Holding Back by Daikeru Insanity
Here comes Chapter 3(2)!
Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!
Again thanks for favouriting, but please also review, I could really use a small detailed idea of how I'm doing with my first fic :S
Things are getting a bit more in depth this chapter, but oh you wait...It kicks off after this :D
Takato the Dreamer: Still love that you take the time to read this, review and listen to me go on and on!
Hehe, oops: I realized that in the Prologue I had his last name as 'Takaishi', then in the next chapter it was 'Takashi' – Not a huge deal but I've edited and now it will just be 'Takaishi'!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still do not own Digimon, any of it's characters or associated works – I am just borrowing characters for my own twisted enjoyment. Although my birthday is a month tomorrow so we'll see if anything changes by then...
Did a MAJOR edit of punctuation, hopefully it's all good now :D
On with Holding Back!
Chapter 2
'Dress To Impress'
(Takeru's POV)
I woke up today and was in a great mood immediately! That doesn't happen very often I should add, as it usually takes until after my morning shower for me to be civil towards anybody. I guess I'm still thinking about Daisuke and how he helped me have a great first day yesterday. He was being so kind, and he didn't have to be either. I wish I could think of a way to let him know how grateful I am, maybe something will hit me when I see him today. Ha, for once school is actually something I'm excited about!
After showering, dressing in a similar style as yesterday, and eating the oatmeal which my brother was kind enough to cook for us, there was a knock upon our door. It was Daisuke, and true to his word, he had come to walk with me to school today.
"Morning Takeru!" He greets, that same infectious grin plastered on his face.
"Hey Daisuke, how are-"
"I thought I told you to call me Dai?" He cuts me off, playfully prodding me in the chest and smirking, so that I realize he isn't actually angry.
"Sorry Dai, I forgot." I admit.
"Well just don't do it again!" He replies with a wink. "So, are you ready to go?"
"Sure am, but before we go..." I trail off as I pull him into a sudden hug. 'Yeah, that was the best I could come up with, shut up.' He isn't pulling away, in fact he's returning the hug, bringing his arms around my torso.
He's probably adequately confused at this point and I should probably explain why I just did that, so as I pull away I say; "Erm, sorry about that. It's just that I wanted to show that I'm really grateful for how nice you've been to me already, even though you barely know me!"
"...My pleasure." Dai mumbles, just loudly enough for me to hear, but as I pass him to begin my journey to school, I don't notice the powerful blush that has struck Dai.
xXxXxXxXx
The school day leading up to lunch was pretty uneventful, but pleasant nonetheless. First class I had was Literature, which is my favourite subject, so I think my teacher automatically liked me. She said I was 'already the most enthusiastic student in the room'. I sat in an empty chair near the front by the left wall, which was luckily right next to Dai, who had Kari on his other side. It was quite funny, since we were studying Shakespeare's Hamlet, and I don't think Dai removed the puzzled expression from his face for the whole lesson, which earned him giggling from Kari and I, and we received ample glaring in return.
My second class was Art, which has never been my strongest area in school. Ken called me over to a seat next to him and I chatted with him for most of the lesson about his soccer team, and my writing projects. We managed to have some laughs too, as - since I knew I wasn't artistically skilled enough to earn a good grade - I wasn't particularly bothered about the assignment so I just let loose with the paint, producing a wide array of unidentifiable objects, which caused Ken to grin and chuckle alongside myself.
Before I can strike up a new conversation, the bell rings and it's lunch time, and Ken is leading me through the loud rabble of hungry teenagers so that we can get our...erm, 'food'. I expect to be led to the same table which we sat at yesterday, but instead I'm taken to a much larger table in the center of the room, which was because three members have joined us who weren't there yesterday. Ken and I take a seat at the end of the table, and Dai gives me a warm smile, which I return as I join the group. It was then I notice that the older, blond boy who was sitting with us was in fact Matt.
"Hey Matt, funny how we both ended up with the same group of friends eh?" A chuckle accompanies the comment and Matt smirks back at me before replying.
"I'm just here to make sure you don't get in any trouble." He winks at me and I just roll my eyes. The tanned, older boy sitting opposite Matt is giving both me and him a confused stare. He has big, brown eyes, to accompany the huge bush of brown hair on his head. This must be Matt's friend that he told me about yesterday.
