Holding Back

by Daikeru Insanity

Takeru and Yamato move to Odaiba for their Dads' job. Takeru meets Daisuke and as their friendship grows, Takeru begins to feel strange feelings, but there is something holding back what could be a beautiful relationship - what could it be? Boy x boy

9. What About Now?

Holding Back by Daikeru Insanity

Here comes Chapter 8(9)!

Yaoi, boyxboy, blah blah blah, don't like? Don't read!

Holy mother of lord...I'm ashamed that I've let you guys down and waited so long to actually put in this chapter, which is only the final chapter that pulls together everything that's happened! I apologize to all of you that have been actually waiting for this (despite the fact that I still don't find my writing any good) and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint, even though it'll be all fluffy and seriously predictable...Well hush, I like fluff. There'll probably be unsubtle changes in my writing style, and I think this chapter will be a fair bit shorter, despite all the things that happen in it, which is kinda sucky...

As a side note, I've had other ideas stashed away for Digimon fics which I'm really interested in trying to write, but lately I've been wanting to try and write Pokemon fics (My sudden surge in interest in Pokemon is what has really stopped me writing lately) so I was hoping if you actually read this, you could maybe drop me a message and let me know what you think?

Enough of that though, Reviewers!

Takato the Dreamer: Thanks, I just hope you like this next one :S

lgaz123: I am SO sorry for this wait, I lost inspiration at the completely wrong point -.- Well you can certainly trust me to provide fluff where fluff is due!

LuPaPeSe: Hey guest :D Your kind words are too much, really – I'm not deserving since I made you wait so long :( :P I couldn't possibly tell you what music to hear, whatever seems more fitting for my crappy writing :P

TKViedarts: I always look forward to your reviews and now I'm sad cause I feel terrible for leaving this so long and I don't want it to not live up to expectations :/ I'll see what I can do though!

Koumi-Locc: Thanks for the kind words as usual!

SolR: Haha, thanks so much! Yeah, I like there to be a lot of drama too, if you haven't already noticed :P I know it's taken me forever to do this chapter but hopefully it won't disappoint :/

MissVoiceLess: Thanks :D I'll assume you like this story then :P And aww, sorry about that girl

Mikey: Oh wow, that's a great compliment to get, thank you! Yeah, I was a bit apprehensive about a complete shift from the series but people thankfully don't seem to think it's a travesty! Not sure what this chapter will be like though.

funni neko: Thanks! Well here you go, apologies for the wait!

Guest: Sorry for keeping you in suspense, though I'm sure you could predict the result!

KouhakuKudo: I just kinda lost inspiration but here we are, I finished!

yolanda: Well steady haha, I barely even like it, but I'm glad you enjoy it!

digimon yugioh pokemon lover: Your words are faaaar too kind, thank you! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope...Still own nothing in this story, simply borrowing.

On with the final chapter!

Chapter 8

'What About Now?'

(Takeru's POV)

'This is just great...mere days to go, and I'm just sitting here amongst the hordes of crumpled up paper, each attempt proving worse than its predecessor.'

As I gaze across my wasted effort, I feel as if I'm being mocked in the silence, the urge to just give up and throw in the towel ever increasing.

'What am I doing? I don't even know how I should be going about this and there isn't exactly much time to lose! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...'

With a final sigh of surrender, I allow my head to drop to my hands, defeated in both body and soul. Only a short moment passes before I hear the familiar chuckling of the other blond teen present. I weakly greet him, without ever lifting my head; "Hey there, Matt."

"How's it going, little bro? Hit a stumbling block?" My greeting is accompanied by an annoyingly sarcastic grin.

'Does he have to be this happy all the time?' "I guess you could say that, I'm just not sure this is worth the trouble anymore. It was a stupid idea to begin with, I don't even know why we thought it would work!"

"You don't really want to give up though, do you? You'd just prefer everything all nicely wrapped up in front of you, right?" Silence was the only answer that my brother required as he starts one of his famous monologues;

"Right. Nothing in this world worth having ever came easy, Takeru. You give up now, and I know you'll never forgive yourself. I know that it's scary, and it's hard to bare your soul to the one person you don't want to appear vulnerable to, but if you really want to be with Dai, then you'll just have to search yourself and figure out what's important! That's when the words will come. He doesn't need to be singing along and dancing, he just has to understand."

Everything that Matt said had taken a couple of minutes to sink in, yet instead of feeling reassured, all new worries spring to the surface, threatening to set me back even further.

