The entire BLU team gave the loudest cheer you could ever imagine as the third and final RED intelligence briefcase was dropped off and secured in their base. After almost two straight weeks of losing, they had finally won a fight, and being on the hunting party instead of the hunted felt like a breath of fresh, clean air.
It hadn't been easy, though. Both teams were one briefcase away from victory when the battle became a standstill, with each defence equally impenetrable. Both teams were forced to eat their meals right on the battlefield during lunch hour, and the tension could be cut with a knife as both medics kept trying to build an uber to bypass the other's strong defences. Eventually, though, the BLU Demoman had found a spot where the enemy's sentry didn't detect him, and, one sticky bomb explosion later, almost the entire BLU team rushed into the RED base, killing everyone and stealing the last intelligence.
During the humiliation round, Nathan had looked everywhere for Richard, but he was nowhere to be seen. In fact, the young boy had not seen the double crossing coward since their fight in the intelligence room, where he blatantly cheated. No matter, he thought to himself as he took a teleporter back towards the changing rooms with the rest of his happy team. He'd be able to rub this win right in his smug little face once he got home.
After hearing another one of the Soldier's boring victory speeches (where he mostly congratulated himself for "putting you maggots to work") and changing back to his more casual clothes, the Scout was heading for the teleporter room, when the Engineer stopped him. "Hey, stringbean, we need your help with something."
"Yeah, a'right, as long as I get paid for the extra work. Wassup?" he replied, turning his attention to his friend, who, to Nathan's surprise, was still dressed in his uniform, and was holding a large black briefcase.
"We gotta bring this here briefcase over to our HQ. The RED's papers are inside, but we need ta decode it, and our base doesn't have the translation tools they got. Problem is, the teleporter to HQ just malfunctioned, got no idea why. And HQ is an easy ten miles from here, if not more."
"Yeah, what's your point? Get Sniper to bring it for ya. He's got that big van he lives in." said Nathan, shrugging and turning back to the teleporter room, but the Engy's hand on his shoulder made him stop.
"That's the thing. Sniper's van broke too. The motor just...stopped working. I'm gonna help 'im try to fix it."
"You freakin' kiddin' me?!"
"I wish. I ain't enjoying this either, Scout. I want to get home as much as you do." Dell replied, a tired look on his face.
Nathan took a deep sigh as he reached out and grabbed the briefcase. Being the fastest member of your team had its up and downs, it seems.
Instead of heading to the teleporter room like he wanted, Nathan was forced to walk through a bunch of security checkpoints and take the exit usually reserved for the employees working the building, leading him out into the middle of the New Mexico desert. Their base, cleverly disguised as a storage depot to anyone passing by, mostly consisted of their changing room, teleporter room, and a bunch of maintenance rooms for non-mercenary employees to work in, and was the only building for a few miles in this wasteland. The base was where the mercenaries came and prepared themselves for battle, while their HQ, otherwise commonly known as TF Industries Headquarters, was where they gave out assignments, decoded papers, created weapons and gear with their sub-division called Mann Co, and hired employees. Why the two buildings couldn't simply be at the same place, he never knew.
In front of the base was the parking lot, where Sniper's big van was parked. Nathan could see smoke coming out of the engine. He watched the Sniper scratch his head and speak to the Engineer, who was beside him with a toolbox, but Nathan was too far to hear what they were saying. Around the base and the parking lot was a tall fence made out of solid steel, and the only entrance and exit was a heavily guarded checkpoint at the front, with retractable barricades to stop any car from trying to drive through. After passing through the checkpoint, Nathan saw a concrete road, going from the left horizon to the right horizon in a perfectly straight, boring line. Groaning and hoping they have a teleporter back to Boston over at HQ, Nathan tied the briefcase to his back, pulled out his earphones and began to jog towards the right, where he was told the HQ would be found.
After a few long minutes of jogging in the desert heat, a faint roaring noise could be heard behind Nathan. Obviously, the young adult couldn't hear it right away because of his music blasting loudly in his ears, but, eventually, the roaring noise became louder and louder, until it caught the Scout's attention, and he quickly turned around. Coming up the road was a sleek sports car, which Nathan quickly recognized as a 1971 Camaro, since he enjoyed skimming through car magazines in his spare time. It was a bright red, with a white stripe going down the middle, and it was kicking off a pretty big dust cloud behind it. Nathan was just about to wonder who could be driving a car like that in the middle of nowhere, when the vehicle slowed down and stopped next to him, and the answer gave him a big smile.
"Oh no. There is no freakin' way I'm gettin' in that car with you" he shouts, turning back towards HQ and walking furiously away from Richard's car. As much as he tried to ignore the sports car, the Spy drove it slowly beside him, smiling all the while.
