Chapter 9

"Have you eaten tonight?" Connie asked.

"Not yet," Rita replied. "I must have fallen asleep on the sofa earlier so didn't get round to cooking anything." Connie sighed at her response. If that was the case, then Rita hadn't eaten anything since she'd had breakfast the hospital. If you could call that a meal; Connie had seen the amount of food that Rita had left. In fact, she'd not seen her finish a meal throughout the whole time that she had been in hospital. She'd just assumed that it was because of the unappetising hospital food but the more she thought about it, the more she thought that maybe it was because Rita hadn't been eating properly long before she'd been admitted to hospital.

"Do you want me to rustle something up?" she offered. "I mean, my cooking skills aren't great but I'm sure even I can manage scrambled egg on toast." She laughed slightly as she said this and as Rita glanced towards her she saw the usually formidable clinical lead looking relaxed.

"I can do it," Rita began before Connie cut her off.

"I know you can. I know you are fiercely independent. I know that you've coped alone for a long time and I'm not disputing that. But right at this moment, I'd really like to take the pressure off and make you, well both of us, a very simple dinner." Connie's tone was kind as she spoke. She was speaking from the heart as she wanted nothing more than to help Rita; to be let in by her and allow her to give some support.

"Okay, scrambled egg on toast would be lovely," Rita conceded. "But only if you're sure you don't mind." She couldn't help but add.

"It would be my pleasure." Connie replied, crossing the room and gently taking Rita's hand in her own. "Why don't you go and make yourself comfy on the sofa whilst your kitchen and I get acquainted?" It was more of an instruction than a question. Connie gave Rita's hand a gentle squeeze before she let go and made her way to the fridge to find the eggs.

As Rita snuggled down underneath the fleece blanket again she smiled to herself. Although initially she'd been apprehensive about Connie's visit, she found herself finding comfort in hearing her move about the kitchen as she prepared their supper. She smiled as she thought back on the many times over the past few days when Connie had initiated physical contact with her: taking her hand gently into her own; squeezing her shoulder to give support, comfort and encouragement; standing that little bit closer than she usually would. Her smile faded suddenly as she thought she was probably reading too much into it. Connie was her boss, after all. All these things might make Rita's heart flutter but she doubted that Connie would feel the same. Rita tried to switch her mind back to the TV and whatever mind-numbing show happened to be on at present. Whatever had brought Connie here tonight, it certainly wasn't because she felt anything for her. As much as she'd love to feel optimistic about any future friendship with Connie, Rita knew deep down how that wasn't likely. After all, she was useless. Useless as a nurse, useless as a wife and just a general waste of space.

Connie entered the room, breaking her thoughts and snapping her back to reality.

"Here," she said as she waited as Rita propped herself up into a sitting position. "I hope it tastes okay. I'm so used to just cooking for myself that I forget that sometimes meals have to edible for other people!"

"It looks great," Rita said as she took the plate from Connie.

Connie sat next to Rita on the sofa and they both ate in silence for a few minutes. From time to time, Connie glanced across to Rita, watching her as she took tiny mouthfuls of her dinner, making each mouthful last what seemed like a lifetime.

"How're you getting on?" Connie said, breaking the silence. "Is it edible?"

"It's lovely," Rita hastily replied. "It is," she assured Connie who'd raised an eyebrow as she'd seen how much Rita was struggling to eat the simple meal that she'd prepared for her. "I'm just not that hungry at the moment."

Once they'd both finished, Connie took both the plates back to the kitchen. She couldn't help but notice that Rita seemed to have left more food than she'd eaten. She didn't want to say anything in case it made Rita feel uncomfortable but she couldn't help but feel worried about the frail blonde nurse who lay on the sofa in the adjoining room.

After clearing up the kitchen, Connie sat back down on the sofa alongside Rita. She paused slightly before taking Rita's hand in her hers. As she gently squeezed and massaged Rita's hand beneath hers, Rita gradually began to relax. Connie tentatively pulled Rita towards her as she relaxed back into the sofa. She let her hand run up and down the length of Rita's arm hoping that her gentle touch would provide Rita with the comfort she needed. Gradually, Connie could feel Rita relaxing into her soft embrace.

"You know I'm here for you, don't you?" Connie asked gently as she pulled Rita closer to her body as they both lay on the sofa.

"Huummmp," came the muffled reply. Connie felt Rita's body stiffen slightly alongside her own before relaxing again once she began stroking her arm once more.

"I'm here if you want to talk, want to moan or need to off-load." Connie's tone was soft and gentle and all the while she kept stroking Rita's arm in the same predictable, repetitive, reassuring rhythm.

"Thank you," came the mumbled reply. They sat in silence for a few moments before Rita spoke again. "I'm not really used to opening up to people. Usually, if I get close to anyone, sooner or later, it all goes horribly wrong."

As she paused to take a breath and in thought, Connie felt her heart skip a beat; how could anyone as lovely as Rita be so averse to letting people in? As she held Rita in her arms she wondered what she'd been through in the past. She knew that Rita's marriage to Mark had not been successful and from her own experiences she knew how much the deceit, the lying and the divorce must have hurt Rita. She felt herself pull Rita closer as she thought back to her own memories of relationships that hadn't quite worked out for the best. As she lay there next to Rita she found herself wishing that the moment would never end. At some point soon, Rita would surely come to her senses and see Connie for who she truly was. The thought terrified her. Over the past few days she had found herself becoming closer and closer to the clinical nurse manager, and she had to admit that the feelings that she felt for her were growing stronger and stronger by the day. Her biggest fear was that Rita would turnaround and tell her to leave; that she didn't want her help anymore.