Chapter 13 Purple Rain

Sarah peeled the wax seal back. The letter shook, opening. Professor Snape's voice boomed through the room:

"Dora,

I'm lonely. Do you miss me? Or have you found a new love? Has another man taken my place already?

My love, I can see you rolling your eyes.(Snape chuckled) Stop it. I am only joking.

I miss you. I miss you even when you are laying next to me. I miss you the most, when you are asleep. Want to hear something funny? (He laughed) I am jealous of your dreams. They steal you away from me. I can't reach you in there, I've tried.

Why do you block me from your dreams? Is it because you do not dream of me? I wouldn't be too hurt if you didn't... That's a lie. It would kill me. I want to be your everything Dora. You are mine. My everything.

You look so peaceful and happy. Do I make you happy too? Do you find that comfort in me? You are my life. The moment I realized I was in love with you was like my first breathe of air. The moment I told you, was the moment my life began. I want you to remember me that way. You gave me life.

Please don't cry. I can hear you. It hurts so much not being able to kiss your tears away. I love you Nymphadora Tonks. I love you so much. I love you...

Do you remember our first encounter? You were such a clumsy twit (he chuckled again). Remember the explosion your third year? I should have known then that you would ruin me. Just like you did to my robes. I had to throw it and half my supplies out. I never did get those stains out of the floor. You have no idea how many charms I tried.

Dora, can I tell you a secret? Heaven is an illusion. How could it be heaven, if we aren't together? Perhaps I'm in hell. The life I lived before you..(he sighed) I never deserved you. Even now, I can remember you telling me how selfish and cruel I was. Your words were like knives. Did you know how deep you cut me?

(He voice became serious)

Nymphadora, I want to say a few words. Will you listen? I know your shaking your head, but give an old man, his last request. Please hear me, Dora.

(Severus sniffled) I love you. I don't know how many times I've said those words to you. Hundreds? Thousands of times? Do you believe me? I've see the doubt in your eyes. I've always seen it. Perhaps, it was because, you doubted a man like me could know what love is.

My beautiful wife, I love you. Only you. Always you. If you believe nothing else, believe that. I love you. I love you.

Cry if you must, but please find happiness again. Move on with your life. Find a new love. Build a new life. My Dora, don't linger on what fate has decided.

I will wait for you on the other side. Perhaps the Gods will be merciful and let me have you in the afterlife. I love you Nymphadora Tonks. I love you."

Sarah sobbed openly as the letter refolded and sealed itself. This was the kind of love fairytales were written about. It was the kind of love dreams were made of.

Sarah retreated to her room. She waved her wand; vanishing all her notes. Her new found perspective on her former Professor made every moment before now, obsolete.

Memories of her Potions Professor invaded her. Had she been too quick to judge him?

It was five years after the war, when she took her first steps into Hogwarts. She was a mere child of 11. Her first encounter with him was awkward and unpleasant. He scolded her for being late. She had gotten lost in the huge castle.

She hated him. He was cruel and unjust. He was always smirking or yelling. It was like he didn't know any other expressions. She wondered why he had returned to teaching? He obliviously hated it.

She smiled, remembering the first time she met the infamous Nymphadora Tonks. Sarah grew up hearing the stories of her heroism. She dreamed of being just like her.

Tonks strolled into the classroom. Professor Snape was in the middle of a tyrant. He was yelling at a Ravenclaw for adding the wrong ingredient to his cauldron. It turned dark green and was threatening to bubble over. Tonks coolly waved her hand, smirking. The cauldron emptied, the potion vanished.

Severus glared at her. "Nymphadora!"

"Accidents happen, Professor," she replied nonchalantly, returning his stare.

The room became deadly quiet. Neither backed down. They seemed to be having a conversation, though no words were spoken. Tonks stood tall against the widely feared Professor.

Finally, Snape flinched, his eyes softening for just a second. "Fine."

Sarah had never seen anyone challenge Professor Snape before. She had never seen him concede to anyone. She awed at the power Tonks had over him. Only now, she realized, it wasn't power. It was love. He loved her. He truly loved her.

Sarah wiped her eyes and picked up her pen. Professor Snape deserved better than a charm quill. She only had one day left in Spinner End. And now, she finally understood why it meant so much to Tonks. That kind of love was rare. Would Sarah ever know it? Could any man ever feel that way about her? Her body shook as the tears begin to flow again; probably not.

*****The original title of this story was Purple Rain...but after much consideration, I changed it. I felt it to be an unfair representation of what I trying to achieve. I hope that this story isn't as emo, as I was, writing it...

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow,

I never meant to cause you any pain.

I only wanted one time to see you laughing.

I only want to see you laughing in the Purple Rain."