A/N: The semester is FINALLY over (I can't explain how happy I am) and I have been able to bring some attention back to this. This chapter is a little rough (I started it a little while ago and once again forgot where I wanted to take it) and it's probably a little rushed, too, but hopefully I can end this story on a strong note (there's about two chapters left)!

-o-o-o-

Upon discovering what had happened, Atticus had quickly ushered Jean out of the Landing. He was straight-faced and pale, most likely ashamed of what his brother had done. He said nothing as he led the sobbing Jean past his sisters, who were for once completely silent with shock. The sisters didn't try to stop Atticus, who said absolutely nothing as he left the Landing, sharply closing the front door behind him. This all happened as Jack stood there, frozen as a statue and watching the events unfold as though he was not even in his own body.

After Atticus had left, Alexandra stared at him with a dark expression on her face. "What," she asked slowly, her voice shaking from shock and anger. "Did you do?" She asked again, wrapping her arms around her chest.

He hadn't even tried to explain himself to his sisters, who watched him with wide, worried eyes. Instead, he retorted with cheap insults and rude comments that were enough to even make Alexandra look as though she was going to cry. They had pleaded with him, to think about Atticus—to think about Jean and what he did. But he didn't want to think about it. He was full of shame and sorrow and anger and the emotions were quickly filling him up, making him feel as though he was about to crack. They couldn't possibly understand what had been going on in his mind, they didn't know the entire story—they would never understand.

So, instead of even trying to explain the only thing that Jack had been successful at was making his sisters feel almost as bad as Jean probably was.

After admitting defeat, his sisters eventually stopped trying to understand what had happened and instead retired for bed. They gave him sad and disapproving looks before they turned their backs to him and walked away, leaving him alone in the study once again.

He hadn't known who he had become. Initially, he blamed her. He blamed her for waltzing into his life and stealing his heart in the first place. He blamed her for waltzing back into his life on the arm of his brother and rubbing everything in his face. He blamed her for existing.

But he still could have controlled himself.

It was as though she was some sort of sorceress who entered his life and performed some spell that changed who he was entirely. It was as though whenever she was in his presence he turned into an entirely different person, a person his family wouldn't be proud of – a person he shouldn't be proud of.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to break something. The anger that he had been feeling towards her for so long had transformed into a sick feeling of anger and hatred towards himself. This wasn't who he was! He was John Hale Finch, son of Jeremy Finch—a man who had been raised to be respectable, honorable and kind.

He most certainly wasn't those things any more. He had turned into a vicious, jealous monster who inadvertently damaged his brother's life. He turned into a petty being who would quickly blame anyone but himself for his actions. He had fallen victim to lust and his own selfish desires and became one of those people that Alexandra was so quick to judge. Hell, he'd become one of those trashy men that he was so quick to judge.

What would happen, now? Would his sisters ever look at him the same? Would Atticus ever trust him again? What about Jean? All of his interactions with her will probably be awkward and spiteful for the rest of his life. He'd probably never see her or Atticus, with the exception of Christmas and the Finch family reunion, and even then he'd probably dread those occasions for years to come.

He had screwed up and he wasn't sure if he could fix it. A simple apology would not do the trick, he would have to prove he was truly remorseful. Although he knew he'd come to regret this for the rest of his life, would he be able to convince his family? Would he be able to convince her?

-o-o-o-

"You were too drunk to get yourself into bed last night?" Alexandra's voice sneered, causing Jack to stir awake. He was in his father's old, stiff leather chair. His mouth was dry and his neck hurt from the angle he had been sleeping in.

Shamefully, he didn't answer.

"You don't need to speak." She sighed, crossing her arms. "I just thought I'd tell you that you should probably go back to Nashville."

"What about Christmas?" He croaked, his voice sounding like nothing more than a whisper.

"Caroline's left to go back to Mobile and Atticus isn't comin' anymore," his sister explained. "Jimmy and I are spending time with his mother instead."

Jack wanted to laugh, but didn't. Alexandra hated her old mother-in-law.

"Jean broke off their engagement last night." Alexandra said bluntly. "Atticus is takin' her back to Montgomery today, and the poor thing has decided to spend Christmas alone." Because of you, she should have added (though she didn't need to).

He felt his heart rise to his throat as he slowly sat up in the chair. "What?" He asked, although he didn't need any further clarification.

Alexandra let her arms drop to her side and her expression softened. "He didn't explain much," she said truthfully. "He just told me what had happened and that he wasn't feelin' up for Christmas." She gave Jack a sad look. "Listen, you don't need to go back to Nashville—you can come with us—"

He flashed his sister a pathetic smile. "And spend time with Jimmy and his mother?"

"It's better than bein' alone."

"I think I deserve to be alone for a little while."

"I don't approve of what you did," she said, sounding as though she was struggling to find the right words to say. "I found it to be shameful and downright—"

"I already know this."