"Yeah, but what if my words just make me come across as some cheesy, blubbering idiot?" Hearing the obvious panic in my voice, my brother dons the most serene tone he can muster, and gently smiles as he speaks to me;

"It won't matter if they do. The words themselves don't actually really matter, so as long as they're sincere." With that, Matt flashes me one last smile before leaving me to my own thoughts.

It doesn't take very long before I'm smiling too, realising now that my panic was for naught and that if I just relax, I'll be able to say the words that matter most. 'I want to be with Dai more than anything, and if I have to stay here another 12 hours, trying to put my feelings onto paper in order to win him over, then so be it!' And so, with new found inspiration, I dive into a new sheet of paper, finally becoming less critical about the actual words, but instead the emotion behind them. 'I'm no longer doing this because I should, because my brother thinks it's a good idea. I'm not doing this because I can, or want to. It's because I have to – no matter how this turns out, I have to get these words out in the open at last.'

xXxXxXxXx

(Daisuke's POV)

I'm not entirely sure what hit my bed first once I got home, whether it was my suitcase, or me. The past week out in the country had been exhausting, what with all the climbing, running and hiking I had done. 'Of course none of that was as exhausting as dodging Jun's constant prying...'. The physical labour wasn't done for any fitness purpose, but simply to try and keep my head clear, and avoid thinking about the can of worms still open here in Odaiba.

Guess what? That plan didn't work.

A week had passed, and everything was still the same, my misery included. My little vacation hadn't helped in the slightest to make me feel any better. In fact if anything, I only pined for my 'Keru more. 'Not that I have any right to call him mine.'

As if by routine action, I reach underneath the bed to retrieve my cell phone, having been detached from it for too long. Once I graze the device's cold, metal exterior however, I wince, suddenly recalling why I had left it here in the first place. Pushing past said realization, I turn the phone on to be greeted with a long list of missed calls and messages, half from – a probably frantic – Tai. Several of my missed calls came from Takeru however. I rush to check my voicemail, in the hopes that he left a message, explaining his reason for calling. No such luck.

'He called me five times within the space of ten minutes; I wonder what was so urgent to him at that particular moment? *Sigh* He was probably gonna demand some explanation for what he saw with Archie. Either that or he might have just wanted to call and scream at me, never wanting anything to do with me again. That's about as much as I deserve for how I've treated him.'

I find my phone screen displaying Takeru's contact, my thumb hovering just above the call button. I want nothing more than to talk to him, to explain myself and get everything out in the open. Would he even listen to me? Or would I just end up even deeper in this hopeless pit of pain? My dark thoughts don't get much time to brew however, as I'm swiftly interrupted by a shrill ringing in my hand. My heart stops for a moment; until Tai's goofy expression is shown with the Caller ID. 'It's a relief really; talking to someone perpetually cheery like him could do me a world of good.'

"Hey Tai! How's it going?"

"Don't you 'Hey Tai!' me, Motomiya! Where the hell have you been the past week?!" 'Like I said, cheery.' Tai's furious tone bellows across the device as he rants.

Despite being the lovable oaf of our group, who would give the shirt of his back to anyone in need, when Tai gets angry, he gets angry. And given his current tone, plus the drop of my last name, I would imagine he's a tad miffed just now. I probably should have seen this coming, since Tai really doesn't like it when his friends hide stuff from him. 'I suppose that's fair.' I feel quite guilty actually, since he's always been there for me and has never judged me either. I'm not sure exactly how long passes before his ranting ends, but when it does I feel thoroughly ashamed of myself.

"I..I'm sorry, Tai. I never wanted to hide it from you, but I just couldn't stay in Odaiba. Everything going on was just stockpiling, and becoming too much to handle. I just needed out. I'm sorry if I had you worried, and I should have told you before I left, you've always been there for me. I was selfish." I plead to Tai, regret saturating my whole body.

"No, what you should have done was face your problems instead of running away from them, but that's not the point right now. Apology accepted." 'I'm thankful for that at least. That could have been a more painful confrontation.'

"On one, small condition." Tai adds, just as I thought I was free and clear. "It's simple, and it requires almost no effort on your part." He continues, not reassuring me in the slightest. I can almost hear his smile, and if I didn't know better, I'd think he could smell my fear through the phone.

'I know I'm going to regret asking this but...' "Erm, I guess that's the least I can do. What do you need?" I query, suspicion lacing each word.

