Wrote this in less then thirty minutes. Take of that what you well but meh. Enjoy!

RON's P.O.V

I sat on the bench in the kitchen with Carl, who was finishing his bowl of cereal and cleaning the bench across the room. Mikey had said he had 'work' to do and Enid was going to check on Maggie leaving Carl and I with Judith sleeping upstairs. I was munching on an apple, silently watching Carl as he reached up to place the cereal back where he had got it making his shirt raise up a little. My gaze drops to that tiny piece of exposed skin on his hip and I remembered holding onto there early when we were kissing. I look away in attempt to forget the thoughts.

Carl didn't seem to notice because when he turned around he did nothing more than give me a smile. I try to fight the grin making it's way onto my face. Taking the last bite of my apple I toss the core in the direction of the food bin only missing by a an inch or two inch. Carl muffles his laugh while he moves over to grab the core and places it inside the bin himself. I poke my tongue out at him while he isn't looking only to get caught when he turns back around.

"You are such a child." Carl jokes.

"I'm pretty sure I'm older than you." I point out.

Carl does nothing but grin again before moving to stand between my legs. Automatically I wrap my legs and hook my ankles together around the back of his thighs. Carl's arms move to go waist using the movement to bringing me closer to him. I give him a smile. This one is real which was rare now a days. Not that Carl knew that, nor did he have to know... Ever. It was true Carl made me better, calmer but sometimes there was no making the pain in my chest any easier to deal with.

Even with Carl around the pain still sat there, all the time. Carl just numb bits and pieces every once and a while. Sometimes I wondered if he knew that and that why he was like this with me. Did he only care like this because he thoughts something bad would happen if he didn't? At the thought Carl finding me in the bathroom flashed through my mind. I remember hearing Carl's voice every word he said but I couldn't responded. I tried, I really did but I couldn't make the words come out of my mouth.

"Ron?" Carl voice cut through my thoughts. "You okay?"

I force a smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

I lean forward through the few inches that separated us and press my lips to his. It was a quick his but it still made me calm enough to have a real smile separate onto my lips while i leaned far enough away so our nose knocked against each other.

"But I could be better." I add so I wasn't lying to him.

I hated when I lied to Carl. I had lied a total of ten times and each time it made me sick to my stomach. It was the same feeling I got whenever he left Alexandria. Carl leaned in again to press his lip against mine one more time, this time he kissed me harder like he had earlier. I move my hands up to tangle my fingers in his hair accidentally knock his hat off of his head. We both pull back to glance down at the hat on the ground.

Carl starts to laugh at my expression when he looks at me. He leans to rest his head on my shoulder. I keep my fingers in his hair and mimic the way he runs his finger through my hair while I'm tired. I use to hate the way Enid did it, her nail always felt like they were cutting into my scalp making me cringe. Carl moves his head against my shoulder making the bandage on his eyes move against my neck. I tense as the thought of shooting Carl crossed across my mind again. I can't believe I did that.

I didn't mean to, I swear. I was trying to shoot myself why didn't he just let me? He would have been fine if had just- My hand had stopped moving in Carl's hair as my thoughts begin to race so fast I can barely grasp a single one of them expect the image of Carl when I first hear the sound of gun go off. Carl notices and pulls back to look at me with a worried expression. Carl place his hand on my cheek to turn my head and force me to look in his direction.

"Hey, I lost you." He says quietly. "Come back."

I blink. "I'll be fine."

Carl eyes run over my face. "Dance with me."

My thoughts come to holt while I turn to Carl with wide eyes. Confusion sets in while Carl pull back from me and tugs me off of the counter. I hadn't found the words to respond yet so Carl just grabs my hand in his. Our fingers lace together while I'm being pulled into the lounge room. I try to stutter out a question but Carl lets go of my hand just as quick as he had grabbed it. I watch in silence when he moves to the side of the room over to the c.d player. No more than ten c.d's where placed beside it but Carl seemed set on finding a certain one.

