Pre-despair AU
There must be something here that you'll surely miss.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Mukuro knew her peaceful high school life was over when her sister brought up despair.
The despair scheme was still in its planning stages and it was decided that Hope's Peak Academy, the institutionalized antithesis of despair, would be the first spark to set hell upon the world. And although Mukuro was not totally against the idea, she was not fully supportive of it either. She was just indifferent. It didn't matter who was involved or where it would take place because she trusted Junko enough to know what she was doing. Besides, it wasn't her role to think. Her role was to be by her sister's side and slaughter whoever got in their way. So something as trivial such as the setting, never really stuck in her head for long. It was just such a minor detail that it did not even faze her the first time it was revealed.
Are you sure, Muku? There must be something here in this dump that you'll surely miss.
She's still not certain why her sister would ask her that when they'd still continue with the plans regardless. Was this another pocket of despair? Was she trying to make her feel despair? What was despair though? To be honest, Mukuro herself wasn't sure just what despair really was and why her sister's fascination of it but she never thought too much about it. Thinking was never her strong suit, that was Junko's. She had training and instincts but even when she's about to take someone's life, she does not think twice. She wasn't supposed to think. Or feel.
So why did she feel like there was something wrong?
If they're going to create despair at the heart of hope then what would happen to their classmates?
It never even occurred to her that they would get involved, not even when Junko asked her to think about whatever she'd miss of school. It was only when she spotted a class photo on her bedside table that she was able to connect that dots. How could she forget that she and her classmates attended the school that Junko had her eyes set on with despair? She never did dwell too long on relationships so maybe that's why it passed her mind. She bet that Junko knew she'd forget as well since who else would place the photo here? She didn't know what to do with that information. Her sister was trying to tell her something but anything more abstract than orders always confused her.
Was this related to what she said the other night? What about their classmates? Would she miss their classmates? Was that what this was about? To check her allegiance?
She supposed that to a certain extent, she would probably miss them but was it enough to choose them over her sister? Of course, not. She loved her sister more than anything in this world. Every classmate might as well been another faceless target she had to deal with. Well, maybe everyone except… But that's not the point. She's certain that Junko knew she would never back out on her so why did she bother letting her think? Thinking for herself was not her skill. Her purpose was to take orders and execute them, there was no use for thinking in between. Or at least that's what she kept telling herself whenever her thoughts would stray away.
Today was Friday, exactly five days since the dilemma first made itself known to her.
She was no closer to solving the puzzle? Mystery? Problem? She's not even sure if her sister was still expecting an answer from her. But just in case she was, Mukuro made it her duty to think about it carefully whenever she could. Nobody really talked to her unless necessary so her she'd be left with her thoughts undisturbed for a while just like now.
Lunch break was almost over and although since they've finished eating a while ago, she had retreated promptly to her seat while her sister set out to talk to whoever was willing to entertain her. She tried not to overthink about how Junko could casually chat with their classmates when she was planning something so despicable behind their backs. She wondered if she was having any internal conflict over this but it was difficult to tell. Mukuro may be poker-face but she knew that Junko was the one who was truly unreadable.
It was now only a matter of time before everyone who ate out in the cafeteria to come back. The door slid open and she spotted Naegi coming in as expected. She tried to keep her eyes on him, just to be sure there wouldn't be any untimely accident, but someone blocked her line of sight. To her surprise, it was her sister. Junko and Naegi were talking now. They're smiling and saying things just out of her earshot. All of a sudden, Mukuro felt out of place. She hasn't left her seat yet but she felt so far away. Maybe not fat, just separated. Was it because Junko was paying attention to someone else or was it… She's not in the mood to think any more.
And something in her was pushing her to hone in her hearing but she stopped herself. It's not like Junko wanted her to listen in, right? She would have told her so from the start. So there's no need to for her to eavesdrop on their conversation. But she kept them in the farthest corner of her eyes. And it was fine because it looked just like any normal conversation, nothing out of place and nothing too suspicious.
Until Naegi edged around Junko to wave at her and his smile was just so bright.
Mukuro didn't know what to do at first not until she remembered that this was Naegi and that any form of acknowledgement, no matter how small, was already enough for him. He understood and respected that she was a private person with little to no social skills at all. He was the only one who tried talking to her out of class and by now, it was almost natural to respond to his attempts. So out of habit, she tried to nod in his direction.
But then Junko turned her head slightly so. Her face away from Naegi, she gave Mukuro a withering glare.
And Mukuro's world collapsed in an instant. She knew that look. She has seen it far too many times. She has it painfully carved into her mind. That was the look she saw the most when it was just them. That was the look she knew meant only for her. That was the special look Junko has whenever she actually talked to her.