"All I want you to do is keep me company while I'm out Friday night. Turns out Matt's busy but I'll be damned if I'm cancelling my plans because of it!" Tai's cheery demeanour returns as he senses his victory closing in.

Cheery, but devious. However I'm not exactly in any position to refuse.

"Alright, I think I can handle that. Where are we going?" 'Might as well know what I've signed on for...'

"Oh, don't you worry about that! You just make sure you're ready at 7 o'clock Friday night and I'll be there to pick you up!" Tai dodges expertly, obviously willing to divulge no details about his plans. Begrudgingly, I agree to his demands and say goodbye, left to wonder exactly what the soccer player has in store for me on Friday.

xXxXxXxXx

(Takeru's POV)

I practically throw myself off of the step, not at all pleased with that latest attempt. It was a total embarrassment, and I feel bad for my brother, having to put up with it.

"That was awful!" I exclaim in despair, hurling my papers to the ground. My brother presents me with a rather unreadable expression.

"Well...yeah." Despite admitting it myself, I still glare at Matt for agreeing with me. I don't understand why it was awful, and that just makes it even worse. "Look, it's not that you're actually bad, it's just that you're not putting all you've got into this. This performance is the cornerstone of your plan, and for something that's had such a traumatic and emotional build up, I felt nothing while you were practicing. If anything, I think we should at least have something to show for our efforts on Friday."

'It's not like I'm not trying to show how I'm feeling, but it's just a lot harder than I thought it would be. I know Matt's just trying to help though, so getting frustrated isn't going to do any of us any good.'

"The way I see it, you need to go home, and really think about how much this means to you. What do you want this performance to say to Dai? That's what you have to dig deep and focus on, otherwise: how are you ever gonna convince him of how you feel if you can't even convince me?" My brother lays his arm on mine as he talks, ensuring I really take in his words.

'I guess that makes sense, I've not been able to really concentrate on anything since this whole fiasco started. But I'm gonna have to try now.'

"You're right, of course...It's just that everything inside my head has been going at 100 miles an hour and I can't seem to get a stable hold on anything." I slump down on a nearby stool, physically drained from my emotional mess. Sympathetically smiling at me, Matt kneels down to get at eye level, and talks once more;

"I know. You're just gonna have to try and force out all these conflicting thoughts. If you can just focus on Dai, then all of these other distractions should just melt away. Go on then, let's have another go!" Matt tops his speech with some much needed enthusiasm and heads off to prepare for another practice.

"Ok, I'll be right there!"

A small smile of knowing spreads across my face as I rise from the stool, because despite my brother's good advice and kind words, he's half wrong. 'Yes, I do have to understand why I'm doing this, and I need to convince Dai of my feelings, but clearing my mind, and focusing on the performance is of no use to me. I know that as soon as I see Dai's face, my legs will turn to jelly and all that I thought was set in stone will disintegrate.'

"Ever since the day I met you, Daisuke, you've changed everything I know, and there's never been any consistency. I've mumbled and staggered my way through our friendship. I just hope I can mumble my way though this." I whisper to myself, and to Dai, wherever he may be as I head back over to my brother.

xXxXxXxXx

(Yamato's POV)

"Ok, since we're ready, you just get prepared and I'll be back along in a minute, ok bro?" I ask, to which Takeru simply nods in response.

I head out of the room and round the corner, pull my cell phone out of my pocket and hit 'contacts'. Once I had found my boyfriend's icon, I hit call straight away, and a few moments later, I hear that angelic voice that makes me instantly grin.

"Hey, Yama!" I can't help but blush at that pet name every time...

"Hey there, Tai. Status report on Daisuke?" I ask, eager to ensure that the plan is on track.

"All systems are go, Captain!" I chuckle gently down the phone, unable to resist his child-like energy. "Guess it's all up to Takeru now, do you think he can handle it?"

"I was just talking to him, and to be honest...I don't know. I can give him all the advice in the world, but at the end of the day, if this is what he really wants, he's gonna have to find his own way of getting there."

xXxXxXxXx

(Daisuke's POV)

Having survived the many visits and rants from my friends in the last few days, it's finally Friday night. I've still no idea what it is that Tai has planned for me. All I do know is that it's important enough for him to turn up at my place two hours early, just to make sure I didn't try to sneak away...

