Once again, I apologise for any inaccuracies with regards to anything medical. I have researched to make it as accurate as possible.
Connie glanced at her watch. The second infusion of acetylcysteine was nearly done. She began to prepare the third and final infusion of acetylcysteine to be infused over the next 16 hours. She knew that Rita, now conscious, was not going to be impressed at being kept in for a further 16 hours, minimum. Not that it mattered. The only thing that now mattered to Connie was Rita's health. She'd keep her here regardless and for as long as it took to get her better.
"I'm feeling OK," said a quiet voice. Connie glanced over to her, momentarily taking her eyes off the drugs she was drawing up.
"Good, but I don't think you're quite ready to leave right now,"
"I don't need help," Rita retorted. Connie raised her eyebrows as she looked over at her. She found herself marvelling at the fact that, even in the state she'd managed to get herself into, Rita was still so fiercely independent.
"That's fine, but at the moment you do need medication."
Connie's response seemed to shock Rita into silence for a moment. She had expected a lecture on how she would need to seek professional help. On how she'd need to take copious amounts of time off work. She certainly hadn't expected her to agree with her.
Rita watched quietly as Connie fixed up the next infusion. She wanted to say something but she wasn't quite sure what she wanted to say. As she lay there, watching, she couldn't help but notice how beautiful Connie appeared as she worked. Her unwavering focus on the job at hand, the tender way in which she carried out the necessary tasks without causing Rita any pain or discomfort and the way she effortlessly made her feel at ease.
Connie busied herself with as many pointless and unnecessary tasks as she could find. She had so many questions that she wanted to ask Rita but wasn't quite sure how to go about asking them. The longer she stayed, the more intrigued Rita became. Why hadn't Connie rushed off to deal with another patient, or to complete the copious amounts of paperwork that littered her desk each day? A couple of other emergency cases had come into resus and Connie had passed them onto other doctors in the department, assuring them she was too busy to assist them.
"How are you feeling?" Connie ventured tentatively.
"I've been better," Rita admitted, before pausing slightly. "But I've also been worse."
"Do you want to talk about it?" said Connie in a quiet voice, gently taking Rita's hand in hers. Rita's heart almost felt like it skipped a beat as Connie made physical contact with her.
"Um," Rita began, "I'm not sure what to say." She closed her eyes. "I feel you're going to expect more of me than I'm able to give." She let the sentence out in a rush. The last thing she wanted to do was to let Connie down again. She had, after all, done that so many times already.
"No pressure, just what you want to say, when you want to say it." Connie moved her other hand to Rita's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. After initial tension, she felt Rita's body begin to relax.
"Don't you hate me?" Rita blurted out. She looked deeply into the clinical lead's eyes as she said it before shutting them sharply again, as if afraid of the answer.
"No," Connie answered simply. "I think you're a great nurse and you are too hard on yourself." As she looked down, she saw a frail and fragile individual beneath her. It was at that moment she realised. Rita didn't need reprimanding and punishing; she needed love, compassion and someone who genuinely cared about her.
"I let everyone down. I let Mark down, I let you down. I let my patients down and I am just not good enough."
Connie listened as Rita ranted on, putting herself down. She desperately wanted to tell her that she hadn't let anyone down, least of all her. She had a strong suspicion though that she wouldn't believe her.
"You haven't let anyone down," Connie began, going against her better instincts. The strong protective instinct which she felt for Rita ran deep. "All you need to worry about now is getting yourself better." Connie grimaced at her words. As if it would be that simple.
"I'm so tired of being alone," Rita said to her, glancing up slightly as she finished her sentence. "I just want to be liked, just want to be loved. I want to be the most important thing in someone's life. Is that too much to ask?"
Quite a short chapter I'm afraid - the next few are a bit longer x x