Author's notes: A few chapters left, and I'm not sure how many because I have deviated quite a bit from what I had planned. But, hey, that's how these things go, right? Anyways, the title for this chapter is brought to you by My Chemical Romance's perfect song The Ghost of You
Merlin had been riding towards Ealdor for the better part of seven hours when he finally couldn't stand the tornado of thought rushing and crashing around in his head anymore. All he could think about was Arthur's blank face, and the almost cold voice he had spoken to Merlin with. Merlin had his head between his knees, and was drawing in steady breaths. He was sitting right off the edge of the path so that anyone who happened to pass wouldn't see him and stop to ask questions.
Merlin may or may not have been twisting the events of that night over in his head. Every time he thought back on it, it seemed Arthur got either angrier or more disgusted. Maybe Merlin was projecting his own feeling onto Arthur. He was definitely angry and a bit disgusted at himself. Look at him, he was running away. From Arthur.
Merlin shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was not running away. He was giving Arthur some space so that he could think about everything that had happened. And maybe, one day, he would let Merlin come back. He let Gwen come back, after all.
Merlin took one last deep breath in, then stood up, and set off to Ealdor to see his mum.
Back in Camelot, Arthur and Mordred sit in complete silence in Arthur's bedchambers where they were having a classified meeting. Arthur had zoned out a little while ago, which left Mordred to his own thoughts.
When Mordred could no longer stand the silence, and not just today's, Mordred spoke, "I take it Merlin told you he was a sorcerer then?" He asked, not really a question.
Arthur's attention snapped to him immediately. "You knew?" he asked, outraged.
Mordred cleared his throat, almost regretting bringing this up if it would just make him a target to Arthur's wrath. "Well, um, yes."
Arthur's breathing got heavy and fast. He was pissed. He clenched his fist, trying to reign in his fury, but it was getting impossible. Merlin trusted Mordred more than he trusted Arthur? His fist clenched tighter his knuckles turning white, which Mordred noticed with a bit of fear. Still, Arthur's thoughts whirred. 'So he didn't trust me afterall. Just used me as protection. No, Merlin would never do that. But he still didn't trust me enough with his life. How could he trust Mordred more than me? Merlin and i are best friends. I need to know why. Why didn't he tell me.' Arthur's control finally snapped. He slammed his hand palm down on the table, startling Mordred, but Arthur didn't care, he needed answers. "Why would he tell you, and not me?"
Mordred saw the root of Arthur's fear and sought out to soothe him. "He never told me, Arthur. I promise you that. Any druid would be able to recognize Emrys when in his presence."
Mordred could see that that had calmed Arthur a bit. Then Arthur's brows furrowed again. "The druid from the festival, Hadrian, said something about 'Emrys', what is that?"
"Who, Arthur. And it's Merlin. Emrys is his druid name. It is thought that Emrys was the child of magic itself, that he was born to save and protect all magic kind, which includes you, my lord," Mordred smiled softly. "Merlin did not seek out other sorcerers to learn his magic, he comes by it naturally, I'm sure he was doing it before he could walk. He doesn't even need spells to cast, I've seen seen him do things instinctively. He only needs the words to sharpen his casting.
"It was once foretold that Emrys would be the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth." Arthur looked up at Mordred at this, curiosity winning out over his anger. "He has been by your side through everything, Arthur. If Emrys really wanted to rule or destroy you or Camelot, it would have been done long ago. He has had ample opportunity, and boundless magic. Merlin's destiny is to protect the Once and Future King of Albion. He has dedicated his life to protecting yours." Mordred paused, taking a breath to gather his thoughts.
"Trust him, sire. The only reason he did not tell you sooner was because he was scared, and deep down, you knew that already." With that, Mordred got up, and left Arthur to his thoughts.
Arthur looked down at his hands, thinking through everything Mordred had just told him. This was not the first time he had been told that he was the Once and Future King. And Merlin was constantly going on and on about his 'destiny'. Then it all finally clicks into place in Arthur's mind.
Not that Arthur fully doubted him, but now he really believed every word that Merlin had told him. Merlin was stupidly loyal. That made Arthur grin for the first time in what felt like centuries. He had thrown himself into the fire too many times for Arthur to have any illicit plans for Camelot's demise.
Then his smile fell when he saw in his mind Merlin's sorrowful face when he asked if he could leave Camelot. Arthur's heart clenched when he thought about Merlin's response to Arthur asking if he would be returning. Merlin had looked truthful and grief-stricken when he said he did not know. Which had broken Arthur's heart, because he did not know how long he could survive without Merlin by his side.
Arthur put his head in his hands, and thought about how he could possibly fix this whole mess. But a little more time couldn't hurt. He was still a bit sore from the news.