Following Tai's ruthless commands, I had a shower after he arrived, put on some clean, nice clothes and followed him down to his car, which I am now currently sitting in.

Odaiba is lit up like a Christmas tree as we travel it's winding, extremely busy roads on this cool night. 'Well, wherever Tai's taking us, it looks like we won't be the only ones there.'

After about fifteen minutes of driving (in total silence, I might add.), we finally arrive at...'the Odaiba Arena? Nope, I'm stumped.' Lights are blaring in all directions from the city's stadium, and a huge crowd of people are gathered at the front doors. It isn't until Tai starts to turn for the parking lot that I can get a good enough look at the advertisement posters along the wall of the arena. I didn't get a long look, but I had long enough to clearly identify Yamato and his band.

Tai's brought me to their concert!

As Tai parks the car, he flashes me a quick glance, a nervous smile settling on his face having figured out that I'm fully aware of his plan. 'He brought me to this concert, knowing full well Takeru would be here supporting his brother. Crap.'

"Damnit, Tai! I thought I'd made this clear, I'm not ready to deal with this yet, it's all still too soon, he's not gonna want anything to do with me." I plead and protest to my idol, despite knowing full well that my labour will bear no fruit.

"Well, I'm no longer giving you the option to run away. In case you haven't noticed, this can of worms has hit all of us. We're all seriously worried about you two; Miyako, Sora, Koushiro, hell even Ken called me the other day all concerned. The point is: nobody is happy with this going on, but least of all you and Takeru. You need to fix this mess before it's too late." Tai gives his whole speech with his hand firmly gripping my shoulder, and his no-nonsense stare locked with my less-than-comfortable one.

'It's not like I can argue with that, I guess. Suppose I'm just gonna have to get 'Keru after the concert and try as best I can to explain myself...god I hope I don't lose him.'

"Fine...let's go, before I change my mind."

xXxXxXxXx

(Taichi's POV)

'Wow, that could have been a lot more difficult, but at least I've got Dai in the arena, there's something to be thankful for. Just gotta hope now that Matt and Takeru pull off their part.'

The inner arena is almost vibrating with all the noise being made, 'from just the crowd as well...'. We're now trying to scramble our way through the audience towards the front row, where the VIP section is, but with all these screaming fangirls (and boys too...), it is not easy. I can't help but notice that they're all proudly parading merchandise of Yama's band, The Teenage Wolves.

'He's not done badly tonight, for an Odaiba newcomer...' Normally, I'd be all giddy with pride at this sight, knowing that everyone here is fawning over my boyfriend! Now is not the time however, as every morsel of my energy is focused on getting the spiky haired soccer player in front of me to his seat, and keeping him there.

After practically crowd surfing down to the front, we finally reach our front row seats, and I direct Daisuke to his seat in between me and Sora. The whole group was invited to Matt's first concert, so at least I have some reinforcements if needed.

About five minutes before the concert was scheduled to begin, Dai starts shuffling in his seat;

"Oh, erm...I think I left my wallet back in your car, I'll be back in just a minute!" he stammers as he begins to stand up, only for me to grab him and instantly anchor him down again.

"Sit, or die." With a sudden gulp, Dai slinks back in his chair and shows no signs of trying any other escape tactics.

'I'll never understand why he's scared of me...I once sent myself to the emergency room trying to make a sandwich...Nevertheless, I can understand his hesitance, but it won't be long now, Dai.'

xXxXxXxXx

(Takeru's POV)

I'm pacing back and forth backstage, trying to carefully balance my energy between stopping myself from throwing up, or flooding the entire arena in sweat. As may be obvious, I'm a tad stressed at this point. We're mere moments away from the 'make or break' point and I don't think any amount of coaxing from my brother could calm me down now. On the positive side though, I'm at least now sure that this is something I have to do, regardless of how terrified I am to do it!

I stare around at all the technicians and musicians preparing for the upcoming show, trying desperately to focus my attention on something besides my plan, which begins to look less and less likely to work by the minute. Before I get close to breaking down and screaming, I'm jolted from my thoughts by Matt's hand clapping down on my shoulder;

"Well, we're just about ready to go on now; we should be introduced in just a minute. Alright, final check, are you really sure you want to go through with this...? I know I've hounded you about it ever since you came up with the idea but I know this is a scary thing to do, and there's no shame in wanting to back out now?" He queries, a worried frown dominating his features.