You're such a disappointment, Muku. A despairingly boring and godawful useless older sister. Why are you still alive if all you're going to do is be disappointing?
It forces her to look down just like the disappointment that she is.
She didn't even try to watch them after that. They probably talked some more until the bell rang. Contrary to her state of mind just minutes ago, her mind was now a clear, blank slate. Empty. Thinking never really did any good for her nor did it make much of a difference so she's dropped thinking for the day. She reasoned that she's already wasted too much time brooding that it was just a pointless effort.
And it wasn't because she was afraid she'd remember her sister's disapproving look.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
"Do you want to know what your two most favorite people in the world just talked about earlier?"
Her sister candidly opened the discussion after dinner. Honestly, she had not even thought about it ever since lunch break and she did not think it was important enough for Junko to bring it up again. Was she curious about it though? Maybe or perhaps not. She was not aware she was in the position to dwell on it. As long as Junko was involved but without direct orders of having Mukuro participate, she would know her place and stay out of it.
"Not really." She flatly said.
"Well, too bad! 'Cause I'm telling ya anyways!" Junko yelled at the top of her lungs in contrast to Mukuro's demeanor. Then she shifted to portray a more childish face and modulated her voice into a sickeningly sweet voice. She appeared absolutely innocent. "Your dearest Naegi asked me out on a date."
Mukuro just blinked at that.
"I see." She didn't seem the least bit fazed. Not by the personality change nor by the news.
She shifted again, this time a more serious persona surfaced. "You see? No you don't! You're as blind as they come." She crossed her arms and then spoke in a condescending tone. "What's with that boring reaction? Peh!"
"How would you have liked me to react?" She asked civilly.
Her arms flung high in frustration, she started yelling again in outrage. "How about outrageous! Absolutely furious! Pissed off jealous!" Then just as suddenly, her aura shrunk until she looked genuinely depressed. "Your cute adorable wittle sister is whisking away your meek naive boychild. Isn't that just tragic?"
Mukuro still hasn't mastered deciphering her sister's language so whenever she was confused, she'd timidly ask. This was one of those times. "...Do you want me to come?"
She started bawling like a little kid now. "An escort? What am I, five? That's mean older sis!" And as if a switch was flipped, the tears stopped. In her place was a cold and calculating genius. "No, but I will allow you to watch."
Watch was a word that even Mukuro knew. If it was just surveillance then even she could do this much.
"I understand." She nodded, more to herself. "I can watch out for you in case anything happens."
She thought that would be the end of the discussion.
Her voice practically dripped with sarcasm. "Are you blind and deaf?" Then she was the picture of boundless energy. "I didn't tell you to watch out, I said that you can watch. Silly sis such a silly mistake."
She didn't understand what her sister meant but she knew she'd get mad if she asked any more than two questions per conversation and she already reached her quota. So just like the trained dog that she was, she blindly obeyed.
"Okay." She hoped that answer would at least satisfy her.
Her accent changed this time. "Good. Now get yer ass out ya whippersnapper!" She started blushing wildly and drooling excessively like a dog in heat. "I have to prepare for Sunday's date. We're gonna have sooo much fun! And we'll do aaall sorts of things! Kyaaahh! "
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Even though it was a Saturday, Mukuro found herself in school.
"What do you think I should do?"
It was where she knew he would be. She didn't know why he was there on a weekend or if he even needed to be there in the first place but it was convenient for her to track him so easily. Getting him to cooperate was another obstacle.
"Here's some useful advice." He said flatly, his eyes never leaving the manga he was reading. "Leave me alone so I can read in peace."
In Mukuro's confusion as to what Junko told her last night, she thought that she'd sought an outsider's opinion. Which was why she sought after Yasuke Matsuda. He was the only person whom she could confide in with regards to Junko. They barely spoke with one another without her sister in between but she trusted him enough. At least, she thought she did because she wouldn't be here disclosing private matters with him if she didn't deem him trustworthy.
"I knew you lacked complex decision-making skills but I clearly underestimated you if you're coming here to ask me of all people for advice." He berated her without hesitation.
She looked down, ashamed. "But Junko wouldn't tell me what to do."
"So I'm your next go-to?" He sounded as if he was insulted but his apathetic mask hardly cracked.
She carefully chose her next words. "You two are… close."
Closer than them, the actual siblings. She knew Junko loved him more than their parents, more than anyone else, more than her. It was a bond that Mukuro had failed to create with her. They were just that close. So if anyone could come close to understanding Junko, she knew she had to go to the closest person to her which was Yasuke.
"Maybe you'd know what she wanted." She continued.
