Author's notes: This one is short because the next one is gonna be looooong. So be prepared, and don't expect it to be published tomorrow because it will take a while to write and I need it to be perfect. So hang on to your pantaloons a be ready. For what, I'm not sure yet. but enjoy this one. The title for this chapter is from Kelley Clarkson's song Since You've Been Gone
Merlin never thought it would be so depressing to be able to do magic openly. Right now, he is sitting on the bench at the table in his mother's kitchen while he watches lunch make itself. His mother is outside, getting some clean water herself, she said she didn't want to just sit around all day doing nothing. Merlin has his elbow on the table with his head propped in his hand. He can see the carrots being cut into equal sizes, and the potatoes peeling themselves, but all he can really see is the Camelot kitchens. He also never really thought that he would miss the castle this much. He knew he'd miss Arthur, Gaius, Gwen, and other people, he just never knew he had started to see Camelot as more of a home than the one he was in now.
Hunith quietly opened the back door, not wanting to disturb Merlin's thoughts, especially if he was considering going back. She loved her son more than life itself, of course she did. And she has missed him dearly, but if he was this unhappy, she didn't want him to stay. She put the pot with the water in it on the wood stove, and grabbed the knife that was now mincing celery out of the air, and it went willingly, the magic leaving it the moment it touched her skin. She turned to Merlin, toying with the paring knife between her hands, and asked, "So, how long are you here this time, Merlin?"
Merlin continued to gaze unseeingly at the potatoes when he sighed and said, "I was actually thinking of staying, Mum." He looked at his mother, and tried to force a smile that did not convince Hunith even a little. "I could help you with the crops, the harvest is coming soon and it looks like it will be bountiful this year. Won't hurt to have a bit of extra help," Merlin waggled his fingers to imply his meaning.
Merlin's attempt at trying to lighten the mood had the opposite effect on his mother. Her frown deepened, and she looked sadly at Merlin. "You know you are more than welcome to come back home, honey. I have missed you so much. But you can't run away from this one. You need to go back"
Merlin gulped and looked away from his mother's gaze. He pinched his nose between his fingers then wiped his palm over his face quickly when he felt his nose sting, threatening tears. He sniffed them back, sick or crying, and looked out the window over the sink. "I'm not running, Mum. I'm escaping. I'm trying to move on and start my own life. Because since day one in Camelot, my life was Arthur Pendragon. Everything revolved around him, and for the longest time I hated it. But recently… well I'd come to be proud of it." He sniffed again, and looked in his mother's warm eyes. "And now, here I am. Not in Camelot. Not Arthur's manservant. And not Arthur's friend. So I have to be something now, and I choose to be a farmer. With a special skill set."
Hunith was about to reply, when they heard a small commotion just outside. Merlin released his magic from the food out of habit. Hunith went to the door, and saw a horse with a female rider, one she vaguely recognized. She smiled broadly at her when their eyes caught. Then she smirked at her son over her shoulder, saying "You've always been something, Merlin. But now someone is here to rescue you."
Merlin stood up, confused, and went to the door. He let out a surprised laugh, threw it open, and all but ran to engulf gwen in a hug. "Gwen! What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing, Merlin. It's been a while." Gwen said disapprovingly, but she smiled brightly and hugged Merlin back just as tightly. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too. C'mon, let's go inside." Merlin took Gwen's hand, and dragged her through the door and to the table. "Have a seat, I'll get you some water, while you answer my question: why are you here?"
"I wanted to come see you, Merlin. It's been over two weeks, that's a lengthy holiday."
"Holiday?" Merlin asked, confused.
"Yeah, Arthur said you went on holiday, said you needed some time off," Gwen asked, her brows drawn.
"Um, yeah. Time off. But I don't think I'll be coming back, and I know Arthur knows that too." Merlin confessed, head bowed to the floor avoiding Gwen's penetrating gaze.
Gwen stood up and approached Merlin. "Is that why he's been sulking about the castle for weeks?" Merlin looked up at that. Gwen sensed his unasked questions. "Yes, sulking half the time, and frustrated the other half. He had to get George to be his manservant because all of the other's weren't willing to face his mood swings," Gwen chuckled. "What happened, Merlin? Did you two have a falling out? Because it's happened before, and you've come through at the end every other time."
Merlin drew in a deep breath, wondering how much Arthur has shared. "It's a bit more complicated than any other time, Gwen. I don't think I'll be coming back because I told him… that I'm a-uh- I'm a sorcerer." Merlin looked away, not wanting to watch another friendship crumble, but when nothing happened he looked up.
Gwen was smiling slightly, a little sadly, but with a hint of relief. "I've had my suspicions since my father's miraculous return to health from that sickness, but it's never been strong enough for me to confront you about it. You are a strange one, Merlin, full of surprises. But that doesn't change the situation between you and Arthur."
"Yes it does! Gwen, I've betrayed his trust, there is no coming back from that." Merlin cried, frustrated.
Gwen sighed, also frustrated. "You didn't betray his trust, Merlin. Surprised the hell out of him? Definitely. But he can still trust you. You never destroyed Camelot." Merlin looked at her not swayed by her argument. Gwen huffed, "He's miserable, okay? He keeps telling me how he can't wait to get rid of George, because he does everything too perfectly." That got Merlin to smile.
Merlin looked down at the counter, thinking about everything that Gwen has told him. Then she opened her mouth to say something else, "So, Merlin, you never answered my question: how long are you staying?"
Merlin smiled, "Did my mother have you come to kick me out?" Gwen quirked her lips. Merlin looked back down. "I don't, I really don't know, Gwen."
"Okay," Gwen said decisively, "so you have the rest of the week, and then we go back to Camelot," at Merlin's incredulous look, Gwen continued, "together. I'm on holiday, too. But I only have a few days, or Lancelot get's worried," she smirked.
Merlin laughed at that. "Fine. But you have to help me finish lunch."
"Oh no, magic boy. Show me what you got. Go on, you know you want to impress me." Gwen waved him on, and Merlin smiled at Gwen to thank her for being alright with everything. She smiled back knowingly. That was why he liked Gwen, she knew who you were beneath the exterior and the fluff. Even though being a sorcerer was in no way, fluff.
Merlin cracked his knuckles, and pretended to stretch out his muscles, which made Gwen laugh. He shook out his hands and rolled his neck, then said dramatically, "Prepare to be amazed."