The next morning I woke up at dawn.
I went immediately to the shower trying to watch me as little as possible at the mirror to avoid looking at my dark circles that stood out on the waxy face because of little sleep due to my usual nightmares. I stuck my uniform and left my long flowing hair blacks. After taking the necessary for the day, and having recovered Hermione' purse, I walked in the park to enjoy the timid rays of morning sun.
I sat quiet on the grass beside the black lake finlmente I reflected on what had happened to me. Living in 1976 meant many things, including seeing die back all my family without my being able to do anything and watch my brother and all who had known growing up without interfering. I cursed my fate for throwing a stone into the water remaining enchanted by the ripples that the stone had generated.
I expected 7:40 am before returning to the castle and walk straight into the Charms classroom. When I arrived the hall was already full and the only open seat was in front of pew next to a girl with long red hair.
"I'm sorry you busy?" I asked timidly.
The girl turned around and I was enchanted: her smile was magnificent, as well as her skin, her beautiful green eyes and her bright red hair like fire.
"No, sit down as well. By the way I'm Lily, Lily Evans. "
"Elizabeth Martin." I replied, smiling shyly and taking a seat and began to rummage in the bag for the need for the lesson.
"If you need anything, even aid for lessons do not hesitate to ask me." she continued.
"Thank you." I stammered, fortunately interrupted by the arrival of the professor.
A younger version of Professor Flitwick soon began to explain the year's program underlining the importance of being consistent study in view of the NEWT. I took pen and parchment and I started writing notes, finally managing to distract myself from the absurd situation where I was, enjoying even a slight taste of normalcy.
At the sound of the bell, I quickly gathered my things by stuffing bulk purse and wide making among students, I went to the library taking place in an isolated table next to the forbidden section. Trying to attract less attention I can, I stood up looking for books that could explain what curse had been used to send me at that time and why. Immersed in the research, unfortunately unsuccessful, I forgot to have lunch and it was only by a miracle that I came to Transfiguration class on time.
McGonagall' lesson, although very difficult from the point of view of content, quickly led my mind to the past and lulled by the normality and the relaxation that the teacher voice caused me, I began to take notes with the heart a little 'more light.
At the end of the two hours Lily reached me before I could get away from it all.
"Hey! I have not seen you after the Charms lesson. "
"I was in the library to do research."
"Are you a fan of books?" She asked me with dreamy eyes.
"Sort of, let's say I like to keep myself informed." I whispered timidly, awed by her smile.
"Finally someone who thinks like me." She said.
"Want to go to Arithmancy together?" I asked, embarrassed before I could stop and think about the consequences that this would have caused.
"I wish," she said softly.
Two girls came up to us and approached my mother, introducing himself to me as Mary MacDonald and Alice Prewett. For a moment I thought about what would happen in a few years to Neville' mother and the other girl, but I tried to shake off the negative feelings.
Without waiting for additional time, we headed for the next class while the girls began to talk about this and that; I noticed soon as Lily remained always a bit 'on the sidelines taking part rarely in the conversation of the two. I never knew much about my mother, I thought she was a very sunny girl, friendly with everyone and very open, but now that I had the chance to know her, I could see that she was monstrously similar to me and I could not help but to feel happy for that.
Arrived in the classroom Arithmancy Lily sat back down next to me smiling at me while Professor Vector entered the classroom and began to speak too of the importance of the continuity of the study in view of the NEWT.
Unlike the rest of the day I was not very attentive: I was tired and sad and even though my arm was healed began to ache so, once the lesson ended, I camped a generic excuse and walked to the dormitory, but I was caught by Remus.
"Elizabeth ... Hey, wait!" He called me by the steps three at a time to get faster.
I stopped to watch him curiously in the middle of the staircase.
"Where are you going?" He asked breathlessly.
"In the dormitory, I'm so tired after today."
"Are you not coming to dinner?" He continued curious.
I jumped for a second and only then I noticed how my stomach twisting themselves from hunger.
"Come with me?" He suggested.
I pressed my lips together in doubt, but I nodded. I did not jump for joy about coming back in the Great Hall, indeed quite the opposite because every time I came in there the ghosts of the people who had lost crowded my mind, but I needed to eat. Without another word I followed in silence my godfather.
"Then how do you seemed Hogwarts?" Remus asked, sitting at the head of the long red-gold table.
"Wonderful. - I said with a tight smile shy imitating him and pouring of pumpkin juice - Where are your friends? "
"I fear they are organizing one of their little jokes." He replied sadly.
I chuckled.
"They are the best friends you could wish for, but sometimes they are a bit '... how to say ... exuberant." He admitted.
Talk to Remus was relaxing and nostalgic at the same time, my godfather had always had the gift of being able to calm me with his speeches making me forget my worries.