He raised an eyebrow at her. "If I could understand even just 10% of what's going on inside her ugly head then I'm pretty sure I would have turned myself in an institution by now." He paused. "Never mind, no institution is capable to handle that walking disaster. I'll probably erase my memories the soonest I try to understand that abomination on heels."
She's also gotten used to him spouting insults at her sister but since Junko didn't seem to mind, she never paid any attention to them.
"I just really don't know what to do." Mukuro sighed. She was getting desperate. "She told me I could do what I want but…"
He snorted and rolled his eyes at her. "Is thinking for yourself an option? I doubt it is but you should still consider it."
"So are you saying that I should do just that?" She tilted her head in thought.
"If that gets you out of my face sooner then yes, that's exactly what I meant." He was already shooing her away.
"I see…" She bowed slightly out of habit. "Thank you."
"Finally! Now go." He sighed exasperatedly.
"Then I'll be taking my leave." She was already at the door before she remembered to extend her gratitude. "And thank you for always looking after my sister."
There was a terse silence between them.
"Tch. As if I have a choice." He scoffed and went back to his manga.
Mukuro still had time before the date tomorrow and it seemed like she would spend most of it thinking.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Thinking for herself, huh?
It's Sunday morning and Junko has already set out for her date at 10AM. She didn't even say a single word to her. No order or set of instructions to follow. She really was on her own for this one. It wasn't even her who was going on a date, it was her sister. So why was she supposed to concern herself over it? Why was she even allowed to?
She didn't even know what going on a date meant. But something about Junko and Naegi being the people going out on one had her worried. Was she worried about Junko? But she could take care of herself. Was she worried about Naegi? But that's his decision and not hers to meddle with. Was she worried that something might happen to both of them? Something bad? Something good? Why was she even worried in the first place?
Mukuro thought of how simple her days at Fenrir were. Thinking took too much energy than she initially guessed. Things weren't so complicated when all you had to do was follow orders without questions. So being suddenly told to actually think for herself shook her training to the core. But being told to think was an order of its own kind and so she obeyed. She thought about it since yesterday and she's reached a conclusion on what to do today.
She finally decided to do what she always did which was to not act on her own. Without free will.
But her sister has other plans.
An hour after Junko left, Mukuro received a series of texts from her.
[come to this resto k? ASAP]
[oh and bring the bag on my bed]
[it's pink it's huge it's totally beautiful compared to ur drabs. Can't miss it]
[k thnx bye]
[PS don't u dare mess this up & do sumthing s2pid like showing ur ugly face]
So much for thinking for herself. In the end, Junko would always decide for her.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
The normal estimated travel time was thirty minutes but Mukuro was already at the location after ten. Her outfit consisted of a camo printed hoodie, faded sweatpants and combat boots, more to disguise her physique and partly due to the comfort they offered. She easily spotted Junko and Naegi seated at a table by the windows while she sat at a table on the opposite side, near the bathroom. She tried not to stare too long at them because she's not supposed to be this fascinated over them in casual attire. She's already seen Junko in a million of those outfits and Naegi?
Well, he looked different. Mukuro hardly ever saw him in anything other than standard uniform except during field trips. So this was what he wore usually? A zipped-up green hoodie, ordinary pants, and red sneakers. Oddly enough, she thought how fitting it looked on him. It was so simple, so ordinary, so like him to come in such clothes.
She ignored the fact that technically, they were both wearing hoodies, and whatever that meant.
One hand was draped over the bag she brought and her other hand was tucked in her pocket, clutching her phone. She had texted Junko the moment she arrived but she had yet to receive further instructions. So while waiting for her sister's signal, she opted to survey the area instead. After her tenth scan, she concluded that the place was safe enough. There didn't seem to be any looming threats nor did she sense any blood lust so she resorted to people watching.
And coincidentally, her eyes always wandered to their table. They were chatting loudly, at least on Junko's part. Naegi seemed to be nervous for some reason but he kept smiling. There was nothing really wrong or out of the ordinary with this but for some reason, Mukuro could not look away. It was accompanied by a feeling and it was not the pleasant sort. The longer she stared at them enjoying themselves together, the worse she felt about it. But no matter how hard she tried, she just could not look away.
She was afraid that something might happen the moment she looked away. But she didn't know what. She knew that there weren't any external dangers, the only kind of danger she knew how to deal with. Danger? Did she feel like something dangerous was about to happen? In some way, it did. She felt afraid but it wasn't just fear. She also felt morose at the same time. Like she was sad for some reason? She didn't quite understand it herself. She just felt so upset at whatever was happening but she was helpless to do anything about it. What exactly was this?
