Chapter Three: Charlie Tells the Gang

Charlie strolled into Paddy's Pub, whistling cheerfully. He stopped in the middle of the room to do a ridiculous looking dance. Dee, Dennis, Mac, and Frank watched him from the bar and glanced at each other, confused.

Once he had finished his dance, Charlie walked over to the bar and sat on a stool. "Hey, guys. What's up?" He asked merrily.

"What's up with you?" Mac questioned back. "You seem actually happy."

"You do remember what happened last night, right?" Dennis reminded him.

"Yes," Charlie threw his hands up in the air and cheered, "and I don't care!"

The group raised their brows. "Wait," Frank said, "so does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Yep." He answered, popping the 'p'.

"Well, what got into you?" Dee snapped.

Charlie rested his head on his hand and stared off into the distance dreamily. "I met a girl."

Dee crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes, Frank groaned frustratedly, and Dennis and Mac made gagging sounds. Charlie stared in shock at his friends' reactions. "What? You asked!"

"Has she filed a restraining order against you yet?" Mac joked.

Charlie scowled. "Very funny." Then, a smile grew on his face again. "But I think she might really like me!"

"Do you hear yourself?" Dennis scoffed. "You're Charlie Kelly. A girl liking you is impossible."

He gaped at him. "It's true!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Dennis ignored him. "Anyways, today I met a girl."

Mac, Dee, and Frank gathered around him and stared at him in awe. Charlie glared at him and frowned.

"I met her in the grocery store. We're going out this Saturday." He smirked confidently.

Dennis's audience clapped like he had just recited the "I Had a Dream" speech. "Is she hot?" Mac spoke up.

"Obviously, Mac, don't be stupid." Dennis ridiculed him.

Charlie walked around to the back of the bar. "Unbelievable." He shook his head. He grabbed a beer and twisted the cap off. "You listen to Dennis tell his story about the girl he's gonna bang this Saturday and then dump, but you refuse to listen to mine!"

"Fine, Charlie. Enlighten us." Dee gave in. The group leaned on the bar and looked at Charlie expectantly.

Charlie cleared his throat. "After, last night, I got a little drunk-"

"A little?" Dennis interjected, laughing. The others stared daggers at him, and Dennis fell silent.

"Anyways," Charlie continued, "this girl took me home last night, and I thought I would never see her again. But then, I'm walking around Philly this morning and I see her working at a diner-"

"Oh, God, Charlie! She's a waitress?" Mac exclaimed.

"Yeah, but that's not important." He waved his statement away. "We got to talking, and she wants me to come back tomorrow!"

The group was quiet. Charlie grinned at them and awaited their response while they stared back at him with blank looks on their faces.

Eventually, Dennis broke the silence. "You made that up." Dee, Mac, and Frank murmured in agreement.

"What?" Charlie shouted. "No, I didn't! I'm telling the truth!"

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." Frank got off of his barstool and made his way to the entrance. "We need to open the bar."

Paddy's Pub was unusually full this night. Dee was behind the bar, Frank was in the office, and Charlie, Mac, and Dennis were meandering around the establishment, beers in hand. Two young girls in skinny jeans and exposing tank tops passed the trio, flashing them flirty looks as they did so.

Mac whistled. "Those two are ripe for the picking. Come on, Dennis, let's go talk to them."

He started to tug on Dennis's arm, but he pulled away. "Actually, I think I'm gonna sit this one out."

Mac looked at Dennis incredulously. "Are you crazy?" Then, his face lit up. "Oh, my God. You really like this girl!"

"What?" Dennis played it off. "No, it's just that," he paused, thinking of an excuse, and then pointed at one of the girls, "her boobs are uneven."

Mac examined the girl, squinting. "No, I'm pretty sure they're not." He denied.

Dennis laughed before becoming serious. "Yes, they are."

"No, they are not." Mac countered firmly.

"Yes. You see, the right one is bigger than the left." Dennis gestured at the girl's boobs with his hands.

"Fine, then you can have the other girl." Mac gave in.

Dennis grimaced. "See, I would, except her nose is too big."

"Oh, my God!" Mac yelled, aggravated. "Just admit it! You love this girl!"

"Well, I wouldn't say that-"

"When do we get to meet her?" Mac interrupted.

"Oh, no way in hell am I gonna let her meet you assholes." He refused.

"Whatever. If you're not gonna talk to those girls with me, then I guess I'll have both of them to myself." Mac declared and sauntered over to where the girls were.

"Well, it at least would've been nice to have been offered!" Charlie called after him. He took a drink of his beer and observed the dreary interior of the bar with Dennis. "Look at us." Charlie mused. "Two guys with two great girls."

"Yeah, except yours isn't real." Dennis remarked before walking away and leaving Charlie all by himself in the corner of the bar.

"For the last time, she is real! She exists!" Charlie screamed. "I'm not making her up!"

Charlie leaned against the brick wall and drank his beer. Even though no one believed that a girl could possibly be interested in him, he didn't care. He was going to see Sera again tomorrow.

And that's all that mattered.