"Oh of course, there are some new faces to you here aren't there Takeru?" The redheaded girl Sora exclaims, obviously noticing the confused Tai. "Well this is Taichi Kamiya, captain of our school's soccer team! And sitting next to him is Koushiro Izumi, our own personal computer expert. Guys, this is Takeru Takaishi" Sora indicates the two older boys on the other side of the table. Koushiro has red, slightly spiked hair and wears a green shirt and dark jeans while Taichi has light jeans and an even lighter blue t-shirt.
"Oh, you must be Yamato's little bro'? Call me Tai, nice to meet you man." Tai offers his hand to shake, which I accept, as well as exchanging smiles.
"It'll be nice to have another addition to our group. I don't have any special names to go by, so Koushiro will do." Koushiro also offers me his hand, which I shake.
"Well Tai and Koushiro, it's great to meet you both! And yeah, I'm already glad that I sat myself with this group yesterday." I reply, as I smile at everyone on the table from yesterday.
For a while, the atmosphere of the table was filled with small chat, no significant conversations taking place. That was until Miyako seemed to remember something important, and started to physically vibrate with excitement. 'Note to self: Never, ever give this girl sugar.'
"So guys, are you all going to Mimi's party next month?" Her grin will sever her ears if she isn't careful...
"Damn right! It's only gonna be one of the hottest parties of the year!" Dai yells in enthusiasm. Everyone else at the table is nodding in agreement and talking excitedly about what the night could be like. Daisuke obviously notices that I am the only one not responding, and it appears he has no intention of letting that slip.
"What about you 'Keru?" 'Huh? Well I don't think I even want to go. Wait one second...what did he call me? 'Keru'? Hmm, I kinda like that nick name actually, even if it gives me this weird fluttering in my stomach, but the way he said it was actually kind of cute. Damn it! That's the second thing he's done in 24 hours which I've found cute. Ok, I'm not listening to any more of my brothers sappy love songs, they're clearly having a girly influence on me.' Oh, I still need to answer don't I? Crap.
"Hmm, I dunno. I got invited but I don't really know anyone here yet other than you guys." As I start the reply he seems to be overcome with relief. I can't explain why, other than he was maybe worried that I'd respond badly to the nick name? Either way, I give my answer, hoping that Dai won't push the issue. 'Yeah, like you're that lucky!' But the next comment isn't actually his.
"Well what better way to get to meet people and make new friends?" Sora adds, giving such an innocent, friendly smile that I can't even be mad at her for giving Dai ammo for his argument.
"Exactly! How about it then? It'll be fun, I promise!" He pleads at me with an obviously well practiced 'puppy dog' look. Gah, I'm finding it hard to resist, and I know that my resolve, along with my excuses are rapidly crumbling.
"Well eh..." I start, when I suddenly remember a conversation I had with the pink-haired party host. "Oh! Mimi was telling me where her house was, if I decided to show up. It seems a hell of a way from my house, and I don't really like the thought of walking all the way home at god-knows what time in the morning!" 'Phew, hopefully that one saved me!'
"Not a problem, you can always stay over at my place! It's not like we have school the next day, since it's on a Saturday." 'Crap. This isn't working. And his pleading tone doesn't help, I can't resist him like this. Ugh!'
"Won't your mum mind? I wouldn't want to impose." I obviously sound desperate, as Dai begins to smirk, knowing that he's winning.
"Nah, she loves when I have friends over. As for being an imposition, don't be an idiot 'Keru! I'm inviting you, so I obviously want you there." He just smiles warmly at me, and everyone else at the table is looking at me by this point, as if our conversation was a high speed police chase on TV. I'm out of excuses too...'Ah to hell with it...'
"Well...Fine! Guess I don't have any reasonable way left to get out of this do I?" Dai's beaming in his victory, and everyone else is just chuckling at how flustered I've become.
"Nope!" He stares at me and smirks.
"I hate you right now. I hope you know that, Dai." I reply as I stick my tongue out at him in a proudly juvenile manner. This just eggs him on, and he winks and smiles back at me.
"Love you too, 'Keru."
At this point I just put on a mock pout and look away from him as he continues to torment me. While I was engrossed in trying to escape this party, I didn't notice that Tai was watching my whole argument with Dai with intense interest. At some point during Dai's coercion, he turned to Koushiro and whispered;
"Cute little lovers spat there eh?" Koushiro held back a chuckle and just smiled while he turned towards his best friend.
"Think they like each other? Daisuke certainly seems to have taken an interest in his new blond friend."
"Oh Dai definitely likes him, he just probably won't admit it, not even to himself. I don't know about 'Keru' over there but I guess time will tell." Tai retorted, not even bothering to hold back his laughter at the pet name, and the two of the boys returned to conversation with their other friends.
