of the Third Division were extremely fearsome. Truly, he did not know what to say. There were many times in Kira's life that he felt like he'd fallen into a bizarro world, especially after making the acquaintance of one Ichimaru Gin. This was one of them.

"Don't worry," Itou said, holding up a hand. "I left before you guys got to the main course."

"No! Nonono, you're mistaken! There was no main course!" he said, flailing uselessly.

"Oh?" Miyama leaned in and put a hand on her chin. "Do tell... Did he leave you hard and aching? Did you fight over who would be on top? Did he-"

"Stop that, Chieko." It was Hamano, who stood to put a hand on Miyama's shoulder. "If you keep borrowing Haru-chan's homo porn, you'll grow a dick. You can borrow my porn instead."

Itou, having settled herself on the couch, poked her head in between the two. "Is it lesbian porn? If so, can I borrow some, too?"

"Shut up, you queer."

"Fine, be that way. I'll just get some from our captain. He's the source of it all anyway."

"Captain... source... porn..."

Kira's brain had been fried. He looked back and forth at the three women in front of him, hoping that one would burst out laughing and tell him it had all been a joke. None did so. But really, he told himself, the books they had recently imported from the Living World couldn't all have been erotica, could they? Captain Ichimaru couldn't really be at the center of the Third Division's porn trade, could he? Itou seemed serious about it, but then again, Kira had come to the belated realization that Itou was unusually skilled in pulling pranks with a straight face. He could only hope that she was joking.

It was Hamano who took pity on him and broke the silence. "Come, Estrogen Brigade! To Wonderland!"

"Yeah!" Miyama raised a fist to the rallying cry. She latched herself onto Kira's arm and dragged him along behind Hamano, leaving Itou to saunter slowly after them, bringing up the rear.

They were all smirks and knowing glances as they marched him to his doom. Kira was left with the sinking feeling that he had fallen neatly into their trap.

Shinsou's multitudinous voice rang through Gin's soul and echoed throughout.

It is your heart.

"Why? How?"

Why can you not enter your own heart, or why is it changing? How can you enter, or how is it that your heart came to be this way? Which do you mean to ask?

"I dunno. All of it." He continued to stare at the silhouettes of paradise even while a numbness akin to cold dread settled in his chest.

Shinsou slithered higher up Gin's arm and lovingly, pityingly caressed his face with its own.

Your heart takes this form because

"That li'l village was where I was gonna live with my mother. But I never got there, so I keep chasin' it, and I put ev'rything I love over there to keep it away from me. To keep it safe."

You cannot enter your own heart because

"I don't love myself."

It is changing because

"It's growin'. New things're comin' in."

New people, Shinsou corrected. You are never able to keep the gates closed for long. To all but your enemies and yourself, that is.

Gin frowned at Shinsou, but the snake lifted its nose in the air in reptilian snobbery.

You suck at being evil.

"That hurts my feelin's! And I worked so hard at bein' a bastard..." Gin prodded Shinsou's head a few times, making the snake hiss in discomfort.

So you admit that you have feelings.

"I don't lie to myself, if that's what ya implyin'. In my heart, all that I love, an' everything that's too good for me. That's what that li'l village represents."

You see? I told you these were all things you already knew.

As Shinsou's voice faded, the zanpakutou melted into a clump of vines. It wilted, crumbling into a fine dust in Gin's hands along with the forest and the sparkling lands beyond.

In a flash, he returned to consciousness and was seated in a meditative pose on a sunny veranda overlooking one of the Third Division's courtyards. All was neat and orderly, with not one hint of of gravity wells or curved spaces where distance could not be judged. No, discord such as that lingered only in Gin's mind while his heart, his untouchable heart, had started to glow. The cause was obvious.

Gin dusted himself off and went inside with a smile and a hummed song upon his lips in stark contrast to the unease he felt inside.

"Ahh~ Welcome to Wonderland," Hamano said. She burst through the doors with her arms flung wide open.

Wonderland was strange, but not exactly wonderful or wondrous or anything else that the name might imply. It looked suspiciously like an office. No, it was an office. The layout was exactly the same as the office that Kira had been assigned to, and it was even in the same wing of the administrative building, just one corridor down from the captain's quarters. The desk, the filing cabinets, and the windows were all the same.

What set this room apart from others was that there were splashes of paint all over the walls and a strange fixture taking up most of the free space in the center. Kira couldn't tell what it was supposed to be, though it looked like it was made from a gigantic patchwork quilt suspended from a clothesline that ran from wall to wall, bisecting the room. The ends of the quilt had been pulled apart and attached below, creating a triangular tent of sorts, and more blankets hung from the front and back like doors.

He was contemplating the blanket-tent when it began to rumble. Two girls popped out from the fort. They were the youngest so far, appearing in their early teens. One had glasses too large for her face and kept her hair in cute pigtails, and the other was boyish in appearance and scuffed up like she'd been in a fight. They waved to him shyly. Kira hesitatingly waved back at them with his free arm, and then turned to ask Miyama a question... But he couldn't get it out because she was still snuggling him. He turned to Itou instead.

"What room is this, exactly?" Kira asked.

"My office. Pancake-chest over there decided to take up interior decorating." Itou pointed to Hamano, who had taken to twirling about, gesturing to her colorful abstract creations upon the walls.