Once finished dinner, despite all of the students were still at the table, we got up and headed back towards the common room. After passing the portrait of the Fat Lady a strange silence greeted us and without losing a second I pulled the wand pointing it in front of me and placing myself in front of Remus. Two men appeared from the back of the room slowly approaching towards us. The first had long blond silver hair, he carried a walking stick with a silver handle in the shape of a snake's head and he had a mask on his face, while the second had his face covered with scars and looked at me grinning.
I stepped back almost involuntarily toward Remus, while my right hand began to tremble, and the scars on my resumed back to ache as if the wounds were still open.
Lucius Malfoy smiled at my weakness and pulled with making stylish wand as he pointed to an inert body in the far corner of the room visible only to me. I took my breath when I saw for the second time my brother's lifeless eyes.
I squeezed his wand up to see my knuckles become white trying to take courage and waited for the two men did the first move, but a giggle coming from the couch behind me made me distracted and there I understood. The two men in this age could not get the look they had in my and my brother's body could not be here, this was just the result of a mushy. Not without pulling a shuddering sigh of relief I screamed the Riddikulus spell to transform the demon, and then send it to shut himself inside an empty trunk that I noticed only at that time, was at the center of the room. James, Sirius and Peter suddenly appeared giggling.
"What the hell did you think you're doing ?!" I exclaimed angrily, still shaken from happening.
"It was just a harmless joke!" Sirius said, approaching with a smile on his face.
"Harmless? Harmless?! A Boggart is harmless? Someone could get hurt! And you - I said, turning to Remus - I bet you'd agree with them, that's why you walked me to dinner! "I retorted wound.
"No, I ..." my godfather began, but I did not let him finish speaking.
"You are stupid." I whispered, walking up the stairs to my room.
"Hey, Tom was one of those two?" I heard James screaming.
I ran up the stairs as the tears ran down my cheeks, my breath was getting shorter and heart pounding. I went in and slammed the door and began to pronounce all the spells that Hermione usually launched when we ran into the woods. I walked into the bathroom and threw up the whole dinner and while the tears continued to fall to no end I tossed in bed. That night I remembered Malfoy Manor.
When I woke up the sun had not risen yet, I hurried to get dressed and take a shower and I decided to occupy the time starting to do the tasks which fortunately concluded in a short time. The sun had just risen when I walked away from the Gryffindor Common room for getting around the castle, I passed into the kitchen and took the biscuits that the house elves offered me on my way then into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and putting myself first desk, right where I usually sat with Hermione. Like the day before Lily sat down next to me.
I tried to answer his greetings, but the memories of the previous night were always live in me and I failed to be convincing enough. Lily, taking my hand in his, smiled sweet to me.
The beginning of the lesson was a godsend because it finally made me distracted from my problems, half of it though, a small leaflet appeared on my desk. Trying not to be discovered by the teacher I opened it, inside a single word: 'Excuse us'.
I took the piece of parchment, I rolled up and using my wand threw it in the trash continuing unabated to follow the lesson. At the end of it, I made my way along the red in Potions class.
"What was that note that I came to class?" Lily asked in the stairs towards the dungeons.
"The apology of the Marauders." I replied, trying to close the subject.
"Did they bother? Do you want me to talk to them? "She exclaimed immediately alarmed.
"No thanks. It was just a stupid joke. "
Lily did not seem to think so and she frowned.
"Let them lose, they are so stupid!" She said again and then enters the courtroom and sit.
Follow the lesson and not be able to blow up the cauldron was very difficult because of the tickets from the boys continued uninterruptedly to send me, apologizing and making list of a thousand reasons why I should not be angry including a Sirius' note saying 'I'm too good to someone gets mad at me '. At the end of the lesson I apologize to Lily and I run out of the courtroom.
I wandered a long time for the park of the castle, enjoying the rays of the sun on my skin and even warm breeze looking to delete the stress of the last hours.
"Elizabeth!"
I closed my eyes for a moment and I turned.
"What do you need?" I asked, tired to the Marauders, I just wanted to get away from everything and everyone why they had to continue to insist?
"You have ignored our tickets. We want to apologize seriously."Sirius said.
I snorted impatiently, possible that they would have haunted me until I would not have what they wanted?
"Do you think it is normal to hide a boggart in the common room? Someone would have seriously hurt himself."
"We told you, we do not want to scare you, it was a joke for first year girls." Continued James and Peter at his side nodded energetically.
I bite my tongue not to respond and turned resuming my walk, I heard Sirius mutter to Peter that I was worse than Lily and in that moment I thanked the destiny to be like my mother, but soon this feeling was replaced by sadness and homesickness, so strong that I did not notice that I stayed.