Was it despair?
And as if her sister could hear her thoughts, she turned her head slightly to the side.
Their eyes met.
Junko said something to Naegi and then got up and proceeded to the bathroom, not even batting an eyelash when she passed by her. Mukuro figured that was her cue so when Naegi wasn't looking, she snuck into the bathroom with the rather bulky bag in her hand. As soon as they confirmed that no one else was inside, she locked the door as prompted by her sister.
Then Junko started bawling right then and there. "Scary! It was so scary, Muku! Being alone with a guy is too scary for me!" She then blushed and maybe even panted a bit. "But that just makes it more exciting, riiiight?"
"I've brought what you asked for." Mukuro held the bag with a blank face. "Is there anything else you need?"
"Actually…" Her tone dropped to a serious octave and her face was vacant. "Go kill yourself."
"..."
She giggled ridiculously and reverted to a child. "Oopsie! I got my words mixed up. Sowwy, sis. I'm such a klutz! What I really meant is…" A switch flipped and her eyes were glazed with killing intent. "Could you stop existing for a while?"
"...Junko?"
She clapped her hands as a signal to close the discussion. A mischievous grin was plastered on her face. "Ready for your fairytale, Cindy?"
Mukuro could not comprehend what was happening. Junko pulled out all sorts of items out of the bag and her eyes widened at what they were. No wonder the bag was somewhat heavier than Junko's usual hand-carry. She then ordered Mukuro to strip and change clothes. After which, came the makeup and then finally, the wig. She knew what was happening but that did not make her understand the situation any more.
"Why am I-" Mukuro started but was abruptly cut off.
Junko spoke in a proud grandiose voice. "So stunning? Beautiful? Drop-dead Gorgeous?" Then her accent entirely changed again. "Well that's because yar me, ya dope!"
"I don't think I follow." She was still lost with everything.
"Ahhh, it was so boring. He was so boring. Everything was boring. I got bored too fast. I want to do something else now." She sighed lifelessly and every syllable she spoke was dragging as if it took too much energy to speak. "And it's not like I wanted to go to such a boring date in the first place. Bo-ring."
"Then why did you agree in the first place?" She asked.
"CARPE DIEM!" She crossed her arms and hollered. Then proceeded to speak as fast as she could. "But like, I changed my mind so now YOU get to go on a wonderful date with your precious Naegi! Congratulations on your first date! Yay! Hurray! But you're still going as me so DON'T FUCK THIS UP! Unlike you, I have a reputation!"
She blinked as her mind was still trying to catch up to her words. "But what if he finds out?"
"Then we'll never hear the end of it. It'll spread rumors. Everyone will shame us and ruin our lives. And we won't get to share our despair with the world. How despairing in itself." She hopelessly declared, a cloud of gloom practically manifested around her. "Well, it's not like he'll even notice the switch because he's too boring."
She sighed. "Okay but why do you want me to do this now?"
She wailed and crocodile tears flowed from her eyes. "Waaah! Why do you keep asking me questions? Are you bullying me? How mean!"
"S-sorry." She stammered. She knew that there was a chance that her sister was just acting but still she apologized on the off-chance that she wasn't and that she did upset her.
Then the genius persona surfaced, completely ignoring Mukuro's apology. "You're going to have to do this a lot once we get the ball rolling with despair so we might as well pack in as much experience in you as we can." Her pitch changed until it was proudly booming. "Relax, you've already practiced for this but now you get to do it in front of a live audience!"
Junko did one last check on her. Mukuro was wearing an entirely different outfit from what her sister wore but when she asked about it, she just said she didn't want them to be matching. She guessed that she'd have to come up with an excuse herself. When everything seemed to be in the clear, nothing out of place, Junko gave her seal of approval. Satisfied with her work, she took out a bear-shaped brooch and clipped it just above Mukuro's left breast.
With a smirk, she held her hand in a peace sign. "And don't forget your good luck charm."
"Thank you..." Mukuro said lamely. She was so touched from the unexpected show of affection that she could not think of anything else to say..
Junko winked at her. "Just remember the Three D's!" She spoke animatedly and with as much gusto as ever. "Don't be yourself. Don't be a screwup. And last but not the least..." She crossed her arms and then bellowed. "DESPAIR!"
"I will." She nodded.
"Think of it as a trial run for the actual shindig." She whistled at the last word.
She gave her a small smile. "I'll do my best, sis."
Her sister waved her off with a smile that didn't seem quite right. "Good luck, Junko."
Junko and Mukuro may have walked into the bathroom but only Junko came out.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
For someone so expressionless, Mukuro did a great job at impersonating Junko.
