A Lonely Story About Nobody
Chapter 3: A Story About a Picture
Naminé didn't know how to paint the lifestream. She would use a clearer, whiter blue compared to the sky for the river itself, she would paint white swirling lines to represent the motion of the water, her favorite part. But for the lifestream itself, painting it just yellow seemed like an injustice.
How do you draw light? Naminé wondered, looking at her collection of colors. She supposed you don't, you paint how the things around it are affected by light. Her eyes trailed over the picture on her house wall. It was getting bigger, her world was expanding. But it still didn't cover half the wall, and she was too short to paint to the ceiling. It wouldn't matter anyway because she was running out of paint.
"What do you think? Do you like the outside?" she asked Riku's replica. No response.
"I think you would love school, Riku."
Suddenly he stirred, blinking his pointed eyes much to Naminé's amazement. He turned to her in expectance, Naminé's mind felt stuck, unsure of what to do. This was the first time she saw him react to… anything. So she said the first thing that popped in her head.
"Riku," she repeated.
It was like she breathed life into him, a glow of recognition spread across his body, his chest slowly filled with air as he took a breath, his eyes flickered and his mouth opened like he was going to say something. Naminé grabbed his hands and put them on her lap, staring straight into his eyes, encouraging him to speak. She felt fingers twitch.
The door slammed open, "Honey I'm home." Vanitas saw the two of them staring at each other.
"Doll, it's not nice to take advantage of the lifeless."
That spark was gone now, the replica was as empty as ever. Naminé squeezed his hand again, but he returned nothing. Even the warmth of his skin was gone. She sighed, resting her arms on her knees, considering her painting again. She looked down at her paints and ashen blond hair swayed in front her eyes.
How do you paint light?
Her eyes rose, silently criticizing every mistake she made.
How do you wake up a replica?
Vanitas stomped next to her, right on top of her paint, the neat piles squished under shoes with an unpleasant squeak.
"What am I doing here?" she asked.
"Painting," Vanitas deadpanned. She didn't mean the question like that, but she assumed Vanitas understood what she really meant anyway. She gently grabbed Vanitas' ankle and lifted it.
"You have my blue," she said running her finger against his sole, and then began to work on the sky again.
"So you're the type of girl who kisses catatonic boys and scrapes at the bottom of people's shoes, eh?"
"I wasn't kissing him. I was talking to him."
"That's even sadder."
Naminé surprised herself by giggling.
"It is. But I think I can get through to him."
"You're that lonely? Are you spurring my good company?" he asked mockingly before he started scraping the blue paint from his shoes on the painted grass. Naminé was use to him ruining the picture though, so she didn't even flinch.
"I have Sora to talk to."
Vanitas stopped. She could hear the scraping of her fingernail against wood.
"That must be as fun as watching paint dry."
Naminé liked watching her paintings dry though. As much as she enjoyed making the small individual strokes, she liked appreciating the larger picture.
"What do you and Sora even have to talk about?"
-x-
Sora scratched his head and repeated her question, "Why am I always here? What makes you think I'm always here?"
Naminé sat on the stump across from Sora, she could hear the tops of the trees rustle against the wind.
"You came to the tree grove last time too."
"Oh yeah," Sora grinned sheepishly. He bent over, staring past his shoes to the dirt, almost toppling over. "This place is sort of an urban legend for kids, you know? You're supposed to whisper a secret into a tree seed, and then plant it. And it grows and it helps you or something... I'm not really explaining it right. But it's a tradition to have your own secret tree."
"Do you have one?"
Sora looked around halfheartedly, "Yeah somewhere. Me, Riku- the boy you met before- and.. someone else, we did it together. I think everyone in this town has one. So it's my secret place, but it's sort of everyone's secret place. So I come here for, uh, how do you say it, when you want to do something but you need help doing it…"
"Inspiration?" Naminé offered.
"Yeah that's the word. I'm trying to write this letter to someone, but I'm no good at it. Everytime I try to say something I can't find the right way to say it, and instead I end up saying a whole bunch of stupid things and embarrass myself."
Weird. "You don't look like the kind of person who writes letters."
Sora made a face, "What are you trying to say?"
Naminé flushed, "I'm not trying to insult you are anything. But you seem a lot more energetic and straight forward. If you wanted to say something, I'd think you would just come out and say it to their face."
"That sounds like me," Sora laughed. It was bright and cheerful and full of life, the affection of it all pervaded the air around them, and made Naminé's stomach and face warm. In the back of Naminé's mind, she couldn't help but draw comparisons to Vanitas' laugh, which was always laced with spite and made her shiver. It was the difference between a boy who laughed with people, and a boy who laughed at people.
"So why don't you say it instead?"
"I can't. Even if I wanted to, she's gone. She died... awhile ago." Sora's voice went watery, like a reflection in the running river.
"I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry. She'd hate that." Sora patted her head, and gave her a smile that was meant to chase her worries away, then turned back to his letter. He scratched his nose with the end of his pencil in concentration.
"Did you love her?" she asked.