I'm almost done eating lunch when a sudden realization hits me.
"Hold on! I haven't really got any nice party-appropriate clothes to wear. Most of my stuff is along the lines of what I'm wearing now, shorts and t-shirts."
"Oh no – you don't get out that easy my friend! The party isn't until next month! I'll just have to drag you to the mall and help find something for you. Could probably do with some new clothes for myself too." Apparently, his stubbornness wasn't all used up in our previous rally.
I groan in protest, but obviously Tai heard our discussion as he chimes in;
"Hey, Yamato and I were gonna go the mall after school today. I'm taking this week to show him round the school and Odaiba, bit by bit. You guys wanna come with us?"
At this point, I would have found some sort of excuse to get out of this, but Dai had other ideas. "Sure! It'll be fun, with the four of us. 'Keru and I have Algebra last thing, so we'll both meet you at the front gates?"
"Great! See you guys then." Tai replies, as he gets up, motioning for Matt to follow him. Good timing too, as the bell screamed at us just after Tai finished speaking. Our group breaks up, all heading to our individual classes. Just before I leave for Music, I make sure to stick my tongue out at Daisuke one final time, earning a smirk in return, and an echoing laughter as he heads in the opposite direction towards Geography.
xXxXxXxXx
(Daisuke's POV)
'Well that was an interesting lunch period' I think, smirking inwardly. God, it was too much fun, getting 'Keru all worked up like that. I'm also glad he didn't seem to mind that name, though I do need to control myself around him. I used the name because I thought it was cute, and his expression when he was pretending to be in a huff was just adorable. Stop acting like this Daisuke! He's straight, so it's pointless. Plus, you know you're not after a relationship just now. Hmm, Daniel thinks I should just forget about...him. Hmph! Easier said than done...Never mind those thoughts just now. The bell just rang, and that was last period. Shopping time!
I laugh out loud at the girly voice I put on in my mind for that last thought, and quickly dash out of the room, dragging a rather confused Takeru with me.
xXxXxXxXx
(Takeru's POV)
Dai's random outburst of laughter aside...The last two classes went by with nothing interesting happening, and as arranged, we met Tai and Matt in front of the school, just outside the gates. After initial greetings, we made our journey towards 'Odaiba Mall'. The Mall was only about ten minutes away by foot, but as we arrive, I find myself surprised that we didn't see the building from school. This place is huge! The monstrous sized building is painted completely blue on the outside, and stands at about three stories tall. 'God I hope Dai has a shop in mind, or else we could still be shopping by Christmas!' I muse to myself and follow the other three boys into Odaiba's shopping center.
xXxXxXxXx
For the first fifteen minutes of our exploration, I had completely forgotten our reason for being here, as I was too busy gaping at my surroundings. Matt and I were simply amazed by the size of Odaiba Mall. There was nothing anywhere near this big back in Tokushima! I would have commented aloud but it seems both Tai and Dai have found appealing clothes shops, and before I can speak I'm being dragged towards one of them by Dai, while Matt is being led in the opposite direction by Tai. I catch a glimpse of Matt's face, he's wearing an expression which practically shouts 'Help me!'. 'You're on your own Matt, I have my own nightmare to deal with..'
(Daisuke's POV)
We must have spent another fifteen minutes searching for decent clothes for the party. After I explained that the 'dress code', as he called it, was smart yet casual, he reluctantly began looking through rails of shirts and jeans. 'If he just loosened up, things would go much smoother'. I found myself chuckling at 'Keru's continuous resistance. Once we had both found what we believed to be a good outfit, we found ourselves standing outside the only available changing cubicle.
Takeru motions with his hands towards the cubicle.
"Ladies first." I give him a mock glare and enter. I take a couple of minutes to get fully changed before I stand in front of the mirror and examine myself. I chose a burgundy coloured shirt to match my hair, and it is accompanied by a pair of formal black trousers. 'Hmm, this seems far more smart than casual...Ah! I'll roll my sleeves up, perfect! Time to see what Takeru thinks.'
(Takeru's POV)
He's taking a rather long time just to get changed...Oh wait, here he comes. Dai emerges from the cubicle, and turns himself slowly, so that I get a full look at the outfit, then turns back to me with a look that I read as him asking 'Well?'.
'Woah, that's Dai? What a transformation! He looks...really good actually. Crap, the fluttering in my stomach has started up again. Why does that keep happening to me? I can't explain it! Oh, Dai seems quite nervous and is obviously looking for my opinion, so I guess I better stop gawking...'