"Erm, no I'd rather not go through with this. But I know I have to, otherwise, what's the alternative?" I reply as assertively as I can manage. 'I'm not gonna risk losing Dai forever, as a friend or anything else. Matt's done so much for me and put in a ridiculous amount of his time, but would still throw it all away to protect me from any more pain. He's amazing.' "Don't worry; it'll all be over in a few minutes! Just do me one more favour tonight Matt?"

"Of course, anything! What do you need?" He replies worriedly.

"Just try and catch me if I faint or something!" I laugh and wink at my brother in response. Before he can come back with some sarcastic response, we hear the boom of the loudspeakers signalling that it's time for the night's entertainment to begin.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Odaiba arena! Without any further ado, allow me to introduce your hosts for this evening! They've taken the city by storm, and are here tonight for your listening pleasure, to promote their upcoming album. Please give a warm welcome to Yamato Ishida and the other members of...The Teenage Wolves!"

'Ouch!' To say that the crowd screamed would be a gross understatement. I've never heard such a loud roar in my life, and that's taking into account Matt's snoring. Coming to terms with the fact that my hearing may never be the same again, I take my stance at the edge of the huge stage to look on at the band, obscured from the audience's view by a black draping curtain. I can just make out feet and legs in the VIP section of the front row, some of which I assume to belong to our friends. My stomach knots just knowing that one set of those legs belongs to Dai...'Breath Takeru, breath.

Once the screaming dies down, Matt and the other band members start to thank the crowd for coming and tell them all about their journey to this point, and how none of it could have been achieved without them. Standard band talk I guess. Even though it's all probably pre-rehearsed small talk that I bet their manager forces them to go through, the crowd love Matt so much that they hang on to every word.

However it isn't that long before all the pleasantries are done with and Matt starts the introduction I've been dreading for days;

"Well everyone, we've got quite a show in store for you tonight, so we hope you won't be disappointed! But before all that, there's a special treat for you! Our opening act is a little different to what you might expect. Instead of bringing in a local band to warm you guys up, someone very dear to me has his own, special performance for you. Everyone, please welcome to the stage my little brother, Takeru!"

xXxXxXxXx

(Daisuke's POV)

'Takeru?! He's going to sing here tonight? Well I sure didn't see that one coming. I've never even heard him sing, but if his voice is consistent with everything else about him, he'll be amazing.' My thoughts start to get a little ahead of me, until I finally see him emerge from the left hand side of the stage, and come to a stop at the microphone stand in the center, right opposite where Tai and I sit. For the first moment or two, I'm overwhelmed with happiness at just seeing him for the first time in close to two weeks! A small smile creeps up on my face, and I almost forget all the awkwardness, until Takeru's wondering gaze finally lands on me, having eventually noticed my presence. I start to fidget in my chair and avoid looking directly at him, not knowing what to think or say. 'Mind you, with the applause in here for 'Keru and him holding the microphone, he would pretty much have to dominate any form of conversation.'

After another minute or so, Takeru manages to quieten down the crowd and then proceeds to remove the microphone from its stand and step forward.

"Thanks everyone for that amazing reception! Before I start, allow me to just introduce myself a little. As my brother told you, my name's Takeru, and I'm here to sing for you tonight, as well as finally get a few things off of my chest." I start to tighten my grip on the armrests a little, anxious at the thought of our private issues belted out to the world in a musical score.

"You see, when my family moved here to Odaiba, I quickly made friends with someone who's...a little different to most, but in the best way. In the course of a week, that person and I became inseparable, and it wasn't long until I began to feel something a lot stronger for them than friendship." 'Well I guess if nothing else, I at least know for sure now that Takeru likes me, or liked me. The jury might still be out on that one.' My thoughts run races between Takeru's sentences, trying to make heads or tails of what he's trying to say.

"But a couple of weeks ago, everything started to go wrong." It takes me a couple of seconds, but I then start to realise that everyone from our circle of friends – bar Takeru – is now staring at me. I jump a little from the concentrated attention, trying to differentiate between the sympathetic frowns (Kari, Tai, Sora, Ken, Jyou and Mimi) and the outright accusing glares (Yamato, Koushiro, Miyako, Cody). It's quite intimidating to be honest, but also not all that surprising. 'Guess I can't exactly blame them for being mad, can I? Especially Yamato after everything I put 'Keru through. Also, when all this is over I want to know exactly how the hell they all found out about this?!'

