Apologies for any editing errors. Reviews are greatly welcomed. I hope you enjoy it. I used some words from the show which obviously belong to Shondaland and ABC. Thanks

As interrogation goes, it was mild compared to what Abby and Alexia normally dish out. There had been an intervention style meeting once before where she nearly cut ties with her sister and best friend. That was until Alexia texted her "Chicks before dicks every time. We always have your back" and she had responded with "Are we teens again? I got yours too". Their relationship had been restored but Fitz had remained a difficult topic for all of them, unfortunately he had allowed this opening and they were taking advantage of it.

Abby was leaning on the other side of the kitchen island, while Alexia had stayed on the sofa sipping her coffee.

"So tell all, leave nothing out" from Abby

"Yes, how did you end up with that delicious morsel"

"No Alexia, he was delectable, tasty and he could fill me up anytime". Even Olivia had to join in the laughter.

"I went drinking in a bar when Fitz cancelled at the last minute and he helped me home"

"What else did he help himself to" Abby said winking exaggeratedly.

"Ok, so he stayed, we had sex then we said goodbye".

"What do you mean goodbye? Is he married? He took advantage of you?" Alexia was getting more worked up as she threw the questions at Olivia.

Olivia raised her hands to stop all the discussion. "Look he is not married but we both agreed it was just one night. Have I ever been taken advantage of?"

She told them of Jakes washing her face after throwing up, putting her to bed and sleeping on the sofa. And how he took her to a show the next day and the Empire Building that night. How natural it felt to sleep with him even though he said he wasn't going to be around.

"I'm glad I did. I don't regret it for one second. Two ships passing in the night or something like that."

Abby could see the depth of her feelings written all over her face, no it wasn't as simple as that. But that wasn't the most important thing.

"So Fitz ditched you and you felt bad enough to go drinking to get drunk by yourself with no one watching for you. How is this even working for you".

"Abby" Alexia warns

Undeterred she continues, "what exactly are you getting out of this relationship? Is it a relationship or a hit and dash?"

"ABBY!" Olivia shouts. "What about what you did with James, stalking him all over town. Did I not support you? Where do you get off judging me?"

"Judging you? Liv get over yourself. Do you know how much shit I have done? You know my secrets and my craziness but you pull me back from the crazy before I fall off the edge. I can't judge you. I am sluttier than you. But I can't watch you go through this without saying something. If this was working for you do you think I'll say a word against it.

Olivia looked to Alexia who just bowed her head, couldn't watch the confrontation but agreeing with it. Olivia looked back to Abby who held her gaze.

"Liv you're frozen in time. You're holding your breath. You're a statue waiting for something that's never going to happen. Living for stolen moments in hotels, you keep telling yourself they all add up to something real, because in your mind they have to, but they don't. They won't. They never will.
Because stolen moments aren't a life. So you have nothing. You have no one".

Olivia gasps but shows no other emotion. The air is electric, maybe because they know this could make or break them. This might drive a wedge between them which cannot be filled again.

"Olivia, what happened to your proposals for a new department. Did you present it? No. You are frozen. This" pointing to Alexia and herself "is not judging you Livvie. This is just loving our brilliant sister and friend who deserves better. If this is what you want we'll still be here for you, with you always. But we can't be silent all the time, you would hate us if we did that".

Everyone stayed silent for what seemed like half an hour but was really a minute and a half.

"So how big was his dick then" Abby asked.

They looked at each other and laughed at the change of subject and its absurdness.

"Have you seen how I walk"

"Oh my god" Alexia squealed. "Tell me more. I miss my husband's dick". Her husband was on a business trip and left 2 days ago".

"Alexia, your husband is away for 3 days! 3 days!"

"Girl, I have needs, when you are used to it daily, 3 days is starvation."

Until they left Olivia, they only covered subjects that made them laugh. Nothing serious came up and their friendship was back on an even keel.