"Thanks so much for the wait!" She jeered as she sat down across Naegi. "But that's only expected because the best things in life are worth waiting for and you can't get any better than me!"
"Oh, hey, Enoshima?" Naegi greeted back less confidently, squinting his eyes as if to double check who was in front of him. "You're wearing different clothes."
She crossed her arms and scoffed indignantly. "Well duh! What's a date without an outfit change?"
"Date?!" He blushed furiously and stammered his next line. "P-please stop calling it that! Really. You know it's not like that."
So it's not a date? Mukuro thought. Did Junko lie to me? But why? What was the point of telling her it was a date when it wasn't? And if this wasn't supposed to be a date then what was it? She didn't have the time to dwell on it now so she made a mental note to ask her later.
"And besides, you're pretty famous, Enoshima." He laughed nervously. "Won't you get into trouble if your fans find us and misunderstand?"
"Not really. I'm a model not an idol. Dating is a luxury I actually happen to have." She playfully winked at him.
And he instantly went red again. "Jeez, you're always full of energy."
"Yup! So you better keep up, Naegs!" She quipped.
They didn't stay long after that since Naegi and Junko already finished their lunch before the long bathroom break. Apparently, they had places to be at. Naegi wanted to visit a few shops and Mukuro agreed with a few underhanded jokes that she thought Junko would have said. It was going well because it seemed like Naegi had bought her disguise and hadn't said a word about it. And Mukuro would have been fine with that however, there was just one problem.
"Hm? What's with all the staring?" She said in the sweetest teasing tone she could mimic. "Could it be? You've totally fallen in love with me! Again."
"N-n-no! It's not like that!" He raised his arms partly in surprise from the comment and partly in his defense. "And what do you mean by again?"
"Ah, well you know what they say that about love at first sight, right? But I'm always sensationally lovely no matter how many times you blink so I'm sure you're falling in love with me each time." She sounded every bit like those stereotypical teenage girl with words coming out of her mouth at an astounding speed. "You're not really my type though but you are cute. And I just loooove cute things!"
He scratched his cheek as a nervous tic. "Uh, thanks, I guess? I'm not really sure I understood half of what you said."
"Sorry. That was rude of me to stare. It's just that something's been bothering me for a while."
"What's this? A confession?" She gasped in mock surprise. "I've got to hand it to ya, never took you for the carnivore type."
"Carni-what? Never mind, look I'm sorry if this sounds rude but I just need to confirm something." He sighed and he was obviously still tense. But his face showed nothing but seriousness and he wasn't dropping this anytime soon. "It's just that I have this weird feeling. Somehow… it feels like you're different."
She barely flinched at the accusation and kept a perky attitude on . "Is it the skirt? I knew I should've gone for the peach stripes!"
"No, it's not really about the clothes. It's just…" He stared at her in the eyes and she saw nothing but conviction in them. "For a moment, I kind of saw Ikusaba through you."
"..." She was found out? Was this it? Had she failed Junko already?
"But that's crazy and I'm not making any sense now. That was really out of line, sorry I-"
She held up double peace signs. "Uh that's because we're twins! Like seriously, were you absent the whole year?" She cut him off as soon as she recovered.
He slowly spoke as if to let that fact sink in first. "I guess that does make sense." She could clearly see on his face that he was actually buying that half-lie. "No, uh, sorry. Don't mind me." He smiled apologetically. "You look great."
"..." Naegi's smile caught her off guard and for a moment, she remembered that she was Mukuro and his smile was bright enough to daze her.
"Enoshima?"
And with that name, Mukuro was snapped out of her trance.
"What's with that? Accusing me and then complimenting me? Laaame! Playing hot and cold is so last season, y'know." She spoke loosely with the right amount of annoyance seeping in. And then in a softer voice, she said. "But… thanks."
From there on, no other problem surfaced and the date proceeded smoothly. Well, smoothly aside from the occasional aberrant behavior on her part. Every now and then, Mukuro would freeze for one second but thankfully, Naegi never noticed those moments. But then again, it was his fault in the first place. No matter how often he smiled, it was always distracting her each and every time. There was just something about his smiles that made her forget she was Junko.
Or was it that they made her remember that she was Mukuro?
But she wasn't Mukuro right now. She was still Junko. Naegi was going on a date with Junko. Naegi was talking with Junko. And Naegi was smiling at Junko.
Even though he's smiling at her, she knew that those smiles were for her sister.
"It's too bad that Ikusaba couldn't come with us." Naegi's voice cut through her thoughts.
"Huh? She couldn't?" Crap, she accidentally spoke that out loud.