Either oblivious to the domestic moment occurring between his friends, or just ignoring it, Takeru continues with his confession;

"It's been the most horrible time of my life, and I've been constantly back and forth over everything that's happened." Well that just breaks my heart. I mean, I knew I had been putting him through hell but to actually hear him saying it out loud makes me want to jump on stage and hug him, but I still don't know what it is that he's saying all this for. "And I guess all I have left to say before I start is...I understand. And I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me. I've only known you for about a month and a half, yet I can't imagine a single day without you in my life."

'He...He's apologising? For what?! I don't know what I'm meant to forgive him for, it was me that made a mess of everything!' Clearly I was wrong before about being all cried out since as I wipe my eyes, my hand comes back freshly damp. 'He can't imagine being without me? I can barely believe what I'm hearing.'

Wiping away a solitary tear of his own, he turns and nods in the direction of Yamato and the other band members, and after confirming amongst themselves, they finally strike up an introduction and Takeru takes a deep breath, as if to ready himself.

"Everyone, this is a song I've spent the week writing, in the hopes of somehow adequately putting my feelings into words. It's one of the hardest things I've had to do, but let's give it a shot. This is 'What About Now'."

xXxXxXxXx

(Takeru's POV)

'Well, actually look at Dai without blacking out, check. Heart laid bare for the world to see, check. Time to try win him back now.'

I take a deep breath once again to try and steady my trembling body and uneven speech. As the band near the end of the introduction, I prepare at the microphone stand and the entire stadium emanates an eerie silence, listening intently as if every word about to be sung was for their ears alone. In reality, the hundreds to thousands of people in front of me may not even exist, as the only person I care about hearing my voice is roughly 5 metres away, meeting my gaze with focused, chocolate eyes.

"Shadows fill an empty heart, as love is fading,

From all the things that we are, but are not saying.

Can we see beyond the stars, and make it to the dawn?"

As I look across the faces of the arena, I see many people having closed their eyes, as if to focus even harder on the lyrics, trying to piece together the painful memories within them. Turning to Matt, I am greeted with an encouraging nod of the head as he mouths "Keep it up!"

"Change the colours of the sky, and open up to,

The ways you made me feel alive, the ways I loved you.

For all the things that never died, to make it through the night,

Love will find you."

Taking another glance into the crowd before starting the built up chorus, I look at the front row, and see smiles and gestures of encouragement from all my friends, all except Dai. He sits motionless, hands on the armrests, but it looks like a relaxed look. His eyes appear puffy from dried up tears, but otherwise his face is neutral, and impossible to get a read on. 'Maybe this wasn't the best idea, but I can't give up now!' Steeling myself for hopefully the final time this month, I take a deep breath and proceed to the chorus.

"What about now? What about today?

What if you're making me, all that I was meant to be?

What if our love, never went away? What if it's lost behind, words we could never find?

Baby before it's too late, what about now?"

I continue through the song at an even pace, trying not to even look at Dai, in fear of overanalysing his body language. If I just get through this, then I can talk with him face to face, actually ask him the questions I need to. It isn't until I get to the bridge of the song that I realise even my friends have started to close their eyes as well, joining the crowd in visualising the story within, just with a little more knowledge than the rest.

"Now that we're here, now that we've come this far,

Just hold on. There is nothing to fear, for I am right beside you.

For all my life,

I am yours."

As the song begins to wrap up and approach the final chorus, I can feel the weight of the song beginning to get to me, the lead-up to tonight starting to replay in its full glory in my mind. So in order to try keep my head clear, not look at Dai, and not show the entire population of Odaiba how close I am to tears, I also close my eyes for the final lines and finally sing for all I'm worth, showing my emotions through my music, as opposed to conversation, the way Matt's always done.

"What about now? What about today?

What if you're making me, all that I was meant to be?

What if our love never went away? What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

Baby, before it's too late,

Baby before it's too late,

Baby before it's too late,"

After the penultimate line, I slowly open my eyes, to find the entire stadium staring onward, tears in a surprising amount of the fans eyes. This isn't what catches my attention though. I look to the front row to find Dai's seat empty, with the faces of Tai, Sora and the others confused and remorseful. Tai shrugs his shoulders in complete bewilderment and I look to Matt and see him completely stunned just like the rest of them. The final line of the song is quieter than the rest, and is my final plea to my brother, the population of Odaiba, and to Dai;

"What about now?"

xXxXxXxXx

Well as far as the band's manager was concerned, the concert was a success. The crowd went wild for each of The Teenage Wolves' songs, but their applause still didn't match that of after I finished my song. Any other day I might have felt good about that, give me something to work Matt up about, but I wasn't exactly celebrating. Dai had run off to god knows where at some point towards the end of my song, and as soon I was off the stage I locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry. Big surprise there, eh?