"You look great Dai!" I tell him, as I finally find words. Dai seems to be relieved, but also...is he blushing? No, he couldn't be.
"He he, thanks, I was hoping you'd say that..." He trails off, hand clasping the back of his neck as he laughs, obviously feeling awkward at my compliment, or his reaction to it...I can never tell with this guy. "Your turn, 'Keru!" He informs me, gently pushing me into the cubicle, clearly hoping to end conversation.
'What was up with that?' I ponder to myself before beginning to change into my own chosen outfit.
(Daisuke's POV)
'Gods, that was smooth Daisuke. I could always blame my blush on the stuffy cubicle...Nah Takeru would see right through that. I wish he meant that I looked great but not just in the outfit. Not likely. I don't deserve him anyway, I couldn't see him hurt, I'll at least learn from my mistakes. Speak of the devil, here he comes.'
After about a minute of changing, Takeru emerges from behind the curtain to reveal himself looking rather...erm, sexy. He's wearing a long sleeved, black shirt which goes rather well with the pair of dark jeans he selected. The darkness of his outfit just helps to amplify the shine of his beautiful golden hair, and his strong cerulean eyes stick out like a sore thumb. 'A sore thumb which you could happily spend all day staring at, I should add.' Meeting his two items of clothing in the middle is a shiny silver belt which he found, and it completes the set.
I find myself rather speechless looking at the stunning blonde in front of me, and I'm pretty certain that a shopper on the floor below just got hit by my jaw. Takeru obviously took my look the wrong way as he screws his face up at me. "Is it really that bad?". This brings me back to my senses, and I'm quick to correct him.
"No no no! You look...amazing, 'Keru." I just know I'm blushing, but so is he right now.
"Really?" He asks me nervously. 'I swear by now that Takeru has examined every shade of red available at the Daisuke Paint Store!' "Y-yeah, seriously." I manage to stammer out. His red only intensifies as we delve further into, what I'm quite sure is our very awkward conversation. "Thanks Dai." Another cubicle has become available by now, so I just smile at Takeru before claiming it as my own and changing again.
xXxXxXxXx
(Takeru's POV)
Much to my surprise, I actually make it out of that clothes store alive. Although I can't help but think to myself; 'Dai seemed really flustered when telling me I looked amazing. Why would that be? He was just telling me that my outfit was good...unless...no way. He couldn't have meant that it was me that looked good, as opposed to the outfit?'
'Why the hell not? He is bi after all...' Oh great, I'm having an argument with myself. At least the voices aren't telling me to burn things...
'Well...yeah, but we're friends, and I'm straight right?' Hmm, good point.
'You have to ask if you're straight? Plus, last time I checked, your sexuality had nothing to do with how you look. Loads of girls back in Tokushima thought you were hot, who's to say that a certain guy in Odaiba doesn't agree?'
I think I finally understand why Van Gogh tore his ear off...Fortunately I manage to shut up the pair of voices for the time being as Tai and Matt are heading our way. 'Better not think about things just now, cause Matt will see that I'm spacing out, and I really don't want to explain all of this to him.'
As the four of us reunite, we begin to continue our trek through the mall which I'm convinced was built with the ancient Labyrinth in mind...though having shopping-obsessed teenage girls run around instead of a minotaur probably produces an even greater danger...
We enter the food court within a matter of minutes, music blaring from loudspeakers clear as day. Though there is one thought from earlier still at the fore-front of my mind: 'Did I just question my own sexuality?'
xXxXxXxXx
(Daisuke's POV)
Having been given food orders, Tai and I take a short trip to the pizza place in the food court to grab the grub and it isn't long before it's our turn to order. I'll probably have to yell so that my order is heard loud and clear over the sound of the music in the background:
Cause it's 4am and the sweat sets in,
Did you get my message, did it send?
Or did you just get on with your life?
"Hi there, can I get a slice of pepperoni and a-" I'm cut off by myself suddenly realizing the song being played. I can almost feel my blood run cold.
I'm taking time to thinking, I,
Don't think it's fair for us to turn around and say goodbye
The music isn't what floors me, it's the lyrics. It's almost as if this song was written as a painful reminder, as a nightmare to taunt me. My memory involuntarily returns to my old town, my old friends...and Archie. I feel myself weaken both physically and emotionally at the mere thought of my former love. A few moments have passed since I stopped talking, and Tai has his hand on my shoulder now.
"Dai, you alright man? Did you forget the order? Don't worry about it, can he also get a slice with ham on please?" Tai completes my order, oblivious to my current mental state, yet the music continues and it's the only thing I hear.