"Oh, come now, Nathan. You're not really going to walk all the way over to your headquarters when I'm offering a lift, are you?"
"Yeah I am, 'cause I prefer walking in this fuckin' desert than to spend even one second anywhere near you, ya backstabbin' asshole!" He said, walking a bit faster.
"Well, alright, if you say so. I can't force you to enter my car. Enjoy your 20 mile walk, Nathan!"
Richard slowly began to drive away, a grin on his face. When he heard Nathan calling for him to stop, his grin grew wider, and he happily obliged. Nathan walked over to the passenger seat window.
"Didja say 20 miles?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Why, I thought you knew, Nathan! Yes, I did say 20 miles. But, like you told me, you would rather walk. Who am I to question your preferences?" replied the Spy with a large grin. He could see, from the look on Nathan's face, that he was internally debating with himself whether or not he should accept the offer of a ride. On one hand, walking would avoid making him spend any more time than necessary with the Spy, but, on the other, walking 20 miles takes an awful lot of time, and he'd arrive home late.
Finally, the Scout groaned, opening the car door.
"A'right, give me a lift. But you keep your hands far away from this." He said, showing him the briefcase as he entered the car.
"Honestly, Nathan, do you think I came out here under a pretext of helping you out as an attempt to steal back my team's intelligence? If I was easily offended, that would hurt." he scoffed with a small grin as he waited for the boy to buckle up before driving down the single, solitary road.
The two rode in silence for the first few minutes, with the Scout holding the briefcase tightly on his lap, staring outside and giving a few occasional but brief glances at the Frenchman in the driver's seat. Nathan groaned silently as he saw that Richard had his cigarette on his lips as he kept sporting that stupid looking smile, which was the only part of his stupid looking face, other than his stupid looking eyes, that wasn't concealed in his stupid looking mask. Many times, the Scout saw that the Spy seemed to want to say something. He seemed to want to break the ice between them. But he didn't spoke a word since they left.
Growing annoyed and uncomfortable with this silence, Nathan turned on the AM/FM radio and quickly went through the channels, hoping to find something good, but all he found was some 24 hour news program, a country music channel and some other channel where they were only speaking in Spanish; there was nothing good. Obviously.
"Allow me" Richard said with a small smile, pulling out a cassette tape from between the two seats and sticking it into his radio. A few seconds later, the voice of a lady singing in a high pitched French voice could be heard inside the car.
"What the hell's this opera crap?" Nathan asked, raising his eyebrow. Why did he expect anything other than Classical music from Richard?
"This 'opera crap' is called 'L'amour est un oiseau rebelle'. Perhaps you know it under the name 'La Habanera'?" he asked with a smile as he kept driving down the rather straight road.
"Sorry, I'm no fan of borin' music." Nathan replied, reaching for the eject button for the cassette, but the Spy slapped his hand down.
"This is my car, and I will play my music in my car. Besides, you should try to be more cultured instead of constantly listening to this headache called 'rap'."
The Scout grumbled as he laid back on his seat, staring out the window as he listened to the 'Abenara' or whatever it was called.
L'amour est enfant de Bohême,
Il n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi,
Si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime,
Si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
What the hell was she droning on about? For all Nathan knew, she could be singing complete gibberish. And Richard liked this? If the Scout needed any more of a reason to think that the Spy was retarded, it was this.
As the two men drove down the long, empty road, Nathan looked up ahead and saw the first building for miles: a small, rather crumby looking diner, with barely anyone in front of the place. How some old place like this could still be open in the middle of nowhere was beyond him, but he scoffed a bit as he looked at his well dressed driver. "Hey, Spy, ya wanna grab somethin' to eat at that diner over there? I mean, I know it ain't the five star restaurant where you always eat, but..." Nathan chuckled, expecting Richard to reply in absolute disgust. Maybe he could even have a bit of fun teasing the Spy about it. However, the Scout's cocky grin faded as he saw the Spy smile and signal his turn into the parking lot for the zero people behind them.
"That sounds like an excellent idea, Nathan! In fact, I was just about to offer it myself."
"Uhh...ya do know I was kiddin'...right?"
"Well, I'm not. I'm starving" replied the Spy as he parked his car and turned it off before stepping outside. "Come on. I'll pay."
Nathan didn't really know what to think. Was Richard really considering eating in this dump? Was it his plan to get them both poisoned on greasy shit that barely qualifies as food? But, then again, Nathan's growling stomach did beckon him to follow the Spy...he had skipped lunch today in an attempt to steal the intel while the other team was eating. And the Spy did offer to pay, which means he could happily take the most expensive things on the menu. So, with a shrug, Nathan got out as well, and the two entered the diner.