Now I'm just sitting on the edge of the stage, without even a clue as to where to go from here. 'What about now?' A small part of me actually believed for a while that our plan would work. Once the concert had finished, Matt and the rest of the guys tried to get me out and comfort me, but I sent them all away. I think Matt and Tai understood that I needed to be alone for a little while since they didn't argue and ushered everyone out, telling me they'd see me back at home. Pretty much everyone has left the arena now, so I'm accompanied by only my thoughts as I look out to the mass of seats where only half an hour ago you couldn't see the floor.

Footsteps start to echo in my ears and I can tell someone is headed for the stage. It must just be a cleaner or one of the technicians gathering equipment. I don't move even an inch from my position until the sound of feet stop and are replaced by an oh-so-familiar voice.

"Wow, we really made quite the mess of things didn't we...?" My head bolts up and around instantly as I hear the soft notes from my burgundy haired friend.

"Dai...But, I thought..?"

"I thought I was about to breakdown and cry, I ran to come and find you, to talk to you!" He chuckles as he responds, noticing how upset I seemed to be, but then obviously remembers the reason for being here as his cheery expression sobers up quickly. "Look, about that kiss that you saw- "

"You don't have to explain anything." I cut in, waving my hand in dismissal. "Matt and Tai explained all about Archie and what happened at Tokyo High."

"And that didn't make you mad?" Dai responds, obviously not getting the reaction he expected.

"How the hell could I be mad at you?" I respond in disbelief, but not in anger. I stand up from my position and lock eyes with the confused teen in front of me. "I was the one that jumped to conclusions before even talking to you and it wasn't fair of me to ignore your calls, when you only wanted to explain. Not to mention that it was also me that initiated everything that happened between us, when you weren't really ready to start anything...Not that I didn't enjoy it." The blush on my face now must be visible from space, and Dai at least noticed it because he chuckles and begins to rub the back of his neck in an appropriately awkward fashion.

A couple moments of awkward silence pass between us, before we both finally stammer out an "I'm sorry!" at the same time, causing us to genuinely laugh together for the first time in too long.

"Alright, how about this? No more apologising to each other over this, we just agree on it all being one big misunderstanding?" Dai suggests, and it's probably the most sensible thing I've ever heard him say. 'Huh, thinking back, that's really all that this drama's been since the beginning, a misunderstanding!'

"I couldn't have put it better myself, Dai!" I say reassured, and allow as large a smile as I can muster stretch across my mouth, knowing now that all the pain we've felt the last month is now truly in the past!

"So, about that song of yours...Well, it was incredible. You've got such an amazing voice, like I thought, although I didn't know I had such an effect on you 'Keru!" The tanned boys' comment is accompanied by a typically cocky wink, and despite my elation at hearing my pet nickname for the first time in weeks, I wasn't about to let him get away with teasing me.

"Who said that song was about you...? I was trying to confess my feelings for Sora you know." Dai was about to put on his offended face and try to argue but once I started chuckling away he knew I had already won and gave up this time.

"Alright alright, very funny, we're even now then 'Keru." As the chuckling dies down, we both must realise that we still haven't settled on where we stand, so our expressions both take on a more serious, but gentle look and we inch just a little closer to each other as Dai resumes conversation. "So, erm, I can take it that you kinda me like then?" His bashfulness is completely unparalleled; I've never seen anything quite like it. Blushing at full force, he looks to me with that soft, curious expression I adore and I can't stop the fluttering in my stomach from once again taking over.

"No, Dai." The teen looks at me in confusion as I pause for a moment before continuing. "I kinda love you." The confusion turns to joy in a fraction of a second, as the words sink in and Dai takes another step closer to me. I don't hesitate in doing the same, and now we are mere inches away from each other, and I can feel his breath against my cheek as he leans in slightly to answer me.