"Yeah. I mean, that's what you said. That she wasn't feeling well enough to go out." He frowned.
That's what Junko said? Mukuro was still reeling from the flood of new information.
"We did try to get her to join us talking yesterday so I could actually ask her but she just looked away." He sighed, visibly upset. "Something must be really bothering her."
Did Junko give her that look at that time just so she could mislead Naegi? Why? So that Junko could go on a date with him? So that Junko could use the date as an opportunity to try and switch? So that Mukuro could practice acting as her? If so, then Mukuro realized that this date may have just been set up by her. But… why?
She played with her manicured fingernails as she feigned disinterest. "I wouldn't know. I'm not the killing machine with issues in our set."
"Even if you're joking, that's too mean." Naegi said more forcefully than his normal voice. He sounded upset and there was the beginnings of anger in his tone. "Enoshima, I don't really find it funny when I hear people saying bad things about my friends. Even if you two are sisters.."
She would have been flattered by his protectiveness had she been herself but she was not.
She was still Junko. "What's this? You got the hots for my sis? Is that why you wanted to go on a date with her when you could have me instead?"
"It's not like that." His eyebrows scrunched up in thought as his right hand cluctched at his hoodie, right above his chest, as if whatever he was thinking was hurting him. "It's just that lately, haven't you noticed that she's been kinda down?"
He was watching me? Mukuro pieced together another thought. Was he worried about me? Her heart started aching as soon as the idea surfaced but she gathered all of her willpower in order to push the feeling down. She had to focus. She wasn't hear to be Mukuro and to feel as Mukuro. She was here as Junko Enoshima.
"Ha? How would I know?" She shrilled. "Isn't she always dark gray clouds and looking all like someone shot her puppy or something?"
A tense lull of silence was suddenly built between them that took Mukuro off guard. In any other conversation, Naegi would have naturally replied to her but she was confused when he didn't. Did she say anything wrong? Did he see something different? Did he find out?
Then out of nowhere, his words shot out. "You've got that wrong."
And his eyes were filled with an emotion that Mukuro had never seen before. H...
He spoke fiercely and determinedly. Gone was the meek boy she knew. In his place was a man on a mission. "I know that siblings can be mean to each other but I think that you're taking it too far, Enoshima. What you said were hurtful and unnecessary. Even if she's not with us to hear that, it doesn't make it okay to still say them. Please, take back what you said about Ikusaba."
This was the first time anyone has ever defended Mukuro. On the battlefield, no one offered her protection and she never needed it. But ever since she tried to reinsert herself into society, she realized that there were enemies that no knife or bullet could kill. And everyday, people shot at her relentlessly. They called her names and she never denied them because half of those were true. They still hurt though. No matter how skilled she was at dodging bullets, she could not escape the harsh words and disgusted looks that people threw at her. No one ever bothered to protect her. Not when she was on a minefield and even now when she was in school.
But Naegi changed that. Even before this moment, even if before he tried to protect her, he did something just as amazing. He offered her a sanctuary. He was the only who smiled at her and treated her like an actual person. And though there were people who respected her, she knew they only did so in fear of what she was capable of. But Naegi wasn't afraid. He never was. It was like he was ignorant of the fact about her talent. Or perhaps he just chose to ignore it entirely. Being treated as a person was enough for her.
And now he was trying to protect her too?
Mukuro felt something in her stir. It was still a new sensation but lately it was getting familiar enough for her to recognize it. A feeling that only sprouted when she met Naegi and that grew with each encounter. A feeling that was safe and warm and in which she did not hate it all. A feeling that promised her of better things to come.
This feeling had a name and it was h...
She raised her hands in defeat. "Alright, alright! Sheesh, so uptight! Sorry, mom."
"I'll ignore that last comment. But thanks for understanding." He nodded but still warily regarded her.
"Yeah, whatever. Are we done here, yet?" She exaggeratedly waved her hand.
"I guess it has gotten pretty late." He sighed dejectedly. "And I still haven't found anything yet."
"Huh? What are we looking for by the way?" She chalked that question up to her sister's aura of airheadedness.
He bought it. "You know how I told you that I wanted to ask Ikusaba to hang out today so maybe she'd like to talk about whatever's been bothering her?"
Wait, so if Junko had let me talk to him instead then… I should have been the one on a date with him? Mukuro thought but she hastily shot down that idea. It's not a date. He said it himself. We're only hanging out. But still, the possibility haunted her. She couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if she was herself instead. Would he enjoy her company more?
Naegi's voice interrupted her line of thoughts. "Well since she couldn't come and you're with me instead, I guess I was hoping to find something for Ikusaba that would cheer her up."