He picks one out without me seeing the cover only to place it in and pressing play. He quickly adjust the sound so we don't wake up Judith above us. It takes a second to play and in that second Carl had hastily moved the coffee table over by the fire place. Just as Carl moves to stand in front of me with an over bearing toothy grin, the music plays. Boom Boom Pow.

"How in the hell-"

Carl pulled my hands making me stumble after him into the middle of the room. Carl dancing was jumping while holding onto my hands and moving them around with his. I suppressed a laugh watching his movements. Carl grin seemed to grow while I laughed at him. Carl encourage me to dance along and after a lot of hesitation I followed his movements of looking like a fool, making sure to keep hold of his hands.

With my dancing companied with Carl's neither of us could stop laughing at how we looked. It had gone on for a few songs, by the third Carl was loudly singing along to 'Love Story' in horrible pitch making wench every time he raised his voice that little bit higher.

"You're a tremble singer." I laugh while clasping into the couch.

"Oi!" Carl yells while falling on top of me, placing his legs on either side of mine. "You're suppose to be supportive."

"I am, I'm supporting you never having a singing career." I mock.

"Har, har."

Carl grabs one of the cushions that we had knocked on to the floor and tossed it into my face. Which only makes me laugh while I knock it away. Carl laughs along with me while he leans to press a kiss against my lips. I try to return it but it doesn't quite work while I continuing laugh. Carl tries to hide his smile from me while he gets up to go turn off the c.d player. Though his movements are cuts off by the back door opening. Rick is back? It slams loudly followed by heavy foot steps.

"Carl!" I hear Rick yell. "Ron!"

Me? What did I do? My heart races with panic. Though Rick doesn't sound mad rather he sound frantic. On instinct I get up and spare a glance to Carl who looks to me at the same time with a questioning look. Carl moves to arc way but Rick beats him there instead. Without thinking about it I move to place a hand on Carl lower back needing the contact now that Rick was here. Carl reaches back to place his hand over mine. My heart race seems to calm with Carl's hand holding mine. I fight the urge to rest my head on his shoulder.

"Something wrongs with Maggie." Rick says bluntly. "I'm going to see Judith then-"

Rick's words blur after that. What had happened to Maggie? Was she okay? Was her baby okay? Did I do something by accident the last time I saw her? No, no I didn't go near her stomach. I didn't graze her hand when she handed me the baby. I start to hear the sound of my heart thumping in my ears. My breathing got shallow and my hands begun to shake. What did I do? Was this my fault? Thoughts of the last time I saw Maggie ran through my mind while I tried to figure out if it was my thought.

My vision went blurry while felt like I was falling. I tried to focus on my breathing but nothing was working. After a minute my chest felt like something was crush it. My eyes were squeezed shut while I tried to ignored the sensation. Even with my eyes closed I still felt like my world was spinning. It didn't stop until I felt a stinging pressure come from my cheek. My eyes shot open at the feeling and all I saw was an up close Carl. I could make out the works but he looked frantic.

Glancing down to the pressures on my hands I see both Carl's were wrapped around mine tightly. My stare stayed on them while I continued to try breathing. I didn't know what to do I had never been this pain. My panic attacks had never made me deaf. Carl... Carl always made me feel better. I rip my hands from Carl's and instead pull him into a kiss. I hold my hands against the back of his neck while I kiss him. He hesitates before I feel him kiss me back. He adds pressure and pushes forward making fall backwards.

When my back hit against something soft Carl takes his lips from mine. His breathing is heavy like he had run a marathon. Hovering over me he takes in my appearance. His eyes frantic looking over my face for any signs I was still having a panic attack.

"Ron?" He questions. "Can you hear me? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine... I'm fine." I say breathlessly.

Relief spreads along Carl's face only to have him drop on top of me with his head against my chest. Looking up I see the roof of our room. When had I got here? I don't pay attention to the thought when I wrap my arms around Carl's back. If I had missed coming up here... What else had I missed?

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