Written in fabulous EB Garamond
That was a lie, I'm sorry. What actually happened was that he slept for about an hour, and then woke up hungry and confused. Well, I'd better go see if I can kill some chickens, he said and walked out. The good thing is that there were chickens out in the open just above what he would hesitate to call a house, but in terms of what he could get, was a mansion. For now, until he actually has a mansion, but that's a long term goal. For now, he'll settle on the sandcastle. That would actually be pretty cool if I made a castle. Wait, that's not–whatever, this story's more sidetracked than... uh, things in sidings... "What is that?"
"No, seriously, what the fuck is that?" The six foot spider stood in front of him, eyes glowing red and legs extended. "Why are your eyes bioluminescent? That does jack shit for doing things in the day! Actually, how are you not blind?!" The spider, had it the mind or body to, would have loved to explain, but it had neither. S0, to compensate for its small vocabulary, it bit him. Hard. Very, very hard. "OW, GOD, NOW I CAN SEE YOU AREN'T READY TO SHARE THAT INFORMATION JUST YET! This is bullshit, I'm going to find someone else to talk to."
He walked away. Bad move. The spider, irritated from the shout, jumped at the chance to get some free hits from his exposed back. Biting and biting, he tore away the long black outercoat and hat, and started on the shirt. Just as the buttons were torn away, his and the spider's eye met. Seeing his chance, he drove his fist straight in, hard enough to destroy it. With enough time to get up, he readied his axe—more of a hatchet really—and downed the spider with a strike. He felt much stronger than usual, since usually he couldn't use an axe in combat. Although, to be honest, that was a spider, and he usually could stomp one out. EXCEPT WHEN THEY'RE AS WIDE AS I AM TALL!
"Man, I hope that these spiders aren't smart. I'd hate to have smart spiders after me, the ones at my house at least didn't really mind if I killed one as long as there weren't others around."
"Actually, the spiders—" He couldn't finish. He was wrong, though. The spiders, while not able to talk, certainly could follow a train of events. And this one pointed towards him being the murderer.
They finished their friend's job.