Monday

First thing Olivia did was request an audience with Sally, once she had an appointment on calendar she called her team and told them to prepare for the presentation. Quinn and Harrison sat opposite her at her desk. The proposal they all thought would catapult them into higher management in the company was finally going to get some airtime. They both didn't know what brought this on after a year on the shelf but they were definitely not complaining.

"Guys, we worked on that proposal over a year ago, we need to review and fine-tune it".

"My thoughts exactly. Quinn check the data and bring it up to date, Harrison update the financial projections using the data and I'll research the current rivals, We have a week and then we work on the actual presentation for the 2 days before the appointment. This will mean working late and our day job not suffering".

"This is good Olivia, we might have our own department. We can do this! We are not bitch babies. We can pull all the all-nighters necessary. This is goooooood. Team handshake people".

"Harry, we don't have a team handshake". Quinn answered already getting up to leave.

"We need one" turning to Olivia "we need one" and he left the room closing the door behind.

The door opened again and without looking up Olivia said, "Harrison, I don't need a secret handshake lesson now".

"Secret handshake, how intriguing" came a baritone voice she could never forget.

Her head snapped up to see Fitz standing in her doorway, his deep blue eyes so easily readable for her, drawing her into his pain. She looked away to avoid sinking into his orbs and his world again.

"Can I help you Mr Grant"

"See me in the conference room in 10 and bring the Anderson file".

"Sally would be best to answer your questions" she counters.

"Are you refusing to attend the meeting?". Olivia could see some of the people around her office were now curious and trying to listen.

"I'll see you in 10 minutes".

When she turned up to the meeting, Sally was already there which threw her for a minute but quickly recovered. There were legitimate questions about the project but she able to convince them of her new direction and the reasons. Once Fitz acknowledged it was a good plan, he asked her to ensure Anderson were aware of the new direction to avoid miscommunication.

"Thank you Sally for the excellent work of your department". Getting up to shake her hand as she started to leave. "Ms Pope may I have a quick word". She was trapped, she couldn't say no in front of Sally so she sat back down.

He sat back down and stared at her, his eyes hungrily drinking her in. She looked away until she heard the door shut behind Sally.

"Livvie, I'm sorry. It wasn't planned. I didn't know the date of the play until that morning. I tried to let him down but he so upset. He's only five".

"Fitz I don't want you to choose between your children and I. It shouldn't be that way. I was looking forward to seeing you but it wasn't meant to be". Her gaze held his and she could see his agony.

"I can't do this anymore".

"Don't Livvie" his face contorting into pain she wished to ease. She looked away again before she raced over to him, torn between her need to move forward and her feelings for him.

"I'm frozen Fitz. I live with a box full of hotel cards of all the rooms we have stayed in, you live with your wife and kids. Did you know I had a plan to create a new department here? I didn't bring it forward because I didn't want to you to think I was using our relationship. I really have nothing except sneaking time with you. I am not pursing my career or a relationship. Fitz I am frozen in time and I want to live".

"I love you Livvie. I can't breathe without you. I've been here since early Saturday and I haven't done anything just waiting for you. Watching for you. Calling your phone which was going straight to voicemail. I saw you this morning and everything seemed right again. I can't live without you".

"Fitz" she whispered and walked over to him. She took his hand and planted something in his palm folding his fingers over the object.

"I loved you Fitz but I have to live" and she left, her eyes full of tears.

Fitz opens his hand to find his grandmother's ring, he has to sit down as his legs are too shaky to hold him up. Olivia goes into the ladies' room and locks herself in a stall. She covers her mouth to stifle her cries as her shoulder shakes from her loss.

Across town a few days later

The apartment was cloaked in darkness except for the streetlight teasing in some brightness, just enough to make out the sharp edges of the furniture. It was very quiet apart from the occasional sounds of liquid sloshing in a bottle. Jake cut a lonely figure sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. Even in his slightly inebriated state, he was still the naval officer with his eyes on all exits. He swigged the bottle back to his mouth and drank. Even though it burnt his throat he took a long one. His mind wouldn't stop racing but his thoughts were all jumbled up. He wanted to feel numb and he succeeded everywhere except his mind.