The inside of the diner was exactly as how you would picture it. The door was on the front left side of the building and forced you to turn right as soon as you walked in. A countertop on the left side that was very loosely defined as clean, with a menu hanging up on the wall behind it and stools placed in front of it. Many traditional diner seats and tables were on the right side, mostly empty, except for the trucker sitting alone at the far end of the diner. Music could be heard in the form of a jukebox playing some old tunes. Nathan and Richard both sat down at one of the cleaner tables, picked up their menus, and buried their faces inside them silently. A few moments later, a young waitress came to their tables. "And what can I get for you two boys?" she says with a smile. Nathan was the first to answer, and he gave the waitress a small smirk.
"Well, babe, the first thing ya could give me is your number." he said with a wink, which only made the waitress look a bit uncomfortable and made Richard sigh softly.
"Don't be crass and give the lady your order, Nathan."
The young boy rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. I'll getta club sandwich with fries an' a beer." he groaned as the waitress wrote it down quickly, still looking a bit uncomfortable. She then smiled and turned to Richard. "And for you, sir?"
"Yeah, Richard, what's ya gonna get? Sorry t'say they got no lobster or caviar 'round here." Nathan taunted with a grin, while Richard simply closed his menu and placed it back on the side of the table.
"I'll have the cheeseburger, mademoiselle, but please, no mayonnaise. With it, some fries, and a tall glass of water. Thank you."
The young waitress smiled as she wrote down the order, before leaving and giving the cook of this diner the order. The Scout and the Spy looked at each other silently for a few seconds, before Nathan chuckled, remembering what he wanted to do before being asked to deliver the briefcase. "So, our team won today."
"They sure did" replied Richard with a small smile. Nathan smiled wider.
"Well, that proves we're better than your team, frenchy."
"For today, at least."
Nathan's smile faded a little. "And we'll beat your ass again t'morrow, because your team is worthless."
"Perhaps."
"Nothing ever bothers you, huh?" Nathan asked, groaning softly.
"Now, that's not true. Many things can bother me. I'm just mature enough to know not to react to a stroke of luck from your team." Richard replied with a chuckle.
"A stroke of luck?! We kicked your ass! Ya guys lost 'cause we outsmarted you! I-" Nathan groaned, closing his eyes, before opening them with a chuckle. "Don't matter. You're obviously just jealous we broke your little winnin' streak. Besides, I didn't see you much during today. What, hidin' 'cause you're scared of me, Richard?"
"What are you talking about, Nathan? You saw me all day on that battlefield." shrugged Richard as the drinks arrived.
"No I didn't, you-"
"The Heavy who was healing himself up by that dispenser that you asked for a sandwich? The real Heavy was trying to get my team from the sewers, with your Medic."
Nathan blinked, remembering how the "Heavy" had told him that he didn't have his sandwich on him right now. That was Richard? If so, he played his role well...but Nathan shrugged.
"Yeah, so what. Oohoohoo, you can use a disguise kit. Big-"
"And that Sniper," Richard interrupted with a smile, "who you told to keep throwing his urine all over the place? That was me too, Nathan."
"Yeah, so? I-"
"The Demoman who waved at you near the stairs. The Soldier who ordered you to attack us from the roof, 'accidentally' forgetting about the sentry positioned nearby. The Medic who couldn't heal you because he had to run back to the spawn room. And so many, many other situations. Those were all me."
Nathan remembered all of those moments of the day as Richard named them off, his eyes growing quite wide, before scoffing.
"Oh, bullshit. If those had really been you, ya would've tried to backstab me."
"Oh, the thought crossed my mind multiple times, trust me. But, in the end, I realized that letting you hunt me down fruitlessly and letting you constantly check your back in your classic paranoid fashion was much more amusing than sending you back to your spawn room again and again."
"Yeah, right. What's next, ya gonna tell me the teleporter to my HQ broke 'cause-"
"I opened up the control panel on the side and sliced one simple wire. It kept the teleporter 'open', until you try actually using it."
Nathan blinked. No way. How...?
"And..."
"Your Sniper's van?" Richard asked, taking a small sip of his glass of water with a chuckle. "I'm holding your answer in my hand right now. A few gallons of water into the tank, and it won't start until he drains the whole thing. Really, this is sabotage 101."
At this point, the two meals arrived, placed in front of their owner by the smiling waitress. Nathan looked down at his meal and was amazed that it actually looked and smelled...edible. Not just edible, but even good.
