SG-1 is squaring off with the natives.
There is a small crowd of angry and battered Igraians circling a pissed off Jack, an earnest Sam and an impassive Teal'c. The three of them are free and armed – proof that whatever Jack's done, it's worked, as usual – and trying to get themselves heard over the accusing shouting of the natives… without much success.
Daniel doesn't even know why he's surprised, it's a common enough situation.
Then he registers what his friends are yelling: "Where is Daniel? What have you done with him?"
"Oh, God," Daniel breathes, horrified by his own selfishness.
Shame-faced, he runs in the middle of the tense situation without a care for his own safety, crying: "I'm here! It's ok, I'm fine, they didn't do anything!"
When everybody (and he does mean everybody, even the children peeking out of curtained doorsteps) turns to stare at him in silent shock, he slows down, hems and hums a little and points weakly to River: "Er, this is, hum, Doctor Song..." he trails off sheepishly.
Jack stares at him incredulously, his expression turning thunderous for a long moment – Daniel's heart sinks – but then he snorts, calms down, ends up guffawing. Daniel pretends not to hear the muttered comment about a girl on every planet and smiles weakly at Sam, who's shaking her head and not hiding her obvious relief at finding him in one piece.
"Where did you find her, anyway? She doesn't look local," says Jack with the careless attitude he throws at the world every day and the very sharp gaze that betrays his intelligence anyway.
River's openly checking him out, a tauntingly knowing look in her eyes, and Daniel fells a smidgen of disappointment, which embarrasses him a little bit.
"Uh, she's an archaeologist," he replies to his friend.
"What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?"
Daniel blinks. "Uh, I do," he points out hesitantly, half-raising his hand.
Jack closes his eyes briefly. "Bad example."
There is a very short, uncomfortable silence before Daniel adds as an afterthought: "She's from the future."
"What?!" Sam's eyes are wide and her voice almost squeaks.
"Err… she has a time machine. I think."
River interjects brazenly: "Technically, my husband does, I just steal it now and then. It's not like he'll ever notice."
Jack's expression is growing thunderous again, but he injects a whiny note in his voice as he grumbles loudly: "What is with you people? Time machines are nothin' but trouble."
"And what's wrong with trouble?" River asks, sultry.
The Igraians choose this moment to get over their confusion and make their outrage known.
There is some yelling back and forth, but Sam and Daniel have some experience with calming down enraged aliens who blame SG-1 for this or that disaster. And the archaeologist gains a lot of points when he produces the quairwax and babbles about regaining the Soil's blessing. It seems to calm most of the Igraians down.
When tensions lower, Teal'c pulls out a formal sentence from who knows where: "It is our hope, we will be able to repair any mistrust that may have developed between us so that we can pursue a long-lasting friendship between our people far into the future."
They like it.
Some are even smiling.
"Heard that somewhere?" teases River.
"Yes," Teal'c deadpans.
The locals turn to healing and fixing for a while, so the five visitors have some time to catch up while they help as they can.
Jack rolls his eyes at Daniel's mournful recounting of the Caves' destruction ("Trust you to find interesting rocks to play with in the back of nowhere," he sighs in amusement) and – predictably – protests vociferously against taking part in any weird alien ritual. Even a tame one without sacrifices or other bullshit.
Daniel lets him whine, he knows his friend well, and when he falls silent, simply looks at him pointedly.
Jack curses but capitulates.
"Fine, fine, I'll do it!..."
But he won't make it easy on them – every detail is mocked, disparaged or argued against… or all three at once.
"Tell me again why this is necessary?" he grumbles.
"You have to abase yourself to regain the connection with the Soil you've so carelessly thrown away." River's look is challenging and just this side of insufferably smug.
Jack curses in five languages. Two of which non-Earth based. Fluently. Daniel feels a bit like a proud parent and then chastises himself for it.
"I understand time is short," interjects Sam pointedly.
