Fairy Tail Angst Week

Day Five (Past)

AN: I'm pretty sure Angst Week is over at this point, but… I've got four more oneshots to finish, so let's so this! This one takes place during the one year timeskip~

Title: Past

Pairings: Hinted Jerik (but only if you want to see it that way)

Character(s): Jellal Fernandes, Erik/Cobra, mentions of others

Summary: Heavy is the head that bears the crown, but heavier still are the shoulders that support the king's throne. (The agonized screams are ear-splitting, and it's almost surreal how no one else can hear them.)

A solo mission honestly seems like the best way to handle the problem. It's awkward for both of them, but Erik knows Jellal well enough to be fully aware that this conversation is one that should stay private. Jellal is the one to break the silence, surprisingly enough.

"You want to talk," he says softly. It's not a question, but Erik treats it like one anyway. He shrugs.

"Yeah," he says. "You need help." Jellal looks away, but Erik can tell that the other man isn't planning on denying anything. There's another awkward silence, and Erik quickly realizes that Jellal has no idea what else to say. "I mean… you got some issues."

"I know," Jellal agrees. "But I cannot really do anything about that. Unless you are suggesting I walk into a therapist's office and get myself arrested?" Erik snorts.

"Nothing like that," he lies back on the grass. "I was just wondering if you wanted to, uh, talk or something." He doesn't have to look to know that Jellal has raised an eyebrow. "Look, I know I ain't exactly comfort guy, but you gotta talk to someone before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." Jellal looks away.

"I appreciate the thought," he says quietly. "But Ultear already tried to–"

"Ultear?" Erik cuts him off in disbelief, sitting up. "You mean the one who caused those problems in the first place? Yeah, I wonder why talking to her didn't help!"

"She's not a bad person," Jellal says defensively. Erik rolls his eyes.

"Whatever," he grumbles. "Look, Ultear didn't have to listen to you mentally beating the shit out of yourself." Jellal shifts, looking guilty.

"Sorry," he mumbles, eyes downcast. "I hadn't realized… sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Erik snaps. "You're not the one who taught me this magic, and it ain't something I wanna get rid of. Yeah, it can be a pain, but it's helpful more often than it's a nuisance." He hesitates. "Listen, I'm just sayin'… you keepin' all this stuff bottled up ain't exactly doin' wonders for our teamwork." Jellal flinches.

"Sorry," he says again. Sorry, his mind agrees. Sorry.

"Is that the only word you know?" Erik asks irritably. "All I want is for you to go a bit easier on yourself – if not for my ears then for the increased likelihood of all of us dying on our next mission."

"Right," Jellal agrees. "Sor… Got it." Erik sighs. It's a start.

Jellal seems a bit less miserable after that, and Merudy later thanks Erik, stating that she's not sure what he did but it worked. Erik knows better. He still hears the whispers in his leader's head, still sees the dark pit of despair Jellal constantly teeters over. It's worse when Titania's around, he soon realizes. She comes by every now and then about the whole Avatar thing, with updates and the like, and Jellal's smiles become even more forced than usual. Erza Scarlet, more than any underlying mental issue, is chaining Jellal down.

"What's your deal with Titania?" he asks one day.

"She's the one who pulled me away from the darkness," he says simply.

No, Erik thinks to himself. She's the one that won't let you leave.

AN: Just real quick – Erik isn't blaming Erza for Jellal's problems. He's just acknowledging that Jellal's feelings for Erza are making him miserable (which they are). He's also realizing that Erza herself has yet to realize this. I love Erza and Jerza, y'all, this is just a story.