"I'm not finished." She replied starkly, scowling at him. "What you did was wrong and I'm angry about it, but you're still my brother and I love you."

He looked at her in shock, causing her to scoff at him. "You're actin' like I've never said that before."

"I think the last time you told me you loved me was when I was five." He stated matter-of-factly. He was trying to be funny, but by the look on her face he knew she wasn't amused.

"Maybe because you make it so difficult." She said. He knew she was trying to tease back, but he couldn't help but to think that there was a glimmer of truth in that statement. Realizing what she had said, Alexandra looked startled. "I didn't mean that."

"I know, Zandra."

She sighed again. "Heck," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Don't think of spendin' Christmas alone as a punishment – I'm surely jealous."

-o-o-o-

He was able to stay with Alexandra and her family for another full day before she had to leave to be with Jimmy's mother (for the first time in his life he saw his sister purposefully trying to be untimely). They had kindly dropped Jack off at the train station before departing for their own destination, but Jack didn't get on the train. Instead, he called himself a car to take him to Atticus' apartment in Maycomb.

If he didn't make things right now, he never would.

-o-o-o-

Atticus lived in a small, one-roomed apartment that was settled above some office in the middle of town and Jack had to climb up six flights of stairs in order to reach his final destination (he wasn't sure if it was his anxiety or the mere fact that he was out of shape, but he was incredibly out of breath by the third flight of stairs). At first, Atticus didn't answer when Jack knocked (actually pounded) on the door. He wasn't sure if Atticus was away from home or blatantly ignoring any guest who came by, but Jack would be damned if he left without at least talking to his brother. After five minutes of silence, Jack assumed that Atticus was gone and reluctantly turned to leave.

"Hello?" He heard his brother's voice call out as he was halfway down the first flight of stairs. Quickly, Jack came back up to see his brother standing in the doorway. He was cleanly shaved and dressed in his usual slacks and vest, but something about him just looked so defeated. And, for the first time in his life, Jack found himself nervous in the presence of his brother.

For a few moments the two brothers stood in silence, taking in the sight of one another. "You look like hell," Jack muttered after what seemed to have been an eternity.

"I could say the same for you."

"Atticus," he began, not knowing exactly what to say to his brother.

"I don't need to hear anything," his brother responded, trying to smile (it looked more like a grimace). "What's done is done."

"I'm sorry—"

"You don't need to be."

"You don't mean that."

"I don't say anything I don't mean."

"There can be exceptions."

"I'm not one for those."

"You're angry—"

"Of course I am," Atticus said calmly. Why was he always so calm?! "But I don't need an apology."

"What do you need?"

"I don't need anything."

"That's a lie."

"Jack, if it makes you feel better to apologize, then so be it." Atticus said. "But what's happened has happened and it would just be best if we moved past this."

Jack wasn't quite sure why he was so surprised by this. Atticus had always been the type to sweep his own personal problems under the rug and to move on from things as quickly as possible, so it shouldn't have been shocking that this was exactly what he was doing. "What happened?" Jack found himself asking. "I'll fix it, I'll talk—"

"I'm sure Jean would be appreciative if none of us spoke to her again." Atticus admitted. "I'm sure she'd like to move past this as well."

"But you were going to get married—"

"We all must accept that things change."

"But—"

"Jack, it's fine." Atticus said firmly. "I'm the one who made the mistake?"

"How—"

"I thought that we would all be able to move past everything," he admitted. "But I should've been wiser and ended things the moment she mentioned you—I didn't even think about you—"

"You've always thought about me." Jack said, wanting to scream at his brother. "For once in your life you were thinking about what made you happy. I'm the one who messed everything up, you should want to kill me right now."

"You're making this out to be a bigger deal than it is, Jack." Atticus said. "You're my brother, you come first—I'm afraid this entire ordeal was inevitable from the start."

Jack wanted to grab his brother by the shoulders and shake sense into him. Why was he always so calm, so willing to forgive and accept his brother despite of what had happened? How was he able to move past this and act as though everything was normal? This certainly was not normal.

He wanted to apologize again. He wanted to tell his brother that this entire thing wasn't his fault. He wanted to vow that he'd go to Montgomery and beg Jean to not punish Atticus for something he had no control of. But he knew that Atticus would simply brush it off and tell Jack that he needn't worry or feel guilty, that everything was back to normal. And Jack did not want that. "I understand," Jack said softly, looking away from his brother. "That's what I needed to hear, I guess." He lied.

Jack bade Atticus farewell in the doorway. His brother had offered him a ride to the train station, but Jack refused. Despite what Atticus had felt, Jack was still full of so much shame that he found that he couldn't see his brother again until he had made everything right.

And that is why he bought a ticket to Montgomery once he had gotten to the train station.