Chpater oen prouloge (Excuse me… Chapter one OR Prologue. Not both.)
The cats gathered around a pool. (The cats= Maffia. The Pool= the blood of their enemies. WHAT IS IT?) They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. (Darkstripe! Nice to see you again!) A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright. (Briardust woke up. She was confused. She was bored.)
"There is a prophecy!" She said. (Okay, if you say so…) "out of the darkness (womb), stars (Starstar makes two!) will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." (That… that was a difficult one.)
"Its about StarKit!" (Why!) A white tom said. (Whitestorm-who-shallnot-be-named!) "Shes going to save the forest," He looked at a gold tom by BlueStar.
(Lionheart-or-Lionblaze-who-shallnot-be-named!) "she has powers nobody dreamed of." (This is NOT Lionblaze.) Said the gold tom. "Should we tell JayFeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said BlueStar. "he needs to know." (Because he is the father or the medicine cat? Or maybe that he should be concerned that his daughter might fall in love with his grandfather?!)
She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy.
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Please review and recuperate enough to make your eyes stop bleeding!
Briardust
P.S. Oh, and please review! AGAIN!