He was looking something… for me? All this time, during the whole date, he was thinking of… me?
"But I don't know what she likes." He finished his rambling with a sigh.
"Anything is fine." She flatly said. She's not sure which voice she used or if that was Junko's answer or her's.
"Anything? Are you sure?" He tilted his head, skeptical of such a vague recommendation.
"Yeah. Anything will do for her." She stopped there and all at once, Junko was back. "I doubt a soldier girl has the chutzpah to be picky! She's not the one in this pair with the high fashion sense so just go with your guts or whatever."
"I see." He nodded, more to himself and it seemed like he was taking the advice to heart. "You're absolutely right. I mean, it's the thought that counts, right?"
"But yeah, you still have to get it checked through me first." She winked at him. "Quality control, ya? Like, why else am I dragged around here for?"
"Oh, right! Then I'll just pick something first and report back to you." He bowed a bit.
"I'm on a tight sched though so ya better move it."
"Then I'll be right back. Please, wait here then. I'll try not to take too long."
And with that, he went off. In truth, Mukuro had no idea what she was doing anymore. She was Junko helping Naegi get a gift for her, Mukuro. Something about this situation was backwards. She's not even sure if Junko would have offered him advice like she did right now. Did she do the right thing? She's not taking advantage of this, is she? She didn't know how to make sense of it all. Thankfully, she didn't have to brood so long because she saw Naegi heading towards her. It didn't even take him fifteen minutes before he came literally running back.
"Enoshima! Thanks ha… for the… wait, ha…" He said in between breaths. "But I found something that I'm happy with. Hopefully, that feeling will reach her too. Here, look!"
She carefully held the small item in her hands. "This is…"
He beamed, already recovered from the sprint. "A kitty hairpin!" He looked so proud of himself.
Of all the things he could have bought, he chose something so… innocent.
"But isn't it, I dunno, a little too cute?" She asked, forgetting to add an obnoxious accent to it.
He just shook his head with a goofy smile on his face. "Why not? Ikusaba can be cute too, you know. I think it'll match her quite well."
If she was Mukuro right now, she would have been flustered.
"O-M-G. Did you just call my sis cute?" She practically shrieked just like how Junko would to juicy gossip.
Color flushed on his cheeks. "I-I did! But please don't tell her I said that!" He was becoming redder with every word he said. "I wasn't lying when I said that but I just don't think I can live with the embarrassment if she knew I said that. I won't be able to face her normally anymore."
Naegi thinks that I'm cute?
Mukuro was too occupied with his confession that when she stared at the hairclip again, her thoughts came out in soft-spoken words. "Thanks."
"Huh, did you say something, Enoshima?" He tilted his head in confusion.
She quickly recovered. "Yeah, I like the clip. I was saying how my sis could like this."
"Really? I'm glad." He sighed in relief. "It's reassuring to hear you say that."
"Good 'cause I'm not doing this for free, y'know." She smirked. "You owe me now."
"Sure, that sounds fair enough. I'll try my best to repay you someday for this. Just try not to go overboard with the request." He gleefully laughed. "Thank you, Enoshima. I'm glad that you came and helped me today."
She shrugged. "Eh, it was about my sis so of course,I couldn't leave you alone unsupervised. Even I'm not that heartless."
"I think so too. You're actually a nice person when you want to be." He easily agreed with her.
She smiled devilishly. "Or am I? I could totally be a bad girl if you want me to."
He almost broke out into cold sweat. "Haha… Your humor is still something I have to get used to."
"Who said I was joking?" She playfully winked at him.
There was still some time left so they figured they'd hang around until then. They spent the last few minutes walking around with the occasional light hearted banter between them. Those minutes went by faster than Mukuro expected and she couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment at the date ending. She genuinely had fun with Naegi even if she was Junko at the moment. But the day was already over and they had to part ways. She was about to bring up to him that she needed to go but the words got stuck in her throat.
And there it was again, his brightest smile. "I really hope that Ikusaba will cheer up with this!"
Mukuro didn't say a word after. She was afraid that if she spoke, it would come from her heart and not from Junko's lips. She couldn't lie to him when he was smiling at her like that. Like he was so sincere, so honest, so hopeful. It was honestly a dangerous smile. It was so powerful that it made her feel a lot of things. It made her feel like even a person like her could hope. No, not just feel, but also believe in the idea of hope just as much as she believed in him.
Maybe there's hope for her too.
