Elrohir

After my run in with my brother I do not want to return to the others and their celebrations. Instead I return to my room to lick my wounds and brood upon my stinging cheek. I am surprised to find Legolas already there.

He sits upon the rail of my balcony in a way that makes me nervous, so precarious is he, draped right on the edge, legs dangling. But I resist the urge to cry out in alarm. He is quite safe, I know, no matter how dangerous it looks to me.

He turns towards me as I enter and his eyes widen in surprise.

"What has happened?" He leaps from his perch and crossesthe floor to stand in front of me, reaching out then to brush his fingers gently across my rapidly forming bruise.

I smile at him despite the tumouluous emotions churning through me. He will worry about this and I do not want that.

"Elladan was not that pleased to see me."

He deflates before my eyes.

"This is my fault," he murmurs.

"No!" I catch his hands in mine, "It is not your fault, what the two of us do. We have fought before and we will fight again and it is nothing to do with you."

"It is everything to do with me. Why did he hit you? Tell me you did not lose your temper with him."

It hurts that he immediately thinks that is what I have done but he has so recently been on the receiving end of my loss of control I suppose I cannot blame him.

"No, I felt his sealonging... It is a raging, terrible thing Legolas and I tried to take it. But he hid it from me and he calls it a violation."

He is horrified.

"You cannot take it! It will destroy you."

"That is what he said, anyway," I wave my

hand dismissively, "You can see just how successful I was."

I can see the worry, guilt and anguish edging their way across his face and I do not wish our last night together to be spent like this so I attempt to distract him.

"Let us not speak of this," I say gently. "You must trust that Glorfindel and I will watch over Elladan." I remember then his distraction at dinner and that I had vowed to speak with him about it. Now that I look carefully at him he is obviously tense, the lightness that had returned to him these last few days seems to have disappeared.

"How are you?" I reach out to gently stroke his hair, "You did not seem yourself at dinner."

To my surprise he almost flinches from my touch and spins on his heels, walking back to his place by the balcony. He leans out, gazing over the gardens, the moonlight strikes his face, making him glow, he is so beautiful it takes my breath away.

"I am alright." he says, but he does not look at me when he says it.

"Is it Estel who worries you? This trip will go well, I am sure of it. The two of you will be closer at the end of it."

I move behind him and encircle him with my arms. If there is anyway I can ease his mind I will try to. At first he tenses at my touch, as if he would pull away and that surprises me, but then he relaxes back against me. Perhaps he tries to distance himself in anticipation of our separation?

"I will come to see you in Ithilien as soon as I can." I hope it is enough to reassure.

We stand there in silence, the only sound the softness of his breath and then he speaks.

"Do you love me?"

I am taken aback and confused by that question, so out of the blue as it is, and I hesitate. Why does he ask me this? Have I not already told him this over and over these last few days?

"Of course," I say when I regain my composure, "You know that. Have I not shown you? Why do you doubt me?"

He pulls himself out of my embrace then and turns to look at me.

"Why did you hesitate?"

"Because I was not expecting you to ask me that. We have covered this, I would have sailed with you...I still will if you need to! I don't understand."

"Forget I said it then." he walks away, back in to my room and throws himself on the bed.

"You are probably right, I am just anxious about how things will go with Aragorn."

This is easier ground and so although a part of me knows I should probably pursue this sudden lack of faith in our love, I do not. It must be just nerves. He knows the depth of my love for him. Instead of prodding for more information I lie on the bed beside him, picking up one of his braids and twisting it idly through my fingers, his hair is so soft.

"Tell me about your life before I met you." he says suddenly, jolting me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I raise myself up on my elbows to stare at him.

"Why do you ask that?"

"I want to know." I see a challenge in his eyes, as if he is daring me to tell him something, but what?

"You know about my life, I have already told you... everybody knows about it."

His eyes slide off my face as he looks away,

"So you won't speak of it then."

And I am left feeling I have somehow disappointed him.

"Of course I will, I have no secrets, what do you want to know exactly? Ask me and I will tell you."

"Did you love anyone before me?"

This is a very strange question, and I wonder why he asks it, why are we back, once again, talking about our love?

Still it is also amusing and so I laugh.

