Kay there is actually two switches in this chapter… one is blatantly clear and although I didn't have it in mind when I started this story, it kinda worked here, so I am sure that one will be obvious. The next switch starts in this chapter and is more hidden, but you might be able to see it…especially as the story continues…. Enjoy!

Bo lay in his own bed a week later though, in truth, he would rather have stayed in the hospital. He couldn't stand how everyone treated him, though the family had the very best intentions. Jesse would leave his work in the fields every hour or so and come into the house having "forgotten something" and checking on Bo while he was there. Daisy insisted on treating him as if he were a piece of fragile glass, ready to break at any moment, hardly daring to talk to him. Luke scarcely left his side, which normally Bo would have been grateful for but now…now it made him feel like a burden to everyone around him. It was like they were all waiting for something to happen and it drove Bo crazy.

He looked up as Luke entered the room, bringing with him a glass of water and a couple pills. "Time fer yer medicine, Bo." Bo nodded slowly. He hated this part of the day more than any other. It was bad enough that he would have to take these pills every day for the rest of his life, even though no one knew if they were really even doing what they were supposed to do: preventing more seizures. Bo hated the idea that his body was being controlled, not by himself, but of these two white pills that Luke held in his hand. What really made him feel horrible, however, was that as weak as he still was, he needed help to even get the pills swallowed. Now, as Luke gently lifted his head and held the glass to Bo's lips so he could swallow the bitter dose, he couldn't help wonder if things would ever be like they were.

Ever since the seizures had happened, Bo was weak. He had no energy left, not even to do the simplest tasks such as eat, brush his teeth, or wash himself. Luke had appointed himself to help Bo with everything he needed and, although Bo was thankful, he couldn't help the feeling that thing, this "epilepsy" had left him handicapped in every sense of the word. He didn't talk about it, nor did anyone else. It was like the whole subject had become taboo for the Duke family. In fact Daisy, when Cooter had come for a visit and asked how Bo was doing and if they had found out the reason for his epilepsy yet, had passionately declared, "it's a seizure disorder…that's all…that's all!" and ran from the room, loud enough for Bo to hear. It wasn't much really, but it devastated Bo. Maybe to Daisy there was a difference… and he supposed "epilepsy" did have a more grim sound to it than the polite term "seizure disorder" but it was all one and the same to Bo. Both meant pills, endless blood tests, weakness, no driving and the loss of life as he knew it.

"Can I get ya anythin' Bo?" asked Luke as he gently laid Bo's head back against the pillow.

"Yeah," began Bo quietly.

Luke looked at him anxiously. Bo hardly asked for anything, so when he did Luke tried his best to get it for him. "What?"

"My life back …"

Luke's heart ached at the sight of the tears that trickled down his cousin's cheeks. "Bo… don't do this t'yaself…" began Luke pleadingly.

"Why not? Everyone else feels sorry for me…why can't I?" asked Bo bitterly.

Luke shook his head. "We don't pity ya…we just wanna help is all."

"I…DON'T…WANT… HELP!" he yelled, wincing as the loud words made his head ache again. "I wanna drive… an' swim… I wanna go on a date an' not hafta remember t' take my pills with me…I wanna go out with friends an not hafta worry bout flappin' round like a fish in front of em… that's what I want Luke! Can ya give me that? Can ya?" asked Bo desperately the tears now flowing from his eyes.

Luke bit his lip. "You know I would if I could…"

"But ya can't Luke! No one can!"

"Don't give up Bo…ya's been so brave through all this Bo, an' I'm so proud of ya… don't give up now…please…" begged Luke.

"It ain't fair… it ain't fair!" sobbed Bo passionately.

Luke gently lifted Bo to a sitting position, holding him close against him, not surprised when Bo buried his head on his shoulder, clinging to his shirt.

"Shhhh Bo… easy now…" hushed Luke worriedly. The doctors had said that seizures could be triggered by strong emotion… and with the way Bo was carrying on, he was putting himself right in harms way.

Luke held Bo tight, gently rocking him as he cried until there were no tears left. "It's ok, Bo….it'll be ok."

"Luke?"

"Yeah buddy?" asked the older cousin with tenderness in his voice very few ever heard.

"Luke… I… I'm so scared…an' I don't like stayin stuck in this bed…"

Luke sighed softly. "I know Bo. They just wanna make sure this new medicine they switched ya to is workin, since the other two didn't. Jesse said maybe tomorrow ya could get up a bit, but he'd be a lot more willin' if ya'd eat something."

He was worried about that too. Bo had no appetite, and if anything was a tell-tale sign that something was wrong, that was it. Granted, he was still on a soft food diet because of the muscle pain in his jaw, but even so, he hardly touched anything they gave him. Jesse even made some of his famous crawdad bisque for him thinking he could eat the broth if nothing else, but Bo had left it untouched.

"I just ain't hungry," answered Bo, choking back salty tears.

Luke nodded. "I know ya ain't Bo, but if ya don't eat, ya ain't gonna have the energy to get up, even when ya's allowed to.

Bo shook his head. Why didn't they understand? He didn't want to eat. Even the thought of food made him sick to his stomach. It wasn't so much that he wasn't hungry… not really. It was more the fact that he didn't have strength to feed himself very well and that every swallow, every twinge of pain in his jaw when he moved it, served as a constant reminder of what could happen, enveloping Bo's heart in fear and making him lose any appetite he had had.

Luke shook his head slowly. Bo didn't refuse food, even when he was sick. Bo had said he was scared and Luke was almost certain that his fear was affecting his appetite, as well as his personality.

Bo had always been the more high-strung of the two cousins, quick to anger, quick to cry, his heart always on his sleeve for the world to see, but now…now it was even more so. Just last night, Luke had awoken to find silent tears streaming down Bo's cheeks. When he asked Bo what was wrong, the young man replied that he didn't know, but he hurt. In response, Luke had simply gathered Bo into his arms, in an effort to hug the pain away. There seemed to be nothing else that he could do.

"Maybe later then," answered Luke, noting how Bo had quieted down quite a bit. "Why dontcha rest a bit an maybe tomorrow ya can move around a bit…"

Bo nodded sullenly. He didn't want to move… he wanted to live.

Okay… I tried to update quicker this time…. I hope ya like it. If ya do, please let me know. Thanks! Jordyn