The two men grabbed their meals with small smiles. While Nathan instantly bit into his club sandwich, Richard held his cheeseburger with both hands, looking at it for a few seconds. Then, looking up a bit, he softly said, with a small smile "Pour toi, mon maudit imbécile."
Nathan glanced up at where Richard was looking, then looked at the Frenchman questionably. "What didja say right now?"
"I wasn't speaking to you, Nathan." Richard replied, taking a bite out of his burger. Nathan blinked, taking another bite of his sandwich as he spoke up.
"So...lemme get this straight, then...you break the teleporter to my HQ and Sniper's van, don't know how...for what? So I could walk in the desert?"
"That's right."
"And then you came and gave me a lift?"
"Yes."
"Why?!" Nathan asked, annoyed at the Spy. He could be home right now, instead of some diner in the middle of nowhere.
"To spend some time with you, Nathan. Some father and son time." Richard replied with a smug little grin.
"What, that's your idea of a fun time? Keeping us here? And you ain't my father. You're not married to my ma, so you ain't even a step dad to me."
"I'm not married to Laura, yet." Richard grinned, seeing the boy's nerves get on their ends.
"Not yet and not EVAR!" he said loudly enough for everyone in the diner to hear.
"I don't think that's your choice to make, Nathan. If your mother wishes to marry me someday, there's nothing you can do about it."
The Scout nearly rose from his seat as he began to shout.
"I'll make sure she never wants you, ya fuckin' sunova-"
"Nathan, please! Watch your language."
The Scout was just about to rattle off every swear word he had learned since he was ten, but he noticed that the cute waitress from earlier was now staring at their table quizzically. So, Nathan kept his mouth shut and refused to speak to Richard for the remainder of their meal.
It was only after paying their dues and walking back to the car that Nathan began to speak again.
"C'mon, Richard. Just tell me."
"Tell you what, Nathan?" asked the Spy as he pulled out of the diner's parking lot and back onto the long highway.
"Are ya really gonna try to marry my ma?"
"Like I said, Nathan. If she wants to."
"Aw, come on! She doesn't know the real you! Ya keep lying to her 'bout every little detail."
"Oh? Name me one."
"Easy. Your mask."
Nathan could see that Richard gave a small frown while keeping his eyes on the road. Finally, he spoke up. "What about my mask?"
"You feed her this story that ya got it from World War 2 and stuff when we both know you got this cheap piece o' shit from some discount shop somewhere." replied Nathan with a chuckle. The Scout looked back at the Spy, expecting him to chuckle himself or respond with something witty that would shut him up. Instead, he saw the Spy, rather furiously looking ahead, his hands grabbing a cigarette and lighting it in his mouth before they went down, gripping tightly around the steering wheel as the car visibly went faster down the empty highway. Oh-ho! I think I struck a nerve, thought Nathan with a big grin.
"Ya probably got it for free, too. They were like, 'we got this old mask that's been in our garbage for years, you can have it!' Huh, Richard? Is that it?"
The Spy replied nothing as he increased his speed a bit down the highway. At the speed they were currently heading, it would've been deadly if there were any other cars in the road, and the BLU's HQ was rapidly coming up from the horizon. Nathan was about to tell Richard to slow down, or else they would zoom past it, but he didn't have to, since the Spy slammed the brakes, slowly down the sports car at the perfect distance to stop it right in front of the HQ gates.
"Nathan, please get out of my car." said the Spy. He didn't shout it, and he didn't say it full of hatred, he simply asked Nathan to get out. But, for some reason, Nathan didn't want to reply anything back to the Spy, or leave him with an insult. He didn't know why, but he knew he shouldn't disobey this request. So, Nathan quickly got out of the car. The moment he closed the passenger seat door, the car zoomed off at high speeds down the dusty highway. Nathan blinked a bit, looking at the back of the sports car as it drove off, before shrugging and walked towards the Headquarters. Of course, he wouldn't be able to do so without passing by a few security checkpoints. He entered a booth and looked at the armed security guard on the other side of a bulletproof glass.
"ID card, sir?"
Nathan pulled out his wallet and took out his work ID card that he had been given when he was first hired, showing his picture, name, height, weight, and, obviously, that he worked for Builder's League United. The guard took the card and examined it for a few seconds, passing it by a computer to make sure it wasn't a fake. When the computer told him everything was legit, the guard looked up and asked the next question he needed to ask on his security protocol.
"And what is your purpose here today, sir?"
"I'm here to deliver a briefcase full of RED's papers that we stole earlier today." Nathan answered with a small sigh. The faster this guy lets him through, the faster he can get home.
"And where is that briefcase, sir?"
Nathan opened his mouth to answer, but his face dropped as his eyes opened wide.
He forgot the briefcase in Richard's car.