A hand on my shoulder made me turn, Remus. Her honey-colored eyes stared at me disappointed and I had to appeal to all my strength not fly very into his arms crying.
"Actually I had nothing to do anything - he whispered - they're good guys, maybe a little 'idiots, but good. They had no intention of doing harm to anyone. "
I nodded trying to throw down the lump in my throat, but I did not hold back a sob. James and Sirius turned around immediately and make eye of my father, so damn similar to mine and Harry' ones, I burst into tears falling to the floor and hugging my shoulders.
"We did not want to make you cry." Said the four together.
"Please, I need to be alone."
The boys looked at each other for a moment and although with a little 'of hesitation they left still looking back, perhaps feeling a bit' guilty. On the one hand I was hurt that they had heard my words, Remus and Sirius that I knew would have remained there with me ignoring my words, but on the other hand, I thanked heaven that they had done so.
Once a few hours later, I had taken an acceptable demeanor, I ran to the greenhouses, coming just for a few seconds in time for the Erbology lesson. The boys looked at me with a guilty look making sure that I was well and Remus invited me to sit with him. I am taking a deep breath I did as he had asked me even though not without hesitation, starting to work with him for the lesson.
"How are you?" He asked shyly.
"Better - I lied - I did not want to involve you, sorry."
"No, you do not have to apologize, I should have stayed, I'm a fool."
"Absolutely not, we've known for so little." I assured him, I did not want them with me just out of obligation, it would have been horrible.
"I want to make up time, and be your friend, if you'll allow me."
I smiled and thanked him, unable to say a word.
"Then Elizabeth ..."
"Beth. - I interrupted him – Call me Beth. "
"Beth. - He repeated, smiling sweetly - You have no idea how to work on this thing? "He asked, still pointing to the bench.
Above it there was a bath, similar to an aquarium in size, with inside a very similar to a seaweed plant.
"It is gillyweed - I explained - I honestly do not know how to cultivate, but if you eat sprouting gills."
"Passionate about Herbology. - He said - I have to mark it in my list of what you like. "
I chuckle, earning a glare from the teacher.
"You can cross out immediately this entry. I hate Herbology. "I whispered.
Remus smiled, but he managed to hide it to the teacher.
"How did you know what it was then?" He asked curiously.
I thought about Harry, Neville and my other friends, I tried not to show my feelings, but my godfather notice.
"If you do not want to tell me it's the same." He said.
"My brother used it." I explained without going into detail and tell him why I had darkened.
"I did not know you have a brother!"
I tried to normal showing me smile, but what I came out it was only a grimace. I did not tell him that Harry was dead. For him now would be a complete stranger, but it was still Remus and tell him it would mean to disappoint since long before I had promised that I would have kept safe, what's more say it aloud would make it even more real.
Taken by my thoughts I did not notice the first year girl who entered the in the classroom and that called my name out loud and asked me to go to Professor Dumbledore, it was only thanks to Remus who patted me on the arm and whispered me what had been told that I did not make a bad impression. Silently I gathered my things and headed toward the study of the principal, who was waiting for me just across the gargoyle. He greeted me with a nod and led me up the stairs.
The study of man was just as I remembered: circular and full of strange objects and candies of all kinds, on the perch to welcome me there was Fanny who snapped his beak in greeting. Dumbledore sat down and after a sign of his head followed suit.
"How was the first day of school?" He asked me cheerful.
"Everything normal." I replied shyly.
"I did not see you much in the Great Hall."
"I ... it's hard to get into that place without re-think about what happened, it is more difficult to return to normal." I explained.
"I get it. If by chance I want to tickle the pear under the floor below the Great Hall I think you might find interesting what you'll see, "he said, winking.
I smiled realizing his suggestion to go to the kitchen if I was hungry and I thanked him.
"Sir... - I started with a trembling voice - I know that horrible things happen to those who meddles in time, but does not believe that something can be done?"
"After what you've told me, - he began with a serious look - .I think it's difficult to get the worst results of what will happen then, if you you feel, I do not see why not try."
"Thank you sir."
"Remember Miss Potter - he stopped me the man before my leave - that Hogwarts will always give help to those who deserve it."
I nodded and left the office and wandered through the castle for two hours thinking about what Dumbledore had told me before setting towards the common room. In few words he gave me its ok to proceed and to stop the war before it began.
I was afraid. Fear of failure, to make matters worse, fear of not being up. Harry was the brave and Hermione the smart one. Once again I could not help but think that my brother was the one who deserved to stay here and not me.
I did not give heed to my comrades called me and asked me to sit next to them, I just walked into my room and I laid down on the bed trying to figure out what the hell should I have done, only one thing I was certain: no one would have passed this that had happened to me.