Elena lounged on the bed in her lingerie, which was surprisingly sexy for a member of the Turks. She watched as Reno slowly unbuttoned his shirt, which he never tucked into his trousers.

He flushed pink. "Okay, I'm gonna reveal my most confidential secret," he announced. "Promise me you won't tell anyone. I don't want this broadcast across Midgar, and I especially don't want Rude to find out. Okay?"

"Agreed," Elena said.

"O-kay then." He whipped off his shirt, and stuck out his chest.

Elena looked impressed. "Whoa! Nice nipple rings," she whispered, adjusting her bra strap. "Can I touch 'em?"

Reno walked over to the bed and reclined next to her. "Baby, you can do whatever you want to me," he whispered sexily.

No sooner had the tip of Elena's fingers brushed against him, his mobile phone began to ring.

"Oh, no!" Reno sighed, rebuckling his belt and walking over to where he dumped his jacket. "I knew I should have turned that off!"

Elena sighed, rolling onto her back and putting her hands behind her head. "Whoever it is, tell them we're busy."

"This better be good," he said crossly into the hand-set.

"Hello, Reno," the President said demurely. "You're not busy, are you?"

"Well yes, I am," Reno snarled, flopping onto the bed next to Elena. "Whaddaya want?"

Rufus put his hand over the mouthpiece. "You're right," he admitted. "He probably is with that Elena."

Scarlet smiled and stroked a finger down Rufus' arm

He sighed. "Guess I owe you something special." He grinned at her and winked.

"Hello?" Reno shouted down the phone. "Why'd you ring me anyway?"

"Hmm? Oh sorry, Reno. I've got a job for you two," Rufus said.

"Two?" Reno asked. "But… there's just me here." He looked over at Elena and smiled.

"Oh shut up, you… smarty-pants," Rufus snapped. "Listen, I want you and Elena to uh… to uh…" He put his hand back over the phone again. "Scarlet, will you stop that?"

Scarlet shyly moved her hand away from between his legs. "Just thought you fancied some executive relief," she purred.

"Yeah, whatever," he mumbled dismissively. "Hello Reno?" he announced back down the phone.

He was convulsing with laughter. "S-sorry, Mr. President," he giggled, "but I heard that."

Rufus blushed bright red and slapped his hand across his forehead. "Forget about that. There are more important matters than my sex li…"

"Whoa," Reno interrupted sarcastically. "He's finally going official. What do you want from u.. uh, I mean… me?"

"This is a mission," Rufus pronounced. "But not just any mission. This is different. It will involve you risking your neck for Shinra."

"My neck, huh?" Reno said thoughtfully. "Don't fancy that." He twisted a hank of hair round his index finger.

"Shut up and listen!" the President snarled. In a calmer voice, he continued, "This is an assassination order of the highest priority…"

"Oh for goodness' sake, Rufus!" Reno interrupted. "I've already tried one, two, three… four times to knock off that spiky-haired Cloud idiot. I'm sick of it. I am not going to try it again!"

Rufus felt a vein in his neck get tight. Was Reno trying to wind him up? "Look here, Reno," he said, angrily. "I've just gotten in bed with the cutest girl on the planet. Don't be spoilin' my night with your jealousy."

Scarlet put her arm around his shoulders and began kissing his neck.

Reno exhaled deeply. "Stop moanin', Rufus!" he sighed. "Just gimme the orders." Elena, unable to resist, reached across and tweaked his right nipple ring.

Rufus cleared his throat. "Okay," he said. "I want you to… dispose of Heidegger."

Reno snickered down the phone. "Whoa, you must really hate him," he said raising his eyebrows. "But isn't he our… I mean MY boss?"

The President flicked back his hair with his free hand. "Not anymore," he decided. "Scarlet has been promoted to that position."

"Oooh, interesting," Reno chipped in. "I get this. You are having sexual relations with Heidegger's babe, right now, as we speak, and you want ME to knock him off so you can have her all to yourself. Am I right or am I right?"

"Well…" Rufus said uncomfortably. "I wouldn't have put it quite like that but… yes. Will you do it?"

Reno grinned to himself, stroking Elena's hand as she played with his nipple. "Okay," he said enthusiastically. "I'll do it. But it'll cost ya."

Rufus sighed. "I hoped it wouldn't come to this," he lamented. "How much?"

"Hmmm…" Reno mused for a second. "No less than… let's say… around the region of… one million gil?"

Rufus snorted. "Huh, don't be ridiculous," he told Reno.

"Ah, well, too bad Mr. Shinra," he sighed. "No Gil… no kill."

Rufus sucked in his breath. "No, Reno… wait," he pleaded. "Don't hang up!"

"So you'll pay me, eh?" Reno asked, cheerfully.

"Yes," Rufus pronounced, reluctantly. "Yes, I will. I shall pay you upon receipt of hard proof of his death."

"Like his heart?" Reno suggested with relish, "dripping with his thick, crimson blood? All clotted and…"

Rufus went pale. "N-no…" he shuddered. "Photographic evidence will be quite sufficient."

"And… the small matter of the monies?" Reno asked, rubbing his fingers and thumb together.

"I can offer you as much as five hundred thou," came the reply.

Reno sucked in his breath. "Sorry," he said. "Reno no like what Reno hear. I got's to go now. There's this foxy lady right here who can't keep her hands off me. 'Bye Mr. Shinra, sir!"

"WAIT!" Rufus exclaimed in a panic.

"Ye-es?" Reno asked, a smile covering his face.

"All right," Rufus said, weakly. "You prove to me that you're really with a woman, and you can have your stupid million."

"Very well, Mr President," Reno agreed. "Hey, Elena, Rufus wants a word with you." He handed the phone to the half-asleep girl dozing at his side.

"Hello, Mr. President," she said huskily. "This is Elena."

"Yeah, hi." Rufus said, flustered and deflated. He had thought Reno had just been faking. "Can I just ask you one thing."

"OK, shoot!"

"Erm…" Rufus still couldn't believe that someone as independent and tough as Elena had gone for someone as simple and as petty as Reno. "I hope you don't mind my asking… what the hell do you see in Reno?"

"Well," Elena said thoughtfully, "he's very handsome… kind, caring, and he's got the greatest sense of humour you could ever wish for. And…"

"That's ENOUGH!" Rufus snapped. "You can pass me back to your fancy man, now."

She handed the phone back to Reno. "So it's settled, then?" he asked. "One million big ones for killing the big one."

"That's right," Rufus said. "Remember, wear gloves and dispose of the body carefully."

"Yeah, yeah," Reno moaned. "Thanks for the advice. I have done stuff like this before."

"I'll be expecting results," the President growled.

"And results you shall get," Reno answered. Quickly, he hung up. "Hah, executive relief," he muttered to himself with a dirty smile.

"Executive what?" Elena asked, yawning, slipping underneath the duvet. She was a little cold and thought these sheets would keep her warm- at least until Reno came to bed.

"I'll tell you later!" he said switching off his mobile. "Don't want this to disturb us at all." He placed it on the bedside table and turned to Elena. "Let's do this thing, then." He loosened his belt buckle.

"Assassinate Heidegger?" Elena asked dimly.

Reno smiled. "Not right now, Sleepyhead," he told her, wriggling out of his trousers. "We've got more important things to do right now." He leaned over and kissed her.

"Wow!" Elena could be heard to say. "I didn't know your… electromag rod… was THAT big!"