Hamano, having regained Kira's attention, twirled back over to him. "I'm Arisu," she said, introducing herself with a graceful, deep curtsy. "This is Chieko, our Queen of Hearts. The not-quite-twins, accident-prone-Rie and Fumi-the-geek. Or as I call them, Tweedledee and Tweedledum. And... that one. You can be the caterpillar or something." She dismissed Itou with a shooing gesture.

Itou rolled her eyes, but turned and nodded at Kira. "Call me Haru."

"It's your office, Haru-san?"

"Yes."

"Not Hamano's."

"No."

Kira was confused as to why she let her subordinates take over her office in such a way. His brows drew down in a worried frown, but Itou seemed amused at his predicament.

"Tea party!" Arisu cried from across the room.

"Yeah!" Miyama leapt up, finally letting go of Kira's arm to go chasing after her friend. "Let's use the new stuff! Good thing I hit up Captain Aizen last week - that man always has tea!"

Rie and Fumi pulled open the blanket-doors of their hideout and rushed to push tables and chairs inside. Touda Rie and Asahina Fumi, both currently fifth seats along with Inose, Kira's mind supplied.

Kira watched them bustle about in preparation, mildly impressed at the enthusiasm with the girls worked while the part of him that was still on duty lamented that the division would run so smoothly if only they put that much energy into their actual jobs.

Miyama bounded back to his side and guided him over to their tent, with Itou following. The girls had filled in from the back, leaving Kira to take the place closest to the entrance - perfect for making a quick getaway, if one was needed. Itou sidled up to him as they took their seats, and she spoke to him softly so as not to attract too much attention from the others.

"So. How are things going between you two?"

"I don't know what you mean," Kira said. He tried to keep a straight face.

"Well, he totally jumped you, right? That was my idea. I'm glad he finally decided to listen to the advice of his elders." She nodded to herself in satisfaction. "Now you have a date planned. Tell me you have a date planned or you're eloping or something."

"Umm... no."

"Tch! Indirect bastard. I bet he hasn't even told you how much he likes you."

"Ahh~ Haru-chan's turning everything into a homo drama again," Arisu said. She settled herself down daintily and began to pour tea into pink ceramic cups.

"Haru-chan outranks you, now and always."

"Pulling rank is a move one makes when there has been a failure of cunning," she snapped back, her delicate features contorting into a vicious sneer.

Itou impassively looked her opponent up and down, purposely letting her eyes linger over the chest area. "It's not about rank. It's about you being flatter than Inose."

"Ooooh, burn~!" The peanut gallery chimed in as one much to Arisu's annoyance.

"Now, now... Haru's chest ain't nothin' to write home about, either. Accordin' to the rules, I woulda made ya my lieutenant if ya had lieutenant-sized knockers."

Kira froze at that unmistakable voice, and at the hand that laid across his shoulder. The other hand had grabbed onto Itou. Captain Ichimaru's head poked in between them, and he was grinning wildly.

Itou, unfazed, flicked their captain in the forehead. "According to the rules, which, need I remind you, Lieutenant Matsumoto made up while drunk, only Lieutenant Matsumoto has lieutenant-sized knockers."

"That's why she's a lieutenant!" he chirped. "Now, what's goin' on here? Were ya havin' a party that I wasn't invited to?"

"Captain!" Miyama raised her hand high in the air, bouncing in her seat. "We were getting to know Kira! He's adorable!" She clutched her hands to her chest and squealed.

"Ahh~ It's true. Kira-san is an interesting person, so we brought him here for a chat."

Rie and Fumi nodded vigorously.

With a smirk, Ichimaru turned to his third seat, who had not yet confirmed what the others were saying. "And you, Haru? Was that what you were doin' too?"

"No. I was harassing your boyfriend." The finger puppets reappeared and smooched.

Kira sighed and closed his eyes, having gotten used having his nerves frazzled. Suddenly, there was a gentle touch upon his lips and he gasped, eyes snapping open just as Captain Ichimaru pulled away. Gin's eyes were open just a bit, reflecting just a sliver of shining light like twin crescent moons, and when he breathed, the puff of air tickled Kira's lips.

"Aww~" The girls gathered around and cooed at their captain.

It was, to put it simply, disturbing. Especially in light of the unexpected display of affection Kira had just been given. Kira had never thought he would see the day when Captain Ichimaru, distrusted as he was by the majority of the Gotei 13, would be fawned over and his hair petted as if he were a harmless kitten.

"Ahh~ but he is a cat. I have decided he is," Arisu said. She turned her penetrating gaze at Kira, and he swore he caught a glimpse of unholy glee in her eyes. "He's the Cheshire Cat, to be precise." Then, to Ichimaru she said, "Captain, after extensive searching, we have found him at last! The White Rabbit! See! The way he twitches like a rabbit, and his... his... all of him! He is very rabbit-like. Very cute."

Captain Ichimaru merely laughed at her declaration. The girls continued to coo over him, and even Itou reached a hand over to ruffle his hair.

"Is your head lonely, Kira?" Miyama asked.

"What? N-no! I'm fine, really!"

"Can I pet you anyway?"

"Um, that doesn't sound right..."

The members of the Third Division were strange, very strange. (They were much like their captain in that way.) If one was having a good day, one could say there was an atmosphere of childlike wonder. To anyone else, it was a madhouse.

Kira was one of them and he felt, for the first time since his arrival, as if he had come home.