The paper ripped. Sora turned to her, his face glowing like there were hot coals under his skin and his eyes widened, "W-wha. I mean, huh? Look at my letter, I'm so clumsy."
She watched as he tried to smooth out his letter, only to drop the pen, continuing to ramble and avoid Naminé's question and her eyes. She saw the flustered Sora and she knew what his secret was.
She felt her smile fade just a little.
-x-
"Welcome home, doll," Vanitas was lying on the floor with his hands under his head.
"Ah. You're here too."
"Don't sound so excited. I'm the most interesting person you know."
Naminé walked past Vanitas to the silver haired boy leaning on the wall for support, "Look Riku, it's candy."
The replica stirred at his name, and she took out a round piece of toffee and placed it in his mouth. At first she was scared he would blank out again, but instead he moved it around his mouth experimentally.
"It's salt water toffee," she said, eyes shining like she was telling a secret, "you can move it around your tongue and it almost like it's a different taste."
Riku's expression changed ever so slightly.
"Do you like it?"
He still hadn't said anything yet, but she felt she was almost there.
"Still trying? You know, they say the definition of insanity is to repeat something over and over and expect different results," Vanitas said before getting up and plopping down next to her. He put his finger to her head and pushed it. "You're losing it."
"I'm not doing the same thing. I gave him candy this time."
Vanitas pressed harder, making her wince at the pressure, "Nah, it's definitely the same thing. You can dress a puppet in all the different clothes you want, but it's never going to be a real boy."
"You've never tried."
He was grabbing the side of her head now, pushing it farther to the side. "I don't waste candy on something that doesn't even need to eat."
"Waste? Does that mean you want one?" she asked offering the bag to him.
He laughed at her.
"I'll have to pass. Don't even have a mouth, you know."
She was going to tip over by now, much to Vanitas' amusement.
"Does this hurt?"
"Of course it does," Naminé said as the palm of his hand squished her cheeks to her lips.
"Then you know you could move from this spot," he said pushing again, his hand imprinting on her pale cheeks.
Or…
Naminé turned her face quickly away, the pressure on her face slipped and with nothing to push back, Vanitas tumbled between her and the replica.
"I was here first," she simply said, looking down at his sprawled form.
Vanitas rolled on his back, laughing.
"Your spine grows stronger everyday," he told her. "Makes me want to crush it even more."
Naminé popped a smooth pink orb in her mouth and tasted strawberries. She wondered if they even had bones to begin with.
-x-
Sora was still trying to write his letter, but not a single word was written, just more blobs of ink from prolonged indecisive contact with a bleeding pen.
A shadow flickered again, from next to the shade of the trees. It didn't move to the rhythm of the wind, as if it were free. But each time Naminé tried to get a better look, it disappeared like water through her fingertips.
Sora was looking that way too, his eyes squinted in frustration. He ran a hand through his brown spikes in a defeated fashion and groaned.
"Ugh this is the worst." He rolled onto his back, his hands touched the ground by his head, and he launched himself in an arc, straight to his feet. "I need to take a walk or something. Let's go Naminé."
"What's her name, the girl you are writing too?" Naminé asked as she walked behind Sora by the bank of the river. She could hear the rush of the water as is glided through the earth, but even more overpowering was the sound of the lifestream. It was like a deep rumbling from inside the world, slowly shifting the earth around it.
It was soothing.
She had almost forgotten she asked a question until Sora stopped suddenly and she accidentally ran into his back.
"Kairi."
The stifled rolling of the lifestream grew louder and Naminé's head swam. Kairi, Kairi. She thought she was Kairi once; something nauseous made her way through her body, pumping through it as sure as blood through veins.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Kairi is a beautiful name, she must have been a beautiful person."
Sora sputtered, "Uh, she was great. Yeah. Man you would have loved her. I mean, really liked her. Not love."
Sora began to fidget, and Naminé pushed down a feeling she didn't find pleasant.
"What was she like?"
Sora's face went gentle, he turned around to face her and began to walk backwards, "Kairi lived a mile a minute. She played every sport even though she kind of sucked at it. Tried every musical instrument but she couldn't hold a beat. She ate every single kind of food that she could, even ones that looked totally gross. And if she failed she laughed even harder."
Naminé tried to picture Kairi in her head, but in all honestly, she sounded like a girl version of Sora.
Sora laughed bashfully at that, "No. She was different. She liked to think that everything had meaning, I sort of just barreled on through. At the end of the day she would sit and think about what happened, and then tell us what she got out of it. I'm surprised she even had a secret to whisper in the tree grove, she told us everything."
"Us?"
"Me and Riku. The three of us were always together. You know like and arm and a leg… and a 'nother arm I guess," something sad flashed on his face, "But after she was gone it all fell apart. I couldn't stop us from changing and now there's nothing left."
The river stopped at a dam, the flowing stilled and it pooled listlessly around the structure. Naminé could see the buildup of the lifestream, glowing so intensely under the surface she was afraid it would explode over, drowning the town. What would even happen if liquidized life flooded them?
"Naminé, do you believe in ghosts?" Sora whispered.