"Actually, it's all relative, dear," says River carelessly, shaking out her unruly curls.
Jack perks up: "Oh, I know that one! Carter, you know it too." He turns to River and points to Sam: "She could explain better if we had more time."
"But we don't," stresses Sam. The implied so shut up, sir loud and clear.
Daniel trades a long-suffering glance with Teal'c.
"Can't I just…?" tries Jack.
"No!" exclaims River, sounding completely fed up. "You'll do this ritual they want you to do and you'll do it the way they want you to do it! Unless you want to engage in all out war with this people?" she asks in a sweetly challenging tone, glaring at them all.
Sam's eyes widen in indignant surprise: "Of course not! We're not… we're peaceful explorers! We don't want to harm anybody."
"Unless otherwise provoked," interjects their ever-so-diplomatic leader.
"Jack!" hisses Daniel. Why is he working for the military again?
"I'm fairly sure you're the one who's been doing all the provoking," says River tartly. "Why are you even being so stubborn? It is a simple matter of respecting a different culture!" she rants peevishly. "If you could bother with being a little open-minded..."
"Hey! I can be as diplomatic and open-minded as anyone!" protests Jack.
Everybody looks away and coughs embarrassedly.
Jack opens and closes his mouth a couple times, irritation warring with rueful amusement.
Despite their fears, Jack isn't the type to back out of doing his part and the ritual, to Daniel's open relief, goes off without a hitch. It is actually quite fascinating and Daniel itches to dissect the symbolism of it but Jack's patience has been sufficiently tested today, he feels. Best to leave him be.
After that, everything goes better.
The Igraians' seem convinced that the earthquake was a result of Jack's breaking the taboo, and now that he's finally made amends by their standards, the last of their hostility is smoothed away.
Perhaps they have a chance to salvage the potential trade relationship, even.
"Well, this is where we part ways," announces River.
Jack frowns: "Dr. Song..."
"River. Please," she interrupts him, catlike and seductive.
Unimpressed, Jack says curtly: "I would feel much better if you could answer a few questions about your presence here. You know how it is."
He gives her a very fake good-ol'-boy smile and she shrugs her abundant curls indifferently: "I'm sure you would."
"Perhaps we could interest you in a tour of SGC?" offers Sam, as a way to get her in an environment where they might have more control. Somehow, Daniel doesn't think it would work, but hey. It's not like she needs his help.
"Oh, I would love to, darlings, but I simply don't have the time," River says airily. "So much to do – buildings to document, natives to interview… I am here to study this old civilization, after all, it wouldn't do to return to the Department empty-handed – I'm sure you understand."
Jack is eye-balling her. "Study? That's your tale? ...You really asking us to buy this?"
"I'm an archaeologist," she points out. "Why else would I be here?"
"Thought you were a time-traveler."
"That, too."
"If you're a time traveller, shouldn't you point and laugh at archaeologists?"
She glares at him with more heat than he deserves.
"You're far more annoying than last time I met you. And far less charming." She ostentatiously checks him out again. "Also thinner."
Jack frowns, eyes sharp and remote: "I've never met you."
"Yeah, well, not yet."
He clenches his jaw, not at all happy with the implication. "All right, Dr. Hell-in-heels. I'll bite. What happened? Or… will happen?" He frowns. "Man, I hate time-travel. Nothin' but trouble." He waits. "Well?"
She raises an eyebrow, pretending to be engrossed in her gun before slipping it back in its holster.
"What happened?" Jack insists with exaggerated patience.
She smiles flirtatiously: "It's a good story, Colonel. Can't be told, has to be lived."
"Do you practice being vague?"
"Oh, no, darling. It's all natural talent," she replies with a seductive glance.
Jack smirks, still annoyed, but also honestly amused.
"She's married," points out Daniel in an aside. At his friend's reproachful look, he raises a hand: "Just saying."
Jack glowers, then turns to continue his questioning.
But Dr. River Song is no longer there.