"I love you too 'Keru. I just wish we had both realised earlier." The words ring through my head and repeat over and over. Even though everyone else told me so, and I didn't exactly disbelieve it, I finally know for sure that Dai feels the same way about me as I do for him. The next few moments feel like an eternity, as we stand so close to each other, our feelings for one another finally spoken aloud. As I focus on his breathing, and look into his chocolate brown eyes, I feel my attraction to him throughout my entire body, not all that unlike from our first kiss. However, this time there is no alcohol clouding our judgement, no inner conflict and repressed pain. This time, we're completely aware and more than willing to embrace.

Then, as if both of us had finished the same thought, we smile at each other briefly and then slowly close the gap between our lips.

xXxXxXxXx

(Daisuke's POV)

'I can't believe I'm actually kissing 'Keru! Well, I had kissed him before, but this time everything's clear and we're both doing this cause we know we're in love.'

It's taking a lot of energy right now to not actually scream from excitement. The kiss is slow and gentle, with neither of us particularly pressing against each other, we're simply feeling one another – discovering what it was we were missing whilst caught up in our drama. It isn't too long before Takeru reaches his arms round my waist and pulls me closer to him ('If that's even possible right now'). Not to be left behind, I reach one of my hands behind his neck and deepen the kiss, adding just that flare of passion, whilst my other hand stretches up and starts to play with the beautiful golden strands atop his head.

I can hear Takeru moan slightly into our embrace, and it isn't long before I do as well, but not from lust, simply from the longing we've both felt for this moment. I don't know how long we've spent standing kissing and I don't care. There couldn't be a more perfect moment in my life.

xXxXxXxXx

(Takeru's POV)

Well, if I didn't know what butterflies in my stomach felt like before, I certainly do now. But these butterflies aren't because I'm scared or nervous, just because I still can't believe this is actually happening to me! After all my uncertainty, I now know for sure that this feeling deep inside of me is without a doubt love. And I couldn't be luckier than to share this feeling with my best friend.

It's taking every ounce of restraint that I have to not stick my tongue in Dai's mouth and deepen our kiss but I know that this moment is about love, not lust. 'It's ok.' I think to myself. 'There'll be plenty of time for that later...'

Once we finally and reluctantly pull apart from each other, we touch foreheads and try to catch our breath again. As we lean against one another, we both begin to smile gently as we try to fight the crimson shade creeping up on our cheeks. When I feel I have the strength to stand on my own again, I rise from our position and look around the now completely abandoned arena.

"Hmm, I guess we'd better get out of here before they lock us in for the night." After a moment of consideration, Dai just winks at me as he responds;

"Would that really be so bad?" He even sticks his tongue out at the end of his comment, obviously deciding I hadn't blushed enough in the past five minutes.

"You're terrible. Why do I like you, again?"

"Love me, remember?" Dai responds with his best innocent face possible. All I can manage to do is laugh and prod him in the chest as I walk past him to leave the arena. It takes a minute for the tanned soccer player to stop laughing and let his brain catch up with his feet.

"Hey, wait up 'Keru'!" He quickly dashes to catch up to me, and when he does, says nothing, just slips his fingers between mine, taking my hand in his as we walk out into the cool Odaiba night. "You know, I'll probably have to come back with you to yours. It's a guarantee that your brother and his boyfriend will want an immediate de-briefing."

"You know about those two?!" I shout out in surprise.

"I kinda walked in on them while I was hanging out with Kari...Now that was awkward."

"Hmm, I wonder why that sounds familiar? Alright, you can come back with me, and let me guess, by the time we finish explaining everything to them, it'll be too late for you to walk home so you'll just have to spend the night?" Dai isn't particularly hard to figure out by this stage...

"You know me so well. I knew picking you for a boyfriend was good choice."

And without saying another word, we both begin the long walk back to my house, completely content in each other's company, having taken far, far too long to get here.

xXxXxXxXx

TBC? I think an epilogue may be in order here.

A/N: So erm, yeah. Alright, I was wrong about this chapter being shorter! That's basically the last chapter of Holding Back (thank god right?) and almost everything is nicely wrapped up now! Please do let me know what you thought of this chapter, believe me I know it's LONG overdue, I'm just glad I finally found the motivation to write again and finish this. I will be writing the epilogue, do not worry and then I can figure out where to go from there.

Also, I was thinking of re-writing the previous chapters of the story, nothing too major, just editing to take out what makes me cringe, and what I think would sound better in my different writing style? Do let me know by review/PM what you think of this idea! :)

Of course I do not own the rights to the song What About Now, that's all Daughtry there.

So yeah, R&R as per usual, and thanks to everyone that's read this story, for god knows whatever reason haha!

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