Flashback - Two weeks earlier before he met Olivia

Jake walks into Mike's officer. "You wanted to see me?" Mike was a retired general with a dubious history. He was in charge of a warship during the 1st Iraq War and was the second in command for the war effort in Bosnia. Although it was a peace keeping mission, he meted out justice as he saw fit. He does not believe in any system, as he always says "whoever creates the system owns the system". He doesn't believe there is a level playing field. A cynical and ruthless operator who never found it easy to follow orders of what he called lily-livered politician who never fought a real battle in their lives but always keen to send people children to do their dirty work mostly for their profit. He left the navy to start a defence contracting business and was on track to turnover $500m. He had achieved this by all means necessary. While his private army was the bulk of his work, the smaller and most lucrative work was intelligence. He had spies everywhere through intimidation, blackmail and bribery. And Jake was at the heart of intelligence gathering, a highly trusted member of his inner circle.

"Shut the door and sit down" Mike said without looking up. Jake sat and watched Mike rifling through his desk drawer. At first sight, it is obvious Mike is a military man. In spite of the beer belly straining his shirt, Mike looks very fit and strong. Jake can be patient and is comfortable waiting. He knows the old man plays this games to destabilise people giving him the edge. Mike continues for another 5 minutes and brings out a folder with a smile, tossing across the desk to Jake. He opens and starts looking through. First up is a picture of a young woman, early 20s, blond straight hair staring at the camera.

"New case" Mike stares back, still playing his games.

"Is this guy seriously expecting me to beg for more information" he ponders, so the waiting game continues.

Mike sighs "Everything you need to know about her is in the file. Russian oligarch's daughter, due in New York in one month. We need access to Russian intelligence, this is your way in".

"And the mission?" he asks. He patiently looks through the file for any information to what he is meant to retrieve from the girl but it contains information on her favourite haunts, friends, likes and dislikes.

"Marry her"

"Marry her?" he asks

"Yes, we need direct line into Kremlin. Her father is a close ally of Putin. But that's not the main thing, her brother has been promoted on the FSB. He runs counter-intelligence arm and we need access to that. He talks to his sister every day and she lives with him whenever she's in Moscow. Will that be a problem?" daring him to question is mission.

"No" Jake said getting up. As he opens the door Mike adds, "Charlie is your assist on this mission".

Although he doesn't break his strides, he knew that was the beginning of the end of him in Mike's organisation. Charlie was Mike's watchdog. Wherever Charlie went mayhem followed. If Charlie was his assist, then Mike suspected he was going to be a problem and was ready to eliminate him.

End of flashback

"Maybe I need a shrink" he nearly laughed at that. What exactly could he say to a shrink. The secret missions that made him numb, his early life that he has tried to erase from his memory sometimes he's not sure where reality and fiction starts and ends. If he sought that type of help he would have to kill them after talking. He laughed out loud at that but it sounded more like a growl.

He has tried to forget Olivia but that was proving very difficult. Sometimes he could swear he was hearing her moaning in his ears as he lay in bed. He had to let Angelique go, how could you sleep with someone if all you thought about was someone else. Angelique didn't deserve that and although they were not in a traditional relationship, they had tacitly agreed to be faithful. He knew she wanted more and he had given her the idea he was interested. But that was before Olivia. Everything has changed after Olivia. He wasn't even sure if she had gone back to her lover and whether she was interested beyond that day. However, he could acknowledge the fact that he was interested in her and felt something more for her than he has felt for any woman.

How could he marry someone else even for a job when just the thought of Olivia made him think beyond his job. It made him think of suburbia and kids playing in the back while he sneaked kisses with Olivia around the house. Maybe he was pussy whipped and he didn't even know. She didn't even know it either. He laughed at the ludicrousness of his situation. Thinking of her brought her picture to mind, especially how she looked at him when she was in the throes of their lovemaking. Another bitter laugh escaped his mouth, obviously he wasnt numb all over, another part of his anatomy was leaping in excitement.

Not a cliffhanger but more soon.

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