And if there's anything Mukuro would miss, she thought that it was probably this.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
OMAKE
The Ultimate Present
When Monday came and Naegi asked Mukuro to hang out with him after class, she already expected it. After all, she spent yesterday with him as Junko. Now, was she excited? Was she so excited about it that she hadn't slept at all since yesterday? She won't be admitting that anytime soon. She was aware of his agenda and it didn't take much for her to imagine what would happen next. She expected him to ask her. She expected him to hand her a gift. She expected a kitty hairpin. But not this. She did not expect this.
Naegi, flushed red in the face, was offering her a pair of white trunks with yellow stars printed on it.
"A-actually, I was going to give you something else but then Eno-" His eyes widened at his slip of tongue and then shortly coughed in an exaggerated manner. "Ahem! I mean, I heard from a reliable source that there's a special practice in Fenrir that's only done between really good friends."
What? She hasn't heard of such tradition and she was the one who was a part of that group!
"To be honest, I don't really get it. Must be a Western thing but I thought that since you kind of did grow up with Fenrir, I thought this would be important to you. I'm obviously not a member though but I thought I might as well keep up the tradition." He started scratching his head in nervousness. "So uh, what I'm trying to say is uh, well-"
He took a deep breath and steadied himself.
"Please accept my underwear as a symbol of our friendship!" Even with his face red from embarrassment, he still looked so serious about it.
What the-? What the hell was Junko thinking when she told Naegi about the fabricated tradition?
And how was she supposed to decline him when he was so earnest about it?
She couldn't. "Sure?" She hesitantly took the garment from him, still confused as ever.
"Oh, thank goodness. God, that was awkward." He let go of the breath he was holding in all this time. Then his signature smile burst forth. "But with this, our bond is sealed."
She's not really sure what just happened or if asking her sister would make any sense of it. Present aside, it's the thought that counts, right? He said something about friendship so he must have meant well in his own way. When she thought about how hard he was trying to cheer her up, it made her happy. So despite how weird the situation turned out to be, she's still grateful. At least they made it through the awkward part, right?
And just when Mukuro thought nothing else could surprise her, Naegi proved her wrong.
"I'll do my best so that one day you'll trust me enough to give me yours instead."
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
BONUS
Junko's Snoop:
Elsewhere, watching the despairingly average date.
BORING! What kind of a date was that No action at all! Nada! Nope! None! Zilch! A total bust! And to think that she already took the effort to set it up and her sister wasted it! Why did she even bother? Mukuro was always such a despairing disappointment. She should have been SHSL Disappointment! Well, it's not like she expected much from her anyways.
But Naegi...
DISGUSTING! Ugh! Bleck! She wanted to puke so hard that she'd throw up her guts. What the fuck was that? He was too positive! Brighter than a newly minted coin! A shiner! An absolutely abominable ass! The little shit was full it. Hope. Ack! How nauseating! She's going to have to wash her mouth with soap now just to forget the awful taste of the word. As if sitting through that pathetic excuse of a date was not enough, she had to stomach all that hope that practically oozed out of the boy. She didn't enjoy this at all.
However, it did give her an idea.
Why not share the despair with their classmates?
"Upupu…" A laugh escaped her lips
This was it. The ultimate plan for the ultimate despair was finally complete. Oh, how it will be so despairingly tragic! And she couldn't wait to break the exciting news to her sister.
"How was it, sis? Just enough hope for you to taste despair later. Upupupu!"
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
BEST OMAKE EVER AM I RIGHT Y/Y Regarding Naegi's underwear, it's official from the guidebook. The stars are meant to be "lucky stars" oh my god he's such a dork what a cutie goddammit he's too pure best cinnamon roll ever.
Ask and you shall receive. For fallenstreet01 who requested Makoto and Junko hanging out like on a date with Mukuro stalking. I changed the premise a bit but I hope you liked it!
To NaekusabaFanGirl: I really want to properly reply to your review but I don't want to use too many words since it affects the word count. Don't you have an account that I can pm? ffnet? Ao3? Tumblr? Anyways, thanks for the pumped up feedback! You always make me smile when I read them. I feel like a giddy school girl and loved every word of it. (negiri high five, let's pray for their survival) As for that alternate meeting au, who says I haven't already written it yet? ;)
~xoxo~xoxo~
So I just came back from a trip. Alive. Unfortunately. Sigh. At least I get to live and watch the anime when it comes out this July.
Anyways, I got some great feedback last time so as promised, here's and early update for this week! I didn't get to finish an advance chapter because of the trip but I did get to write dialogue drafts for 2 chapters so I'm still on schedule, I hope. Next chapter's already done but again, I'm not updating until you guilt trip me to post earlier.
~xoxo~xoxo~
Up next, where else can you find a soldier other than in a modern day war?
So tell me how this went for you especially since Junko's made a major appearance. And drop by a request too if this inspired you! See ya!