I have this feeling when,
I finally found the words to say,
But I can't tell you if you turn around
And run away, run away.
Hearing the words 'run away' causes the pain in my heart to peak, and it's then that I totally lose control of my emotions. I excuse myself to the bathroom and promptly leave the pizza shop. Tai clearly noticed the tears flowing mercilessly from my eyes since no sooner than I turn on the tap to run cold water, I see his big bushy hair in the corner of my eye. All it takes is one look at my face and Tai is next to me in a nano-second, arms round my shoulders, pulling me into a comforting hug.
"Dai, what's wrong? What happened?" Tai has his tone set to 'concerned big-brother figure' and I don't even have the mental strength left to lie and put on a brave front...'Though by this point he might not believe me saying that everything's fine.'
"I-it's that s-song." I stutter, voice trembling to hell – I'm putting all my willpower into stopping the tears at the moment.
I can see the wheels turn in Tai's head as he listens for the song still playing in the distance. "Huh, Runaway? Surely you can't dislike Maroon 5 that much?" He jokes, but one glare of anger mixed with pain from me later and he's apologizing profusely. Feeling that my tears have stopped for the time being, I put more focus into maintaining a calm voice.
"It's the lyrics...they really hit home, and bring rather painful memories to the surface. Stuff from before I came here..." I admit to him, and I just hope he doesn't push the matter further. Unfortunately Tai is even more stubborn than me, and he won't stop until he knows everything. I can't even be annoyed with him, cause I know he just wants to help, and for me to be happy.
Tai eases his hold on me, and puts enough distance between us so that he can look into my dampened eyes. "What happened, Dai? What has you so depressed?" A concerned look dominates his usually cheery demeanor.
"It doesn't matter Tai, I'll deal with it and be ok."
"Wrong answer. Don't feed me bullshit Dai, you just burst out in tears over song lyrics! This is obviously not something which you'll just 'deal with'!" He comes across as angry, but I know that's just how he sounds when worried. I know I'm gonna cave, but if I go into it all here other customers, or worse, Takeru or Yamato could walk in and see me in my state.
"Not now. Not here." I say sternly so that Tai understands this isn't negotiable. His expression softens, and he seems to respect my request.
"Ok, I'll give you some time." 'God bless you, Taichi Kamiya.' I'm relieved that he's dropping the subject, cause I just don't think I would maintain enough composure to tell the story right now.
"But soon. As for now, give your face a wash and get out of here while I go tell Takeru and Yamato that you were feeling really ill, threw up and left. I'll then walk them home."
"Thanks Tai, you're a true friend, better than I deserve." In a blink of an eye later, I feel his tanned hand half-heartedly collide with the back of my head.
"Don't put yourself down, Dai! You're a great guy, don't let your insecurities get the better of you. I'll see you at school tomorrow." With that he left to see to the blond brothers who would no doubt be waiting rather impatiently for their food by now. I proceed to wash my face and try to return to normal, Tai's final command replaying in my mind:
'Don't let your insecurities get the better of you'
'If you only knew the half of it, Tai...'
xXxXxXxXx
TBC
A/N:
"I wish I could think of a way to let him know how grateful I am" - I can't be the only one cruisin' in the gutter just now?
Hmm, things are starting to get interesting...I hope.
What's this, T.K. questioning his sexuality? Why is Dai in so much pain, and what do the lyrics of Runaway (Which I would like to point out that I DO NOT OWN, I am merely borrowing it from the gods that make up Maroon 5) have to do with it? Why is Dai resisting his feelings?
Hmm, I probably won't even tell you...Just kidding, I'm not that mean xD
I think I finally have a firm grip of tenses! My only note is that the character is sometimes looking over events before proceeding in the present but it's hopefully pretty clear cut :D
Planned Tense Changes: T.K. at his door; lunch time; Dai at cubicles (Tell me if there were others as they weren't planned...)
I love writing from T.K.'s POV, can you tell? I'm enjoying his sense of humor, hope you enjoyed his (my) witty comments :P His pizza, plain cheese with just ham on? That's my favourite xD
Oh, and I realize my apostrophes are kinda all over the place...But some of them I put where I think they belong, and it just looks stupid. But I assume you're all intelligent enough to not be fazed by my stupidity and realize when there is a letter missing or when I talk about something belonging to a character.
So anyway, that's chapter 3(2) done now! If anyone is actually reading my fic, please review as this is my first, and I really need to know how I'm doing! Things will get interesting in the next chapter, and hopefully the story will live up to it's 'Drama' category :)
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