"You know what a ridiculous suggestion that is!" I splutter, trying to compose myself,

"Can you not remember what I was like? I was a mess, my father despaired of me, I moved from one lover to the next with abandon!"

"I remember.." He says softly but there is no amusement in his voice,

"Still amongst them all were there none you loved?"

"Not love such as I love you! The moment I met you I was ensnared, you know this."

He pauses and I can tell he hesitates to say something. He is debating if he should and he obviously decides to.

"Do you still see any of them then?"

"Around here, yes, they have mostly moved on, as I have, but it is hard to avoid them. As you would find it difficult in the Greenwood I imagine. Anyway why would I not see them?"

He is chewing his lip and that is not a good sign.

"Legolas, why are we even discussing this?"

He rolls away from me then, He seems upset but for the life of me I cannot understand what it is he would be upset about. I am missing something here, something that just slides out of my reach when I approach it, and as I reach out to him this time there is no mistaking the fact he pulls himself away from me.

"I am tired," he says rising to his feet, "I think I will go to my own bed tonight, for tomorrow I travel and I need sleep."

Now he definately avoids me and I will not have it.

"No!" I grab his hand and hold it firm, "We are about to be parted, I would have you here with me tonight...I need you here. I will let you sleep if that is really what you wish but sleep here, with me," I wait for his agreement and when it does not come, I beg,

"Please..."

His eyes are so sad it hurts my heart to look at him. What is going on here?

"Legolas, have I done something wrong? If I have, please tell me so I can mend it."

I watch as he slowly lets out a shuddering breath.

"I don't know what is wrong with me," he says in the end, "I don't know why these doubts suddenly plague me."

"You need have no doubts over me." I say cupping his face in my hand.

"This must be just nerves and tension, that is all. Stay here and sleep with me so I can ease them. It will be alright Legolas. I promise. Gimli will be with you."

I am certain now this is all about his journey and his worry that his friendship with Aragorn will not be able to be repaired.

"I feel...odd." he says and sits back down on the bed with a thud.

A frisson of fear runs through me. I remember him collapsing before me just days ago. Aragorn put that down to stress but what if it was more than that?

"Are you well?" I am suddenly filled with anxiety, "Shall I call the others?"

He shakes his head,

"I am well, it is just...my mind feels odd."

He rubs his forehead with his hand and I realise he looks terribly tired.

"You are overthinking things Legolas, here..." I join him on the bed once again, leaning back on the pillows, and pulling him to rest against me.

"Let me help you relax," I say and I begin to massage the knots and tension from his shoulders. I can feel his muscles twist beneath my fingers, they are so tight, there is so much worry here.

"You are good at this," he says and I can feel him relax as he speaks, it is good to know I help him,

"Of course, you know I am!" I whisper in his ear, and it is gratifying to see him smile.

I continue my ministrations and slowly, gently, the tension flows from him, he says something then, so softly I have to bend my ear near to hear him,

"Perhaps it was not real," he murmers, "Glorfindel did not see it."

"What did Glorfindel not see?" I ask for I am curious and I realise too late when he jerks at the sound of my voice, that he was half asleep.

"What?" his voice is thick with the beginnings of sleep and confusion.

"Nothing..." I say, "Go back to sleep," for it was obviously the beginnings of a dream, and nestled up against me, he does.

He awakes with the first light of dawn and what a transformation. He is light, and joy, love and mischief. The Legolas I first knew all those years ago, long before the quest. The young Legolas who entered my life and swept me off my feet. All traces of his anxiety and worry seem to have vanished overnight and I am glad. I want to be able to see him off on his journey like this, not the pale ghost of himself he was last night.

"I love you." he whispers as we say farewell, "You will follow quickly?"

"I will have Elladan in Minas Tirith for you as soon as I can," I say with a smile for his joy is contagious today. "before he knows what hit him. Do not worry, he is precious to me, I will keep him safe from the sealonging."

"It was you who did not know what hit him." he grins brushing his fingers across the mark on my face, and we laugh at that together. When he is like this his laughter makes me feel light enough to fly. I am bursting with love for him.

And so I watch him go, on his way with his friends and he turns back to watch me before they all turn the corner and disappear. His face is light, and his eyes are full of love,

He is happy.

Last night was a blip, an aberration, and so I put it out of my head for I will not dwell on his sadness.

All is well and life is good.

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