"Why do you ask?" Naminé watched as the lifestream's light reflected on Sora's skin, it made him look like he was glowing unnaturally brilliant.
"Sometimes I think I see Kairi. It's not her, it's a bit different, like she isn't really there," then he hastily added, "I know she isn't there because she's dead." He croaked at the word dead.
Naminé looked at the mass of pure energy smoldering next to her, "I think when someone dies, they die. Their soul turns into something else and they can't come back."
"What makes you think that?"
"Vanitas said it to me once," then she realized how silly she must have sounded for taking Vanitas's word at anything.
An uncharacteristic scowl spread against his face, "Vanitas. I have no idea what he's thinking. Honestly, I'm kind of scared of him."
"You shouldn't be, it gives him more influence if you are. He lies all the time, but I don't think he was lying then."
"Oh," Sora's eyes turned tired, "I guess I'm just crazy then."
Naminé spied the shadow again, edging towards them, then dashing away as soon as it caught her eye. Sora was looking in that direction too.
"I don't think you are seeing things though," Naminé said.
"Well, if she's not a ghost but I'm still seeing her, what can it be then?" he asked.
Good question. She wondered the same thing about herself.
-x-
Riku's replica was becoming more responsive, but only sporadically. He wouldn't do things on his own, but sometimes he would follow her around. She hadn't realized how tall he was; the replica and Riku himself probably, was towering at his full height.
It made his already intimidating features even more impressive, and it was probably funny to see this large, broad shouldered boy trail after a scrawny, frail looking girl. Vanitas seemed amused enough. She had hoped he would be impressed by the progress the replica made, but it just made him look down on him more.
Riku Replica wouldn't come out with her to the outside, but he'd wait by the door.
"Like a retarded puppy," he said once laughing unkindly, then he stuck out a leg and tripped him. The tall boy fell heavily, landing painfully solid on the floor. Vanitas continued laughing all the way out of the door.
She picked up the replica from underneath the arms as best she could, but he was heavy. The fall must have reset his mind, because he had the dull expression on his face again.
"You know Riku, he always tries to scare us, but when he does that it's more like he acts like a little kid," she mumbled and she wiped away the dirt from his face. She smoothed out his silver hair, patting gently on top of his head like Sora did to her, she liked the way it made her feel. Like even if she was young and small, someone was looking out for her, the kind of feeling when someone left a light on for them in the dark.
She continued to paint for the rest of the evening, occasionally checking up on the replica, but he was still staring emptily in front of him. Naminé tried talking to him, holding his hand, saying his name, but today she couldn't get him to respond. She hoped that he hadn't slipped down a hole in his mind so deep he couldn't get out.
She took out a piece of toffee and offered it to his thin lips. "Your favorite."
Not even a twitch, his face was static. Naminé's face fell and she reluctantly popped it in her mouth, the sweet and salt settling in her senses.
"You broke Riku," she told Vanitas, not bothering to look at him as she heard his footsteps. They were light, almost as if he had been skipping. Naminé thought that was odd, she lolled the hard candy to the other side of her mouth.
"Oh no, I broke the damaged goods."
Naminé frowned and turned to him, "He was almo-"
What was she going to say? The words melted from her as she gaped at Vanitas. Even if night began to blanket around her, she could see bright yellow gleaming from his face.
"You like it?" he said stepping closer, the cold churned in his eyes. Vanitas left faceless only to come back with a face, and he used it to give her a twisted smile, "I got a makeover."
She said nothing as she drank in the odd sight, and she realized it wasn't just any face, he had Sora's face. The same boyish shape, still soft with baby fat, large round eyes and a small nose. The only difference is his eyes were amber and the brown hair was so black it melted in with the night.
"You can't keep your eyes off of me, I think you like it," he was inches from her face, still smirking. "Now I think you were going to give me something…"
His lips quickly covered hers, still agape in shock. Her eyes were still open as he moved his mouth over hers, her blue tracing the contours of what should have been Sora's face, the closeness allowed her to see the freckles of his nose and the pores in the skin of the young teen. It was all his.
When Vanitas pulled back, he had her toffee in his mouth. He grinned like a cat, eyes dancing with malicious mirth. Then his (Sora's) face grimaced in disgust, and he spat the candy out on the dusty floor.
"Ugh. I hate sweets."
A/N: I find it very hard to balance Vanitas, like is he suppose to be sociopath, malicious, or something akin to a schoolyard bully. I guess that's what Namine is trying to figure out too.
Thanks for all the reviews!:
Madhatta51 Oh ty. Watching Vanitas and Namine figure each other out is fun to write. Vanitas is one of those characters, he'd be interesting no matter who you had him playing off as, but it's especially fun with Namine because I'm biased with her. Ha.
The story between Riku, Sora, and Kairi is definitely important to Vanitas and Namine (and Repliku) along with the lifestream. The whole metaphysics/rules of this story is admittedly really wacky and not that sensible, but if there is one series I feel like weird metaphics would work, it's Kingdom Hearts. And yes, very sneaky Vanitas.
AnonGuest: Ty for the review. Vanitas and Namine are in fact, awesomely fun. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.